free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 08/06/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Before The Man finds out and they’re taken down — here are some photos from the filming of Cloverfield or whateverthefuck it’s called now (Campfire) and here is a video containing possible spoilers. (Popoholic)

Tom Cruise has totally forgotten all about his defective adopted children. (Crazy Days and Nights)

Bob Allen alleges that the whole “offering a BJ to an undercover cop” thing was merely a survival tactic — just as one might roll over and play dead during a bear attack. (QuizLaw)

And speaking of man-on-man BJ’s — “Rush Hour” director Brett Ratner got one from tranny. Not that that’s not perfectly normal! (Yeeeah!)

Vermillion’s Lady Pick O’ the Day shares my love of ironic vandalism. (Vermillion’s Brain)

Competitive birthing is apparently the new trend among the affluent. Gah, just what we need — a boom of angry white rich kids. (Feministing)

Anyone wonder what became of “Kip” from Napoleon Dynamite? Before you respond with a resounding NO — he’s making commercials featuring talking Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. Yum! (Slate)

Looks like the Malawian government doesn’t play for keepsies! Sucks to be you, Madonna! (IDLYITW)

If you enjoyed The Bourne Ultimatum this weekend — don’t miss out on the next chapter, after the jump!

Pajiba Love | August 6, 2007 | Comments (25)


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Comments

I adopted my daughter a few years ago. I did it from Russia. For Russian adoption, you make two trips. First trip: you meet the child and the orphanage/government people check you out. On the second trip you actually get to take your child home. There's supposed to be only a couple of weeks between trips. For us, it was almost three months. This was an excruciating experience, one I can barely stand to look back on two years later.

But to have a child home for eight months and then have that child taken away? To have been to an orphanage and know what your child is going back to?

"Sucks to be you, Madonna"? Nice.

Posted by: megbon at August 6, 2007 4:11 PM

Mmmm. Laura and Litely scratching up cars. How...naughty.

Okay, I am back now.

Interesting that the Slate article thinks the Ask.com "chicks with swords" commercial was worse than the "Kato Kaelin" one. Imean, come on, Kato Kaelin?

By the way, did anyone else see that our old friend Tay Zonday and his Chocolate Rain got the Best Week Ever? They are so copying us now.

Posted by: Vermillion at August 6, 2007 4:23 PM

No disrespects intended, Megbon. My cousin, who is impotent (and hopefully never reading this, ahem) and his wife are currently in the process of adopting a child from Russia themselves. And from what I've understood it has been a very long and arduous process for them.

Having said that -- from the very beginning, there have been rumors that Madonna did not acquire that child through the most legitimate of methods. What's more offensive -- Madonna "buying" an orphan, or my callous ridicule of her?

(Well, probably still the latter -- I apologize.)

Posted by: litelysalted at August 6, 2007 4:31 PM

I will freely admit to being a little humorless about this issue, and I'm sorry. But, there's something about international adoption and celebrity where the whole concept gets all jacked up. That said, I don't think it matters who's to blame: "sucks to be you" is... well, let me put it this way, if during that three month period had someone said to me "write me a check and you can take this kid home tomorrow," you're damn right I would have. I'd've mortgaged the farm, sold a kidney, stuck up a liquor store whatever it took. And I wouldn't have felt at all like I was *buying* my child. Also, bear in mind that I doubt the Malawi government is free from corruption. I know we had to bring a few "gifts" with us in Russia. The situation is flawed. And orphanages really do suck.

Posted by: megbon at August 6, 2007 4:48 PM

Bad advertising always amuses me, I mean it's not exactly difficult: if everyone in the focus group recoils with horror then head on back to the drawing board.

That being said I do feel sorry for the poor fucker who got given the task of designing a campaign for vagisil.

I still have no idea who Laura Swisher is but I think I might want to be her when I grow up...

Posted by: Alex the Odd at August 6, 2007 4:54 PM

Bwuh, litely, please don't ever apologize again for mocking Madonna. The pain that individuals who are not Madonna go through during an adoption has nothing to do with your jab -- Madonna, and only Madonna, is the richly-deserving subject of the jab, and the jab is all the more well-placed because she used nefarious means to participate in a despicable celebrity kids-race to see who can acquire the most adorable third-world orphan.

Something bad is happening to a spoiled, bitchy, false-accent-acquiring, desperate-to-be-hip, Britney-kissing, dipshit-political-opinion-spouting, baby-purchasing poser jackass. That's amusing and 100% mock-worthy. I wish that poor kid the best, but schadenfreude at Madonna's expense is nothing to apologize for.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 6, 2007 4:58 PM

Competitive birthing is apparently the new trend among the affluent. Gah, just what we need -- a boom of angry white rich kids.

Please, please, please let this be true. People have been having extra children for questionable reasons for thousands of years -- as an over-40er, my sole reaction to this story is: HELL YES, BUILD THAT YEAR 2032 TAX BASE!

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 6, 2007 5:05 PM

You know, it occurs to me that maybe I was personalizing the entry too much, which really isn't fair to you. But like I said, the concept of international adoption has gotten all jacked up what with all the stories about Madonna and Angelina Jolie and it worries me.

In my own defense, though, I don't think my reaction was so much about me as that it just can't be funny that that little boy is going back to an orphanage. It's a really sad story and mocking it on any level strikes me as unnecessarily mean.

Posted by: megbon at August 6, 2007 5:09 PM

I guess they were wrong: Once you go black, you DO go back.

Posted by: Manny at August 6, 2007 7:14 PM

Dammit, Manny. Stop making me like you.

For the really geeky, you might remember Laura form a little show on TechTV/G4 called Unscrewed with Martin Sargeant.

Like I said, you must be extremely geeky.

Posted by: Vermillion at August 6, 2007 7:21 PM

Her Verm, is that a blog in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Posted by: Manny at August 6, 2007 7:34 PM

Get a room, you two.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 6, 2007 7:50 PM

Socalled, don't be so hostile, if you want to join in, just say so.

Posted by: Vermillion at August 6, 2007 8:03 PM

Yippeee!

Am I really that transparent? (Note that I didn't say "Get a room without me.")

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 6, 2007 8:15 PM

I understand the whole "bitchy people" concept, Litely, but "tranny" is a pretty offensive word for people who already face a lot of discrimination. Pajiba doesn't use degrading words for other minority groups.

I think the commenters on several of my reviews would beg to differ. Sigh. -- DR

Posted by: clocketwatch at August 6, 2007 8:22 PM

Just begging to differ, clocketwatch -- we are among tranny friends here in SF, and they aggressively use the word, including for the mockery of others among them who are not quite, um, Madonna-enough. I think an extremely gay-friendly and other-non-traditional-friendly oriented place like Pajiba gets to use it. Just me talking.

Oh, and they also like "retard," of which I have recently sworn off. And TK told me to use the "n" word.

[Ok, he did say for serious discussions. And it could have been a regular other than TK. Come to think of it, it was probably BarbadoSlim.]

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 6, 2007 9:35 PM

And when I say "they also like 'retard'," I mean Pajiba, not the local trannies, though I think the trannies say that, too. Oops, sorry.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 6, 2007 9:37 PM

Question: As part of the reorg of the old reviews, were the comments turned off?

Question: Can I fire Jim?

Posted by: Brian at August 6, 2007 9:55 PM

I understand what you mean, socalledonlycousins, but many trans people, including me, find the word patronizing and offensive, and some trans people's reclamation of the word doesn't mean nontrans people automatically get a free pass. Especially since the linked blog is using it to imply freakishness, and I'm not keen on the language used in the link itself, either. Not trying to get all language-police, but I wanted to say something.

Posted by: clocketwatch at August 7, 2007 12:31 AM

Megbon, I see your point. And I'm sure the child is better off in Madonna's home than an orphanage. But if people are just able to go and buy babies by slipping some money to the right person, a lot of children will suffer. There are a lot of sickos in the world who have money. I'm not indicating that Madonna abuses her child or anything, but not all billionaires actually want a child to RAISE.

Posted by: superEdna at August 7, 2007 3:12 AM

Socalled your aggressive use of bold text is making my day, just thought you should know.

I have no thoughts on language usage - only that I can get away with most thing in speech because I have a posh British accent and it makes whatever I say sound charming. Seriously, it's like a legal loophole or something.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at August 7, 2007 4:37 AM

Wow, I'm just pressing everybody's buttons with this post, aren't I? Hope there's not any anthropomorphic talking sandwiches out there!

First of all, I thought that the linked blog was to imply Brett Ratner being a douchenozzle, not the "freakishness" of a particular subculture.

Second of all, you guys really shouldn't take anything I say to heart, because I'm just an idiot vying for your attention. Seriously -- I'd smear poo on myself and do the Electric Slide if I thought it might get me a laugh.

Posted by: litelysalted at August 7, 2007 6:42 AM

"Hope there's not any anthropomorphic talking sandwiches out there!"

Damnit, litely you rumbled me!

Posted by: Alex the Odd at August 7, 2007 7:21 AM

"Bob Allen alleges that the whole "offering a BJ to an undercover cop" thing was merely a survival tactic -- just as one might roll over and play dead during a bear attack."

Well I for one, thought at least this was particularly awesome.

Posted by: lizzy at August 7, 2007 10:29 AM

Um, I just need to say that I'm incorporating "douchenozzle" into my vocabulary forthwith. Thank you, litely. I feel like I've learned something very important today.

Posted by: kalexal at August 7, 2007 2:07 PM