free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 07/25/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Hypothetical question: if a vampire is a douchebag, then wouldn’t it technically sustain life by drinking saline water? These are the things I ponder. (Agent Bedhead)

Screech is writing a tell-all book from his days of desperately trying to get included in all of the salacious goings-on of his cast members on “Saved By the Bell.” (WIMB)

Here we have another tiding from somebody trying to ruin The Dark Knight for everyone. This fuckknuckle is comparing him to Bush. Bush!! (H/T Chez) (WSJ)

On the subject of superheros: the mighty Nas goes up against the evil supervillain Fox News; sadly is vanquished by the evil powers of sarcasm. (VillageVoice)

Oh, come on, Dustin. Worst prank ever, or most hilarious? (QuizLaw)

Brooke Hogan is the NFL’s most wanted secret weapon. (IDLYITW)

I just realized I totally forgot to post anything this week about Ebert and Roeper cramming it — so here is a great piece by Ebes himself followed by some classic outtakes of he and Siskel busting each others balls. (SunTimes)

Tila Tequila? We poop on you. (cityrag)

Thanks to Bistro, apparently there is this film project which is being decided on completely by website user-generated input. (Coproducer)

WHOOOO! Dance Party Friday! (MusicIsTheMessage)

Step aside, Angelina, Gillian Anderson is now officially the most radiant pregnant woman ever of all time. (Popoholic)

Here are the 50 Most Ridiculous Moments in Cinematic History, comprised entirely from Johnny Mnemonic. (BWE)

Just trust me when I say you shouldn’t be in the process of drinking anything when you click on this. (iHasaBucket)

After the jump, Neil Patrick Harris is a fairy, and I’m not even making a gay slur whatsoever by saying that. (Thanks to Stacy without an “e” at Seriously? OMG!)

Pajiba Love | July 25, 2008 | Comments (29)

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

The whole fire crotch thing is totally true. I read it in the newspaper.

Posted by: KatSings at July 25, 2008 3:51 PM

AWESOME. Hi, Gordon! And Maria and Luis!

Also, I want to be Gillian Anderson when I grow up.

Posted by: Nicole at July 25, 2008 3:51 PM

And suddenly I realize you meant the prank was the firecrotch itself, NOT Dustin posting it.

It's been a long day.

Posted by: KatSings at July 25, 2008 3:53 PM

Wow. I didn't think it was possible to love Neil Patrick Harris more. I freely admit how wrong I was.

Posted by: jadeblue at July 25, 2008 3:53 PM

"Hypothetical question: if a vampire is a douchebag, then wouldn't it technically sustain life by drinking saline water? "

No, he would drive vinegar. You need to find a woman, so you can learn these things.

Oh, and NPH is the most adorable shoe fairy ever. He can help me buy shoes anytime.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 25, 2008 4:13 PM

"Hypothetical question: if a vampire is a douchebag, then wouldn't it technically sustain life by drinking saline water? "

No, he would drink vinegar. You need to find a woman, so you can learn these things.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 25, 2008 4:14 PM

Sorry about the double post. I was trying to fix my spelling.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 25, 2008 4:15 PM

So...I'm hoping that you are just looking at the walrus thing again and remembering how funny it is, and not seeing it for the first time. If that's the case, you've failed at the internet. I'm pretty nerdy, but I think even my mom has seen that thing.

Posted by: Snath at July 25, 2008 4:16 PM

Whatever, Snath, I've seen that before and I'm still laughing at it. Again. Although that could have something to do with the time - I tend to mentally regress 15 or 20 years after 3 pm.

Posted by: Kolby at July 25, 2008 4:24 PM

I Has A Bucket? Really?! Huh...

Apparently i hit the link for an archived page of Pajiba's from 200-&-"tired, played out and from oh so many years ago".

What next, a link to a computer generated dancing baby?

Welcome to the internet.

Posted by: tastyneck at July 25, 2008 5:14 PM

Darren Aronofsky is making the next ROBOCOP movie.

Just like to throw that out.

Posted by: Some Guy at July 25, 2008 5:15 PM

Man, it's hard to pick what's more hilarious: the WSJ dickweed seriously arguing that Batman = George Bush or the 50 Most Ridiculous Moments in Cinematic History.

If you didn't click on the 50 Most Ridiculous Moments in Cinematic History link, do so at your earliest convenience.

Posted by: Slash at July 25, 2008 5:29 PM

Just because a guy dresses impeccably, and despises vag, and his name just happens to be Neil Patrick Harris, it doesn't mean he's gay.

Posted by: Pookie at July 25, 2008 7:09 PM

As a woman, I'm going to live my life pretending that NPH is a good old-fashioned vag loving kind of guy. That thought fills my world with puppies, flowers, and bubbles, all floating happily around my head. Yes, straight as straight can be.

Posted by: katy at July 25, 2008 7:57 PM

I couldn't give a happy fuck what any douche or nondouche might say about Dark Knight.

It is unequivocally the shit. Whom ever said The Gadfather 2 of superhero moves was not taking the piss. I loved it. Alot

Posted by: Catag at July 25, 2008 9:27 PM

Also sorry for not being in the NPH love zone but surely that goes without saying

Posted by: catag at July 25, 2008 9:33 PM

There really is a shoe fairy! Hooray! I shall hold out hope that NPH is keeping all the really cute shoes just for me. And that the Great Pumpkin will arise from the pumpkin patch this year after all.

Posted by: Kris at July 25, 2008 10:33 PM

Angelina who?
Gillian Anderson rules my world and has since The X-Files pilot first aired.

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at July 25, 2008 10:53 PM

tastyneck, thanks! It's great to be here! So much to catch up on, I can tell. I feel pretty bad about missing the whole 'bucket' thing...it kinda burns me to be so slow. I'll work harder!

Posted by: replica at July 26, 2008 3:38 PM

I need to have NPH's babies. That's been old news since the first act of Doctor Horrible went up, but it could do with saying again. Neil! Call me!
I tried to think of one pithy statement that summed up all of how Batman is not like Dubya, but then my brain exploded. Sorry. Except for the obvious, of course: Dubya does not have Morgan Freeman on his side. Any place that Morgan Freeman is not is no place of light and love and righteousness.

Posted by: lizling at July 26, 2008 7:02 PM

Man, I'm gonna out cool everyone here by saying how I totally knew about iHasaBucket back when we had to whittle the bucket out of wood and use it as bait to entice Walruses that we would then harpoon for food and fuel. We'd make woodcuts of the hilarious looks of dismay that walruses would make just before a 5 food long death dealing spike flew through those waddling blubber sacks like a hot knife through butter. Let me tell you, Russian whaling vessels have a bad reputation, but they are nothing but good times if you've got the right people and enough vodka with you. You had to be real careful pulling the bucket back though, those tusks are NOT just for show, as my late friend Boris found out one fateful day. But enough with my yarn spinning, more Neil Patrick Harris news! That man is almost as hilarious as a Walrus being brutally penetrated by an iron torpedo of destruction.


Almost.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at July 27, 2008 12:40 AM

John your debauchery is not the topic of this site, the hedonistic viewpoint that you spew is a road to filth and perversion that I've fought against. The sordid and deep waters of debasement is a tawdry and sodomite filled hole that will be your prison for four score and sevens years. The confusion that you sow will be your downfall.

Posted by: Pookie at July 28, 2008 3:09 AM

Completely off topic, but I just had to share this great short story I found. It's about zombie "life" from the zombie point of view. I thought you folks might get a kick out of it.
I am a zombie filled with love

Posted by: Zanna at July 28, 2008 10:38 AM

seriously? you've never seen the bucket? and you call yourself an internet aficionado....

Posted by: max at July 28, 2008 2:26 PM

I NEVER SAID I WAS AN INTERNET AFICIONADO!

*sobs*

Everyone leave me alone!

Posted by: Stacey at July 28, 2008 2:32 PM

Aww, Stacey, I never saw the bucket thing before this either.

Posted by: Julie at July 28, 2008 3:06 PM

Don't patronize me! I know you're just saying that to make me feel better!

You're all in on it! All of you!

Posted by: Stacey at July 28, 2008 3:17 PM

Ooooowwwwwww....now I really feel like the asshole I am (and was), Stacey.

Sincerely, sorry about that. Normally I'm pretty mellow, but being an Accountant on which apparently turned out to be "Bring A Moron* to Work Day" last Friday, made me all ornery. I'll be sure to vent in other ways...more evil, work related ways.

*Can also just bring yourself

Posted by: tastyneck at July 28, 2008 3:23 PM

Yeah now I kind of feel bad too. Sorry Stacey! It's still funny, don't get me wrong! I laugh every time I see it!

Posted by: Snath at July 31, 2008 12:41 PM