Mr. Boynton put it perfectly: “She’s about ten light years ahead of every dumbass actress in Hollywood right now.” So in light of today’s release of The Dark Knight, here’s an outstanding interview with Maggie Gyllenhaal. (The Onion A.V. Club)
Coming soon from Rockstar Games - Grand Theft Auto: Detroit. (Quizlaw)
Mandy Moore, not content with being just “regular hot,” targets the geek demographic. Sweet, bouncing, deep-fried Christ. (WIMB) Also, watch as Dustin steers the ship straight towards the Cliffs of Insanity. (WIMB)
Two of our favorite actors went to a party a couple of nights ago… and got tasered by the cops. Also, I believe racial invective was used. Nice, Shreveport PD. Real fucking nice. (Yeeeah!)
Terrence Howard’s got some shit to say to Bill Cosby. My suggestion? Take Richard Pryor’s advice: “Tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.” (Celeb|bitchy)
Does anyone read Ta-Nehisi Coates? If you haven’t, please do, because he’s an incredibly gifted writer. (L.A. Times by way of Bookslut)
What would make the Beijing Olympics cross the line from “compelling” to “completely fucking awesome?” Human Trebuchet! (Deadspin)
In the long and storied history of crappy bands out there, the Barenaked Ladies holds a place of distinction. So it is with great joy and glee that I announce that their lead singer? Locked the fuck up. Good riddance. (Celebslam)
Not only is John McCain not funny, he’s an offensive douchebag! What an absolute and total shit-for-brains. (Feministing)
20 ways to terrify your babies, guaranteeing that they grow up to be either complete wusses… or serial killers. Thank me later. (Cracked)
Alright, you mangy reprobates. This is my last day, hope you’ve enjoyed my brief stint (if not - cram it in your cramhole). Stacey will be back on Monday to clean up the wreckage. As my parting gift, I give you the most adorable goddamn thing I’ve seen all week. No, it’s not hermaphroditic pornography. It’s even better! I give you: Feist… on Sesame Street! After the jump.
Pajiba Love is temporarily brought to you by TK, whose reign of terror ends today. Corrections or criticisms? Take it up with your mom. Anything else, email him here.
Djay what you should have did to Cosby was to take a wad of cash and stick it in your pants and rub it around your sweaty balls. Then take the wad of cash out of your pants and slap Cosby in the face with it.
Posted by: Pookie at July 18, 2008 3:55 PM
Those baby accessories are amazing. One of my best friends is pregnant, and I am TOTALLY getting her the baby mop.
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 3:55 PM
Hey, be nice TK, there are WAY more annoying bands out there than Barenaked Ladies. My country has exported much worse. Mind you I'm not a huge fan, but I will always have a certain fondness for the one and only band I've ever seen in concert.
'Twas waaay back when Gordon came out (and I was in Grade Nine, baby). They were playing "If I Had $1000000," and when they got to the Kraft Dinner part, a fan tossed a box of it onstage....and hit Stephen Page right in the jewels, at which he groaned and quipped, "It's all fun and games 'til they hit you in the nuts."
Yeah...it was very funny to a giggly teenager at the time....
Posted by: MO(meaux) at July 18, 2008 3:59 PM
I seriously doubt that Richard Pryor atually said that. Considering how much of a fan Richard was of Bill's and considering how much of an influence Bill had on Richard (Goddamit he convinced Richard to do his own thing for crying out loud). Most likely you are taking a comic's hyperbole as actual fact. But that's ok. Nothing but love for the quote.
Of course, Terrence Howard is a cocky ass even with his talent. What most likely happened:
His scenes got cut. He called and complained. No one knew who he was anyway. He blamed his not getting work for the next few years on Bill Cosby. Because it couldn't possibly be Howard's own fault or the fact that its just plain shitty and hard to get work in Hollywood as a black actor right?
I love Terrence but he needs to just accept that Hollywood was not ready for his brand of acting at the time he was doing shit spots on the Cosby show and just move the hell on.
Seriously, doesn't he have better things to do than talk about the scenes that didn't make it to TV on a show he once did a small spot on?
Posted by: cmoody at July 18, 2008 4:05 PM
How is it that I watch Sesame Street nearly every day and have not yet seen the Feist clip.
Dag nab it.
Those baby products are just the tip of the iceberg. There are whole catalogs full of crazy shit. The "safety" products are insane. Somewhere out there someone has probably made a full bubble wrap bodysuit for babies. My kid? I have no problem with some old fashioned bashing and bruising. Pain makes him stronger.
But that thing where you can strap your kid to a bathroom stall sure does look handy. Many a time have I been out and about with Little Pink and had to put the call of nature on extended hold because there was no place to corral him properly in a public restroom. My poor bladder.
But I gotta level with them. Cocaine possession? Jesus.
Posted by: vic at July 18, 2008 4:07 PM
God Damn! Maggie looks sexy. Sorry. I've had a girl crush on her for a very very long time.
Posted by: cmoody at July 18, 2008 4:07 PM
I also admit to liking the Barenaked Ladies. They're really funny in concert.
Ahem.
[puts self on list]
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 4:14 PM
Knowing what I know about Coz and the way he get down with them young bitches, I know damn well he more than likely cut Terrence's scenes.
Posted by: Pookie at July 18, 2008 4:21 PM
Julie- assuming you mean TK's list, I'm pretty sure that he's very possessive of it, and doesn't like other people messing with it, even if they are putting their own selves on it and not randomly putting others on it.
Besides, weren't you already on the list? Aren't we all? No? Well, it just feels like TK has put all of Pajiba on the list at some point or another. Anyway, if you're not on the list, you definitely shouldn't go around volunteering for it. He'll get around to you sooner or later.
Volunteering for the list? Gets you put on the list. -TK
Posted by: tamatha at July 18, 2008 4:25 PM
Everyone should check out the season 4 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia music video that WIMB linked to, it's AMAZING. I can. Not. Wait.
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 4:26 PM
I think the Cosby line was actually Eddie Murphy (he used to be funny, ya know) "quoting" Pryor during an imaginary phone call.
Posted by: Pajibill at July 18, 2008 4:26 PM
TK, you had a whole week where you could have shown some love to Dr. Horrible, and you wasted it. Pissed it away. Passed up easy jokes about Fillion's hammer, or about a henchmen with a name beginning with M who dampens things. I am deeply disappointed in you. Your awesomeness has...I hate to say it...faded somewhat.
Nice one, meaux.
Posted by: lordhelmet at July 18, 2008 4:31 PM
I won't listen to Barenaked Ladies albums, but I went to see them live (for free) and they were good. I would see them live for free anytime.
The Richard Pryor line is from one of Eddie Murphy's stand-up routines (you know, when he was funny). He told a story about how Bill Cosby called him up and told him to stop using profanity. Murphy told Pryor what Cosby said, and that's what Pryor replied. I think it's from Raw.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at July 18, 2008 4:31 PM
See what I mean?
TK- We don't know that she meant your list. It could be any list. You know, like People Who Like the Barenaked Ladies, But Sense That They Should Know Better, And Still Can't Help Themselves List. So, you know, no jumping to conclusions or anything.
Besides, I think you are quite fond of Julie, and don't really want her on your list.
Posted by: tamatha at July 18, 2008 4:35 PM
Batman review.
I demand it.
Posted by: tray_vis at July 18, 2008 4:37 PM
Ha! I'm not on TK's list. He couldn't find me if he wanted to. Punk ass. I'm smart enough not be puttin out my government information for everyone to kno...oh, you guys have my email....ahhh shit!
Posted by: jM at July 18, 2008 4:42 PM
I've been on TK's list for a loooong time. For multiple offenses. I put myself on my own list. Other listees include the creator of competitive eating, Shadows, my equilibrium, Steve Martin, and kitties.
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 4:43 PM
I'm proud to say I'm on RatBastard's...I mean...TK's list. That's all he does, makes his lists, takes em home, gloats over them, and then cries himself to sleep as a zombie covers him with a sweatervest.
Love Feist. Feist on Sesame Street? Adorable!
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 18, 2008 4:45 PM
jM- Have you learned nothing lo these many months in Pajibaland?! Specifically, do not draw attention to yourself when the subject of TK's list comes up! If you're not on the list, you keep mum, whistle a happy-go-lucky tune, and talk about anything else.
Weren't you happy molesting panda bears? Why would you try to get yourself into more trouble?
Posted by: tamatha at July 18, 2008 4:46 PM
kitties, Jules? Equilibrium?
You've gotta be the most endearingly dirty listee TK has!
Posted by: lordhelmet at July 18, 2008 4:47 PM
...cries himself to sleep as a zombie covers him with a sweatervest.
Shadows, I just added you to my list. My list of people to HUG, that is.
And did I mention that Maggie Gyllenhaal and I are, like, best friends? We totally are.
Helmet, kitties make me sneeze and I fall down way too much for someone who does not own a pair of roller skates, therefore they are on the list!
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 4:57 PM
Maggie Gyllenhaal is vastly overrated. Plus, she's kinda ugly. They should have gone with someone hot for Dark Knight, like, say, Cameron Diaz.
Posted by: sosumi at July 18, 2008 4:57 PM
Only someone with a death wish would talk about my best friend like that, sosumi!
Posted by: Kolby at July 18, 2008 4:59 PM
Julie- I'm so confused. What kind of list is that? A list of things you are against? Like? Troubled by? Find useless? I mean, how can competitive eating be on the list with the other things? Aren't those other things good? Oh, maybe it's just me who finds it gross, perhaps all those things are good in your mind? And if they're good, why would you put yourself on your list for liking BNL, when you seemed sheepish about it? I can't deal with this lever of confusion, it's been a stressful week.
Posted by: tamatha at July 18, 2008 4:59 PM
So I know most everyone on this site adores Maggie Gyllenhaal, but after seeing The Dark KNight last night, all I have to say is:
Maggie Gyllenhaal is not attractive.
I mean, she's looked good before, but she just looked like someone went to work on her face with a murdertank for 30 minutes. No way she would ever land Bruce Wayne, childhood friends or not.
Posted by: Some Guy at July 18, 2008 5:04 PM
Kolby - She's lucky to have a friend like you, but she still borders on hideous.
Posted by: sosumi at July 18, 2008 5:05 PM
My bad, TK.
Julie, you must be a lot of fun at parties. Really, who doesn't love a good clutz? (Full disclosure - while fully awake* I managed to jam my fingers deep into a jar of Nutella trying to remove the airfresh seal, then knock over a picture after forgetting a book sitting right by the door...I hate mornings)
* - allegedly.
Posted by: lordhelmet at July 18, 2008 5:06 PM
Ha ha ha! Tamatha, you put waaaay too much thought into trying to dissect the way I think. Let's just say it's a list of things that disappoint (me, Steve Martin for not making good movies lately) or bug (everything else). Shadows goes on the list because I like to mess with him. :p
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 5:06 PM
I know, tamatha, I know. I'm just so damn excited to see The Dark Knight in a few hours. I can't take it. That, and I need to get ready to take on the inevitable tall-as-shit, skyscraping motherfucker who's gonna sit in front of me. Plus I think my sloth of pandas can take on TK's zombie horde. The cuteness could melt the already decaying cockles of their non-beating hearts. Also, pandas are surprisingly horny, just not for each other.
Posted by: jM at July 18, 2008 5:06 PM
Lordhelmet, I once sprained my ankle at a New Year's party by tripping over a bag of Doritos. Right now I'm covered in bruises from slipping in a puddle in a garage, banging my leg against my oven, and other...things. I also have a sprained neck from god knows what and NO not THAT.
I shouldn't be allowed out of my cage.
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 5:09 PM
Really? We're hating on Barenaked Ladies now? Awww. Stunt is still one of my favorite albums ten years later - full of yummy pop riffs mixed with surprisingly subversive lyrics.
Grated, dude is a fool for getting caught for possession, but I hardly think it's fair to dismiss them as a "crappy pop band." They aren't Third Eye Blind. They're more like a more mass-consumption-friendly They Might Be Giants.
Posted by: Tammy at July 18, 2008 5:10 PM
Shadows goes on the list because I like to mess with him. :p
You're lucky that turns me on.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 18, 2008 5:12 PM
If you're not on the list, you keep mum, whistle a happy-go-lucky tune, and talk about anything else.
That is exactly how you do it. You sneak in a few well timed comments about the sweater vests and then let others go overboard with it. Then they get put on the list and you get off scot-free!
MMMMMmmm...Nutella...mmmmm...
Posted by: Melody at July 18, 2008 5:12 PM
Right now I'm covered in bruises from slipping in a puddle in a garage, banging my leg against my oven, and other...things.
Julie, you can tell us the truth. Did Shadows do this? It's one thing to forget the safe word, but if you just forgot to make dinner, that's not okay.
Posted by: jM at July 18, 2008 5:17 PM
Julie, that is a better story than my incident that involved 2 sprained ankles (both mine) and a bleeding forehead, elbow, and knee.
Posted by: Melody at July 18, 2008 5:19 PM
Hi there kids. What's that? We're talking about clumsy?
My name's TK, and I once broke both bones in my left forearm, broke my right shoulder blade, lost two teeth and tore up both knees.
Simultaneously. While riding a bike. It's also important to note that I did not hit anything, nor did anything hit me. And that this was all two weeks before freshman year of high school.
So, there.
Posted by: TK at July 18, 2008 5:23 PM
but if you just forgot to make dinner, that's not okay
Ha! And Melody, all I did was trip over some Cool Ranch deliciousness, did you get trampled by a herd of wildebeests? My god.
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 5:25 PM
Holy god, TK. Ouch ouch ouch.
I dislocated my knee by walking down a hallway...injury just finds me.
Posted by: Julie at July 18, 2008 5:30 PM
Umm, ok TK, you win. Actually, I guessed this was coming after your various blog entries on painful incidents. So I guess I should send you the big foam house and human-sized hamster ball that I was labeling for Julie?
Posted by: lordhelmet at July 18, 2008 5:31 PM
And here I thought that worst injury suffered by most Pajibans was carpal tunnel syndrome. Stick to your computers, people - the world is a dangerous place.
Posted by: sosumi at July 18, 2008 5:41 PM
I'm not violently clumsy, I'm more just the kind of clumsy where I constantly have bruises on my shins and people are like "did someone beat you with a length of pipe?" and I have to say "uh, no, I walked to my bed that's been in the same place for 6 months. Three times. This morning"
I like Stunt too. Damn.
Oh, and I thought Ms.Gyllenhaal was fine looking in the Dark Knight. Very attainable kind of pretty, but sparkly when she needed to be. But I understand how others could feel differently.
I broke my arm by falling out of a door backwards.
Nothing makes Moving Day better than a trip to the hospital.
Posted by: Lauren at July 18, 2008 5:43 PM
Maggie Gyllenhaal is vastly overrated. Plus, she's kinda ugly. They should have gone with someone hot for Dark Knight, like, say, Cameron Diaz.
Now, see, you had me going until you suggested the fake tan scarecrow as a replacement.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 18, 2008 6:13 PM
Actually many despise Maggie Gyllenhaal. At least she has some few fans in this site. She wont survive the other Batman and movie blogs and forums.
Posted by: Brandon at July 18, 2008 6:14 PM
McCain for President and Romney for Vice. The twist in the Dark Knight is that Maggie G.is the real Joker and she needs no makeup to play the character. Her acting is a giant step for mankind and womankind unless you dig porn.
Romney is even hotter and ages gracefully than Maggie.
Posted by: blackbird at July 18, 2008 6:24 PM
See? See what happens? You start talking crap about Maggie (as if saying she is ugly will stop me or others here from wanting her to ride us until the sun came up), and now we got another troll, and a delusional one at that. Oy.
No way she would ever land Bruce Wayne, childhood friends or not.
And as soon as you become a billionaire playboy who is secretly a vigilante based off of a flying mammal, we might consider your opinion a bit more.
Jeez, does this have to happen every damn time? It isn't like the pace is just inundated with the woman; some folks like to show their appreciation. But for some weird reason, others like to pipe up and make snide remarks, which nine times out of ten always come back to how not hot she is.
You don't find her attractive, Whooptie-goddamn-doo. I am so glad you made that so clear now. I was afraid I might crush on the wrong person! Who else should I be warned about, hmm? Please guide my libido in the right direction!
thanks for the info on Maggie's look in this film. It disappoints the hell out of me, 'cause she knocked my ass out in Secretary and Sherry Baby; but I'm glad I'm going to see the movie knowing not to expect too much hotness from her, thanks to your early warning.
Posted by: TMax at July 18, 2008 6:42 PM
At least she has some few fans in this site. She wont survive the other Batman and movie blogs and forums.
She has more than a few fans here, not to mention everywhere it matters when it comes to filmmaking. She has two films in production right now and has been averaging more than one per year in the Aughts. She's geek chic, and she'll do fine with comic book fans and serious moviegoers -- TDK's core audience. I guess there's no bad publicity, because the more a few people pile on the negative criticism, the more successful she becomes.
Her career ain't exactly on a downward arc right now.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 18, 2008 6:52 PM
...and AFTER I finished the comments section, AFTER POSTING IMMEDIATELY UPON HERE with NO IDEA WHATSOEVER that I'd posted just after Vermillion..
Please excuse me, sir, I wasn't attempting to debate your post and would have re-written my opinion so as not to contrast from yours had I been aware you posted.
And I just now started drinking, go figure; fucked-up end to a fucked-up day, please excuse'
Posted by: TMax at July 18, 2008 6:56 PM
Well, it's official. My remaining brain cells have lost in their fight against an insurgent uprising of nerurons attempting to upheave the infectious tyrannical reign of Lady Twist's "Crank That (Dictionary)" from the song playing nonstop in my head. The queen is dead. All hail the new queen: Feist.
TK, you reaffirm my faith in humanity...I didn't know enough time had passed to make hating Barenaked Ladies socially acceptable, but I'm glad it has.
No offense.
Posted by: Smokin at July 18, 2008 7:25 PM
I will defer to vermillion on the Maggie Gyllenhal question.
Feist on Sesame Street just made my week. Thank you.
Posted by: greer at July 18, 2008 7:29 PM
Well, I think Maggie Gyllenhaal is quite attractive. I like that she looks the same way with loads of makeup as she does bare-skinned. I like that she's talented, has brains, and apparently doesn't take shit from anybody. And I like that she looks like a real woman, with a real woman's body. She's lovely. And pretty much everyone with a brain cell and decent vision knew right away she'd be much better as Rachel Dawes than Katie Holmes ever could be.
Posted by: Kolby at July 18, 2008 8:28 PM
Josh Brolin is a loser.He better watch it or he can kiss his career gbye. Gyllenhaal looks like Jake in a wig or a grandma. Her body parts go south so pity those that fancy her.Katie is the real Batman babe. Maggie should have been Bin Laden's ladylove when she is coldhearted to say America is responsible for 9/11 and that people who died that day deserved it. She's a moron when she thinks Brooklyn is another state and full of herself white trash to think Provocateur is an art project. She should have lunch with fellow white trash Lohan's mom who thought highly of her daughter doing an art project posing as naked Marilyn Monroe.
I edited your comment for spoiler content, Ingrid. Please try to be more considerate. -TK
Posted by: Ingrid at July 18, 2008 8:39 PM
Goddamn, how the hell does Maggie FUCKING Gyllenhaal manage to garner more drama on this site than anything else, ever. Seriously people, get over it.
To the lovers: She will never sleep with you, no matter how much you insist that she is 'unconventionally beautiful'.
To the haters: No one gives a fuck that you think a particular girl woman is ugly, hideous or misshapen. You're all just jealous that she won't sleep with you either.
Posted by: the_wakeful at July 18, 2008 10:38 PM
Julie, there were no wildebeasts involved. I was trying to get to the keg and I tripped over my own feet, twisting the ankles, stumbling into this super hot guy and falling on face.
I had not even started drinking yet.
Posted by: Melody at July 18, 2008 11:14 PM
For the summer Olympics the basketbell team better bring back the Gold same goes for the other athletes. Go USA!!!!
Maggie looks 50 and sounds like a teeny bopper.Katie is infinitely hotter and talented and should share some of her good genes to Mags because Mags can play mother to Katie and Batman.
Posted by: metal gear at July 19, 2008 12:23 AM
I think our trolls are all the same person, given the consistently bad punctuation.
That person? Clearly Katie CruiseBot.
Posted by: Tammy at July 19, 2008 2:46 AM
TK, a big fuck you for hatin' on the Toronto boys. You can hate the music if you want, but BNL has one of the finest concerts in North American music.
That said, Steve Page shoulda fuckin' known better. I personally would like to kick him in the nads, and line up every other Ladies Room member to do the same one-at-a-time. Hopefully his bandmates slap the ahit out of him.
Posted by: idiosynchronic at July 19, 2008 11:31 AM
Maggie looks 50 and sounds like a teeny bopper.Katie is infinitely hotter and talented and should share some of her good genes to Mags because Mags can play mother to Katie and Batman.
Plus, Lions for Lambs was really good! And I'm not short! [stomp stomp stomp]
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 19, 2008 1:29 PM
guys
guys
joss whedon musical mad scientist blog. free. right now.
listen, if you havent seen it, then you just hush now and go to this link, and go to it now, because it will not be available much longer for free.
there is way too much fucking bolding going on with you bitches.
Posted by: Mars at July 19, 2008 9:54 PM
wait a sec, why don't you dumbshits like Barenaked Ladies?
Posted by: confused in Menlo at July 19, 2008 11:46 PM
Before you go dissing BNL, have a listen to the greatness that is their first two albums, Gordon and Maybe You Should Drive. Very good stuff and, as others have said, they put on a great show (or at least they did 13 years ago, when I saw them at Roseland).
Posted by: bartap at July 20, 2008 1:03 PM
Ta-Nehisi Coates is indeed a fantastic writer. His article on Bill Cosby published in The Atlantic is a great probe into African-American culture and its tensions, all written with intelligence and insight. And his interview on The Atlantic's web site is great; he's funny, insightful, and down-to-earth. I hope his career goes far.
Feist dancing with monsters = happy day.
Posted by: lilywise at July 20, 2008 5:47 PM
I saw "The Dark Knight" this weekend and thought MG did a very nice job with what she was given. I have never thought she was across-the-board pretty, but an ex of mine said it best: "Wow. She can look really sexy and cute...and then she can look terrible." Her transformation over the course of "Secretary" is testament to her adaptability and her acting prowess.
My only complaint was her clothing in "TDK": most Gotham DA's I know don't let any boob-bouncing visibly occur. They're generally among the most risk-averse dressers around.
HA! Josh Brolin Tasered!! Made my day!