I totally forgot to mention anything yesterday, but “The State” came out on DVD. Hooray! In honor of this milestone, here is a behind-the-scenes piece on what is arguably their most famous sketch: “Porcupine Racetrack.” (NY Times)
Because I know how we loves our gay sex around these parts, here’s a six-pack of fairly mainstream films featuring gay sex. (PW)
For those of you Pajibans with young daughters, here’s some news on the latest Miley Cyrus monstrosity you’ll no doubt be forced to sit through. (Webster’s)
Because I love it and everyone else should too, here is a list of 13 things about “Supernatural.” Honestly, it’s a really good show, I swear it is. (CHUD)
For a bit of Harry Potter-related humor today, here’s a complete guide to Hogwarts “yo momma” snaps. Thanks, MelBivDevoe! (Nerdist)
And here are a bunch of reasons why Hogwarts is the worst cinematic school ever. (Film School Rejects)
This is hands down my favorite thing I’ve seen on the internet all day. Not, not day, week. That’s how good it is. In related news, it turns out squirrels like the same kind of yogurt as I do. (DListed)
Jesus Christ, Sacha Baron Cohen is even pissing off terrorists now? That’s probably like, the one group of people you don’t want to piss off. (Celebitchy)
Speaking of, here are five films that Sacha Baron Cohen should remake in the style of Bruno. (Spout)
Every wonder what Charlie Brown might look like if portrayed realistically? In a word: TERRIFYING. (Flavorwire)
Ohmygodgross. Here is an article about women who want to consume their placentas following childbirth. Thanks, or, “no thanks” to DeadBessie. (Time)
Apropos of nothing, here is a tribute to Kelly Clarkson and why she’s awesome. (Yeeeah!)
Betty Draper gets off on the washing machine and fourteen other feminist moments from “Mad Men.” (Jezebel)
I’ve had a few of these The Downfall spoofs sent in recently, so thanks to celery and jM, respectively, here are “Hitler Reacts to Michael Jackson’s Death” and “Hilter’s Subtitler Gets a Cheap Font CD Off Ebay”:
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
Seriously, I hope that overgrown rat gets paid a few dollars for the product placement.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 15, 2009 1:09 PM
You know why Hogwarts is a terrible school? Those kids never learn fucking ANYTHING in their classes. The only PRACTICAL learning they seem to do happens in their extra-curricular activities. And all the background characters are morons because they don't do any of the learning Harry and his buddies do. They learn about the History of Magic (except they DON'T because the teacher's a crashing bore) but nothing of actual history and they seem to know nothing of the world. Really, the only person who ever LEARNS anything is Hermione and she's an uber nerd.
You should see the grad schools. Yes, I'm sure there are many fine jobs for people with a Masters in Magic Philosophy or Wizarding Sociology.
Posted by: branded at July 15, 2009 1:19 PM
I can't even think of anything to say about the placenta eating. I thought it was odd when my stepmother planted hers under a new tree, but apparently that was just the tip of the freakberg.
Posted by: Cindy at July 15, 2009 1:21 PM
Hitler getting kicked off Xbox Live is pretty funny too.
Posted by: annoyingmouse at July 15, 2009 1:21 PM
Because I love it and everyone else should too, here is a list of 13 things about “Supernatural.” Honestly, it’s a really good show, I swear it is. (CHUD)
That was a good read. I really do love everything about "Supernatural". And the reviewer hadn't even reached Season 4 yet, which was my favorite.
Posted by: jadeblue at July 15, 2009 1:22 PM
As a Philadelphian, nothing will ever be any better than Hitler reacting to the Cowboys missing the playoffs. But this was pretty damn good.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 15, 2009 1:22 PM
Fuckin' a Supernatural is amazing. It's a damn shame that people let pretty (sorry, scratch that, I meant panty-meltingly attractive) boys and slick production values turn them off from a fantastic show.
For a site that is so wholly pro-Whedon, I'd expect more posters and writers to give the show the chance it deserves.
Posted by: serena at July 15, 2009 1:26 PM
Stacey! I love Supernatural too! It is a good show. A damn good show. And anyone who says otherwise can suck it.
Sorry. It was the Cowboys losing to the Giants in the playoffs. Still, anything referencing a Cowboys loss is a good thing.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 15, 2009 1:30 PM
Branded, I know! Seriously, Rowling's wizard world makes no sense at all. I mean, I still love the books but they fall apart if you think too much about them.
I went to school in England in the 1960's and my school was EXACTLY like Hogwarts only without the magic. Really, it was cool. We had 4 houses, too, called Bailey, Chapman, Hume and Grey (named after former headmistresses). I was in Hume. It's color was green, and we had all the misfits. Our points were always negative.
Posted by: BWeaves at July 15, 2009 1:38 PM
The last time I tried to watch Supernatural I found the premise to be really interesting but the script itself to be mediocre with tepid-at-best dialogue.
But that was probably mid-season one, so it's been a while. Does it improve?
Posted by: twig at July 15, 2009 1:41 PM
The Placenta Eating article is pretty damn funny.
Posted by: BWeaves at July 15, 2009 1:46 PM
Love the veins in Charlie Brown's head. No wonder Lucy always picked on him. Even a stripper would pull that football.
Being a reader of Harry Potter, I thought those Yo Mamma jokes were pretty hilarious. I especially enjoyed, "Yo mamma's so fat her wand is a Slim Jim," and, "Yo mamma so nasty, the order of the phoenix was 'stay away from that bitch'."
Posted by: Kballs at July 15, 2009 1:48 PM
OK, animals in distress are NOT FUNNY. So fuck you, local news anchors. At least the dick cameraman eventually stopped filming and helped the poor squirrel out. Remember: animals have a very different perspective on things than we do, so 30 seconds of hilarity for us equals a lifetime of torment for that little guy, you unfeeling bastards.
I've not read the Potter books but I've seen the films, and those 'yo momma' snaps are freakin' hilarious. Hogwarts definitely needs some government department to step in though. The fourth movie annoyed me the most because they had little kids participating in a literally deadly contest. YOU HAVE MAGIC, YOU MORONS! Couldn't they rig the games to seem deadly but really it's all an illusion? You get nailed by some dragon fire but instead of burning to a crisp, the game just ends and you're out.
And then they even kidnap the contestants' friends and family and put them in a situation where they could die! How is that fair or remotely sane? Who would put their kids in this school?
And sorry for the placenta thing, guys. So, so sorry.
Posted by: DeadBessie at July 15, 2009 1:57 PM
Hmm, should I buy the State DVD set or $240 worth of puddin'?
I loved that pink and blue jumpsuits on a first date sketch, but I also love to Cook and Chill.
Posted by: amanda47 at July 15, 2009 1:58 PM
Placenta eating? Seriously? What the fuck? That shit is messed up! Is that even safe? I mean really, who has done the studies to prove it? Damn it! I want some frakkin answers, 'cause that shit ain't right.
Hogwarts is a terrible school because their sport involves flying really high and really fast and having someone else hit a speeding ball at you! That's not safe! I'd totally still go there though.
Those Hitler videos are hysterical.
Also, placenta eating is sadly something I've heard about before. Like, some of my friends in high school had crazy hippie mothers that ate their placentas. I knew someone whose mother kept one of the placentas in her freezer. True story.
so 30 seconds of hilarity for us equals a lifetime of torment for that little guy, you unfeeling bastards.
It's a fucking squirrel. It obviously got stuck because it couldn't let those hard-to-reach chips go.
There's only 14 billion where that one came from. And before you ask, squirrels burned down my neighbor's house, so yes, they CAN all fuck off.
Posted by: twig at July 15, 2009 2:24 PM
buc, no! it promotes snarkyness and horniness.
Posted by: figgy at July 15, 2009 1:31 PM
---
I can't do anything for your case of the former, but I can help you with the latter, and I'm just an 18-hour flight/five-day sail/two-week drive/two-month horseback trip/seven-year walk away, depending on your urgency.
Call me.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 15, 2009 2:33 PM
I wasn't totally serious about the squirrel comment, you know. I guess I should have used the sarcasm font. Although I would still drop everything to help him, rather than point and laugh.
There are chips in yogurt now? I might reassess my yogurt-is-gross stance.
Posted by: DeadBessie at July 15, 2009 2:37 PM
You all know very well my patronus is a PIE!
Posted by: Stacy D at July 15, 2009 2:40 PM
hitler, much like gary coleman or a virulent strain of HPV, is the gift that keeps on giving.
Posted by: celery at July 15, 2009 2:46 PM
Sorry DeadBessie, I sometimes torture myself with the Cute Overload comments section where every animal of all time ever is being horribly abused and it is all VRY SRS BSNS.
Um...doesn't eating plancenta make you a cannibal? It is the consumption of human flesh. I'm right arn't I?
Posted by: androstarr at July 15, 2009 2:55 PM
Um...doesn't eating plancenta make you a cannibal? It is the consumption of human flesh.
Well since it was once a part of her, I'd consider it masocannibalism.
Posted by: jM at July 15, 2009 3:08 PM
twig, that's why I no longer read the comments there EVER. I'm content to look at the cuteness and move on. Speaking of CO, there's a cute squirrel video there today too... he's eating an ice cream cone. Out of someone's hand. I *heart* squirrels.
androstarr, I don't really know that placenta counts as "flesh", per se. However, I can tell you that once upon a time I watched some program on television in which I ACTUALLY WATCHED PEOPLE CONSUME THEIR PLACENTA. Needless to say, after I was through barfing everywhere, I promptly blocked the whole damn thing out of my mind. Until today. So, yeah, thanks, DeadBessie. Thanks alot.
Given that this is Pajiba, I expected a lot of additional entries for "best gay sex scenes in movies." So it's just me, huh? OK, here goes:
There's a vigorous make-out scene between Thomas Jane and Vincent D'Onofrio in "The Velocity According to Gary." Be forewarned, though, the movie sucks balls (along with a couple of the main characters).
The Supernatural link was pretty awesome. So were the Hitler videos. Today is also pretty awesome because it's my 29th birthday.
Posted by: bignick at July 15, 2009 3:49 PM
I want to eat my placenta, should I ever have a child. Not for nutrients or to be close to my baby or anything like that. I want to eat my placenta just for the sake of having eaten a placenta. Like, if I or anyone close to me ever have to have a limb amputated, I want to barbeque that thing up.
I'm not really phased by eating gross things, I guess. The grossest thing I've ever eaten so far is cod semen. I think I can top that.
Posted by: jess at July 15, 2009 5:19 PM
twig,
yes, it improves a lot. Season one had some potential but suffered from, well, season one-itis, in that it didn't really have a proper tone yet, or what they did have wasn't working too well. And some episodes were, frankly, shitty writing (and were later made fun of to great effect in the most recent season). Season 2 was better, season 3 much better.
In other words, give it another chance, you might be surprised! That article has it down pretty well, strengths and weaknesses both.
Posted by: tarn at July 15, 2009 6:35 PM
tarn
Cool. I will check it out. Thanks.
Posted by: twig at July 15, 2009 7:36 PM
Am I the only one who really wants Pajiba to do a Bruno Ganz article now?
Posted by: Elfrieda at July 15, 2009 8:36 PM
My college roommate wrote a letter to Time and it was published in the same one as the article on placenta-eating. I linked it to my name for you lazy folk. Her name is Orly. I'm excited because this is the closest I've ever come to knowing someone famous.
Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil, plus extra for grilling or sauteing if desired
3/4 cup finely chopped red onion
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 quart chicken stock or broth
1 cup coarse ground cornmeal
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 ounces Parmesan, grated
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a large, oven-safe saucepan heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the red onion and salt and sweat until the onions begin to turn translucent, approximately 4 to 5 minutes. Reduce the heat to low, add the garlic, and saute for 1 to 2 minutes, making sure the garlic does not burn.
Turn the heat up to high, add the chicken stock, bring to a boil. Gradually add the cornmeal while continually whisking. Once you have added all of the cornmeal, cover the pot and place it in the oven. Cook for 35 to 40 minutes, stirring every
10 minutes to prevent lumps. Once the mixture is creamy, remove from the oven and add the butter, salt, and pepper. Once they are incorporated, gradually add the Parmesan.
Serve as is, or pour the ...
Oh wait, I thought you said POLENTA.
Placenta? Ewwwww.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 15, 2009 10:24 PM
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I love all of the comments informing viewers that the subtitles are, indeed, wrong.
What? Wait... really?
Posted by: missh at July 16, 2009 7:08 AM
The placenta article was both gross and extremely funny. Props to the author for pulling that off.
I? Did not eat my placenta. In fact, I remember being in the post-delivery haze and the ob/gyn asking me if I wanted to see it. I peered at something that yes, looked very much like the author's description, and said, "Oh, that's gross." I'm not so much of an earth mother as I'd thought I was.
Hitler finding about the DBZ movie is funnier.