Pajiba Love 09/08/09

What's Grosser Than Gross?

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (30)

Hey guys, I’m finally back! Thanks to the wonderful Agent Bedhead and Drew, who I met with his lovely and charming wife in Los Angeles, for covering for me last week. And now that I’m back, here’s a story about a “torrid affair” between Jack Black and Kathy Griffin. You know you missed me. (Celebitchy)

This was supposed to be a Labor Day post, but since I didn’t do a Pajiba Love yesterday you’ll just have to enjoy this holiday-themed gallery of heads exploding in movies after the fact. (Screen Junkies)

Aubrey O’Day (*crickets chirp*) of Danity Kane (*crickets chirp*) is now the leading advocate for pro-dying of your pet’s fur. Let’s send her to the middle east and have her stoned to death. (Webster’s)

What?! For realsies? Francis Bean Cobain was almost Tim Burton’s “Alice,” but turned down the role so she could pursue her studies, making her already infinitely more level-headed than either of her parents. (Gordon and the Whale)

Demi Moore and Perez Hilton are embroiled in some kind of twitter flame war, mostly due to Perez Hilton being a self-righteous, reprehensible asshole. (Yeeeah!)

The father of that Slumdog Millionaire kid who smacked around his son died in India of tuberculosis. Oh, and, good news! He also used up the kid’s entire salary on treatments before he kicked it. (Film Drunk)

Oh my GODDDD! Michelle Obama’s secret recipe to the gun show has finally been revealed. Spoiler alert! It’s 75% good genes. (Jezebel)

I can’t tell if the idea of peanut butter and jelly M&Ms sounds really good or really gross, but just to be on the safe side I should probably try them anyway. (Impulsive Buy)

Here are the top ten “Muppet Show” moments that are most likely to make you have a total freak-out if you watch to while tripping on acid. (Topless Robot)

Apropos of nothing, Jonathan Taylor Thomas from “Home Improvement” is twenty-eight today. Now don’t you feel fucking old? (DListed)

Apparently arachnidologists are also big Us Magazine readers, so here’s a bunch of stupid scary spiders named after celebrities. (mental floss)

I’m catching this a week or so after the fact, but from a less-ish young man leaving Los Angeles, here is a letter to a young man just moving to Los Angeles. (Slowly Going Bald)

Here’s a clip that will reduce your entire love of “Mad Men” into 60 seconds of cliches. But damn, is it funny. Enjoy:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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Comments

I thought for sure JTT died in a boating accident in Oregon years ago. Did I make that up? I swear someone told me that!

He was my first crush(first age appropriate crush, anyways), so I'm glad he's alive.

Posted by: Marra at September 8, 2009 1:15 PM

I can’t tell if the idea of peanut butter and jelly M&Ms sounds really good or really gross
They are actually a smidge on the tasty side. The new coconut ones are wonky, but not unforgivably so. Yep, this is my day thus far... analysing chocolates...

Keep an eye out for Kermit's extreme annoyance at Gonzo's ignorance of the legend of Faust.
Best. Sentence. Ever.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at September 8, 2009 1:17 PM

Oh I missed you so, Mrs. Love.

Perez Hilton needs to be bathed in acid. That is all.

But...oh God, who lets their teenage daughter go out dressed like that? KNOWING that people are going to take pictures of her? Jeebus.

Hee. "let's smoke indoors".

Posted by: figgy at September 8, 2009 1:18 PM

What is grosser than gross you ask. Grossest!

Posted by: androstarr at September 8, 2009 1:21 PM

Why would you post a link to lots of picture of fucking SPIDERS?!
More's the question, why did I click on it?

Ironic, that as the UK gets into a big media squall over the countries widespread alcohol problem, I break nine months of sobriety to drink myself to death rather than sleep and dream of those spiders crawling over my face and into my lungs

Posted by: Nadine at September 8, 2009 1:41 PM

!! I like the coconut ones, Patty O'Green.

The Muppet link almost broke my work computer. Mow I have to wait until I get home. Booo!

See, now this is why I find Lady Gaga endearing: At least she carried around an actual teacup, rather than a live animal. Also, she almost never wears pants, and that's something I can get behind. (Not literally, pervs... I just like having no pants on.)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 8, 2009 1:50 PM

The Muppet Show list is lacking by one clip not even featuring a celebrity guest: Jabberwocky. The decapitated Jabberwock is capable of speech and movement for crying out loud.

Posted by: Robert at September 8, 2009 1:56 PM

That header picture is great.

Posted by: buttercup at September 8, 2009 1:56 PM

Good God, that Frances Bean is lovely. I'm amazed she isn't feral and eating rutbagas in the Rockies with the upbringing she's had.

Posted by: Stacy D at September 8, 2009 2:03 PM

I can't speak to the effects of watching it on acid but there was a Muppet Show sketch where an old scientist drank a potion that turned him younger and younger while he sang Jim Croce's Time in a Bottle that seriously messed with me as a child.

I don't really know if six-year-old Yossarian developed anxiety over death and aging as a result of the skit or if the skit was just more powerful because of those preexisting neurosis.

In any event, I found the clip on YouTube [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvnCKJCgCD8]. I'm a little surprised to re-watch it because in my memory I was certain that the guy died or winked out of existence in the end.

Posted by: Yossarian at September 8, 2009 2:08 PM

I just love it when idiots tell us what their pets "like" to do and it's always projected from their tiny minds (the people, most dogs have an IQ of 12 which puts them above most Hollywood half-wits). I would like to drive around LA with a bumper sticker that says "My dog likes to roll around in squirrel poo and eat rabbit droppings".

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 8, 2009 2:19 PM

I was about to comment about Frances Bean Cobain...then I looked her up to find out she's only 17. Sooooo, now I'm going to go hide and scrub my eyes with soap.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at September 8, 2009 2:23 PM

Ugh, I can't stand Kathy Griffin.

Posted by: Sofía at September 8, 2009 2:28 PM

I read about 'strawberry flavoring' on Cracked (journalism!) last night. Thanks, but no thanks. I can handle bug-mush red, but chemlab waste? Nay!

Posted by: replica at September 8, 2009 2:38 PM

Good God, that Frances Bean is lovely. I'm amazed she isn't feral and eating rutbagas in the Rockies with the upbringing she's had.

Posted by: Stacy D at September 8, 2009 2:03 PM
---
Did you mean "lovely" ironically? I hope you meant "lovely" ironically because it looks like she got a lot more of her mom's looks than her dad's, and even as a straight guy I think I can say Kurt was WAY prettier than Courtney.

You know who really should get down on their knees every night and thank great good Godtopus they got their mother's looks and not their father's? William and Harry.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 8, 2009 2:56 PM

Ha hahahaha ha ha, take THAT Kathy Griffin

Posted by: A. Biro at September 8, 2009 3:39 PM

You know, that actually makes me want to watch Mad Men.

Posted by: coryo at September 8, 2009 4:34 PM

Smacking as it does of the faux-cosmopolitan lingo that was tres chic at the country clubs of the midwest in the 1970s, "apropos of nothing" has always bugged the hell out of me. However, I suppose it's better than "oh my god this is like totally random you guys"...or as the girls say nowadays, in this era of Disney-fed tween faux-piety, "oh my gosh this is like so random..."

Posted by: laredo at September 8, 2009 4:39 PM

Damn, I miss The Muppet Show. There's never been anything like it before or since.

I loved that 60 second mini-MadMed. That pretty much sums up the series, although I think more boobies were needed.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 8, 2009 5:11 PM

Kathy Griffin looks eerily lifelike in that photo up there.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at September 8, 2009 5:46 PM

No. You are not getting me to click on a link to a story about Kathy Griffin & Jack Black possibly having...relations.

I. Am. Not.

There may be a picture.

Posted by: greer at September 8, 2009 5:50 PM

Nothing in the world could get me to click on that Mental Floss link. Not even promises of naked Sam Worthington serving me cupcakes while I lounge in a big fluffy bed.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 8, 2009 6:00 PM

Also, I thought Sid Caesar was dead. He looked like he was about 70 in Grease, and that came out 30 years ago!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 8, 2009 6:01 PM

Good God, that Frances Bean is lovely.

I said it again because I mean it. And no wheelbarrows of cash could be an ointment for your dad not sticking around and your mom being a crack whore. There's you irony, I got your irony right here.

Frances Bean and I hope you become feral and have to subsist of rutabagas. Girl is striking and lovely and don't you ruin her with what she's been through.

Posted by: Stacy D at September 8, 2009 6:40 PM

Why does that dog painting lady looks so freakish and insane?

Oh, right, because she PAINTS DOGS!

Posted by: yocean at September 8, 2009 6:56 PM

I stand by my statement. If I sat in front of the student union here for an hour at lunchtime tomorrow, I could point to 100 girls better looking, and many of them would probably be better actors. Bean wouldn't even begin to see the camera lights if it weren't for her lineage. In that regard, she's not much different from dozens if not hundreds of actors who get plenty of shots at the business because they have a famous surname. An even bigger sin is that this leads to innumerable incredibly stupid stories that include the phrase "acting gene."

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 8, 2009 11:46 PM

, (TCFKAB)

Why should the fact that you could point out 100 prettier girls have any bearing on whether she become an actor or not.
Is acting skill determined by your looks any more than by your lineage?
While I agree that nepotism is not the greatest way to chose the right actor for the role, having never seen Miss Bean act, I think that ruling someone out based on the fact that they don't fit the picture of Hollywood perfection, is a tad harsh.
If it were down to prettiness, where would the Philip Seymour Hoffmans and Angelica Hustons of the world be? I prefer them to the Brangelinas any day & I'd personally like to see fewer "perfect" faces in Hollywood films myself regardless of how they got their first break.

Posted by: missh at September 9, 2009 7:16 AM

Shit, really??? You should really warn a person when there are going to be spiders all over a link. Spiders UP CLOSE no less. Fuck.

I see a spider, even a picture of a spider, and I get all twitchy and itchy and I look like I am having a goddamned seizure.

There should be a standard (NSFA), *not safe for arachnaphobes*, tag that is standard on all posts involving or including pictures of spiders. I mean they have a tag for the good stuff like boobies and porn and the ilk (NSFW), so I always know which links to click on...why can't it work the opposite way?

Just sayin'.

Posted by: ashes at September 9, 2009 11:35 AM

missh,

I'm not saying, for one thing, that Bean isn't pretty. She kind of is. And I'm not saying she can't act. Maybe she can. What I'm saying is she gets the benefit of the doubt and all the opportunities over 10,000 young ladies who, perhaps, can act rings around her, because her last name is Cobain. And it's not nepotism in the true sense. Nepotism is when I'm the boss and I hire my brother. Presumably Courtney Love is not the head of a film studio. Bean in all probability gets the chance because some (pardon the pun) bean counter thinks her name in the credits will sell more tickets that "missh" in the credits will, so who cares whether missh can act and Bean maybe can't?

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 9, 2009 2:36 PM

Spiders are NOT, NOT good creatures. They are evil, octolegged creatures who scurry around in the dark and kill thing slowly. They are evil. They will kill you in your sleep. They are here to take over the world. They will steal your wallet, knock up your daughter, run off with the good scotch, and wreck your car. Seriously, for the sake of humanity, quit linking to spiders and all of their deadly, destructive ilk.

Posted by: Melody at September 10, 2009 12:51 AM

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What's Grosser Than Gross?

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