free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 07/02/08 | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

Devo.jpg

Pajiba Love

Devo is suing McDonald’s and “American Idol” for ripping off their image, but mostly because they just don’t like either franchise. Buuurn! (Celebitchy)

Tambor is in, everybody! (CC Insider)

Another season of the critically acclaimed “A Shot of Antibiotics with Tila Tequila” draws to a close and — spoiler alert — a skank won! (WIMB)

Oh, Jesus. Couldn’t he have just said he needed the pee to pass a drug test? Anything is gonna be better than the truth, here. (QuizLaw)

Good lord, people: bananas have their own wrapping! It’s like nature’s cellophane! Seriously, this is the kind of shit that provoked The Happening. (Serious Eats)

The Top Ten films of the year thus far. Wait a minute, these aren’t arranged by quality, are they? No way does Carrie Bradshaw kick Iron Man’s big metal ass! (Film Experience)

The Lindsay and Ali Lohan’s alleged illegitimate half-sister wants a recording contract. She’s a Lohan, all right! (Yeeeah!)

From Ms. Kolby: finally, decent affordable clothing to outfit the gal on the go with 16 children from five different husbands. (FLDS)

The babies are coming, OK? Everyone just settle the fuck down already. (The Blemish)

McDonald’s has a fancy new brownie which is as dense as the words that come out of Spencer Pratt’s mouth. (TIB)

OK, as much as I loved the 1985 live-action Alice in Wonderland — yeah, Carol Channing was a little bit … unsettling. (Jezebel)

Pretty much the only thing funnier than a person riding a Segway is a person getting horribly injured in a Segway disaster. (YBNBY)

Today’s clip made its way around the internets late last week; but if you missed out or just want to hear it again for the first time, here is Dimitri the Stud, after the jump.

Pajiba Love | July 2, 2008 | Comments (30)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.









← Audition | Elementary, My Dear Pajiba →


Comments

Not entirely sure how I missed out on Dmitri before, but MAN that guy needs a muzzle!

Creeeeepy. And, judging by the area code, he lives in my city.

Posted by: Pea at July 2, 2008 3:47 PM

I am firmly in the "Angelina's too skinny" camp. And seriously, you cannot tell me that she doesn't look freaky in that picture -- and not it a good way.

Posted by: Todd at July 2, 2008 3:48 PM

Banana are not meant to be individually wrapped. It just seems wrong to isolate them in little cellophane prisons. Those bananas are meant to live freely in packs with the rest of its kind. We must save those bananas.

Also, I laughed hysterically at the Segway kid who smashed his face against the car. I am a terrible human being.

Posted by: Jeremy at July 2, 2008 3:53 PM

because he apparently want to drink little boy piss.

Ummm...I've just looked it up, and there are apparently no stronger words to express simultaneous disgust, nausea, species shame, and utter and complete loathing than....EW. I'm gonna need a minute to get my lunch back under control.

...
...
...

...just...EWWWW

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 2, 2008 4:02 PM

OK. Re: the LDS Clothes. If you haven't ever heard of wholesomewear, it's this site that sells super conservative bathing suits for girls - like, full body culottes. Funniest. Ever.

http://www.wholesomewear.com/page-3.html

Posted by: HB at July 2, 2008 4:03 PM

OK. Re: the LDS Clothes. If you haven't ever heard of wholesomewear

I always wondered where nuns shopped when they wanted to get frisky and expose an ankle to the sun.

Enough about Herpes Drunken One-Night Stand Tequiila. I hope this is the very last we'll hear of this petulant, pseudo-celebuslut who thinks she should get everything she wants because she's beautiful. Sweet Godtopus...there's something wrong with the world when I begin to wish for Paris Hilton back.

Devo was, is, and always will be, the shit.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 2, 2008 4:10 PM

HB- I nearly pissed myself just reading the homepage. I may get fired and/or ruin my desk chair if I dare to check out the actual fashions.

Posted by: Kolby at July 2, 2008 4:11 PM

From the Desk of Vermillion

Damn you, Tila Tequila.

I thought that having a bisexual dating show would lbe fun. But no, you had to turn it into something tawdry. Now, whenever I look at my "special movies", I wonder if the women kissing (and more) are only doing it for the cameras. Before that unholy show, I could appreciate the female form pressed against the other female form.

Your antics just make it seem so...so....dirty.

I hate you.

Signed,
Vermillion

P.S. I hear there is this guy named Dmitri who is looking for some company...

Posted by: Vermillion at July 2, 2008 4:18 PM

Oh Vermilion...don't let her ruin your special movies for you. She's a freak of nature. The girls in our movies are obviously doing it for their own pleasure...and hey! what a surprise! there happens to be a camera crew in the room at the same time.

However...thank you for your hate. With our combined powers, we can give her a nasty rash from the force of our evil glares.

Or maybe thats just from the vietnamese transvestite and its dog she met at the train station last night....

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 2, 2008 4:24 PM

my sole contribution to the day:

The Muppets Get Patriotic.

Posted by: twig at July 2, 2008 4:25 PM

Holy shit, twig...don't let Julie see that. She'll be SQUEEing all the way to the beach.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 2, 2008 4:26 PM

Kolby, you would be doing yourself a great disservice by not venturing onward. It just gets better...and so many options!

Posted by: HB at July 2, 2008 4:27 PM

That is so beyond awesome I may squee myself. Bookmarked. Thank you, twig

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 2, 2008 4:28 PM

!!!!!! Sam Eagle! SWEDISH CHEF!! BORK!

I love you Twig.

Posted by: Julie at July 2, 2008 4:40 PM

Um, does Beaker remind anyone else of Large Marge?

Posted by: Kolby at July 2, 2008 4:46 PM

It's the crazy eyes, Kolby. But Large Marge is MUCH scarier.

Posted by: Julie at July 2, 2008 4:59 PM

HB: How amazing that not a single one of their swimsuit models is shown in the water, or even slightly damp. I call shenanigans on that nonsense. Those "swimsuits" are a recipe for drowned puritans.

Posted by: elizabeth at July 2, 2008 5:25 PM

WAIT WAIT WAIT!

You do know that the girl Tila picked turned down her proposal, right?

The story is not over.

Posted by: Jay at July 2, 2008 5:31 PM

MUPPETS! SQUeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And those bathing suites are horrible. I've seen Muslim full body bathing suits that are more flattering that those. What's going on with the crotch? And with all the bathing suit fabrics out there, these only come in black and blue? It's like a bruise.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 2, 2008 5:34 PM

Oh, and the FLDS underwear. OMG. It's full body onesies, even for the teenagers. And there's no difference between the boys and girls onesies. Even the colors are the same. HAHAHHAA! So sad.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 2, 2008 5:40 PM

I'm seriously considering the "extended slimming swimmer" because I would like to preserve my modesty all the way down to the forearm and mid-calf. I once started a riot on the compound when I inadvertently exposed a shin while walking silently behind my father, who had to beat off my pursuers with his Chastity Stick. His brothers still haven't forgiven him.

Posted by: Geetch at July 2, 2008 5:52 PM

Re WholesomeWear: Way to bring me down going into the long weekend. There's nothing I like seeing at the beach like tight, wholesome Mormon or Pentecostal ass.

There are just so many things wrong with this idea. It's pretty carefully thought out design-wise, but the male drive to deflower young churchgoers in synthetic swimfrocks knows no bounds. You have:

1) Strategically placed bright colors at the neck and shoulders to draw attention to the face and away from the naughty bits. What they don't know is that I'm into armpit-humping, so the delightfully colored curve of Mormon shoulder will just give me a raging boner at the beach. Meanwhile, as I'm staring fixedly at her face because of these visual cues, I'll be wondering what expression she'll have when confronted for the first time with a raging, armpit-seeking boner.

2) "Loose fitting Taslan outergarment," which "limits cling." Again, to conceal even the potential hint of naughty bits that might be caused by God's ocean wrapping God's fabrics around God's titties and booties. Again, however, this is counterproductive. When I see that outergarment, I see a potential tent inside which my young conquest and I shuck her "spandex bodysuit" and make the beast with two backs.

3) Three different styles to choose from! But I have four wives, WholesomeWear, and they get jealous if one of them gets something the other ones don't have. Only Wife No. 3, Oompa, really needs the "Slimming Swimmer," so I'm at a loss how to distribute these things.

Irony Alert: How fucking perfect is it that the same people who want to cover up images of potential female sexuality also want to contribute to female image insecurity with the "Slimming Swimmer"? The message is that you shouldn't show off your body to the world. At the same time, if you insist on showing it off, Gargantua, you'd better slim that barrel-body down a bit. Geez 'o Pete.

By the way, Model No. 3, showing off the Slimming Swimmer, needs some serious electrolysis in the facial area.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 2, 2008 6:13 PM

Here's my contribution to the LDS clothing discussion:

http://www.latterdaybride.com/index.php

Not as amusing as the 1900's era swimwear, but interesting nonetheless.

Also, I have a pretty effed up Czech version of Alice in Wonderland featuring found object stop motion animation and sock puppets. Best viewed under the influence. Carol Channing ain't got nothing on it (though she was pretty freaky in the tv version).

Posted by: Alabamapink at July 2, 2008 6:17 PM

Hee, 'bama, there's nothing like a bridesmaid who gets stuck with a shit-ugly dress and no chance of getting laid via a slutty backless number.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 2, 2008 6:20 PM

http://www.latterdaybride.com/index.php

But why don't they sell the special underwear too?

Marketing ploy! There's nothing specifically LDS about that store!

The nerve of some people.

I want to see the special underwear store!

And say what you will about the FLDS, I kinda like those crazy pompadours the women wear. They most definitely own it.

Posted by: Jay at July 2, 2008 6:56 PM

Speaking of crazy pompadours, didn't anyone else notice that their hairstyle is exactly like Elaine's? (From "Seinfeld," that is)
They aren't stuck in the 1800s, they're stuck in the '80s.

Posted by: Ann at July 2, 2008 9:05 PM

Hey, Alabama...you're talking about the Jan Svankmajer film "Alice." Creepy shit. I own it on DVD, which may give you all some insight into how screwed up a childhood I had.

Posted by: Case at July 2, 2008 9:10 PM

Affordable?! I don't exactly depend on my fundamentalist sect for money, but these things are hardly defined as "affordable" in my book.

Posted by: Bubu at July 2, 2008 10:46 PM

Yay muppets video!!! Yay!!!

Posted by: katy at July 2, 2008 11:06 PM

Well, the brownie does look good, but I don't really crave sweets so I can leave it alone (if you put a genuine black and white cookie in front of me though...I'm having a hard time saying "no".) But you know what? If you haven't tried their iced coffee it is quality. I was really impressed, made me regret having tried Dunkin Donuts' version.

Oh and DEVO also had "Beautiful World" on a Target ad a few years ago, plus Mark and Gerry work on a lot of jingles and stuff like that. They're not against having something to sell, but DEVO gotsta get PAID!

Posted by: Jay at July 2, 2008 11:39 PM



searchthesite.jpg