Gay? This Man? I Refuse to Believe It
Hey guys! Before we start with the links, I have a bit of news. Recently I’ve started a brand new full time job, and the pressure of putting together a daily column every day on top of trying to absorb a LOT of shit in an extremely involved position has been — how can I say? Exhausting. And stressful. And overwhelming. And so on. So starting next week, Jeremy Feist — who is basically like a little gay version of myself — is going to be helping me out around here. I’ll still be around, although I don’t know yet to what capacity. But I can tell you this much: I sure as hell don’t want to hear any bitching about it. Got that? Also, I’m really hot and cranky; thanks a lot, East Coast heat wave. Now on to your links, you link-grubbing link whores.
Anyway: It’s official! Richard Simmons is gay. Well, not official in a “Richard Simmons came out of the closet” sort of way, more in a way that a male escort outed him. Which is so much classier than coming out on your own, in my opinion. (Celebslam)
Ryan Seacrest is trying to not be such a gay by pretending to date that chick from “Dancing With the Stars.” See you in 25 years, tell-all by the male escort who Seacrest is banging now! (Celebitchy)
Here are 10 of the best rock star performances in films. (Screen Junkies)
Well here’s something I never knew before: Apparently Saturn, as in the planet, was named after a baby-eating cannibal. (mental floss)
Robert Pattinson thinks that there’s a “whole system of internet journalists” out to get him, which is of course ridiculous. But what else do you expect from a guy who EATS BABIES. (Agent Bedhead)
I love it, how with just the right objects blurred out — even the Food Network can be porn! (Warming Glow)
Tamatha is always sending me in these links from Craftastrophe, and I don’t know why I don’t link them more. Anyway, this offering would actually make the perfect wedding gift for my dumb shithead of an ex who is getting married next month. I noticed their registry was strangely devoid of dead rabbit-face art. (Craftastrophe)
I hate “Jersey Shore.” I also hate Twilight. Jimmy Kimmel is growing on me. So what’s good about this Twilight spoof with Jimmy Kimmel and the “Jersey Shore” cast? Yup: Almost nothing. (Film Drunk)
Here are eight awesome yet obscure British TV shows, none of which I’ve heard of other than the Will Arnett-David Cross thing. But on the subject of (relatively) obscure and awesome British shows, the entire series of “Peep Show” is now available on Hulu. Tell ‘em I sent you. (Topless Robot)
You know why good, hard-working American folks with morals hate the French so much? Because they take a product as delicious and wholesome as Orangina and make it all about gay bestiality. Why is it always with the gay bestiality with you Frenchies?
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