free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 08/27/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be an extra on “The Wire” — and who hasn’t — a field agent with the full scoop. (The Bicameral Mind)

Perez Hilton has never looked so good. Made you look! (Gallery of the Absurd)

Owen Wilson may have tried to off himself. And just so you know, folks — I am fully aware that there is a You, Me and Dupree joke to be made here, but I am just far too fucking classy to make it. (Yeeeah!)

But not too classy for this! Coming up, on a very special episode of “Hogan Knows Best…” (IDLYITW)

Overheard in Disneyland: “Mommy, why is that man with the funny hair wearing makeup?” (Agent Bedhead)

From what I can remember in college — and not much if you catch my drift, heh heh uhh — there were quite a few very special people worthy of this type of scholarship. (QuizLaw)

Yeah! Suck it, Nectarines. (Cracked)

More on why Fox News are a bunch of unprofessional, sensationalist fuckwits led by none other than Lucifer himself. If you click, prepare to seethe. (Liberal Avenger)

What’s more mind-numbing — that one-fifth of Americans allegedly can’t find America on a map; or Miss Teen South Carolina’s explanation for it? (Metadish)

Today’s clip is a hell of a lot scarier than the version of the Puppetmaster that I remember.

Pajiba Love | August 27, 2007 | Comments (26)


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Comments

Holy Christ in a woodchipper, I could actually feel myself getting dumber as I listened to Miss Teen South Carolina "explain" why people can't find the U.S. on a map. I was laughing, sure, but then I felt the dribble of IQ fluid out my ear and down my neck. I think the Fucking Moron Monster came on the side of my head -- I'm down a quart of smart juice.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 27, 2007 3:57 PM

One of my coworkers was just telling us at lunch about the Miss Teen South Carolina bit - as he said, he almost had an accident on the eliptical, it was so bad.

Posted by: pinkcheese at August 27, 2007 4:12 PM

I either had a stroke or someone just put a tab of acid in my soda - that video was disturbing. Why make me watch a video of a hobbit dancing with, among other thins, a large walking penis with boils on it? Yikes! Where the hell was that from?

Posted by: Brian at August 27, 2007 4:35 PM

Oh my good, sweet, maimed Lord of Education. As a high school English teacher, I want to cry - and I don't even fucking teach geography.

Posted by: Ariel at August 27, 2007 4:53 PM

Not to be a pain in the ass, but when I clicked on the link to today's clip, it took to me to the Pajiba Love that alleges Siegfried and Roy are gay.

I can't decide whether that Gabba Gabba Yo (or whatever) crap is harmless or a scariest moment in the making for my 3 year old. Judging from Brain's response, I think I'll steer my daughter clear of it...

Posted by: Dangle McGee at August 27, 2007 4:55 PM

Goddamn...even AC Slater was laughing at her...

Posted by: bf at August 27, 2007 5:10 PM

God, Litely. That clip. You don't know what a goldmine gem of a gemgem this is for me. Mr. Ranylt has a massive neurotic abhorrence of both puppets and Elijah Wood, so I'll have some real fine cruel amusement later today.

Posted by: Ranylt at August 27, 2007 5:17 PM

I couldn't even watch that entire Miss Teen clip. I weep for the future.

Posted by: Miss_Erin at August 27, 2007 6:03 PM

God, I never thought Elijah Wood could be that creepy.

Posted by: Gaby at August 27, 2007 6:15 PM

Okay, I may be giving up my welcome here, but I LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba. Takes me back to cheesy 70's and 80's children's tv. And it sucks way less than Franklin or Little Bear.
Yes, I do have small children.

Posted by: ShannonAnn at August 27, 2007 6:30 PM

Oh, the Miss Teen USA clip. Nothing like nonsensical rambling to give me a headache and a furrowed brow. I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe she was just really nervous.....but, US Americans? vs what.....non-US Americans?

Wait...maybe it was a stroke of genius. You can be North American, but not a US American (Canadian! Mexican? Jamaican?). You can also be a South American, but not a US American (Brazilian! Argentine! Chilean!). It's like a geographical version of "A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square," right? C'mon!

Posted by: Daphne at August 27, 2007 8:20 PM

Watching Fox News makes me feel like my brain cells are being sucked out through my eyeballs.

Obviously the electrocuted boy's parents did not send him off to college with the same pearls of wisdom that my dad did...

#1 "Nothing good happens after 10:00."
and, my favorite,
#2 "Always remember that the 3 most dangerous words in the English language are 'Hey, watch this!'"

I have no comment for that pageant girl other than I want you all to know that I am doing everything within my power to keep my girls from being that stupid. And especially from being that stupid on camera.

Posted by: wsapnin at August 27, 2007 9:37 PM

"Owen Wilson may have tried to off himself. And just so you know, folks -- I am fully aware that there is a You, Me and Dupree joke to be made here, but I am just far too fucking classy to make it."

If you want to go for class, make a Royal Tenanbaums joke.

(Yes, I know that was Luke Wilson's character. So what? It works. And Owen's character was pretty self-destructive, too.)

Posted by: Shadowen at August 27, 2007 9:46 PM

That Gabba Gabba Yo thing was created by The Aquabats, a crazy-fun band...don't know if it's a joke or not but it seems like something they'd do.

Posted by: Vincent at August 27, 2007 10:03 PM

Actually, most Americans can't find the US on the map because women like that have somehow managed to develop the mental capacity required to breed.

So unfortunate.

Posted by: Deleted Space at August 28, 2007 1:19 AM

Actually, most Americans can't find the US on the map because women like that have somehow managed to develop the mental capacity required to breed.

So unfortunate.

Posted by: Deleted Space at August 28, 2007 1:23 AM

Oh Dear God in heaven! Miss South Carolina is going to run for elected office one day, and she will claim George Bush was her inspiration...

On a related note, why do stupid people flaunt there lack of intelligence like its a badge of honor?

Posted by: Girl With Curious Hair at August 28, 2007 1:24 AM

Oh Dear God in heaven! Miss South Carolina is going to run for elected office one day, and she will claim George Bush was her inspiration...

On a related note, why do stupid people flaunt there lack of intelligence like it's a badge of honor?

Posted by: Girl With Curious Hair at August 28, 2007 1:27 AM

I saw the Miss South Carolina clip a couple of days ago and as a result spent several minutes staring at my computer screen with slack-jawed amazement before calling in both my roommates to witness the sheer horror of it.

The phrase "room temperature IQ" has never been so apt.

I don't get why people embrace their stupidity either, I guess it's because I class as a "smart girl" rather than a "pretty girl" but I don't play up my lack of traditional cuteness... the mind boggles as to why anyone would actually make a point of enhancing their bad qualities - in this case evidently being as dumb as a bag of hammers.

Meh, it's tuesday morning and I'm cranky.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at August 28, 2007 4:48 AM

"If you want to go for class, make a Royal Tenanbaums joke.

(Yes, I know that was Luke Wilson's character. So what? It works. And Owen's character was pretty self-destructive, too.)"

Actually it does work because Owen Wilson co-write the film in which said scene occurred!

Posted by: yankee_jones at August 28, 2007 9:03 AM

Girl with Curious Hair: Actually, it would be "THEIR" lack of intelligence, not "THERE" lack of intelligence, would it not? Pot, kettle. Have you two met?

Posted by: Z at August 28, 2007 10:05 AM

I am so glad I had Miss Teen USA on tivo (if that statement raises eyebrows, my sister knew one of the contestants from elemantary school, so...don't even go there). I swear I rewound and watched poor Miss South Carolina a half dozen times, before calling everyone elese into the room to watch it another half dozen times. My favorite part? Mario freakin' Lopez looking embarrased for her, then just taking the mic away in a merciful coup d'grace. That, and the fact that the next girl's question asked if she preferred Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan.

Many Americans don't own maps. Heh.

Posted by: Matt B at August 28, 2007 11:41 AM

Sorry for the double post, but....arghhh do I hate Bill O'reilly.

Posted by: Matt B at August 28, 2007 11:51 AM

The "Pot, Kettle" thing is old and exceedingly obnoxious.
Yes, even when you're correct.

Posted by: Amanda at August 28, 2007 12:38 PM

Amanda, you know what else is old an exceedingly obnoxious? Your mom.

Posted by: z at August 28, 2007 3:17 PM

Amanda, you know what else is old and exceedingly obnoxious? Your mom.

Posted by: z at August 28, 2007 3:18 PM