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Pajiba Love 08/08/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

BACONATOR.jpg

Pajiba Love

Finally, what I know you’ve all been waiting for — a product review of the Baconator! (The Impulsive Buy)

With reviews like this, I may just convert into a comic book geek yet! (Slowly Going Bald)

Lionsgate has teamed up with the Red Cross for a massive blood drive to tie in with the new Saw movie, which will probably save hundreds of lives. On the downside? There’s going to be a new Saw movie. (Agent Bedhead)

But this — this just takes torture porn to a whole new level — and if you ask me, the human race is just not ready to go there. (Gallery of the Absurd)

What better time to let your prejudice and ignorance spill from your stupid halfwit skull than while being filmed for a nationally televised reality show? Brilliant! (Metadish)

Wow. “The Wire” creator David Simon has even more contempt for middle America than we here at Pajiba do. If that’s even possible. (A Special Way of Being Afraid)

Sarah Jessica Parker’s new perfume smells like raw testosterone with a hint of lavender. (Yeeeah!)

It’s a little early to be talking Oscars — but we do love our Top 10 Lists, so here are the Top 10 Movie Stars That Oscar Refuses To Love. (The Film Experience)

If you’re going to fake a slip and fall, at least pick a believable foil, such as a banana peel or bag of spilled marbles. (QuizLaw)

Do you love breakdancing? How about child star Alfonso Ribeiro? If you answered yes to both those questions, do I have the clip for you — after the jump!

Pajiba Love | August 8, 2007 | Comments (14)


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Comments

If you listen closely, you can hear Manny achieving orgasm after reading the baconator review.

I didn't think I could love The Wire any more than I already do (seriously - it's one of two shows I watch, and it might be the best show I've ever seen)... but that interview cements it for me.

Posted by: TK at August 8, 2007 3:59 PM

Oh. My. God. Breakdancing from a book. That's the best thing I've ever seen. Ever. Ever. Ever. If I were to transcribe every comment I made during that clip it would take hours.

I feel my crush of the moment would appreciate this beyond words. He must be shown!

Thanks litely! You've given me the excuse to speak to a very cute, breakdancing geek and have hence made my day!

Posted by: Alex the Odd at August 8, 2007 4:07 PM

[*and . . . cue outrage from flyover country*]

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 8, 2007 4:11 PM

So, litely, I swear at first I thought that was an old Michael Jackson video, and here was my reaction to the tag in the upper left corner:

Great for all ages!

[but prefers 8-to-12-year-old boys.]

And TK, from what movie does this reaction to your comment, um, come?

"Agh, I can't know that!"

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 8, 2007 4:16 PM

Firefly.

If you want to stump me, you shouldn't choose a movie I've seen about 50 times that's based on a TV series that I love and praise.

Posted by: TK at August 8, 2007 4:22 PM

Get out of the way! Nobody should get between a rotund Puerto Rican and his artery-clogging death wad! Move, people, move!

Y: The Last Man rules. Brian K. Vaughn rules. Anyone who likes it rules. That is all.

"Crush of the moment"? You mean, there are others? Vermillion SMASH PUNY COMPETITION!!!

Funnily enough, Alfonso Ribeiro is probably more gangsta than most rappers and such, seeing as how he is from Washington Heights. I wonder how many would still be laughing at him if they knew Carlton could beat their ass, then dance on their bodies.

Posted by: Vermillion at August 8, 2007 4:26 PM

In regards to David Simon's Pajibaesqe attitudes, in one of the DVD sets of The Wire (might be in The Corner but I don't think so) there is video of a Q&A session somewhere in NY during which he makes to very interesting observations:
1. When discussing reading, and specifically of investigative journalism, he mentions how his Homicide book sold next to nothing until after the TV show came out - because no one reads
2. In discussing NY vs. Baltimore, crime and prosperity wise, he mentions how in the previous year the 3 Law & Order shows had more murders than NY actually did.

Posted by: Brian at August 8, 2007 5:11 PM

Okay, it's actually from Serenity, but I'm not a technicality-douchebag, so we're giving you that one. (I'm a substance-douchebag!)

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 8, 2007 6:33 PM

So many things I love about today's Love. I am complete agreement with the Top 10 list from The Film Experience. I have always thought the lack of nominations for Donald Sutherland, Christian Bale, Mia Farrow, and Dennis Quaid was nothing short of criminal.

And I love the blog entry on Sarah Horsey-Face's new perfume. I've seen the commercial for her perfume twice...and that was two times too many. Not only does she look like crap but the commercial is just randomly set in Paris (even though her perfume does not have a French name) just so she can speak French in the commercial. It's so put-on.

The "poster" from Gallery of the Absurd is truely frightening. I might have nightmares because of that. Gawd, I love that site.

Oh, and one thing that makes me want to vomit. That Baconator burger looks repulsive. I had to scroll past the picture really quickly because I felt my bile rising, my arteries clogging, and my thighs growing bigger. That thing looks truely disgusting.

Posted by: stardust savant at August 8, 2007 10:26 PM

Socalled - Ouch. Busted.

Posted by: TK at August 8, 2007 10:29 PM

I'm soooooo slamming down a couple of Baconators tomorrow DAMN THE CLOGGED ARTERIES AND DAMN THE EXPENSE!!

DAMN THE EXPENSE!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 8, 2007 11:21 PM

Is it wrong that I want to order that tape? My pop-locking could use some work.

Damn, that burger looks good! Maybe b/c I'm so poor this week and anything looks good to me right now. But if just seeing it made Manny reach his...sexual peak, then I'll go without it.

Very clever, BarbadoSlim...or should I say "Bender?" LOL.

Posted by: Brie at August 9, 2007 11:59 AM

Hahahahahahaha...:)

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 9, 2007 1:34 PM

In defense of elitism:

Wow, I think David Simon just boiled down everything that's wrong in entertainment today. It's Jay Leno's humor (over explained) TV shows (overly simple, bland characters) and movie plots (MI2 b/c MI1 was too complicated "movies are hard"). Don't even get me started on Nascar.. Supposedly we have college graduates in this country but you'd never know it looking at our pop culture. Fuck the average viewer indeed..who wants to be average?

Posted by: Amanda47 at August 9, 2007 2:11 PM





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