Pajiba

Why does Chris Brown have Homer Simpson hair? Did I miss a trend to look like fat bald cartoon characters?

Titanic? Really, Stephen King? You're such a weirdo.

Was that chocolate thing real? Those bright red talons grasping at the chocolate cake were really frightening. But now I want me some cake. Damn!

"Why does science need a machine that turns food into poop?

Seriously, Science? This is what you're doing nowadays? Look, I'll tell you what - you want poop? Send me some of that cash you get for funding your Fantabulous Shit-Machine Extraordinare, I'll purchase some food, and within 24 hours, I'll FedEx you my scientific findings. Hows that sound? In fact, I'll study the effects of foreign foods (Chinese, Thai, Indian, etc...), the effects of food when combined with a variety of liquors, and - AND - I'll also test the effects of foods from around this great nation of ours: Maine Lobster, Philly Cheesesteaks, Rocky Mountain Oysters, Chicago Deep-Dish, the list goes on. All I ask is a little additional funding for airfare and accomodations... As for the whole corn/peanut debacle? No sweat. I'll gorge myself on fucking fistfuls of corn, I'll eat every goddam nut I see - and in return, I'll send you my home-brewed Pearson's Salted Nut Roll... Sound like something you'd be interested in? Fantastic. Send me the cash and you can get back to more important things... Like figuring out how to make a humpable toaster.

Sincerely,
Skittimus Maximus Esquire, III
Pooping For Over Three Decades

I gotta say, I really don't like chocolate.

I know that in me saying that it somehow makes me less of a woman or something. However, mah big boobies would disagree with you.

ashes, I'm right there with you. I enjoy chocolate on very rare, moderated occasions, but otherwise?

Eh.

Eesh. You're just a heathen, TK.

I was thinking the exact same thing as Cindy.

Stacy, was that intentional? I kept substituting the word "chocolate" with "poop" in that video. It made it much funnier.

So wait...Bandslam was supposed to be GOOD?!

Oh, heavens. Apparently we're on the same cycle, Stace. SO, yeah, now I am A) dying for chocolate, B) wish that video had a completely different soundtrack (bow-chicka etc. etc.), and C) wish I had a job that enabled me to have my hands in mass quantities of melted chocolate all day. Although, how do you do that job without licking your hands every ten minutes? Also, without just stripping naked and diving into a vat of warm, melty chocolate? I reiterate: bow-chicka etc. etc.

How is it the Pajiba ladies are all synched up? Do hormones go through computers? THAT explains why whenever I read anything by Skitz I get a tingle.

Dr. Controversy-JINX!!!

Quick, someone buy Skitz that doggy poop harness thing, so he can create science anywhere he walks.

Chocolate? Meh. Pastries? Hell yes.

Is that the best that Twatter can offer? Yeah, the old guy is funny, but why should I check someone's twat for that? My twat is way funnier.

Why does science need a machine that turns food into poop?

Because we have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic bowel movement. The Cloaca will be that machine. Better shits than before. Better, faster, odorless.

Damn you people. I'm gonna go eat about 50 chocolate turtles now. Mmmhmm.

Hmmm. Stephen King, one of these things (possibly two but for sure one) is not like the other. And that would be Titanic. Really?

BWeaves- 'Twatter'
Now that I would sign up for.

Sorcerer with Roy Scheider was the William Friedkin remake of the French new wave Wages of Fear. I was surprised he named Cujo over the vastly superior Shining if he was going to pick a movie made from one of his books. Does he actually think it's the better movie?

The Shining was awful. No matter what version we're talking about. If he was going to list one of his own movies I would've expected Shawshank or Stand By Me or... something. Not that Cujo was a terrible movie, I just wonder why he'd pick that one? Hrmm.

1. No cycling here, since the great and wonderful thermal ablation several years back. YAY! Science is so awesome. I got to keep all my lady bits, but no messing with lady issues anymore. I love science and medicine and stuff like that. (And yes, I'm bragging, ladies.)

2. I read recently that having a diet high in sugar other simple carbs dampens the libido. Since mine's already dampened enough, no chocolate for me. I'm going to experiment and see if maybe NOT having Lucky Charms and sugar-filled coffee every morning helps me want to jump Mr. Snuggie's bones. He's very supportive of this experiment.

3. Um, guys? Dan wrote a really great reflection on the objectiveness of good and bad in film and, well, did anyone read it? I'm not trying to be all school-marmish here, BUT DID YOU READ IT? There's gonna be a test later.

But seriously, it's objectively good. Maybe it'll help you shake off the hormone and chocolate addled fog your brains all seem to be in. I feel like I'm channeling Mr. Hand: ARE YOU ALL HIGH?

King has repeatedly stated that he does not like Kubrick's version of The Shining.

Yeah, he took a fast novel and turned it into a timeless piece of film...

OH....MY.....GOD! How the hell are we all synched up on-line? I SWEAR the painters just came in this morning? This is...this is...too freaky.

Now, hand me a damn 3 Musketeers or I take off that hand, buster!!!

I..*sob*...didn't mean it....*sniff*...I just....
GOD I FEEL SO FAT!! I HATE MYSELF!!!

::praying for menopause::

I was about to correct the artist thing too, s.pisaster. I'll disagree with your idea (and bash) of the artist's intentions, the deep and meaningful part. Wim Delvoye is quite an interesting artist, if not only for his weirdness. He has tattooed pigs and a guy, both are for sale. I think the guy's is already bought though.

" I read recently that having a diet high in sugar other simple carbs dampens the libido."

Or it just makes you fat, smelly, and tired, and nobody wants to fuck you.