free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 07/16/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Let’s talk about some of the good before I pile the dogshit on you. How about a damn good piece on veteran character actor Larry Miller? You’re welcome. (The Onion)

Mmm… tree porn. That’s right, you dirty little oak. Touch my bark. What? Was that weird? (CityRag)

Karl Rove: Master wordsmith or Lucifer incarnate? I’m going with number two, but I suppose we’ll have to wait for the book. No, fuck that… Lucifer incarnate. (Quizlaw)

Look, before you Pajibettes get all rowdy and irate about linking to pictures of her — I get it, OK? I totally get why you hate her. I kind of hate her, too. But we are helpless, and cannot resist her slutty, hooker-hot wiles. Fellas, am I right or am I right? Plus, with that Star Wars shirt? E-fucking-gads. (Popoholic)

Here, this should make up for it (WIMB). Or if that’s not your particular piece of crumbcake, how about this? (WIMB)

What the hell, I like to pull the rug out now and again. So here we go, ruining what little goodwill I may have garnered so far. The Hulkster just got creepier. (IDLYITW)

In case anyone was wondering what it’s like to work with me. (Overheard in the Office)

My dear friends, I give you… Tucker Max in 15 years! (The Phat Phree)

Alright, Jossketeers. The first episode of Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is up and running (H/T to reader/commenter cockroach). Git to watching, you devourers of all things Whedon. I said GIT! (Dr. Horrible)

Fuck it. Stacey’s not here, so I’m breaking the embargo. People need to be warned, damn it! THE END IS NIGH, YOU BASTARDS! Why doesn’t anyone listen to me? (Cele|bitchy)

For your viewing pleasure, two more things that may provide a glimpse into my psyche: a love of destroying things, and my seething envy of iPhone owners. I particularly love the part where it belches thick, black smoke (via College Humor). After the jump.


Pajiba Love | July 16, 2008 | Comments (25)

Pajiba Love is temporarily being brought to you by TK (now with 43% more profanity!), who is pinch hitting for Stacey Nosek this week. You can email him here.


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Comments

I love Larry Miller, he was so cute as the dad in 10 Things I Hate About You.

Posted by: Julie at July 16, 2008 3:37 PM

TK, this morning I managed to spill coffee on myself, my backpack, my desk, and my keyboard.

For some inexplicable reason, that made me think of you.

Posted by: Melody at July 16, 2008 3:47 PM

Megan Fox reminds me of a Barbie I once owned. Perhaps she was actually one of Malibu Barbie's best girlfriends. I can't be sure. All I know is this: this particular Barbie's face looked like it had been caught in a vice (much like Megan Fox's), and she was tortured by my younger sister, who eventually shaved off all of her hair. My sister also broke every crayon in my Crayola Big Box in half, just to spite me, but that's another story for another time.

Posted by: Kolby at July 16, 2008 4:09 PM

yay for Overheard in the Office and all of its sister sites!!

Posted by: mswas at July 16, 2008 4:22 PM

I kind of get the attraction of Megan Fox...she's like...a much more affordable version of Angelina Jolie...if A.J. looked a little more like a blow up doll. I'd watch her in a porn though, I think she'd be good.

Posted by: Joker at July 16, 2008 4:35 PM

I'm sorry but I just don't get this whole Megan Fox deal. Listen, I was born and raised in Miami, on any given fucking day you can go to little Havana, little Haiti, South Beach, or any other place in Miami and find a bitch hotter and sexier than Miss Fox. I'm not even going to mention the home grown bitches down here. Megan Fox pfffff...... Motherfucker please.

Posted by: Pookie at July 16, 2008 4:37 PM

First of all, YAY for all things Musical and Whedon.

Secondly, those pictures of Megan Fox are NOT hot in any way, in fact, they make me hate Star Wars just a little bit.

Thirdly...YAY for all things Musical and NPH.

Posted by: WampaLord at July 16, 2008 4:41 PM

How could anyone hate Megan Fox?? That's like hating fluffy clouds, sandy beaches, Joss Whedon and all that is right with the world.

Posted by: Riles at July 16, 2008 4:51 PM

Megan Fox is undeniably pretty and I do appreciate the fact that we share a first name and she spells it properly. But, honestly, I see her and the first thing that pops in my mind is - gonorrhea.

Posted by: Megan at July 16, 2008 5:09 PM

I just blew way too much time on that Overheard In The Office site. Bad, bad TK. You must now come to my house and fold laundry.

Posted by: katy at July 16, 2008 5:17 PM

Two questions.

1) Who or what is a Megan Fox?

2) Why are we linking to a photo of Megan Fox when TMZ caught Dame Hellen Mirren in a red bikini? And to be blunt, I think the latter looks much better.

Posted by: Robert at July 16, 2008 6:02 PM

Megan Fox is hot, I'll give her that. Plus, she at least has some sense of self-awareness, if she can figure out that her acting ability is limited to being pretty. But still, there's something about this girl that seems a tad...I don't know, grimy. Literally. Have you ever noticed that she has this weird, constant sheen? It's like she rubs herself with crisco every morning after taking an olive oil shower.

Posted by: Jeremy at July 16, 2008 6:33 PM

HEY! Did I not call her "hooker-hot"? I don't want to take her to visit my parents, for fuck's sake.

Posted by: TK at July 16, 2008 6:36 PM

Why are we linking to a photo of Megan Fox when TMZ caught Dame Hellen Mirren in a red bikini? And to be blunt, I think the latter looks much better

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2008/07/post_19.html

Quite.

Now, I'll readily give you that that thin shirt's practically made for a bust show. Hell, probably literally made. Looks brand new and girlie-cut, but made with that old-fashioned toilet paper we only started escaping 15 years now (and yet, this year's Spoon shirts? Thin, clingy-fitting TRASH!! Go on and ruin the work U2 put into getting quality shirts on the market! Sure, sure, have your specialty sizes and cuts, but give me my sturdy shirt, goddammit!!)

Plus I think it's just base pandering. She's not so attractive that I wouldn't ask her the location of the hidden Rebel base. But my point is, I was hoping it was going to a picture of Scarlett Johansson and I'm disappointed. I'd cut her some more slack as well.

Posted by: Jay at July 16, 2008 7:00 PM

Two questions.

1) Who or what is a Megan Fox?

2) Why are we linking to a photo of Megan Fox when TMZ caught Dame Hellen Mirren in a red bikini? And to be blunt, I think the latter looks much better.

Robert, we are kindred spirits, for these are the thoughts that keep me from my rest.

And what, for the love of Doogie Howser, is going on in Joss Whedon's head? "Bad Cowboy"? I must be notified immediately when ever a new episode is available!

TK, you are so grounded when Stace comes back. You linked to that...thing which shall not be named. That starletard hotel heiress. You broke the rules. You have brought it into the light and fed it after dark and now it shall multiply and its spawn shall live among us. Happy?

Posted by: greer at July 16, 2008 7:05 PM

Sweet Jesus, Helen Mirren looks good. I mean...she's about to turn *63*! How is that even physically possible? 'Well played' is right...

As for Megan Fox, I actually kinda like her. She's undeniably attractive (with just the slightest tinge of "skank" - not enough to put you off, just enough to make you think she knows how to do some pretty ungodly things in some pretty amazing places), and she seems to have a decent handle on (a) what she's famous for (that "I just stood there and looked hot" interview) and (b) who she's famous to (blatant nerd-pandering with the Star Wars shirt). Compared to the oodles of starletards who go on about how deep and thoughtful they are and how they want to be respected as an artist/musician/sex tape star/whatever the fuck, it's nice and refreshing to have one of them say "You know what? I'm talentless and not that smart, but I'm incredibly hot, so just sit there quietly and drool over me for a while and we can all go home richer and happier" Bless you, Megan Fox, for bringing good old-fashioned honesty back to the world of whoring out your looks for fame and money. Bless you indeed.

Posted by: Shay at July 16, 2008 7:33 PM

15 minutes of Dr. Horrible had more humor and charm, better dialogue, and stronger characters than 95% of the feature films that come out. I'm happy for NPH that he's getting a second shot at a career.

"Cut off the head? Of the human race?"

"It's not a ... perfect metaphor."

And, in closing:

"It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 16, 2008 7:33 PM

See, if Dr. Horrible came out a week ago, my Freebies list probably would be different. This added on to his other work convinces me that I would totally become a gay man for NPH. Now, where did I put that strap-on?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at July 16, 2008 8:01 PM

Isn't he dreamy? For some reason, my "If I Had to ..." list runs to hetero men. I'm sure there's some deep, illogical insecurity about proclaiming I would have sexual relations with an actual gay man, as opposed to announcing my intentions to hold Daniel Craig's firm pectoral in one hand while I use the other to ...

Okay, anyways, NPH is so vulnerable and sweet, I want to call the SPCA to pick him up so we can adopt him.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 16, 2008 8:14 PM

Oh, good. I was thinking at first that I was the only one that had no idea who this Megan Fox character was. I felt a little like Cordelia asking "Who's Colin Farrell?"...

Also, I have weaknesses for all things musical AND all things Whedon. Fantastic!

Posted by: christine at July 16, 2008 10:23 PM

greer, I'm more than relieved to find out other people (like christine) also don't know who Megan Fox is. I asked my brother and his reply was a swift whack to the head.

Though I should have know the Fug Girls would post a picture of Mirren in the bikini. I believe they've used the expression "nice rack" more than once to describe the Academy Award winning actress.

Posted by: Robert at July 16, 2008 10:36 PM

Larry Miller is a stand-up legend, and THIS is why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6OZKdHWY58

(the visual quality of this clip blows, but the content is still great)

Most Pajibans, I feel, have been on the wrong end of Larry's Five Stages of Drinking. Some of us are probably there RIGHT NOW.

Posted by: Tammy at July 17, 2008 1:50 AM

Act two of Dr. Horrible is up now too. And it broke my damn heart.

And -god-, I love all three of them. Felicia Day is reminding me again why she earned the honor of "Potential I Don't Want to Stab In the Stupid Face. Seriously, Fuck You, Kennedy, You Couldn't Be Tara If You Tried."

...what? Bitter? Moi?

Posted by: Mara at July 17, 2008 2:31 AM

So long as Fox knows that she, unlike Mirren, will not have relevance at the age of 63, I'm fine with that. And, yes, had the t-shirt not been a Star Wars t-shirt, there'd be no hullaballoo.

Posted by: samantha t at July 17, 2008 6:55 AM

OH, just watched ACT II of Dr. Horrible. "These are not the hammer," and the following line made me laugh so hard, I had to rewind to hear the final song.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 17, 2008 10:13 AM