free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 07/28/08 | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

It’s like Hannibal Lecter’s first brush with the law all over again. (QuizLaw)

Britney Spears might be making her serious film actress debut starring in a movie about a woman who was brutally raped and murdered. Ummm… Where’s the punchline? No really, somebody help me out here. (WIMB)

Shia LeBeouf is gradually making his transformation into “Boy Lindsay Lohan.” (The Blemish)

Bits and pieces: what do Wendy’s, John McCain, Elizabeth Berkley and Sarah Jessica Parker have in common? (Deus Ex Malcontent)

So is it just like a faux paus these days for a celebrity couple to not have twins? I can just see them snickering: “Did you hear so and so is only having one baby?” Yeah, she conceived by sex with her husband. So passe! (Celebitchy)

Some pros and cons of having the first ever superhero film as an Academy Award Best Picture. (Film Experience)

David Lynch, I fucking love you. Not your movies particularly, but you? Are an all-around awesome dude. Which would be a compliment except that I think I just used that exact same phrase to describe Jared Padalecki. (Serious Eats)

Songs named after women. I can already see the mini-div forming below. (MITM)

As a follow-up to the previously linked POV Horror Guide: here is “Put down the camera!” — a montage. (FourFour)

Madonna, as always, is one step ahead of everyone fashion-wise. Her latest, chameleon-like transformation? The old hag who took plastic surgery too far. Well played, Madonna. (Yeeeah!)

“If you’ve never seen a tarsier (pronounced tar-see-a, from the French meaning ‘a small animal called a tarsier’) you’re in for a real treat.” I swear, I don’t even have to come up with any cute or funny link captions when I link here. (AnimalReview)

Cold and lonely nights starting to make you somewhat nostalgic for Loser Patrol? Well snap the hell out of it! (MixTapeTherapy)

Thanks to Sarina, here is a hilarious viral marketing site. KY Jelly wants to know: are you British in bed? (AreYouBritishinBed)

At the risk of reliving my “I has a bucket” embarrassment from Friday (so maybe not everyone saw it five years ago, OK?!) Sarina also sent me this classic clip. Yes, it’s old. Yes, you may have seen it before. But if you did? Shut up and enjoy it again.

Pajiba Love | July 28, 2008 | Comments (34)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.









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Comments

Well, a staff member might as well get this party started right:

The Dark Knight for Best Picture?? Iron Man was a tighter, better movie, and I don't think there's any way it gets nominated. Why does $314 million equal Oscar buzz?

Posted by: JMW at July 28, 2008 3:37 PM

I think it's less about the film or the money and more about the whole "famous actor killed by his role" thing. The only question is why the hell Brandon Lee wasn't nominated for an Oscar after The Crow, following the same logic.

Posted by: the_wakeful at July 28, 2008 3:52 PM

So the backlash begins here, then?

Hell, I only knew Lolcats had a name and were a thing, rather than some random jokes I'd seen a few times, let alone that they came from "the Lolrus". I got a message on a mailing list with "Schroedinger's Lolcat" saying "Funniest Lolcat Ever!"

"What's a Lolcat?" I asked myself.

I first saw this on New Year's Eve so it's ancient, but I quite enjoyed "The Laugh Out Loud Cats: The True History"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qtqeNUW2L1s

And really, that walrus just doesn't get old, nor (for me anyway) other animals who mention the bucket.

Noo, nooo, more of the funny show! With the little things hitting each other! THAT'S WHAT I LIKE! LITTLE THINGS! HITTING EACH OTHER!!

Posted by: Jay at July 28, 2008 4:03 PM

I don't know how or why, but apparently I'm 70% Taiwanese in bed...

I guess that means I'm cheap, flexible, and prone to playing with imported plastic toys...

Posted by: boo at July 28, 2008 4:10 PM

83% Brazilian. I suppose this means I smell like coconut oil and host bitchin amateur sex parties.

Posted by: mella at July 28, 2008 4:24 PM

Shia LeBoeuf is Boy Lindsay Lohan? Does this mean he's coming out of the closet soon?

Jay: You know I come here to conquer Italy, because I thought they were all small. You know, I hear they was really tiny guys...

Posted by: jeem at July 28, 2008 4:39 PM

I bet The Dark Knight gets the nod simply because it'll up the ratings for the Oscar telecast. The film was enjoyable, but really - the movie was not that well-written ("It's always darkest before the dawn"? Really?), you could see the plot points coming from outside the theater, and the last third of the movie took a huge nose-dive in story quality.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at July 28, 2008 4:40 PM

I'm 52% Russian in bed. I'm now picturing myself licking vodka from a guy's neck while listening to Rachmaninoff and wearing Trotsky-esque glasses and a parka. Sweet.

Posted by: Julie at July 28, 2008 4:45 PM

OH! I'm 94% French! I gave the most boring answers. What does that say about the French?

I hope that Britney Spears movie never gets made. It's wrong for so many reasons.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 28, 2008 4:47 PM

...The hell? I'm 97% Prague in the sack. I guess I spend my time trying to pass off shoddily-made counterfeit jeans as the brand-name item whilst drunk on bathtub hootch.

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at July 28, 2008 4:53 PM

86% Congolese?

Well, they got the continent right, which is... kind of creepy, actually.

Posted by: TK at July 28, 2008 4:53 PM

TK- that was just a coincidence. I'm 60% Congolese, and I've never been near the Congo. And I'm about the palest shade of pale you can get.

Posted by: tamatha at July 28, 2008 4:59 PM

Excuse me, Skittimus, but based on my extensive knowledge of gay porn, "97% Prague" is better interpreted as "mesmerizingly and breathtakingly gorgeous in every physical respect, yet somehow unconvincing when it comes time for the real action".

Posted by: jeem at July 28, 2008 4:59 PM

Best song about a girl: M-M-M-My Sharona.

56% Italian. I guess that means I have a hairy upper lip and prone to a wide bush? But if I look 56% as good as Sophia Loren at her age, I'll be happy and one hot old chick in the sack.

Posted by: wsapnin at July 28, 2008 5:03 PM

Not to derail the sexual nationality train here, but did anyone catch this comment on the Space Chimps review?

"Hi, I wanted to say Spacechimps was so horrible i wanted to gag! But at my website I'll be writing a review. At www .mightynick. com

Please visit the site. Methinks Pajiba may be a tad too adult for little...erm...mighty nick to be visiting without parental consent. But, how fucking cute is that?

Posted by: ernesto at July 28, 2008 5:21 PM

"Methinks Pajiba may be a tad too adult for little...erm...mighty nick to be visiting without parental consent. But, how fucking cute is that?"

Dude, I can't know stuff like this! I can't be thinking about delicate little 8-year-old psyches being exposed to our levels of depravity! Jesus, we're gonna break that kid and he's gonna end up keeping toes in his freezer or something.

Posted by: Sarina at July 28, 2008 5:35 PM

TDK is not best picture worthy. If they had edited out about 45 minutes then maybe.

Heath Ledger though, even without all of the extra hype for dieing, should be nominated.

Posted by: EricD at July 28, 2008 5:55 PM

Should I be worried that I'm Taiwanese in bed?

What the hell?! I thought I'd get Italian or horny American. *sigh*

Posted by: amanda47 at July 28, 2008 6:03 PM

Well, wouldn't you know, I'm 83% Swedish in bed. Perhaps that explains my Ikea bedroom furniture and getting cheap, vicarious thrills when going commando.

Posted by: kootenay girl at July 28, 2008 6:22 PM

Feh.

56% Brazilian, but there was only one question that was even relevant to me.

Best song named after a woman? "Mona". Obviously.

Posted by: Jay at July 28, 2008 6:38 PM

LOVE Ms. Mix and Bitch's Recipe to Get Over a Loser Ex.

She's right too. And the mix rocks. Thanks for turning me onto her Stacey!

Posted by: Sarah at July 28, 2008 7:28 PM

Ooh la la, 55% French! Magnifique...

Posted by: MO(meaux) at July 28, 2008 7:31 PM

I'm 73% Swedish in bed. Apparently I have no sexual inhibitions. None. Rowr!

Posted by: Kolby at July 28, 2008 8:04 PM

Awww.. 65% French! That makes me waaaay more excited than it should. I guess it's obvious I haven't gotten laid in two weeks, huh?

Posted by: HJ at July 28, 2008 8:05 PM

Also 52% Russian. Soundtrack would be "Night of bald mounting" by the not-so-Modest Mussorgsky...

Posted by: lnx at July 28, 2008 8:08 PM

DA MIXING BITCH IS DA BOMB!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Olga at July 28, 2008 8:30 PM

Hah, Kolby, I'm 90% swedish in bed. We should totally hang out. But I'm pretty sure that Prague is a city, not a country, Skitt, so I wouldn't know what the hell to say to you.

And don't feel bad, Stacey, because every single person ever has seen the IHasABucket thing. It's still hysterical giggle inducing.

Posted by: Jaci at July 28, 2008 9:51 PM

56% Italian. Swanning around the bedroom with a glass - nay! a bottle - of red wine, singing That's Amore, before jumping into bed with a handsome, oiled-up gondola driver who keeps twirling the ends of his Super Mario-esque moustache and feeding me grapes by hand? Too much? Fantastic.

Oh, and best song about a girl? "Stephanie Says" by the Velvet Underground. "Stephanie says that she wants to know why she's given half her life to people she hates now?" Cried to that song all the way from Denver to LA.

Posted by: penny at July 28, 2008 10:28 PM

I'm 70-something percentage-ish Swedish as well. In terms of genetic make-up, I'm actually mostly composed of the Norwegian strain, so yay for being geographically close. Or something.

I suppose that means I like 'em long and cold. Whoa. Unintentional necrophilia. Awesome.

Posted by: Edwina the Magnificent at July 28, 2008 10:57 PM

63% Congolese? Um what? Does this somehow involve the jungle? In the jungle you get pretty sweaty right? And uh...yeah.

Song about a girl? I fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking HATE Boston's "Amanda". And it has nothing to do with the fact that every day of English class my senior year, I was greeted by this dude singing the chorus as I walked to my seat.

"I'm gonna take you by the hand and make you understand, AMANDA."

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Posted by: Alabamapink at July 28, 2008 11:14 PM

79% Russian? Oh lord have mercy...

Posted by: Becky Tri-Tip Goddess at July 29, 2008 12:19 AM

86% panda?...uncanny.

Posted by: jM at July 29, 2008 10:31 AM

jM- I know we're not supposed to have favorites or anything, but Godtopus, how you make me laugh!

Posted by: tamatha at July 29, 2008 11:24 AM

82% Taiwanese? Only if being Taiwanese means skills that rock your face off. However, may never be able to have sex again without picturing "Lube" staring at me.

Stop judging me cat!

Posted by: Vee at July 29, 2008 11:24 AM



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