Holy crap, I’m officially Team Suri now. In fact, I want to steal her and raise her as my own. Can I get in trouble for saying that? (Evil Beet)
I think I smell a new blog coming! “White Stuff Kayne West Likes.” (WIMB)
And on a not totally unrelated note, white people love: Self Aware Hip Hop References. Fo’ shizzle. (SWPL)
Well, I personally think it’s about damn time we made ugly interior design against the law. (QuizLaw)
The always wonderful (and completely adorable) Jerms is going to let us pay him to strip down to his underpants. Oh, come on, it’s for cancer! (NotesOnBarNapkins)
Isaac Hayes and Bernie mac were both honored in memorial services over the weekend in Memphis and Chicago, respectively. (Celebitchy) & (NY Times)
These will make you feel less bad about that stupid tribal band you got when you were 19. Right TK? Hee hee! (cityrag)
I agree with the cuteness factor on little Xenu there, but just to be sure - is it at puberty or at the age of eighteen when she develops tentacles and sheds her human husk, revealing her true form? And is it true she eats her creators, or does she make a journey back to the womb, creating a host body in which she continues to incubate before destroying us all?
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at August 19, 2008 3:58 PM
I am gonna beat your ass, Nosek.
And lest we forget... I know a little something about you, missy.
Posted by: TK at August 19, 2008 3:59 PM
Oh shit.
I'm totally kidding guys, TK has the sexiest, manliest, most awesomest tattoos ever. For serious!!
The best part of the Gold-Box selection: the "Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought" section. What a surprise, it's all gay porn.
Do you suppose our over-macho visitors of a few months ago use these "nude partner stretch" videos to convince themselves that, hey, we're just working out here. Nothin' gay goin' on. Nuttin' gay. Nuttin' ... aw forget it.
Also, I had the same reaction to the trampoline competition as Galley Slaves -- is trampoline the ghetto of the gymnast's world?
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 19, 2008 4:13 PM
Oh, Stacey darling, please don't tell me you just called out TK. He has zombies on his side! ZOMBIES! Be careful Stace.
And also, thanks for helping me out with the fundraising. For those of you wondering, YES, I will be in my undies, and if you guys donate enough money for cancer, I will take sexy pics! Yay sexy pics! Anyways, anything you guys give helps.
TK - Does your info have anything to do with the earthworm story? Hmm...
Posted by: Riles at August 19, 2008 4:21 PM
RE Teenwolf video: Oh yeah! Basketball players in SHORT SHORTS! WHOO-HOO! I've been boycotting basketball until they go back to wearing short shorts. I hate those baggy ass polygamy dresses the current crop of basketball players wear.
Posted by: BWeaves at August 19, 2008 4:29 PM
If any of you all happen to make a trip to Memphis, skip Graceland and hit the Stax Museum, where the Isaac Hayes memorial was held. It's a fantastic museum, a fantastic story AND you get to see Isaac Hayes' car, which was BOSS!
BTW, I once shook hands with Isaac Hayes and the man oozed cool. He was walking cool. He was so cool that any cool metaphor I come up with won't be cool enough. And his car... BOSS!
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 19, 2008 5:01 PM
Glad you asked Lonna!
Obviously, a mosaic is artwork created with small pieces of colored glass, pebbles or other materials. Heck, on occasion, I've even used chicken bones and human teeth (although I can't tell you where I got the teeth - top secret!).
The direct method of mosaic construction involves directly adhering the individual pieces onto a supporting surface with a three-dimensional quality, such as vases, keepsake boxes, or mummified remains (again, top secret on that one!).
The only disadvantage is that you've got to work directly at the chosen surface, which is often not practical for long periods of time. It's also unsuitable for large scale projects - I recently worked on a buffalo carcass and wouldn't you know it - the darn thing rotted through before I could finish it! See you later, 23,481 acrylic fingernails! Better luck next time...
Stay creative!
Jeremy
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at August 19, 2008 5:09 PM
I did know the earthworm was a hermaphrodite, all thanks to www.sundancechannel.com/greenporno .
My love for Isabella Rossellini also went up tenfold...
Posted by: Noxbu at August 19, 2008 5:12 PM
Actually posted: "There is no way J Lo could out-eat Michael Phelps:"
Lordhelmet sees: "There is no way J Lo could eat out Michael Phelps"
Lordhelmet thinks: "well, duh, that's not the way it works. And I'd certainly hope there's no way Michael Phelps would eat out J Lo because that's just wrong. High-maintenance low-talent egomaniacal diva bride of Skeletor, carrier of the spawn of Skeletor...not exactly the breakfast of champions an 8-time gold medalist would need. Geez, nasty! Shit, now my brain hurts and my stomach's churning! Next post, please!"
(Lordhelmet re-reads post and article)
Oh, that's ok then.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 5:12 PM
Jeremy is this a veiled attempt to reach out to David and shake that thing interwebly? Cuz if so...for shame! Shame on you for abusing the poor purity of the intertubes!
(psst...if it works, though...lemme know...fantastic idea...I got a couple people I can try it on...)
Ahem...TK good buddy...it's nice to see you back to your old tricks. I have to tell you though...I had nothing to do with what was going on in those other threads. What juicy details do you have bout Stacey
Are we still calling her J-Lo? I completely forgot she was even still alive. Coulda sworn we got rid of her already. But she's right...we should be paying attention to her olympic gold medals...oh, that's right...YOU DON'T HAVE SHIT, BITCH!
Damnit. I hate little kids. But that Suri is so Godtopusdaned cute. It's like I'm being sucked into her cuteness and adorably sweetnessadadfae c qa gq...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 19, 2008 5:17 PM
Lordhelmet,
Any way you look at it, J Lo is beneath Michael Phelps.
Wait...
J Lo can't touch Michael Phelps?
Michael Phelps brings J Lo to her knees?
Oh, forget it.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 19, 2008 5:56 PM
J Lo can't get a rise out of Phelps? Phelps refuses get J Lo wet? Phelps took a look at J Lo and said "Oh, fuck it" ? To which J Lo said "I already did" ? J Lo couldn't blow Michael Phelps...away? Michael Phelps wouldn't touch J Lo with a 7" pole?
You really shouldn't have started that..
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 6:13 PM
er, dammit, that should read "Phelps refuses to get J Lo wet". I'm just going to sit in the corner here and practice my proofreading.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 6:18 PM
What could TK possibly have on our "Salty Slavemaster"? I wonder...
I've heard things, terrible, disturbing things...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 19, 2008 6:23 PM
Michael Phelps wouldn't even stick a toe in J Lo's pool.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 19, 2008 6:28 PM
J Lo just couldn't entice Phelps to let go and dive in.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 6:37 PM
Even though he eats over 12,000 calories a day, Michael Phelps still can't stomach J Lo.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 19, 2008 6:48 PM
As hungry as she is for some sausage, Phelps asks J Lo "where's the beef"?
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 6:51 PM
I know that last one isn't about sex, but that doesn't make it any less true.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 19, 2008 6:53 PM
J Lo wants to play watersports with Michael Phelps, but he'd rather just piss all over her.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 19, 2008 7:02 PM
I could paraphrase Achoo's pissed off/pissed on line from Robin Hood: Men In Tights but I'll resist.
Phelps offered to give J Lo some tips on the swimming part of the triathlon, but she mistook him for a poolboy and tried to take him for a ride. He bolted, and ever since then the secret of his speed was imagining J Lo was chasing him..
Slim, sadly, the only person to best dish the dirt on Salty Slavemaster Nosek is Salty Slavemaster Nosek herself. TK, care to elaborate or give any teasers?
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 7:19 PM
Damn right J Lo, who gives a fuck about a homo swimmer. Soon the Olympics will be over and Phelps can go swim from New York to fire Island for all I give a fuck. Half of you sons of bitches are scared of pussy anyway.
Posted by: Pookie at August 19, 2008 7:19 PM
Wouldn't it be freakin' cool if we could get Jer-bear some nice MurderTank briefs to wear for his run?
Now, as you were...
By the way, I heard J. Lo offered to spit-polish Phelps' goggles for him, but he wasn't interested.
Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 19, 2008 7:29 PM
J Lo asked Phelps if her ass was too jiggly, he took one look and saw nothing but Gigli!
Hey, anyone know if the PajibaMap can be made to work in Google Earth?
[welcome to the game, meaux]
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 7:30 PM
Pffft! Slim, you don't know shit!
And yes, being that I am shameless and have almost no dignity to speak of, I usually do provide the best fodder about myself. Not this time! You guys will have to use your imaginations on this one.
Hey guys, you hear how every full moon Nosek runs around the neighbourhood naked except for a pair of Mickey Mouse ears and a Grouch Marx nose singing the Macarena at full volume, and it's all caught on tape??
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 7:45 PM
Close, but not quite, Pith Helmet.
Despite Stacey's transgression today, her secret remains, for now, safe.
But you are officially on notice, Salty. One more strike and it's clobberin' time.
Posted by: TK at August 19, 2008 8:09 PM
Or that every tuesday, she can be found disguising herself as a drag queen in order to steal mittens from the elderly so that she can knit tea-cosies for women in New Zealand? Never understimate the imagination of a Pajiban, Stacey!
On a side note, thank you to Dustin and Drake for the contributions. And if anyone knows where I can find a pair of Pajiba Murdertank bum-huggers, please let me know! Thanks for the idea, MO!
Posted by: Jeremy at August 19, 2008 8:10 PM
Nosek runs around the neighbourhood naked except for a pair of Mickey Mouse ears and a Grouch Marx nose singing the Macarena at full volume,
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 19, 2008 7:45 PM
-------------------------------------------
I heard the same thing, except, she was wearing a viking helmet.
True story
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 19, 2008 8:24 PM
Oh, and that she shot a man in Reno..
...just to watch him die.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 19, 2008 8:26 PM
I heard she shot the sheriff...and the deputy.
Posted by: jM at August 19, 2008 8:38 PM
I once saw her scissor-kick Angela Lansbury.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 19, 2008 8:46 PM
I heard she has a fourth nipple. Heh heh, freak.
Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 19, 2008 8:55 PM
They say she's the ghostwriter for Glitter.
Posted by: jM at August 19, 2008 8:56 PM
She's the last cylon...
Posted by: I Love Beets at August 19, 2008 8:58 PM
Nosek killed the fifth Beatle.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 19, 2008 8:59 PM
(DRUNKS) I'M LEGALLY RETARDED.
That's only funny for people who saw Alec Baldwin on SNL
Posted by: Jeremy at August 19, 2008 9:07 PM
She is Rosebud.
Posted by: jM at August 19, 2008 9:17 PM
I can't believe I almost missed StaceyFacts(TM)
LitelySalted isn't just a screenname. It is how Nosek likes her enemies.
I heard that the sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, and dickheads all adore Nosek. They think she's a righteous dude.
Posted by: Julie at August 19, 2008 9:54 PM
TK, I warned you about the pithy nickname. I'd hate to have to pull out my tommy gun and unleash a little acute lead poisoning on you...consider yourself on notice, too.
Jessica this website if for the discussion of movies, nothing more. It is truly sad when cougars come here looking for young men to promote debauchery, please do not cast pajiba into a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah.
There's a rumor going around that she's supposed to be the fifth face on Rushmore. Again, that's just a rumor...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at August 20, 2008 8:05 AM
Stacey was the twentieth hijacker...
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 20, 2008 8:24 AM
OK, if you really must know...
Stacey knows where Waldo is... all the time.
Posted by: TK at August 20, 2008 8:44 AM
You people are insane. This is what I come into in the morning? Pah...I need more coffee...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 20, 2008 8:55 AM
This one time, Stacey Nosek punched me in the face. It was awesome.
(Fine, fine, I get the message. No adding spambot-style comments to my posts, even in clear jest. I still think deleting it was a tad OTT...)
Posted by: Shay at August 20, 2008 9:32 AM
(Fine, fine, I get the message. No adding spambot-style comments to my posts, even in clear jest. I still think deleting it was a tad OTT...)
Posted by: Shay at August 20, 2008 9:32 AM
They're fighting spambots with anti-spambots. You just got caught in the crossfire. Consider yourself collateral damage.
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 20, 2008 9:59 AM
The sky is blue because it reflects Stacey's eyes.
Posted by: jM at August 20, 2008 10:08 AM
Now I feel kind of stupid because these are all so much cooler than the actual secret -- although, I can actually drink a bottle of wine just by looking at it.
Stay strong, Stacey. The reality of secrets is never more interesting than what people conjure up in their stead. Besides, women with secrets are sexy!
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 20, 2008 10:21 AM
Oh yeah, this one's super sexy.
[snortle]
Posted by: TK at August 20, 2008 10:46 AM
Ok, I got it then, Nosek has a tattoo that says "Mohter" on her arm.
Those were some great guesses though guys, way to rise to the occasion!
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 20, 2008 10:54 AM
Oh yeah, this one's super sexy.
It better be. She is Victoria's secret.
Posted by: jM at August 20, 2008 11:02 AM
Nosek has a tattoo that says "Mohter" on her arm
Was that intentional? Because it would be ten times more awesome if "Mother" were actually mis-spelled. (sp?)
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 20, 2008 11:55 AM
The tattoo on Stacey's arm is her mohter. Hallmark had to immediately set fire to all of their Mother's Day cardstock, and the people who conceived of them.
Posted by: insertclevernamehere at August 20, 2008 12:04 PM
Please people, Stacey's tattoo is much more embarrassing than that! It's a picture of Paris Hilton cuddling Stacey's dogs--and the tattoo is, of course, located in the tramp stamp spot.
Posted by: tamatha at August 20, 2008 1:01 PM
The Teen Wolf clip leaves out "Give me... a keg... of beer." I'm sad.
Posted by: lawnjart at August 20, 2008 1:38 PM
Yes socalled, the misspelling on my part was intentional as I figured that would be a great reason to be a tad embarrassed about a tattoo. Only slightly less embarrassing than misspelling your significant other's name, though. Hey, maybe that's her secret! Maybe it says "Daivd" by mistake, in really big letters!
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 20, 2008 1:45 PM
Fay is coming back to visit Florida because Stacey waved at someone. Thanks ever so fucking much.
Posted by: Kris at August 20, 2008 2:20 PM
It was Nosek, in the Study, with the Revolver.
Posted by: jM at August 20, 2008 2:34 PM
The Teen Wolf clip leaves out "Give me... a keg... of beer." I'm sad.
True story: I was seven years old when Teen Wolf came out, and I don't have older siblings, so I didn't know shit about alcohol. I thought he was saying "Give me... a cake... of beer".
I agree with the cuteness factor on little Xenu there, but just to be sure - is it at puberty or at the age of eighteen when she develops tentacles and sheds her human husk, revealing her true form? And is it true she eats her creators, or does she make a journey back to the womb, creating a host body in which she continues to incubate before destroying us all?