Pajiba Love 09/02/09

IT'S IN THE HOLE!

By Drew Morton | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (40)

I noticed in the Pajiba suggestion box that a few readers requested reviews of porn based on actual films. For those interested, my friend William Bibbiani has just the thing for you. (Geekscape!)

A trailer for the latest reboot of ABC’s “At the Movies” (1986-Present), now featuring my favorite film critic, A.O. Scott (The New York Times), and Michael Phillips (The Chicago Tribune) has been released. Vaya con Dios Ben Lyons! (Spout)

Despite the fact that Dig Out Your Soul was far from a great record, am I the only person slightly saddened by the end of Oasis? Of course, the band has been known to have more lives than a cat in the past, so perhaps there’s still hope! (Rolling Stone)

Another Blair Witch Project sequel? We all know how well that idea turned out the first time… (IGN)

Want to know how the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is going to pick their 10 best picture nominations? (Dark Horizons)

AMC has officially renewed Mad Men for a forth season. I will be privately celebrating the ability to continue to watch Christina Hendricks. (Deadline Hollywood Daily)

What was the biggest flop of the summer? A movie you probably haven’t even heard of. (Gordon and the Whale)

Peep this killer poster celebrating the 20th Anniversary of “Twin Peaks.” (El Jefe Design)

Another look at the show that ABC hopes to use to fill the hole that “Lost” will leave after next year: “Flash Forward.” (Film School Rejects)

Our man, William Goss, has a spectacular piece up over on Cinematical exploring the fun facts of this summer’s movies. (Cinematical)

Criterion has made some major release announcements in the past weeks. Looking for some Golden Age television? How about a bunch of IFC titles, including Steven Soderbergh’s Che and Christopher Nolan’s Following? (Screen Daily)

Looking forward to Mike Judge’s Extract (which I’ll be reviewing later this week)? Perhaps this interview will keep your TPS reports in tip-top shape. (The New York Times)

Finally, in yesterday’s “Pajiba Love” I ran the AV Club’s list of the best suicide songs. Now, they’ve provided a list of 25 songs to try to talk you out of putting your head in a gas oven. (AV Club)

Speaking of music inspiring suicide, has everyone seen this? It’s a very intense song…

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Comments

I briefly heard about that Nia Vardalos movie, but damn...only $11,000? That's just tragic. I didn't even know it had been released. But I also thought My Big Fat Greek Wedding was overrated.

Posted by: Brie at September 2, 2009 1:12 PM

Wow. Have you guys seen the full page Extract ad that's playing here? Is it just me or does Mila Kunis just look haggard in that? eeeeesh...

Posted by: figgy at September 2, 2009 1:16 PM

Oh God, that Twin Peaks poster - WANT WANT WANT.

Posted by: TK at September 2, 2009 1:17 PM

I'm actually a HUGE Oasis fan. To quote Juno, They're beautiful, but evil. Like Diana Ross.

Posted by: Sofía at September 2, 2009 1:20 PM

Good! I'm glad that Nia Vardalos movie failed because her character in that movie had my name and I couldn't stomach the thought of introducing myself and having someone go "Oh, you mean like in that terrible move? Neat!". I'd end up killing some poor innocent romantic comedy lover and we all know I'm too pretty to go to jail.

Posted by: Rusty (formerly Genny) at September 2, 2009 1:29 PM

"Caddy Shack Up", indeed.
Pfft!
Let's talk CLASSIC porn movies based on actual films.
"Forrest Hump".
"The Hump For Pink October".
"Good Will Humping".
And for you lovers of classic lit porn adaptations,
"The Mount of Connie Christo".
My work here is done.

Posted by: Spender at September 2, 2009 1:39 PM

That "Without You" video looks like the non-naked outtakes from a porno.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits (aka Dangle McGee) at September 2, 2009 1:40 PM

Where's Nosek?

Did she finally hit bottom? Good, now the healing of her shattered life can begin.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 2, 2009 1:43 PM

Wow, still no mention of that Morena Baccarin naked video?

Posted by: Jay at September 2, 2009 1:46 PM

"To quote Juno,..."

Seriously? Juno?

*shakes head*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 2, 2009 1:46 PM

That music video is HI-Larious. Gormley= Sex!

Greek Wedding was great ONLY because of the terrific supporting cast. So many great actors in the family,and John Corbett makes me tingly in naughty places (I still yearn for Chris in the Morning, so much so that I forgive him Sex in the City) and the fact that it was based on the true story of how Vardalos' marriage actually came to happen that gave it the subtle ring of truth that resonated with audiences. Too bad. It was nice to see a little guy (gal) rise to the top, but I can't say I'm surprised.

Extract looks awesome. Kunis does look a little rough. Perhaps on purpose, to shake the whole 70's Show association. Otherwise the Bateman-Kunis angle would be a bit pervy. He is old enough to be her father.
He is old enough to be my wiser more experienced lover.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 2, 2009 1:46 PM

Wow, still no mention of that Morena Baccarin naked video?
Posted by: Jay at September 2, 2009 1:46 PM

Whoa up, there, Jay... naked Inara?
Must have linky goodness.

Posted by: Spender at September 2, 2009 1:48 PM

Oh and Oasis have kinda sucked from day one to my ears. It sounded better once I was pissed off and shoving people bumping into me or surfing into my head at that show that took goddamn forever to start in 94. Then it was like "oh...bar fight music".

Posted by: Jay at September 2, 2009 1:53 PM

Got your attention, didn't I?

Posted by: Jay at September 2, 2009 1:54 PM

Spender,
what, no Shaving Ryan's Privates?

Posted by: Tarn at September 2, 2009 1:57 PM

...am I the only person slightly saddened by the end of Oasis?

As usual, Jay took the words right out of my...keyboard? Anyway, if you have a lick of sense you'll switch to Blur.

Posted by: Cindy at September 2, 2009 2:02 PM

I do enjoy watching Noel Gallagher run his mouth though, in praise or condemnation. He's a right cunt, but he's smart and pretty funny.

Posted by: Jay at September 2, 2009 2:06 PM

I've had high hopes for being hooked by Flash Forward, but that preview was awful. I hope Charlie makes it all better. And I hope he brings his guitar and doesn't sing Wonderwall.

Posted by: Cindy at September 2, 2009 2:07 PM

"...I'm too pretty to go to jail."

If I remember correctly, Rusty (formerly Genny), as a Ginger, you're allowed one murder per decade. It was all part of the "Ginger Allowance Act of 1932"... I can't recall the specifics, but I believe you can find a link(s) on the Library of Congress website - I suggest finding the full Act and taking advantage of the rights that have been granted to you. After all, being in the 1-to-2 percent of the human race that suffers a recessive gene on Chromosome 16 gives you access to some pretty sweet deals, such as:

1. Did you know that you can legally soak your hair clippings and bottle the highly addictive and hallucinatory pheomelanin as a narcotic?

2. There's a Dutch festival in the city of Breda where, as a Ginger, you're allowed to ravage nearby towns without threat of persecution. You can also hump a goat!

3. If you happen to be the first person on a crime scene, you can legally go through the pockets of the deceased. Careful though - if you go through the pockets of another Ginger, you are drawn and quartered the following day at sunrise.

4. You never have to pay for Chapstick. Ever.

5. If you ever see the Carrot Top, you are fully allowed, even encouraged, to beat the living shit out of him with a folding chair. He's a Ginger, sure - but there's a specific addendum to the Act in regards to the ethical treatment of Prop Comics.

See? You are one of the chosen, Miz Lady. Now get out there and shine!

Posted by: Skitz at September 2, 2009 2:07 PM

Skitz is trying so hard to beat the new people. Oh figgy, whatcha gonna do?

Posted by: Cindy at September 2, 2009 2:10 PM

Wait, I don't have to pay for chapstick?!? Thank freaking god, I lose that stuff more than Lindsey Lohan loses her pants.

Skitz, you are a fountain of useful information.

Posted by: Rusty (formerly Genny) at September 2, 2009 2:34 PM

I might just give him another lifetime award to keep him from taking up valuable space on the list.

Posted by: figgy at September 2, 2009 2:36 PM

You see, You learn something new every day around here. Thanks to Skitz, I am now aware of my murdering quota. If it weren't for Pajiba, I would never have learned that. Is it like rollover minutes? I have 3 decades to make up for.
I'm makin' a list!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 2, 2009 2:38 PM

Now here is a suggestion I meant to put yesterday;

Y'all must know of live blogs, where by a paticular event or what ever is blogged 'as it happens'

We all of course remember Mystery Science Theatre. Since we're a bunch of funny mother fuckers I figure we could arrange events whereby we pick a film and live blog on it...obviously arranging it would be difficult but I think with some emails we could organise it. If a small group do it each time and the film can be picked by other users, as well as the ones who'll be doing the blogging. Flat out, it could be hilarious. Or a total disaster

Posted by: Nadine at September 2, 2009 2:51 PM

On Golden Blonde looked like fun. I personally own a copy of Flesh Gordon.

Posted by: bentjohn at September 2, 2009 2:55 PM

Skitz do you have to be a full bore Ginger for that to apply, or can a very brief phrase where my hair was turning from black to blonde (before now settling on a lovely brown) where it was a reddish shade, include me in these laws?
ALSO do you have to be a ginger to beat up Carrot Top?

Posted by: Nadine at September 2, 2009 2:56 PM

I'm going to have to kill him to get one of those, aren't I?

Posted by: Cindy at September 2, 2009 3:18 PM

I'm actually a HUGE Oasis fan. To quote Juno, They're beautiful, but evil. Like Diana Ross.

Posted by: Sofía at September 2, 2009 1:20 PM

Or to quote Juno another way, "It sucks, it's just noise!"

I fucking hate Oasis. How a band that boring, that bland, that arrogant, that outrageously obvious about copping other people's work can be considered by some people one of the best bands in the world is baffling to me. Good riddance, I hope they never play another note.

As for that Criterion article, all that and still no Eternal Sunshine? Travesty.

Posted by: ChristianH at September 2, 2009 3:21 PM

I, for one, was thrilled to see that the Rainbow Killer was in the lowest-grossing domestic film of all time.

*drags long on a cigarette*

God, I love Schadenfreude.

*exhales*

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at September 2, 2009 3:28 PM

One-hit wonders are tragic enough when caused by bumbling suits who force creators to abandon outstanding original endeavors in their infancy.

It's arguably worse when the same occurs as a result of said creators declining to produce further works from that property.

I derived some enjoyment from the Blair Witch 2, but then again, I'd been warned extensively about what a piece of shit it was. A sequel that actually comes from the co-creators of the original could be fantastic.

If you invent the wheel, don't pass on the opportunity to invent the wing in order to go rub poo on yourself.

Posted by: laredo at September 2, 2009 3:32 PM

"I'm going to have to kill him to get one of those, aren't I?"

I... uh. Is that referring to me? The killing thing? 'Cause... um (-sob-) I DON'T WANNA BE KILLEDED! I DO ALL KINDS OF GOOD THINGS! THINGS IN THE COMMUNITY AND FOR KIDS AND THE ELDERLY LIKE...

...like, um.

Well, I always put a nickle in the Blind Kid Bucket when I take one of those shitty mints. Lessee... I never steal the pens from the bank vaccuum tube things at the drive-up teller. Never do that... I... I gave some old books to the library after the used book store wouldn't give me any dough for 'em. There were like, twenty books too...

See?

I'm worth not killing and stuff...

Posted by: Skitz at September 2, 2009 3:34 PM

*quietly tiptoes behind Skitz*

Posted by: Cindy at September 2, 2009 3:44 PM

Drew, despite the fact that I was a huge Oasis fan, and I mean HUGEEEE i'm in no way saddened by this turn of events, you know why? I'm totally pro euthanasia, that bitch has been a walking corps for freaking too long and when you see a freaking zombie you don't cheer him up, you freaking shoot him in the head, unless he's Nick Frost, or Bubba.
and now i'm gonna listen to "definitely maybe" once again and remember the good old times

Posted by: rio at September 2, 2009 4:12 PM

Oh. My. God. Drew, where did you find that music video? Where did Gormley COME from? Did he learn to sing by listening to too much Rush (fucking Geddy Lee!)?? And why was he fidgeting so much? Was he marching in place? What was up with the girl? Was she in a Sirens photo shoot or something? SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 2, 2009 6:37 PM

Mel,

You should look up Gormley on YouTube. There's SO MUCH MORE. ::Shudder:: I played his song, "Little Wings," for a friend who said it sounded like bad Hobbit music.

He also cites Rush and Geddy Lee in an awkward interview where he talks about his ideal woman.

And yes, he was marching in place. While I doubt it was a feeble attempt to channel the late Ian Curtis and was more of a nervous tick, I'd like to think the former.

Posted by: Drew Morton at September 2, 2009 6:53 PM

"the most important music television show along the gulf coast"

listen: I actually vomited after watching that entire video.

Posted by: Christopher at September 2, 2009 7:26 PM

24. The Monkees, “Goin’ Down”

That goddamn better not be a ranking.

Posted by: Jay at September 2, 2009 7:49 PM

You are absolutely not the only one who cares about the Oasis break-up. I can't hardly open my mouth/write about music without relating it to Oasis in some way. Man, I'm borderline evangelical, but also used to most everyone I know not giving a shit. Or giving enough of a shit to not mock me. I think that anyone who dismisses everything post 1995 just quit paying any attention. Or were the 90s version of hipsters who can't be bothered to like things other people like. Nevermind that they had a sold-out giant stadium tour this summer.

Anyway.
It is somewhat sad, but there will likely be new music from Noel before long, and you never know with Liam. Wait and see, I guess.

Posted by: Sara at September 2, 2009 11:32 PM

While it's pretty cool that Criterion and IFc have hooked up (a Criterion edition of Y Tu Mama Tambien?! WANT), but I hope they continue to release a lot of older films, like more Mikio Naruse (only ONE of his films is on DVD here in Region 1) and Henri-Georges Clouzot (who is TOO awesome to not have more films released. Come on Criterion!) Also, more Mizoguchi, Antonioni, Satyajit Ray...maybe Tampopo by Juzo Itami?! Where the crap is that film?! It's not on DVD! It's almost as criminal as not having The African Queen out on anything higher than VHS. Oy.

Posted by: vic at September 3, 2009 4:52 AM

I gotta wonder what inspires people to do those sucktacular home music videos. I can understand that even if you have zero talent, you might find it fun, but no one EVER seems to be enjoying themselves. It's like they're all being held at gunpoint by the cameraman. This guy seems to have a stick up his ass which accounts for his rigid posture and squeaky singing; even that or he's terrified the lousy special effects might sense his presence and attack. And please don't make me picture him with that girl. It's not right.

She gets my vote for "Most Uncomfortable Smile While Leaning Against a Tree in a Series of Random Landscape and Canoe Shots" award, though.

Posted by: DeadBessie at September 3, 2009 10:13 AM

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