free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 08/04/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Who wants a televised sequel to “Full House?” Be still my throbbing gag reflex! (WIMB)

Oh please, please, please, let Nancy Grace get raked over the mothereffing coals for this! (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Skip Caray, the broadcaster for the Atlanta Braves, has passed away. And since apparently I’ve shamed Dustin out of posting sports-related stories on our gossip blog (seriously though, let’s keep it that way buddy) I thought the least I could do was give the guy some love over here. (QuizLaw)

One of the first rules I was given about Pajiba Love was to avoid personal stories, like “people talking about their cats and stuff.” How many times have I broken this now? (Gospel According to Prisco)

Morgan Freeman was involved in a serious accident last night, but it looks like he’s going to be OK. We love you Morgan, get better soon! (Yeeeah!)

There’s a new August theme over at Blog Me a Tale. Go show your love! (BMAT)

Huh. I had no idea there was such a complicated infrastructure to the bear subculture. Learn something new everyday! (MixTapeTherapy)

The twin messiahs have arrived, so now can we all just ooh and aaah and never talk about them again? Seriously, these have been trying times for pop culture writers. (The Blemish)

It’s international music day over at Music is the Message. Really though? No Pizzicato Five? Hmph. (MITM)

Kathy Hilton is pissed at McCain for the potshot at her daughter because she donated almost five grand to his campaign. Oh whatever, five grand to a Hilton is like the change I threw into the bin at the Wawa. (Celebitchy)

If websites came with warning labels, what would Pajiba’s be? I’m not even touching this shit — mini diversion it up yourselves. (Cracked)

I was just about to wrap up today’s Love when a coworker sent this to me. Pretty much the best use of an index card I’ve ever seen. (Indexed)

Holy crap! Did anyone else know they were turning Get Your War On, only my favorite web comic of all time, into an animated series? Check it, after the jump.

Pajiba Love | August 4, 2008 | Comments (34)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Re: Get Your War On The Animated Series.

That is the single biggest waste of my fucking time since I had to sit through South Park: Bigger Longer Uncut THREE times because my then girlfriend wanted her friends to see it. Only thing that made it worthwhile was after the third runthrough we had a semi-huge orgy.

This animated series is worse then the ethnic cleansing in the former Yugoslavia and even more pointless.

Could the due behind this be ANY more of a money whore??!

Posted by: The Dude at August 4, 2008 3:54 PM

Put simply, Margaret, it's a process of creating fabric from yarn or thread using a crochet hook (from the Middle French word croc or croche, meaning hook - betcha didn't know that!). Crocheting, similar to knitting, consists of pulling loops of yarn through other loops. Stitches are made by pulling one or more loops through each loop of the chain. At any one time at the end of a stitch, there is only one loop left on the hook, at which point, I like to pour myself a shot of good hootch.

Tunisian crochet, however, draws all of the loops for an entire row onto a long hook before working them off one at a time. I like the Tunisian method, but I find that I can get a heckuva lot drunker if I follow the traditional method.

Either way, if you're making some sort of seasonal wrist-cuffs, or asphyxiation noose, you'll find that crochet produces a thicker fabric than knitting, and tends to have less "give" than knitted fabric. And believe me, if you're planning on keeping one or more hobos captive in your pickling cellar, less give offers a whole lot more!

I can't wait to see the photos of your new "roommates"! Until then, Crochet is A-OK!

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at August 4, 2008 4:02 PM

Great. Not only did I post on the wrong site, I'm accompanied by a troll and a SpamBot with an unpronounceable name...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at August 4, 2008 4:15 PM

"This animated series is worse then the ethnic cleansing in the former Yugoslavia and even more pointless."

HA! That's so true! Ah, Dude, remember when we used to just snuggle together, drinking wine spritzers and thinking up really stupid, inane, puerile things that we would post on internet message boards because we have no lives? Man, I miss those times. I miss you.

I'm so glad I found you here. But as you well know, I can smell the sent of asshole from quite a distance, and you are one distinctive asshole, darling.

Posted by: I Love The Dude at August 4, 2008 4:20 PM

What the hell just happened?

Posted by: Kolby at August 4, 2008 4:35 PM

Hmm...Skitt's right. Feiyi? Really? You guys aren't even trying anymore. And as for the Pajiba warning, I always thought it would go something like...

Warning: You're not good enough to read this site. Who the fuck do you think you are? You watch Grey's Anatomy, for fuck's sake. GREY'S ANATOMY. You know what? Fuck it. Do yourself a favour. Turn off your computer, go turn on the TV, and watch some Two and a Half Men. You don't deserve to read Pajiba.

Bitch.

Posted by: Jeremy at August 4, 2008 4:42 PM

Weirdest...PL...Ever.

I heard about Morgan's accident earlier today. I'm glad that he's alright. He's one of the few we can't lose.

I thought the Scathy and Bitchy part of the title was warning label enough.

Loving those index cards. I need to make me some up and spread the love around.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 4, 2008 4:43 PM

I take that back. Jeremy's label is perfect. Can we get that on the next Tshirt?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 4, 2008 4:46 PM

I agree wholeheartedly on the Full House reunion. Joey lived in that alcove way too long for that to be a "just friends" arrangement. But wasn't Jesse in on it, too? I always thought Becky was his beard.

Posted by: Brie at August 4, 2008 4:50 PM

Oh, by the way, The Dude is Ben -- if you haven't figured that out. Hi, Benhole!

Posted by: Stacey at August 4, 2008 4:58 PM

I was wondering where'd he'd gotten to. It was too much to hope he'd get tired of being a troll and leave.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 4, 2008 5:05 PM

BenDude hasn't gotten any cleverer. Or braver. He never accepted my invitation to bring his awelessness to a genuine rough site.

Pussy.

Posted by: Jerce at August 4, 2008 5:17 PM

Can't be Ben - otherwise there would have been a lot more use of the words shitcaked, cakeholes, encrusted shitcakes, cakecrusties, and asscakeshitters. The Dude uses none of these terms. Case closed bitches. It's probably Conrad drunk on wine coolers and trying to fit in...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at August 4, 2008 5:19 PM

The new word of the day is cakefarts, Skitt

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 4, 2008 5:20 PM

RIP Skip

Posted by: sansho1 at August 4, 2008 5:26 PM

Beautiful, Jeremy! Just beautiful.

Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 4, 2008 5:36 PM

If I had to put a warning on Pajiba, it'd be the same warning I gave a delurker a while back:

"Yesterday I suggested doodling a demon sharting brain-dead sperm into a wonk-eyed dumpster. This place changes you..."

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at August 4, 2008 5:39 PM

That Mix Tape Therapy site says:

Bear - a hairy man with a stocky or heavyset build and facial hair. Can be clean shaven and of any age.

and:

Panda bear - a bear of Asian ethnicity. A panda cub is younger version. Usually hairless.

So...I just have yellow fever...for gay guys? I don't think this will make my mother feel any better.

Posted by: jM at August 4, 2008 5:45 PM

I resent Ms. Bitchy's comments on "tweaker" gays. Sorry if you can't fit into the fashions, hon, but the rest of can.

And bears should just be called what they really are: pigs.

Posted by: Kyle at August 4, 2008 6:26 PM

As I've posted previously, my computer has some inbuilt hostility to DeusExMalcontent. If I try to link to it from here or just type in the URL, the whole computer freezes and won't even respond to a CtrlAltDel command. However, I loathe Nancy Grace so I must know what has happened. Will somebody please let me know?

Skittimus:

I just love your handicrafts digressions. They catch me unawares every single time. Keep it up.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 4, 2008 6:34 PM

However, I loathe Nancy Grace so I must know what has happened. Will somebody please let me know?

Chez was discussing the recent ruling that allowed a lawsuit against Grace and CNN to continue. The lawsuit is from the family of a woman whom Grace hounded on her show, which the family believes led to her suicide.

Of course Morgan Freeman is okay. The universe would not be that cruel. When he goes, it will be peaceful, in his sleep, whispering "Motherfucker".

Yes, I am still on that. It was just too awesome.

Pajiba warning message: Thick skin zone. Not for the faint of ....well.....anything, really.

Or this one: Welcome to Pajiba. By clicking yes, you agree, in the event that a significant number of commenters don't like you, you will take your punishment like a grown ass man (actual gender notwithstanding) and not cry and whine like a punk ass b-tch (actual gender and/or penchant for crying notwithstanding) when they shove a HTML-coded size 12 steel-toed boot in your back door.

Answer boxes:

Yes Yes Yes Getting the picture, buddy?

Posted by: Vermillion at August 4, 2008 7:04 PM

To Commenter Kyle,

Shut the fuck up you whiny bitch, and back off of Ms. Mix and Bitch. She's more real than any of your popper-lovin', disco dancing, gender confusion crowd will ever be.

SHe also has great taste in, um, GOOD music.

Posted by: Frank at August 4, 2008 7:18 PM

Morgan Freeman is one of the good guys in Hollywood, I pray he pulls through.

Posted by: Pookie at August 4, 2008 7:56 PM

So you want a warning label? Picture: Nathan Fillion. Text: You must be this awesome to ride - or at least know how to tussle textually with those around you to fool them into thinking you are intelligent.

Posted by: Goldie at August 4, 2008 7:59 PM

I heard Freeman shot a man in Reno....just to watch him die.


TRUE STORY.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 4, 2008 8:05 PM

Pookie just said something nice. Ben apparently has two aliases he is using to post and respond to himself. And Skit? Skit's ridin' the crazy train y'all.

Pull it together, people! And don't make me have to come in here again.

*storms off-slamming the door*

Posted by: greer at August 4, 2008 8:07 PM

This.Is.Freemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Posted by: Pookie at August 4, 2008 9:02 PM

Why thank you, SOD honey. Though if we put it on a shirt, we would probably have to change it around a bit, so it's like a big fuck you to the slimy pervo-shlubbs who don't understand what the fuck "NO" means.

Kyle, Frank, play nice now. I may be a twink, but I still have a soft spot for the bears (it all depends on my mood).

And Pooks darling, did you just say something nice? I knew you had it in you! But you're right, Morgan Freeman is charming, and I hope he's okay.

Posted by: Jeremy at August 4, 2008 9:10 PM

The only reason I'm saying something nice is because he's a brother, albeit from a different mother. But a brother none the less. Besides, some people got offended when I made a funny about the guy that got beheaded on the Greyhound bus. I just want to show the people that pookie can be sensitive. Gotta go now, House Hunters is about to come on, I hope they got some black people on there tonight.

Posted by: Pookie at August 4, 2008 9:47 PM

We love you Skip. You will be missed by millions. Rest in Peace.

Posted by: Bravesfan459 at August 5, 2008 4:24 AM

We love you Skip. You will be missed by millions. Rest in Peace.

Posted by: Bravesfan459 at August 5, 2008 4:26 AM

Skit! you're a hooker!

Skit is a hooker and B-slim is back (and I think Pookie made it happen to scare the shit out of TK).

Excellent.

I'm in Pajiven.

Posted by: general rhubarb at August 5, 2008 7:11 AM

I would like to take this opportunity to publicly say Fuck Nancy Grace. I have never understood why she is on the air. And I hope when she goes down in flames, she takes Rita Cosby with her 'cuz I can't stand her fucking voice. Is she still on the air? I don't even know.

But, man, Chez uses some big words that don't compute with my public school/state university edumacation.

Posted by: wsapnin at August 5, 2008 11:23 AM

To Kyle and Frank,

You know, when I had fantasies of two men fighting over me, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

And if you two keep this up, people will say you're in love...

Posted by: Ms. Mix & Bitch at August 5, 2008 11:49 AM