Pajiba

The Baconator. Love it. Love it STRONG. Take it to the movies and let it pick the movie. Hold hands with it while you walk back to the car, making flirty little winkies at it. When you get into the car, pretend that the car needs to warm up before leaving, even though it's a 2005. Stare longingly into it's slices of American cheese and strips of crispy bacon. When it looks away, move in for a quick bite. It's shocked...but intrigued. It offers it's buns to you, begging you to...Oh, ummm, wow. Sorry about that folks.

Mmmm... Coronary Sandwich... mmmm...

Thank God I stopped eating fast food, because I would've RUN out to get me some baconator.

ScarJo's piercing is stupid. But then, I'm not a fan of the bull-ring piercing in general. Those and those dumbass ones through the cheek have got to be the worst.

LS, if it makes you feel any better, I cancelled my Yahoo account a long time ago. And if it will help further, I will storm their headquarters, find the head of OMG (stupid fucking name) and stuff baconators down their throats until they explode into a wet goo. Perhaps even shoot squirrels at them.

Yum...bacon,hamburger,cheese...The baconator might want to kill you, but at least you can die happy!

Manny - You seriously just made me wet my pants a little bit, although I fear for anyone who walks in on you during your first encounter with THE BACONATOR.

Jerce - I've been meaning to track down the Chicago Kwik-E-Mart, although I'm not actually sure the Squishee will be anything other than a Slurpee with a name change. The 7-11 down my block has cups that SAY Squishee, but it's no different. Can't speak for the other products, though...

Man, my boyfriend's gonna wanna try the Baconator. I guess I should learn CPR now, eh?

Scarlett Johansson meets Bullwinkle. Niiiice.

I want Krusty-O's! And Duff Beer! And an Apu to dress up like a cowboy and say "Howwwwdy, Homer"!

Oh, and Happy Belated Canada Day! Got some fun drunk dials this weekend from my BC friends, which are always entertaining :)

ok, their coolness or lack thereof aside - drew and whatshisname were making out in a bar? seriously? i never have considered myself a prude, but after about 7th grade, the idea of making out in public just seemed really stupid. and skeazy. and it looks like that nosering is hurting ScarJo or making it hard to breathe. or maybe she's an idiot.

litely, that video just makes me angry -- how could Pajiba show that? Hmmm? That human person was clearly asleep, and those ... those ... those RUFFIANS took advantage of him, certainly causing bodily injury, and possibly his death -- I sure didn't see any aerial gymnastics to indicate he landed on his feet! I'm sure the PERPS are being violated in prison right now ... since. they're. not. squirrels.

In terms of a forgive-me present, "ball gag and a set of nipple clamps" actually works if you're with the right kind of girl. Or the wrong kind, I mean. "Strap-on and anal lube"? Only if you're with Animal Control Enforcement, and in that case, you can leave out the lube.

As for War Criminal Number One, El Presidente, commuting Skippy's, I mean Scooter's, sentence is just another on a long list of impeachment-worthy offenses, folks. It isn't even close to the worst thing he's done; not even in the top twenty. We can start with the intentional, fraud-based slaughter of a hundred thousand civilians and move down from there.

My beloved Buffy in baggyass satin shorts?
Kill me now.

Dude,

Why do you have to rag on us for working tomorrow? You get more holidays than us. Where's our Martin Luther King Jr. Day? We should let freedom ring, not our alarm clocks! Where's our Veteran's Day? Sure we have a Remembrance Day, but what we have to remember is to get our asses in school/work on time. Sure, we have a Thanksgiving, but I wish ours were on a Thursday instead of a Monday, because I'd be thinking 'Thanks for the four day weekend'.

I mean, I would say something about how we don't rub your faces in it when we have a holiday and you don't, but I can't because that NEVER HAPPENS. I mean, if we have one, it's matched by something like Columbus Day (really?) And Victoria Day gets matched by Memorial Day. American bretheren, don't laugh at our lack of holidays, pity us. It gets so cold, AND so hot here (YES IT DOES), and most days there's nothing to console us except our schools and/or jobs that we hate. But Ron Sexsmith was really good on Sunday.

I think Drew Barrymore may possibly be exempt from all judgement over her future choices concerning men becuase of the "Well at least he's better than Tom Green" caveat.

Ooooh, maybe that's why she dated Tom Green. There can't be another reason, right?

I, personally, am still giggling over the "-apult" suffix.

Ahh, c'mon! I heart our Canadian readers. But I thought it might be worse to wish everybody a Happy 4th knowing a good portion of Pajiba's readership isn't American.

Yeah, and what TK said -- Canadians, Brits, Aussies -- rest assured. At least your leaders aren't "psychotic retards."

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go celebrate by cramming a couple of Baconators down my gullet, washing it down with a pounder of Bud Light and blowing my fuckin' hand off with an M-80. God Bless America. ;)

TK, litely: I was kind of thinking about that rigid ideologue stuff, but I didn't want to say anything today because I thought it would be kind of rude. Hope it's not raining where you are like it is here. Have a happy Fourth.