So … Uh, yeah. How ‘bout yesterday? Yeah, I have to warn you in advance that this is going to probably be a pretty sucky Pajiba Love, since the only news anyone is reporting is about beloved pop culture icons dropping like flies. But hey, at least Jeff Goldblum is alive, right? That’s something we can all be thankful for. (Webster’s)
Just because of what happened in the last 20 years of Michael Jackson’s life doesn’t mean we can’t remember the good things, like that time he was in the California Raisins commercial or when Moonwalker was made into a video game. (Holy Taco)
Now, because 50-year-old men don’t drop dead for no apparent reason, let the rampant, wild speculation begin! (Yeeeah!)
Switching gears, the surviving members of the “Charlie’s Angels” speak out about the passing of Farrah Fawcett. (DListed)
And here’s a little backstory into the creation of the most famous and best-selling poster in the history of ever. Via YBNBY! (CleveScene)
Because it’s Michael Bay week over at Screen Junkies, here’s a flowchart of how Michael Bay chooses his breakfast. (Screen Junkies)
And in Transformers news, mysterious spam accounts have been showing up on twitter blathering how awesome Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was. Guess what, it wasn’t and no one believes you. (CHUD)
And fuck transformers anyway, because here are ten better films which celebrate the beauty of a great explosion. (Film School Rejects)
For all of your home “manscaping” needs, Braun’s new bodycruZer is able to knock down any forest on a man’s body. (Impulsive Buy)
Here are ten people who have won an Oscar, an Emmy and a Tony. I had no idea such a thing could be done. (mental floss)
Update: I feel bad that I didn’t post any serious Michael Jackson-related tribute stuff, since I know you all don’t take his death as flippantly as I do, so here is a fantastic piece rating his collaborations with well-known filmmakers. (Spout)
I’ve had enough of depressing crap today, so here is a He-Man-Misfits mash-up, because Skeletor ain’t no goddamn son of a bitch. Thanks to jay, who posted this on facebook!
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
HE-MAN was ALL about Man-E-Faces as far as I'm concerned.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 26, 2009 1:08 PM
How can you not have Apocalypse Now missing from explosions? I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Does anyone else want to see a Jeff Goldblum press conference? I say people I am not dead. Dead is a matter of molecules and wishes and momentum moving away...
Posted by: amanda47 at June 26, 2009 1:17 PM
Braun’s new bodycruZer is able to knock down any forest on a man’s body.
That sound you hear is the derisive laughter of Robin Williams' body hair.
Posted by: branded at June 26, 2009 1:19 PM
Since 3 celebrities died recently, how long does it have to be before another one can die without throwing off the eerie "It Always Happens in Three's" rigamarole? 2 weeks? 1 month? Longer? And if there is a predesignated time period, what if someone dies in the overlap between Ed McMahon and Farrah/Michael? Does it really count with Ed because he was old as hell and died of natural causes? I'm going to some barbecques next weekend and want to avoid looking like some ninny who doesn't know the 3 Dead Celebrities Rule from the nuts in his pants.
Posted by: Kballs at June 26, 2009 1:27 PM
I just can't see Jeff Goldblum without seeing David Duchovny's impression of him on celebrity Jeopardy. If the two of them were in a film together at this point, my head might actually collapse in on itself.
Thank fucking god. The adolescent me would shed a million tears were Dr. Ian Malcolm to die. Because then how would we ever get married and have like, a million babies?
Posted by: Gudrun at June 26, 2009 1:29 PM
You know who's got to be really glad about Jacko dying is that governor, whatsisname, with the Brazil thing. I mean, that's, like, the third-most ridiculous governor-related story of the last year, and it's been completely shoved to the side.
Posted by: Todd at June 26, 2009 1:29 PM
Kballs: "Since 3 celebrities died recently, how long does it have to be before another one can die without throwing off the eerie "It Always Happens in Three's" rigamarole?"
Since it only took me one day to forget that Ed McMahon died, I'd say it's a sliding scale consisting of the last 3 you can actually remember.
I currently suffer from CRS (can't remember shit).
Posted by: BWeaves at June 26, 2009 1:31 PM
Braun’s new bodycruZer is able to knock down any forest on a man’s body.
Obviously they've never put it up against this boreal forest.
Posted by: admin at June 26, 2009 1:35 PM
Man, that Farrah poster story is just tragic (TRAGIC!!!!). And it is interesting how their success stayed in step with her own.
Of course, seeing how dude is trying to sell the copyright, I don't know if it a case of callous greed or a final attempt to rid himself of all the trouble that poster brought.
Is it wrong if I whack it to the classic Farah poster?
Nuts, I thought it was.
Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at June 26, 2009 2:10 PM
Dude. That photo of Jeff Goldblum up there is ridiculously hot. I love you, Stacey.
And...maybe it's bad, but I feel nothing with regards to Michael Jackson. I was never really into his music, and he hadn't done anything that wasn't horrible in the past decade or so, and...I don't know. I feel nothing. I hope he's finally found some peace, though, because he had a crazy life.
I totally fancied Goldblum in Independence Day, and I was so shocked by it as I'd never thought he was attractive before. But he was hot in that film, oh yes.
Who else here remembers the pre-poster Farrah of the Noxema commercials? "Let Creamy cream ya" -- woo-woooo! "with Noxema"?
You think that Burger King poster was loaded with innuendo?
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 26, 2009 2:57 PM
I'm actually glad that you didn't put a lot of post-mortem stuff up, Stacy. I'm devastated about Michael & Farrah, but I just want to take 5 minutes of not thinking about it. Lord knows every website has something up about their deaths.
Jeff Goldblum is awesome, but his dating Tania Raymonde is not. Seriously, Jeff. She's barely 21. Not cool.
Posted by: Brie at June 26, 2009 3:05 PM
Stacey: I, too, am flippant. I've lost too many people in my own life to even come close to some kind of emotion other than morbid curiosity about Wacko Jacko.
I do feel bad for Farrah's long, painful struggle. At least her body has released her from that painful prison. And, I guess if I'm going there, that could double for Wacko as well.
In a topic completely unrelated to celebrity death or Jeff Goldblum's not death, I just googled "Snath" for the hell of it, and apparently it's the handle of a scythe. What the crap, really? That's kind of cool, without me knowing it. I just have it because it's short for something else. Ha!
And...maybe it's bad, but I feel nothing with regards to Michael Jackson. I was never really into his music, and he hadn't done anything that wasn't horrible in the past decade or so, and...I don't know. I feel nothing. I hope he's finally found some peace, though, because he had a crazy life.
Figgy, that's exactly how I feel about it as well. And every single person I've tried to explain that to looks at me like I've grown a second head.
Listen, strange used-to-be-black-men lyin' in ponds on their bizarre estates distributin' princely titles is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
I am very thankful for Michael Jackson 'The Early Years' Jackson 5 through Thriller.
I am deeply sorry for almost everything that happened after that up to and including his untimely death.
I am also grateful that Jeff Goldblum is still alive.
And even more grateful that Stacey posted that picture.
Posted by: greer at June 26, 2009 5:05 PM
"King of Pop" was his own invention, just like Prince's symbol. No one bestowed it. Phooey!
He didn't dub himself the King of Pop. It was an honorific given to him by the media, like Elvis was the King of Rock and Roll, and James Brown was the Godfather of Soul.
Vermillion, because I loved Charlie's Angels as a child and, apart from that one bizarre interview with David Letterman, I always thought she came across as thoughtful and kind in her interviews.
And while I'm thankful that she's no longer suffering, it's tragic that after fighting so long and so hard, she died at a young age from a horrific disease; instead of dying as an old woman warm in her bed.
Listen, strange used-to-be-black-men lyin' in ponds on their bizarre estates distributin' princely titles is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Posted by: figgy at June 26, 2009 4:41 PM
---
Oh Godtopus, that came out of nowhere and busted me up.
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 26, 2009 7:02 PM
Apparently the L.A. Coroner just had another press conference. According to the spokesman, Mr. Jackson might have been the victim of food poisoning on account of having eaten some twelve year old nuts.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 26, 2009 7:51 PM
I fell for the Goldblum one. In my defence, my fiance rang me just after I'd heard about MJ and told me Farrah and Goldblum had passed away as well, and that Goldblum's had just happened. When I went to check, I figured the lack of main news stories about it was because they were all focused on MJ, and there hadn't been enough time to investigate Goldblum's. *sheepish*
You know, I geniunely wish MORE people would just own up that they aren't that sad about his death. I was listening to the radio last night and there was this bit where listeners were doing 'Shout Outs'. Over and over again, I heard 'I want to say hello to my BFFs Cookie and Des-tie-neee and Azaelea. Check me out on Twitter, I'm really funny! Oh, and yeah, I was like, sooo sad about Michael Jackson. He was so famous, it's so sad that he's dead.'
I understand if you're upset because you were a fan, or he inspired you, or just because you were a teenager during his good years and a big part of your youth has left this earth.
But if you're some Pattinson-stalking, Cyrus-worshipping Douchebag-larvae, SHUT UP. You're not fooling anybody, and you're making me feel stabby.
Posted by: ScienceGeek at June 26, 2009 8:00 PM
figgy and Kelly, I'm kind of glad to know I'm not the only one feeling nothing besides surprise at Jackson's passing. Never was a fan, really. I get that he inspired a lot of artists, but he did nothing for me. Don't get me wrong, I do feel sad that he had such a messed-up life, and maybe in a way it's for the best that he's at peace now.
Oh lordy, I hope that doesn't sound completely insensitive.
Bwahahaha...I don't care what your view on MJ is, that shit is pretty fucking funny!
Posted by: Mr. Rotinaj at June 26, 2009 10:59 PM
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 26, 2009 7:51 PM
You son of a bitch. My screen is now covered in Pepsi.
Posted by: jM at June 26, 2009 11:09 PM
Pepsi deserves to be spewed.
Coke, bitches.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 27, 2009 1:21 AM
After yesterdays panic, I learned something; something important.
I'm going to go and tell Jeff Goldblum that I love him.
Because what if he HAD died... AND I NEVER SAID IT?!
It's true what they say, people... regret is the REAL island infested with dinosaurs.
Posted by: Daniel Hall at June 27, 2009 1:36 AM
No...I'm not wondering what's the big deal. I KNOW what the big deal is--to other people. I know he meant a lot to a lot of people, but I don't feel it myself. I'm not asking people WHY they're mourning for him. Asking WHY someone's mourning one person over the other just seems...weird, to me. People just feel different about certain people dying.
Stacey - dumb ass me, this was the first I'd heard about the Goldblum hoax. I think I would have committed seppuku if one hair on that gorgeous man's head were to be harmed. The internet would blink out of existence from the force of my pain.
Micheal Jackson was a massive part of my youth, and unironically my twenties too...if you wouldn't get up and dance when Beat It came on then you were a f*ckin' joy-killing loser in my books. I'm so sad how his life went for him. I've had the tiniest, smallest, speckle of success as a child actor and it damn near hooped up my head for life. I can't imagine what stratospheric success would have wrought.
Anyways, MJ and Farrah were so burned into our collective culture...there just won't be that voice plus moves or that smile ever again, and that sucks.
Posted by: replica at June 27, 2009 2:55 AM
And here’s a little backstory into the creation of the most famous and best-selling poster in the history of ever.
---
Thanks, Stacey, I've been passing this around. It's a hell of a story. Would make a good movie except, of course, when two of the people involved despise each other and the third dies of ass cancer, it's hard to see where the happy ending is going to come from.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 27, 2009 10:20 AM
Listen, strange used-to-be-black-men lyin' in ponds on their bizarre estates distributin' princely titles is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
I *heart* you, Figgy.
Posted by: Melissa at June 27, 2009 2:18 PM
We have a #4: Billy Mays (the Oxyclean yeller) just died.
However, Billy Mays isn't in the same league with Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Elvis' son-in-law.
I wonder if we'll have a "pitchmen" trifecta now?
My best guesses:
1. Billy Mays
2. Shamwow guy
3. Brooke Shields (who's been pitching everthing from Coppertone cancer cream to eyelash growth serum, lately).
Posted by: BWeaves at June 28, 2009 6:56 PM
I guess that was very callous of me. RIP.
Posted by: BWeaves at June 28, 2009 7:38 PM
I'm thinking there's some sort of celebrity epidemic going around. Thank God for anonymity. Not to be too glib--RIP to Ed, Farrah, Michael, & Billy.
Posted by: nutmeag at June 28, 2009 10:02 PM
Ed, Farrah, Michael.....painful but accepted.
Billy is a the start of a new clearly separate triple...unfortunately.
Posted by: derkeiler at June 28, 2009 10:52 PM
Here's a nice desktop-size memorial to help y'all through this emotional time:
I honestly can't be *that* upset about Michael Jackson because seriously, how many people actually thought he'd get old naturally and just pass away in the Former Icon's Rest Home? That makes his dying at 50 really not that big of a shocker.
And dude? David Carradine standing next to the OxyClean guy? That is twelve kinds of jacked up, but I still sort of snickered.
Posted by: kellyo at June 29, 2009 9:02 AM
AHhhhhh! It is a new triple death!
1. Billy Mays (Oxyclean)
2. Fred Travalena (Man of a Thousand voices or was it faces, I can never remember)
3. Gale Storm (My Little Margie, and yes, I'm that old)
HE-MAN was ALL about Man-E-Faces as far as I'm concerned.