free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 07/23/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

toastmattress.jpg

Pajiba Love

On the running theme of boinking in strange places, I’ve got one where I bet no one has done it yet: on a giant piece of toast! (Serious Eats)

To be completely honest, I have no idea what Dustin was going for with this one here. (WIMB)

Our esteemed colleague Chez Pazienza is guest blogging at the Village Voice this week — so if you’re either a fan of Chez’s or live in the NYC area — please stop by and show your support! (VillageVoice)

Back in the olden days, monkeys in the zoo never had to worry about return fire when they indulged in a little harmless shit flinging. (QuizLaw)

Bad hippie, no reefer. H/T, Boo! (Daily Camera)

On the subject of stupid hippies, how fucking high were Devendra Banhart and Natalie Portman when they thought this would be a good idea? (Popoholic)

I’m pretty ambivalent about Sarah Jessica Parker, so more than anything I don’t want to believe that Ferris Bueller is an adultering cad. (IDLYITW)

Aside from politics, tolerance or et cetera — just admit it: the pregnant man is kinda creepy. Like in a Burger King “King” kind of way. (Celebitchy) And yet, this is somehow creepier than them both. (WIMB)

Now your kids can hate Heidi and Spencer too! (Gallery of the Absurd)

“Al Gore Knows How Many Napkins You Take.” Fucking brilliant. (PA Notes)

Here are the Top Five “Daily Show” reunion moments. Awww, I guess Craig Kilborn never made it back, now did he? (CC Insider)

I realize this topic is so two weeks ago, but check out this spot for the brand relatively new iPhone 3G. “I haven’t eaten in days!”

Pajiba Love | July 23, 2008 | Comments (23)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

For those who are interested, here is more on the Christian Bale thing. http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/herocomplex/2008/07/dark-knight-bal.html

Posted by: Melody at July 23, 2008 3:41 PM

Not cool, Dustin. Not cool at all. You combined the two most vile words I know and now I am doing all that I can to not puke on my keyboard.

Posted by: Nicole at July 23, 2008 3:50 PM

Bah. The Matthew Broderick thing is obviously bunk. There's no way he's cheating on SJP with a woman. Poppycock.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at July 23, 2008 3:52 PM

I want two of those toast mattress thingies, just so I can make a great big me sammich! Oh, and they look like they would taste pretty good covered in peanut butter.

Mmmmmm...Giant Toast...

Posted by: Jeremy at July 23, 2008 3:55 PM

Am I the only one who thought Mayo for the toast mattress (from my special squeeze bottle)?

Posted by: BWeaves at July 23, 2008 4:37 PM

I still say the pregnant man's not creepy. He used to be a woman, so he totally has a uterus 'n stuff. He doesn't weird me out at all. You know what does weird me out? Bodybuilders. All that veiny, bulgy, spray-tanned oiliness? They're like the bastard love children of Carrot Top and Brooke Hogan...greased up in Speedos and contorting themselves like that chick from The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Plus, you just know they stink like sweaty desperation and Icy Hot. Guh-ross.

Posted by: Sarina at July 23, 2008 4:44 PM

I read somewhere that Matthew & SJP smoke like chimneys around their kid, so I'm not feeling Matthew much, anyway. He just seems so small and sad compared to his Glory/Ferris Buehler days.

Posted by: Brie at July 23, 2008 4:47 PM

Here is the problem I have with Pajiba Love - most of the entries are about fake-titted bubble/bobble/air headed celebutards I've never heard of saying something stupid or getting arrested or stealing some druggie half-dead looking manchild from another bubble/bobble/air headed celebutard I've never heard of. Now I find out that Heather Locklear has been dating Jack Wagner! "General Hospital" Jack Wagner! "All I Need" Jack Wagner! For over a year! And I never knew! What the fuck is wrong with you people?

WHAT? THE? FUCK?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at July 23, 2008 5:13 PM

I really don't know if resembling a man and still having a uterus qualifies you as a "man." I mean, yes, I know you want to be known and excepted as a man but having a uterus kind of runs counter to the definition of "male."

Also, is it just me or does Derek Jeter kind of look like a transgendered male himself?

Posted by: c at July 23, 2008 5:17 PM

Also, no way is Ferris cheating on Assy McGee with another woman. Where was Nathan Lane that night?

Posted by: c at July 23, 2008 5:20 PM

What I wanna know is - if I order like, twelve of them toast thingies, do they come to my house in a giant loaf?

Say I'm enjoying a trip to Flavor Country whilst relaxing and doze off. Can I scrape the burnt parts off with a butter knife?

Do they come in crustless versions? Rye? Marble Rye?

Are they... uh, absorbent?

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at July 23, 2008 5:31 PM

Sorry to disagree with you, Stacey, but the thought of a pregnant man just doesn't creep me out. Actually, I think he's showing some straight parents how it's done. Most people think that because they pair up a penis with a vagina, they're entitled to have kids, but this is someone who's willing to fight to create a family. Now, if it's the whole "milking his 15 minutes of fame" thing that bothers you, then yeah, that is a little weird.

And just putting this out there, Sarina, but what can I say, I like em with muscles. Unless they look like they're about to burst open like and overcooked hot dog, in which case, I'll pass.

Posted by: Jeremy at July 23, 2008 5:39 PM

excepted as a man

Was that a pun? Because it's a good one.


Oh and I had sex in my twenties!

Huh? See what I did there? Oh, I'm good.

Posted by: Jay at July 23, 2008 5:50 PM

Sorry, three-nineteen, I thought I was the only one fascinated with the Jack Wagner-Heather Locklear relationship. But forget GH and "All I Need" -- the best part is that they were boyfriend-girlfriend on "Melrose Place" like over a decade ago! (Although didn't they used to actually date back in the day?) And the show ended with them faking their deaths and winding up on a beach somewhere? Now that is fucking poetry.

So yeah, maybe I shouldn't underestimate what you guys are and aren't interested in. Apologies.

And Jeremy: it's not the logistics that creep me out. It's like, the actual dude himself. His face is creepy enough without having a big pregnant belly underneath it. Purely irrational, I assure you.

Posted by: Stacey at July 23, 2008 6:07 PM

Gore sees you when you're sleeping, Gore knows when you're awake, Gore knows if you've been bad or green, so be green for goodness sake!

Posted by: Kris at July 23, 2008 6:21 PM

No problem Stacey...just try to throw a bone to us oldsters in the crowd once in a while.

Alllllllllll IIIIIIIIIIIII NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
is just a little more time
to be sure
what I FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL
isn't all in my mind
'cause it seems so hard to BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE
that you're all I need

Posted by: Three-nineteen at July 23, 2008 6:23 PM

No stars are out tonight, but we're

Aw, fuck, look what you made me do?

Posted by: Jay at July 23, 2008 6:38 PM

Re: the Natalie Portman/Devandrawhatshisname video, the sense I get (after the full minute I watched before turning it off) is that they wanted it to be campy. They just made the unfortunate mistake of getting high (and believe me, it's rare that I say that) before trying to be campy. Yowzer.

Posted by: sherry at July 23, 2008 7:08 PM

I refuse to watch that iPhone video, but only because I am typing this on one and there is no 3g network here so it is slow as fuck. Just thought you should know...

Posted by: the_wakeful at July 23, 2008 10:32 PM

Mankini!!!!

Ahem.

Oh, and the pregnant man thing doesn't bother me, either. Transgendered people put up with enough shit from dumbasses that they automatically get coolness points from me for being brave enough to be open about it.

Posted by: Elfrieda at July 23, 2008 10:52 PM

What creeps me out the "pregnant man" couple is the fame-mongering. Look at us! We're different! Pay attention!

Thought: is Spencer really a spambot? Is he a harbinger of the impending apocalypse?

Posted by: Pea at July 24, 2008 8:47 AM

Ooops...
I meant: "What creeps me out ABOUT the..."

Posted by: Pea at July 24, 2008 8:48 AM

This is utterly off topic, but when I saw that photo all I could think of was "Powdered Toast Man!!!!!"

*ahem* I'll show myself out now. With my log, which rolls downstairs, alone or in pairs and over the neighbors dog. It fits on you back, it's great for a snack, it's log log log!"

(The above is what happens 15 years after you expose a 6 year old to Ren and Stimpy. It's Pavlovian.)

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at July 24, 2008 1:25 PM