free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 07/16/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

An informative and helpful guide for Planning Sensibly For When the Zombies Come. (Your Mom’s Basement)

The most entertaining (not to mention only) product review you’ll ever read about a plastic shopping bag. (The Impulsive Buy)

Time’s 50 Best Websites of 2007, and nary a mention of Pajiba. What-the fuck-ever, Time. (Time)

Hilary Duff’s got a new fluffy-haired mystery man. (IDLYITW)

While a completely different Hillary has totally cornered the “lipstick lesbian” demographic. (Fatback and Collards)

Someone alert Gawker - you’re about to be spotted in Hell. Slate’s fake action movie one-liner contest just got served! (Junkiness)

You know you’re fucked if the best alibi for murder you can come up with is murdering someone else. (QuizLaw)

After the jump, a clip of the upcoming A&E series, “The Two Coreys.” Feldman — the smarmy, shit-stirring little bitch — tells Haim that they’re making a (direct to video) sequel to The Lost Boys and that they’re not planning on asking him to make a cameo. You can actually pinpoint the moment where Haim’s last modicum of dignity crumbles away before weeping in the arms of his friend. It’s just fucking fantastic, and I can’t wait.

Pajiba Love | July 16, 2007 | Comments (25)




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Comments

Wow. Does it say something about me that I've never visited a single one of the websites that Time lists? Hell, 30 or 40 of them I've never even heard of.

God, I'm criminally un-web savvy.

Posted by: Shit Ninja at July 16, 2007 3:50 PM

Uh, I think I once followed a link to Joost.com. And I've heard of Funnyordie.com. I've never heard of any of the others (where's Icanhascheezburger.com? You gonna tell me that's not currently one of the most popular sites in the world?). And people, I'm scootin' around on the Web every damn day.

I think Time just made that shit up.

Posted by: Jerce at July 16, 2007 3:59 PM

Awwww that clip from "The Two Coreys" broke my heart a little bit.

I just don't like seeing my favorite teen crushes not doing so well.

Posted by: Kylie at July 16, 2007 4:03 PM

Shit Ninja?

Posted by: litelysalted at July 16, 2007 4:16 PM

You rang, Ms. Salted?

Posted by: Shit Ninja at July 16, 2007 4:42 PM

Why you gotta be changing it up like that, T to the K? Are you going through a "P Diddy" phase?

I'm old, and my feeble mind confuses easily.

Posted by: litelysalted at July 16, 2007 4:50 PM

oh cory. or is it corey? yeah, kylie, it broke my heart a bit too, after i giggled at his little chin wobble. he's so sincere! awww. feldman is hilarious. he actually CAN act people! i sense a jump in his career.

ha ha ha SHIT NINJA. oh, and thanks for stickin up for my about my truly tasteless joke, tk! you're the best cyberfriend a betch could have. happy vacay.

Posted by: nexus 6 at July 16, 2007 4:57 PM

It's a long story, really. An epic tale of love, adventure and chicanery. It's quite complex, but still honest and forthright. A tale of the common man, and his place in the universe. A story of identity, and struggle.

Oh, fuck it. Ask... I mean blame Jerce. It was her stupid idea.

I'm just trying it on, seeing if it fits. Taking it out for a test drive, if you will.

Posted by: Shit Ninja aka TK at July 16, 2007 4:59 PM

Is it wrong for me to be turned on by that Hilary crush video? If so, I do not want to be right.

Favorite Junkiness movie quotes:

Your development is arrested.

Klaatu, barada, nikto, motherfucker.

Love them.

I think Time just went through their web filter and listed the sites their interns were trying to access that weren't porn.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 16, 2007 5:04 PM

The top 10 probably all have banner ads on the Time.com site.

Posted by: LL at July 16, 2007 5:29 PM

I'll vouch for DonorsChoose.org on the Time website. It's a site where teachers in underfunded schools put up projects they need funding for and you can choose to donate all or part of the money they need for it. As a former student of underfunded schools I think it's pretty awesome.

I'm probably not ready for the Zombie day of reckoning either. Though I'm a good shot I don't own any guns, so, problem.

Posted by: Genny at July 16, 2007 6:41 PM

That Coreys clip is horrible. I mean, Haim is crying over not getting a direct-to-video [i]cameo[/i] in a Lost Boys sequel. I just don't see how anybody wins in that scenario.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 16, 2007 7:50 PM

Shit Ninja, I'm with you. Where the fuck did Time pick these from? Mind you, I did know one of them: Starwars.com. And, speaking as a Star Wars fan (see the afternoon diversion for my official apology), I have to say call shenaningans on Time for this. I mean, if there's any cool content to that site, I wouldn't know because YOU FRIGGIN' HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!!!!

Damn you, George Lucas, and your limitless greed!

Posted by: Armando at July 16, 2007 8:29 PM

Zombie Pete is my new boyfriend. Finally someone else who admits to randomly obsessing about zombie preparedness. I too find myself thinking over potential zombie invasion scenarios and what my response would be. It's what I do when I go "wool-gatherin": those times when my brain can just shift into neutral.

For example, I was just in the mountains with my parents and my son this past week. While we hiked by some of these huge vacation homes, perched on the side of a cliff minimal entrances and exits which would be easily destroyed/defended, I'm thinking, "What great strongholds from which to fend off zombies! And only about an hour away from where I live!"

Heh, heh, heh.

Yeah and Feldman was always my favorite Corey. Haim seemed like such a schmuck.

Posted by: Alabamapink at July 16, 2007 9:07 PM

Shit Ninja, you should adopt one of the Junkiness one-liners as your catch-phrase, to keep it from dying.

Shit Ninja: (assumes ninja stance with ninja blade).

Victim: What are you-- Oh shit! It's Shit Ninja!

Shit Ninja: They say Eskimos have a hundred words for snow. You're about to have a thousand words for "ouch."

Victim: Wait, aren't ninjas supposed to be silent?

Shit Ninja: (grimaces)

Victim: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to not say anything.

Shit Ninja: (kills Victim with slice through neck, leaving head on shoulders staring open-eyed) Guess you're going to miss the Spice Girls reunion. Chump.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 16, 2007 9:27 PM

Yeah, Shit Ninja. Aren't you supposed to be silent, but deadly? Or are those the Shart Ninjas? And what would be your nemesis? Butt Pirates? Turd Raiders?

I am thinking about this too much.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 16, 2007 9:36 PM

...

draws sword, sneaks twoards Vermillion

Posted by: Shit NInja at July 16, 2007 10:43 PM

...

draws sword, sneaks twoards Vermillion

Posted by: Shit NInja at July 16, 2007 10:44 PM

You would have gotten me by surprise, but that capital I in Ninja was too much for me to ignore.

By the way, Kat is mine.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 16, 2007 10:45 PM

And how do you sneak "twoards" someone?

Posted by: Vermillion at July 16, 2007 10:47 PM

I admit it. I was drunk last night. Sorry. Hey, I'm on vacation, cut me some slack.

That Corey video makes me sad...

Posted by: TK at July 17, 2007 8:59 AM

Oh that Coreys video was horrible! I loved them so much! :(

Alabamapink, I think we may be identical cousins. I grew up in Alabama too, and have a slight obsession with all things zombie.

I've lived in New Orleans for several years now, and my first time back after That Fucking Bitch Katrina, I came home to a decimated city with no power, water, heat etc., populated by a handful of dazed individuals and soldiers with big guns on every corner. It was terrifying, just me and my dogs in a pitch black apartment with a bottle of bourbon, but,...well, I admit that part of me was maybe a tiny bit thrilled because it really, really, really felt like I was in a zombie flick. One of the local coffee houses had this crazy guy who kept passing out flyers warning of the post- Katrina zombies loosed in the city, I still have one somewhere. (flyer, not zombie)
One night at a friend's house, there was a man with no pants on standing out in the street. He was sort of swaying, and we thought he was drunk, so asked him if he was OK. He made a moaning noise and turned his head in a horrid and all too familiar way towards us, and I went, "zombie!" and we ran. We tried calling police, thinking he may be injured, not undead, but he disappeared before they got there.
Ever since TFBK, zombie movies have seemed waaay more plausible to us.
Man, I've had a lot of coffee this morning. Apologies.

Posted by: isabelle at July 17, 2007 9:48 AM

OK isabelle, that's would have freaked my shit out (groaning pantless guys *shudder*), but how cool would it be if you did have a zombie stashed somewhere? He'd be better than a rottweiler!

Posted by: pinkcheese at July 17, 2007 10:58 AM

The Coreys clip is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!! My girlfriend got addicted to flavor of love and I constantly asked her how she could watch that shit...or any reality TV for that matter...with exception of Man vs. Wild cuz that dude is fuckin' harsh...but I am setting my TiVo ASAFP for the season pass for this. not that I won;t be home to watch it but i have a feeling this will be TV history in the making. i understand now Bekka. I love you for the patience you have shown me...now don't bother me! The fucking Coreys are on!

Posted by: PissBoy at July 17, 2007 11:00 AM

I loved License to Drive as a kid, but what is Haim wearing on his head? It's officially over.
On a side note:
This made me laugh. I've never heard of U.T.F.O. before, or Skeezer Pleezer but I am soooo hoping iTunes has.

Posted by: CJ at July 17, 2007 2:16 PM