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Pajiba Love

Good. Lord. Huge, sexy props to Rich at FourFour for making one of the most brilliant internet videos I have ever seen in my life. Or at least, the part of my life of which the internet has been around for. (FourFour)

The list of the best racks in Hollywood is totally sexist, in that no men were included. (WIMB)

OK, I’ve read through the details new abortion law three times now and it still isn’t making a lick of sense to me. (QuizLaw)

Really, now? There actually is modern hip hop that doesn’t suck? Well, damn. This is news to me. (MusicIsTheMessage)

Courtney Love has a self-professed alter ego named “Cherry Kookoo.” So I take it Cherry must be the one who’s doing all the drugs, then? (Celebitchy)

Who says Jim Carrey has lost his touch for improvisational prop comedy? (Yeeeah!)

Really, people: I can’t stress this enough: whether writing gossip blogs or searching for softcore porn whilst at your workstation; become familiar with your browser’s internet options. (SlowlyGoingBald)

The role of George W is clearly what Josh Brolin’s entire acting career has been leading up to before now. (Film Experience)

A new study shows that babies do not necessarily equal marital bliss. (Jezebel) You know Mrs. Rod is all: “Now you fucking tell me.” (WIMB)

“The working title is: Gorgasm colon the legend of dongslave.” In other words, it’s time for a friendly game of: Attribute! That! 30 Rock Quote! (TVFallsInTheWoods)

Cindy Brady is finally getting into her “out of control child star” phase, about thirty years too late. (The Blemish)

After the jump, Larry David wants to cure cancer, much for the same motivations of pretty much anything that Larry David does: purely selfish ones.

Pajiba Love | July 7, 2008 | Comments (24)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Well, A-Rod certainly does have a bit of a thing for muscle-bound chicks. At least he's consistent - off the field. Zing!

Posted by: Kolby at July 7, 2008 3:44 PM

That Jezebel article is spot on, especially the last few sentences. I cannot wrap my head around people who actually think that a baby would make a marriage happier. I would say it's the exact opposite, you just better hope your marriage is really strong to begin with to weather the children storm. But I'd also be interested in a study that tracked people's happiness later in life, between those with grown children and those who never had any. That's what I'm banking on baby.

Posted by: katy at July 7, 2008 4:03 PM

Aw, man, poor Cindy Brady! I thought she held herself together pretty well for someone that hungover.

Posted by: megbon at July 7, 2008 4:35 PM

Oh my God do I ever hate what hip hop has become. Hip Hop used to have meaning and relevance. Now most mainstream rappers either sound like they're rapping through a Stephen Hawkings voice box, or else have a terrible case of Tourettes. Take, for example, this oh so eloquent and thoughtful line from Soulja Boy's (Oh God, it even hurts to write his stupid, stupid name) masterpiece, "YAAAH!"

"Bitch, Yahhh, Yahhh, Trick And your friend, Yahhh, Yahhh Too!"

Truly, he is a revolutionary.

Though TK, you forgot K-OS. But you remembered Atmosphere, so I'll let it slip. Great fucking article.

Posted by: Jeremy at July 7, 2008 4:51 PM

The first thing wrong with the Jezebel article is the use of quotes from an FSU professor. There is no such thing as an FSU professor - anyone even remotely familiar with that "school" knows they don't have professors. They probably don't even have classrooms.

And there is plenty wrong with the study they're discussing. I'd say that if you're not happy to begin with, then having kids won't make you happy. If you are a relatively happy human being, in a relatively happy relationship, then you're probably going to remain relatively happy once you have children. And you'll probably experience different kinds of happiness than someone who doesn't have children. There's really no way to pinpoint what makes people happy, and certainly not with one study - we're all just different enough to find happiness in different things.

Posted by: Kolby at July 7, 2008 4:51 PM

Jeremy, while your submission is one of the worst "songs" ever, I have my personal song that signaled the end of hip hop.

Master P - "Make em' say Unnh"

I hate that song with the white hot passion of a thousand firey suns and a few dozen flamethrowers.

Nice TK. I miss Lauren Hill. Her solo album is awesome.

Posted by: Melody at July 7, 2008 5:00 PM

It's depressing that people categorize the bullshit we hear on the radio as genuine rap & hip-hop when there are so many decent artists to hear; underground and otherwise. I recognized some of those on TK's list (Blackalicious, Little Brother, Danger Mouse) and even some who are truly "mainstream" like Common, The Roots have managed to keep their sound intact. I hate that those morons like Snoop and Lil Bow Wow/Mama/Joe...(whoever, there are so many) dominate the charts and get all the recognition.

Posted by: Brie at July 7, 2008 5:07 PM

I have many, many babies. In many states and in many countries. My seed is pure, therefore it demands a high price. I've surrounded myself with luxury items and the finest Scarface paraphernalia. Minimus' claw is decked out in a bedazzled glove, and my teeth are encased in gold. I welcome ladies to my home by dressing them with expensive bathing suits and allowing them to soak in my Cristal-filled hot-tub. I feed them the choicest Steak-Um sandwiches and tell stories of my travels throughout the Midwest. When the conversation runs dry, the lights dim and the magic begins. Afterward, I threat them to a post-coital Swisher Sweet and call them a cab. Money is never discussed as Minimus goes through their purses while we are tangled in the throes of intimacy.

I am a lonely man.

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at July 7, 2008 5:10 PM

Dear Skits,

You are nine kinds of awesome. That is all.

Love and Jelly Bellies,
Sarina

PS - Out of sheer morbid curiosity, by any chance do any of your many, many babies look like the one in the header picture of today's box office round-up?

Posted by: Sarina at July 7, 2008 5:23 PM

Sweet, merciful Christ, I hope not... What the hell is that thing from anyways? I'm almost as bothered by that freaky thing as I am by the tramp in the purple pants... Yeesh.

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at July 7, 2008 5:54 PM

The purple-panted tramp amuses me. Her hair (due to what I can only hope for her sake is simply an unfortunate angle) looks like either a spiky mullet or the result of an accident involving copious amounts of liquor and a lawn trimmer. Also, there's something about the way she's standing... like a zombie with rheumatoid arthritis who was just told, "Oi! Come back! We've got brains! Over here! Tasty braaaaaaains!" Like at any second she will lurch around and commit violence upon your person, and then lick your skull from the inside.

Posted by: Sarina at July 7, 2008 6:13 PM

I'm glad someone else brought up the disturbing purple pantsed one. That picture makes me want to jam one of those stupid tiny heels into her temple.

Posted by: katy at July 7, 2008 6:14 PM

So I actually went ahead and clicked on the strange woman with the big purple ass...As it turns out, She was smuggling the inbred children of The Solid Gold Dancers in her rectum. Who knew?

Melody: I googled the lyrics for "Make 'Em Say Uh!", and you're right. We have reached new and unimaginable heights of "D'ERRRRRRRRR!"

Posted by: Jeremy at July 7, 2008 7:13 PM

Word Kolby momma. I can think of not ONE relationship in my life that hasn't been strengthened & improved by the birth of my beautiful baby girl, family or friend. No snark, no sarcasm, no nothin- she made me a better person and made me appreciate things more. That article can go fuck itself.

I have a kick ass husband who lets me be an online lesbian, friends that drive cross country when needed and things were happy before little bird joined us. After? better. It's who you are that makes you happy.

PS- if parents are more UNhappy, it's because work/life balance sucks balls, because it costs an ever loving fortune to keep a kid healthy and well cared for and oh yeah, the schools are failing and it costs twice as much to feed your family. But yeah... it's the having kids part that makes you miserable. yeah.

Posted by: lilianna28 at July 7, 2008 7:21 PM

Why is she turned around like that anyhow?

Where the hell is her other arm?

What did happen to her hair?

Is she hiding something?

WHY IS SHE SCREAMING INTO THE OVE... wait... wrong question.

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at July 7, 2008 7:22 PM

sorry, the NEWSWEEK article can go fuck it self, Jezebel is cool. muh bad.

Posted by: lilianna28 at July 7, 2008 7:28 PM

Perhaps I already had great enough relationships with husband/family/friends in the first place that the only place for a time starved, sleep deprived, sanity tested person to go was down. Ten years of routine marital bliss without children probably didn't help things either. Geez, what was I thinking? I'm obviously one of those horrible mothers who just don't find mommyhood to be the apex of my life. One child was fairly easy to adjust to, but two? I don't feel bad saying that there is no way my marriage (wasn't that the original topic Stacey brought up?) was made stronger. We have been severely tested over and over in the last six months since daughter number two came along, but fortunately we're a pretty tough roach to kill. Perhaps I'll feel differently in a year or so.

Posted by: katy at July 7, 2008 8:03 PM

And I'm sure the author of the parenthood/happiness study that is the primary source for the Newsweek/Jezebel articles, whose pretty impressive and extensive research on marriage and families can be viewed by doing a simple Google scholar search, would love to hear from some random person out there that she's not a "real" professor. But why should we listen to peer reviewed research with impressively large sample sizes when we can learn everything we need from people on the interwebs?

Posted by: katy at July 7, 2008 8:39 PM

katy, the article is annoying for several reasons. One, it states that the concept that children make you happy is FALSE (caps, in a red circle). It glosses over some of the reasons why parenthood is stressful and equates "bliss" with "happiness" and ignores adjectives like "fulfilling," purposeful" or "more thoughtful."

As I'm certain you'd find an article that states "having children Makes You Happier! TRUE!" seriously annoying as you round out month 6 with your second, so too is it annoying to have an article so certainly proclaim it to be false. It's another side of the mommy wars coin, only instead of this one saying "you're a SHIT MOM for reasons xyz," it says "kids make ya' miserable". It's the newsweek article that is super annoying.

Give us all 14 years or so? With teenagers? we'll all be shit moms, so no worries. Mommy wars hits Pajibaverse- and the zombies ate the mommies and it was All Better.

Can I tell you I clicked on every fricking link tryng to find the purple-bottomed subject of conversation before I figured out it's the annoying-ass ad (that cannot be done away with through Mac genius, as far as I can see). So my contribution- anyone else think the word "slack" is an ugly, ugly word? The font isn't helping. Slack. Round fat font for skinny pants that are ugly. Seems consistent at least.

Posted by: lilianna28 at July 7, 2008 8:45 PM

All I want to know is: why isn't the internet a-buzz with talk about Jim Carrey's package? You'd think that would be the punch-line for those pictures -- I mean, I know black is slimming and all that but ...

Posted by: hater from siloam springs at July 7, 2008 10:22 PM

So somebody thinks there is rap and hiphop that doesn't suck. There are still people who think disco was great. To top it off they give a Grammy every freaking year for the best polka album too. Assemble a list of the top 20 polka tunes while you're at it. Nobody will ever match the pure genius that was "Roll Out the Barrel."

Posted by: OscarTamerz at July 7, 2008 10:41 PM

Well, you certainly won't hear disagreement from me that the Newsweek article generalized the findings in order to sensationalize the story. And despite the overall tone of the Jezebel version of the article the last part about loving your kids so much that you're dumbstruck by it shouldn't be ignored.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to night two of sleep training the baby. Woo hoo!

Posted by: katy at July 7, 2008 11:06 PM

Anyone here bemoaning the fate of madern hip-hop must needs go rent Dave Chappelle's Block Party. It is Teh Shit, the bands all kick serious ass, and OH YEAH, it reminds you that hip hop once had a point - a voice - something to say.

Erikah Badu is still a freak from another dimension - in the most appealing way possible. She kicks eight kinds of ass. (Jill Scott's segment is magnificent as well).

OH YEAH (again), and Dave's standup and improv are legendary. Seriously, ya'll, it'll wash the taste of Soulja Boy right outta your mouths.

Posted by: Tammy at July 8, 2008 12:35 AM

Every time I see the ad with the too-tight purple pants I read it as "The Slim Sack," which makes me smirk. Is that bad?

As for hip-hop, I compare it to disco a little... there's so much garbage under the name "Disco" that the crap completely overshadows the gems and now people make fun of that style. I haven't followed hip-hop closely, mostly because all I've heard sounded like crap to me so I lost interest quickly, but I imagine there's a similar kind of thing going on.

Posted by: Darcy at July 8, 2008 12:32 PM





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