free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 07/09/07 | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

The Simpsons Movie spoilers! Woohoo! (Celebitchy)

I kinda try to stay away from anything containing gratuitous “Nut Burst.” (Junkiness)

Ahhhahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. (Slowly Going Bald)

Ladies and gentlemen? The biggest scourge facing America right now? Terrorism. Crack. War. Lesbian Gangs. (Feministing)

Iced Tea is good. Especially in the summer. Hey, it’s summer now! You know what would be great? If I could just lather myself up and bathe in Iced Tea. Yeah, that’s the ticket. (The Impulsive Buy)

Hey hey! You you! I didn’t write this shitty song! No way! No way! Neither did my ghost writer! (YesButNoButYes)

Vermillion doesn’t hate vegetarians. But he’s got no problems calling you “leafheads,” either. (Vermillion’s Brain Receptacle)

Well, to be fair, it’s not much fun to work around anyone who smells like they took a sitz bath in shitty perfume. But lawsuit bad? Hmm… (QuizLaw)

Spinal Tap performing at Live Earth, after the jump!

Pajiba Love | July 9, 2007 | Comments (20)


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Comments

Re: Spinal Tap -
I liked this little comment of theirs during their rendition of "Big Bottom".

"Bassist ______, with Madonna!"
"Other bassist _____, Madonna!"


"Who HASN'T been with Madonna?"

Oh Christopher Guest, please never die.

Posted by: AL at July 9, 2007 3:47 PM

I can't stand Avril Lavigne. I watched the first bit of the Rubinoos video, thinking, "eh. not really seeing the rip-off..."

And then the chorus came on.

Avril, you owe someone some motherfuckin' money.

And thank you Vermillion for, as usual, stating something far more eloquently than I am able to.

Posted by: TK at July 9, 2007 3:58 PM

I loved this nugget from O'Reilly's Fucking Idiot Guest No. 1, Detective Dumbshit: "These gangs carry a number of weapons and commit a number of crimes." Oh, really, Doctor? Wow, "a number." That's impressive. Would that number be ... um ... one? Two? Moron.

Frankly, that piece seemed more amusing than anything else because of O'Reilly's flailing desperation over his growing irrelevance. Attempting to sensationalize a story with the tired stereotype that gays and lesbians recruit children -- "lawless gay people ... all over the country" -- well, it sounds like something Paul Harvey would trot out for his wheezing, dust-farting audience of geriatric ignorami who listen to the radio because they haven't gotten TV in Bumblefuck, Mississippi yet.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 9, 2007 4:06 PM

Great piece, Vermillion. Evolution designed humans to subsist on whatever is available to provide nutrition, including other animals. Omnivore status is a hardwired, valuable survival trait, plain and simple.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 9, 2007 4:10 PM

Spinal Tap reunion was the only part of Live Earth worth watching for me. "Hello Wimbledon" had me rolling. I could have watched them do their whole soundtrack and kick a bunch of the others (I'm looking at you Pussy Cat Dolls) out of their spots.

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 9, 2007 4:27 PM

Avril needs to stop the lies and pay up.

Posted by: Candy at July 9, 2007 5:02 PM

Most definitley an non-gender specific or non-traditional relationship requireing ripoff.

Very PC of you Avril, but it is still a rip-off.

By the way, very cool performance by Tap. Diling up the Bass way past 11.

Posted by: Brian at July 9, 2007 5:04 PM

*enters from stage left*

Isn't 'leafheads' what they call themselves? I thought they were taking it back! Honest!

You know what? I never called anyone a 'leafhead'. Never did.

Okay, I was wrong for calling them leafheads. I am seeking therapy for my anger and entering rehab for my meat addiction.

You know what? They are only treating me this way because I am black. I ain't no house boy, going yes'suh and no'suh. The vegetable lobby is racist.

*takes a bow, exits stage right*

Now for my moment of shame: I STILL have not seen "This is Spinal Tap". In fact, the only Guest film I have seen all the way through is "A Mighty Wind".

It is funny to me that the guy on O'Reilly yapping about supposed pink-gun wielding lesbian gangs is sitting there wearing a pink shirt with matching tie and handkerchief. Where I'm from, you only dress like that if you are a pimp (closest analogue to a metrosexual I could find) or closeted. Either way, he is hard to take seriously.

And frankly, my life could use more women making out with each other. I really can't see a downside. I mean, I am not getting laid anyway, so I might as well enjoy the scenery.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 9, 2007 5:04 PM

Vermillion, I'm sure my mother would love your article, since everytime the whole "eating vegetables is the way nature meant!" discussion comes up, she gets a murdurous gleam in her eye. She's got stomach issues that flare up when she eats veggies, fruits, lots of grains, or anything that's not pure carbohydrate or protein. She would live on steak and potatoes, happily, were it feasible. And she's not overweight or extraordinarily unhealthy either, just kind of bitter at the world. The non-steak world.

My classical-bass playing self wishes that Spinal Tap had gotten some REAL basses up there for "Big Bottom". The orchestra at my University had 9 basses last year, that's some big bottom for you.

Posted by: Genny at July 9, 2007 5:10 PM

Man, we vegetarians suffer the reputation for being strident and self-righteous... but the steak lover confronted with questions about his steak-loving? You all do gleam from within, don't you?

Look, there are lots of things our bodies were designed to do but we don't do anymore (elsewise you'd see a whole lot of knocked up 12 year olds). There's only one good reason to eat meat: it tastes good. And, believe me, I think that's a more than adequate reason to do so. Even so, there are a lot more reasons (moral, environmental, health, etc) not to.

But, whatever, dude - I've been blown through more than my share of Parliaments, so who am I to judge? I'm just saying, you've got to own your vices.

Posted by: megbon at July 9, 2007 7:19 PM

And more power to you megbon; I do respect your choice to not eat meat. And yes, there are a lot of carnivores that need to be slapped as well. My little tirade was more about zealots than veggies. It just so happened that the example of said zealotry happened to be self-professed vegans.

As far as the reasons against that you mentioned, I feel those stem more from the system that produces the meat we consume, more than the actual consumption. The cruelty like that in "Our Daily Bread" is completely unnecessary; stripping loads of rain forest to build cattle farms is abhorrent; and as I said, people need to take a hard look at their diets and stop taking shortcuts.

But it isn't the actual eating of meat that is bad, it is HOW it is being consumed. If half of America cut down on the burgers, we could shut down just as many cattle farms, and there would be no need for injections and all that other crap that they make money off of. And it infuriates me when people get up, professing that their way is the only way while conveniently ignoring other aspects of the issue.

Maybe there are those that are not comfortable with eating animals, and I respect that they feel that way. I only ask for the same respect in return, and not to be treated like a rambunctious child, getting my hand slapped for sticking it into the cookie jar, which in this case is full of meat.

My point is: unless you get out in public and start yelling at everyone that eating meat is some sort of sin, I don't have a problem with you. And the day I start acting like an ass and getting into your face about what really isn't any of my business, feel free to smack me down, for I will deserve it.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 9, 2007 7:46 PM

"Own your vices"? Okay: I drink too much. There's naught but empty calories there, though Friday Pajiba readers might tell you that Pajiba is my church and the gin bottle is the steeple.

As one who suffers from a laundry list of digestive problems, as with Genny's mom, meat is not some luxury or lifestyle choice for me. Gluten- and lactose-intolerance, along with a healthy dose of IBS that makes soy and legume products an adventure, puts a powerful strain on my list of options. Chicken, fish, pork, lamb, and rabbit (oui, mon petit lapin!) are easy to digest and happen to be on my naturally-occurring metabolic menu. It's not right or wrong, just as the vegan's or vegetarian's choice is not right or wrong; it just is. Pardon me while I don't limit myself to rice and lettuce for the next fifty years.

The self-righteous (and ignorant) statement that "There's only one good reason to eat meat" simply confirms Vermillion's points about the one-side preachiness of this "debate." And using the knocking up of 12-year-olds as a biological comparitor rains a lot of bullshit-scented irony on the "gleam from within" comment.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 9, 2007 8:08 PM

Vermilion - I got 30 seconds intot he video, saw the tie, shirt and kercheif combo and had to stop watching it. Made it looked like a skit. No way to take it seriously (if ever possibel with O'reilly)

Posted by: Brian at July 9, 2007 8:34 PM

I think I'll ignore the hysterical postings of socalledonlycousin and go straight to Vermillion. I honestly have never tried to convert anyone ever on anything (that's a total lie: I am a Battlestar Galactica apostle, man - I preach on that show, and I furthermore confess to more than a few "But George Bush is totally evil" conversations). I think you're right: moderation is absolutely the key in all things. Eat fewer burgers, fewer environmentally devastating farms.

To be fair, perhaps I'm less likely to hear people stridently urging me to go meat free since, after all, I already have. I think we're in agreement: this world could probably do with a lot less zealotry all together.

Except about Battlestar Galactica.

Oh, and, dude, you HAVE to see Spinal Tap. It is the standard to which all Christopher Guest movies are held.

Posted by: megbon at July 9, 2007 9:01 PM

For anyone who is vegetarian or is considering it, I'd encourage you to google the effects of soy on your thyroid. The only reason I ran across the debate was because a vegetarian friend of mine was diagnosed with thyroid cancer (Hurthle Cell Carcinoma)and I was putzing around looking for info on it. Obviously there's no definitive link between the two, but it's enough to make you nervous.

Posted by: Sally at July 9, 2007 9:41 PM

Battlestar Galactica. Now you are talking my language. Even if you are a leafhead. ;)

Posted by: Vermillion at July 9, 2007 10:10 PM

I like "Leafhead." I may let my husband start calling me that and I'll start calling him "Meathead." Or keep calling him Meathead... either one works.

Posted by: megbon at July 9, 2007 10:34 PM

"valuable survival trait, plain and simple."

Survival from what?

Posted by: Mike B. at July 10, 2007 6:50 AM

I know I watch too much "Office" when this popped into my head:

We talked about omnivores (BEARS for example), vegetarians (who eat BEETS) and of course BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 10, 2007 7:07 AM

alright, I gotta stick up for the iced tea body wash. even though I'm a legal adult and all that, I still vacation a bit with my parents and "iced tea twist" beats the other vaguely disgusting body wash scents like "lick my peach" and "pop my cherry" (or whatever they're called) in shower scents I'd mind my parents seeing. they're midwestern lutherans, you know.

Posted by: shyestviolet at July 10, 2007 11:56 AM