Having Kurt Cobain’s ashes stolen is causing Courtney Love extreme stress. It’s also causing her to turn into the Flukeman from “The X-Files” (Agent Bedhead)
Speaking of “The X-Files,” Gillian Anderson is dropping cleavage like it’s hot. (Popoholic)
Dumbest thing you’ve ever heard: Heidi Montag’s new single? (WIMB) Or Linda Hogan’s 911 call on Hulk for violating his restraining order while she follows him? (WIMB)
Yup, I see this all the time: one of the biggest myths of law enforcement is that you can’t be held accountable for evidence you hide up the poop chute. (QuizLaw)
Here’s an interview with David Morse, who I’m told some Pajibans think is the private dick who gets all the chicks. (A.V. Club)
Anyone care for a little shame with your morning coffee? (YBNBY)
Although, you get your choice of regular “shame” or then there’s “Jimmy Dean brand sausage wrapped in pancakes shame.” (TIB)
Amy Winehouse’s emphysema alert has been downgraded from “imminent” to “warning,” and what better way to celebrate with the smooth taste of tobacco? (Yeeeah!)
For fans of Deus Ex Malcontent: here’s an interview with Chez Pazienza. (Gelf)
Apparently this has been around for quite some time, but we’re just seeing it now. A guy named Matt dances his way around the world, after the jump.
If you are trying to scare the natives with that demon in the photo, it is working.
Oh wait. Courtney Love? Really? Time has not been your friend, has it?
Does anyone think that she knows that Elizabethian face paint went out of fashion in the 1700's?
Posted by: Melody at June 24, 2008 3:44 PM
However cynical I usually am, that video was awesome.
Posted by: Siddhartha at June 24, 2008 3:44 PM
Gillian Anderson is dropping cleavage
Hm, I'd like to drop something into that cleavage, a little Mikimoto action, if you know what I'm saying.
(Hint: I'm saying I would like to have breast sex with Gillian Anderson; I'm also making a euphemism from a popular pearl brand name in reference to the slang for breast sex.)
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 24, 2008 3:57 PM
Looks like Skeletor's bringin' sexy back!
Posted by: brownribbon at June 24, 2008 4:01 PM
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Sweet bleedin' Moses, I knew Courtney Love looked like something I'd seen before! Jeezum Crow, what the hell happened to h...
Wait... Does she have a role in the new X-Files flick? That'd explain a lot. She doesn't? Well then, somebody needs to get on the goddamed ball and make a sequel to 30 Days Of Night, toot-sweet! Seriously... "Listen, Ms. Love. I'll explain this again: we don't have any special effects in this one, nor do we have a wardrobe trailer for you. Just show up as you are and we'll go from there."
I'd still tap it though...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at June 24, 2008 4:06 PM
Yeah, that's right. I said it.
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at June 24, 2008 4:07 PM
Siddhartha - couldn't agree more.
Next time one country feels like bombing the crap out of another country, they should be made to watch that that video over and over instead.
That'll make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside...
Posted by: Simon B at June 24, 2008 4:07 PM
I'm also making a euphemism from a popular pearl brand name in reference to the slang for breast sex.
Wow, Socalled, I learn something new every day.
Posted by: Julie at June 24, 2008 4:08 PM
a little Mikimoto action
My new euphamism...thank you, socalled.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at June 24, 2008 4:14 PM
"You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace the other day..."
"You obviously missed the point of that story."
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at June 24, 2008 4:18 PM
lol, the Matt video is so cute!
doesn't it just make you want to quit your job and travel the world? *sigh* anyone? anyone?
Posted by: stella at June 24, 2008 4:22 PM
Ok, fine, you got me, you made me smile with your stupid dance around the world with the happy kids and people acting goofy. Are you happy now, Matt? Oh you probably are, aren't you, you goofy happy silly person?
Mikimoto...have to write that down somewhere. And pearl necklace...never heard of that either. Wow, I'm really innocent.
Skitt, you're ill...and not in the hip hop way that means good or something. That thing would make your minimus fall off. Or she'd eat it...she looks that hungry.
Posted by: Joker at June 24, 2008 4:26 PM
Thanks for the video of Matt Harding dancing 'round the world. The original went up on You Tube a couple of years ago with a different song and it was just him. (Sometimes the camera was precariously placed.) He would add locations as he went along. The first song was great (Indian I think) and it was a simple yet cute idea as he would dance anywhere and folks would just go about their day around him. It got 9+ mn views according to You Tube.
This looks like a whole new video and is probably due to the positive reaction to the African kids dancing with him in Zambia who were just so damn joyful...
On another note: I just want to feed Courtney Love a hamburger- with bacon and cheese and fries. Wash it down with a milkshake. And an ice cream sundae. Maybe a malted?
Posted by: Amanda47 at June 24, 2008 4:27 PM
i got chills watching that video! "best life ever", anyone?
Posted by: sol at June 24, 2008 4:28 PM
Uhm...Skitt, I did not in any way intend to imply that your...uh...minimus is...minimal...y'know...I know Godtopus has blessed you with one of his very own tentacles, so...yea...
Good point, sarah b, though, frankly, whether I bought the Mikimotos at Zales or stole them off the back of the truck, Gillian Anderson still ends up with the "Barbara Bush" dirty girl look, right? This is really about results.
Do you think there'll be any traction for the "Squirty Sanchez" phrase I'm trying to popularize? It's based on the "Got Milk" ad campaign, so you can probably envision where this is going.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 24, 2008 4:42 PM
Socalled, there is something wonderfully wrong with you.
Posted by: TK at June 24, 2008 4:55 PM
I have an irrational fear of David Morse; he creeps me right the hell out.
Posted by: Lisa at June 24, 2008 5:05 PM
I liked that video. It made me smile. Piss off in advance Ben.
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at June 24, 2008 5:14 PM
And what's the slang for breast sex again? Slaloming the sweater kittens?
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 24, 2008 5:48 PM
socalled - how about "splitting the uprights"?
Posted by: Kolby at June 24, 2008 5:52 PM
My apologies in advance to any young 'uns listening in but I am going to throw some dirty grown up words around: I think that is the great thing about slang, it's flexibility. 'Round here, we used the term "pearl necklace" to refer to um, breast sex (okay, we also called it titty sex) that ends in the owner of said breasts wearing ejaculate like a necklace. That is why it is referred to as "slang" and not "proper usage", eh?(So what if I have an obsession with wearing real pearls? I am sure there is no connection.)
Posted by: Brigette at June 24, 2008 5:54 PM
Kolby...dividing your assets?
Posted by: Julie at June 24, 2008 5:58 PM
Julie - Pulling a Noah? You know, like parting the Red....whatever.
Posted by: Kolby at June 24, 2008 6:49 PM
Ha ha! I meant Moses! Somebody shoot me.
Posted by: Kolby at June 24, 2008 6:50 PM
'round here we always called the fluke guy "the porta potty monster". makes one think twice before using the andy gump at the fair.
happy dancing fellow-- how much fun is he having?? i think i love him!
Posted by: bionic bunny at June 24, 2008 6:56 PM
Does Matt have a job?
Posted by: greer at June 24, 2008 7:44 PM
how about "splitting the uprights"?
There's only one upright in play in this situation, and it's nestled in among the sweater kittens.
dividing your assets?
I kind of like this one, and leave it to Julie to have probably thought about this a lot.
Pulling a [Moses]? You know, like parting the Red....whatever.
Don't really want the thought of red wings in my mind while I'm doing something fun.
Socalled, there is something wonderfully wrong with you.
My doctor, the esteemed H.E.D. Plonker, insists I'm just special.
How about "Shepherd of the Hills?"
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 24, 2008 9:59 PM
"Spearing the Jellyfish," perhaps?
I....uh.... I dunno.
As for "pearl necklace," it mean boobsex and the resulting accoutrement here in the Midwest as well. And a major Off-Broadway hit from two years ago uses it as the center of a significant monologue (by a 70-year-old woman). The play is called String of Pearls, and it was a HUGE hit in Cincinnati when my theater company did it. Apparently, the blue-hairs like to be titillated.
Erm....that came out wrong....
Posted by: Tammy at June 24, 2008 11:52 PM
Apparently, the blue-hairs like to be titillated.
One day at work a 40ish woman had a bunch of paperback romances in the pile of books she was checking out and said "my mother reads the smut".
I always thought it meant the boobsex, too, but I really think the end result is what counts. It's the destination, not the journey. Men.
"my mother reads the smut".
Maybe you misheard her. Maybe she said, "My mother raised a slut." Self-loathing either way I guess.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 25, 2008 1:01 AM
did you all know the Godtopus is in the new Futurama movie and is voiced by David Cross? Omoshiroi, ne?
Coincidence?
I think so, but still...kinda makes you wonder...
Posted by: Some Guy at June 25, 2008 1:59 AM
I have to be honest...the Where The Hell is Matt video makes me cry every single time i see it.
I know how unbelievably cheesy this sounds, but dudes, i'm the cynics cynic, i am, but that just...its lovely
Posted by: nadine at June 25, 2008 5:54 AM
Hot damn I love Pajiba!
Seriously, where else can you go to find an intense and honest discussion about pearl necklaces and boobiesex interlaced with people loving a happy dancing kid making people feel so much joy?
The best of both worlds really!
btw, Matt does get paid, by Stride gum, who actually fronted him the money to travel! How's that for an even better job?
Nadine, I hear you. For all my nasty cynicism, there are two things that, regardless of how pathetically cheesy they are, reduce me to a weak-kneed puddle every. single. time - the Where is Matt video, and that motherfucking Free Hugs video. I CAN'T FUCKING HELP MYSELF, GODDAMMIT!
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at June 25, 2008 9:47 AM
that matt video really reminds me of Discovery Channel's "Boom De Yada" commercial. Anyone seen it? Gives you that same "damn, i love the world," feeling.
Posted by: lucy at June 25, 2008 10:07 AM
Awwww...TK's all squishy!
Posted by: jM at June 25, 2008 10:10 AM
Late to the euphemism party, I'm afraid, but how's about "pillowfighting with the Bishop"?
TK, don't feel bad, I get all giggly looking at I Can Has Cheezburger, for cripe's sake (who is "cripe", anyway?). So does my manly-man husband.
Posted by: MO at June 25, 2008 10:34 AM
Pillowfighting with the Bishop wins. Hands down.
Posted by: Kolby at June 25, 2008 10:37 AM
Yes, that's it. Pillowfighting with the Bishop, followed by Vanilla Espresso Mikimoto.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 25, 2008 10:42 AM
Pray tell, socalled, what do you eat that makes that stuff taste like Vanilla Espresso? I'm intrigued....
Posted by: MO at June 25, 2008 10:47 AM
What the hell is wrong with just good old fashioned tit-fucking?
If it ain't broke...
Posted by: I Love Beets at June 25, 2008 10:54 AM
what do you eat that makes that stuff taste like Vanilla Espresso?
The tasty, delicious dreams of young idealists.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 25, 2008 11:05 AM
The tasty, delicious dreams of young idealists
Well, I guess it's a good thing most of us are cynics - our dreams are safe from socalled. They probably taste horrible anyway, much like the innards of the Monarch Butterfly caterpillar.
Posted by: Kolby at June 25, 2008 11:28 AM
aww, stacy, that boom de yada commercial is awesome!
God, Mike Rowe and Bear Grylls on the same stage.
Now there's a sandwich I wouldn't mind having for lunch.
and dinner.
Posted by: Stella at June 25, 2008 12:38 PM
"Pillowfighting with the Bishop"...
I do love a Pajiba Euphemism Party.
Have we done euphemisms as an official "Comment Diversion" yet?
Posted by: Tammy at June 25, 2008 12:43 PM
"God, Mike Rowe and Bear Grylls on the same stage.
Now there's a sandwich I wouldn't mind having for lunch.
and dinner."
HAHAHA that made me laugh out loud for the first time today! And I totally agree! But they would definitely have to bathe and brush their teeth first... crawling around in vats of poo and drinking urine aren't turn-ons for me.
Did anybody actually have the self-loathing desire to be ear-raped and listen to that Heidi Montag song? I did. I thought, "Oh, it can't be that bad! My gay BFF and I listen to cheesy dance songs all of time and shamelessly love them!" Well, I nearly threw up, and I'm pretty sure a small part of me is dead now. Who told this twat she can sing?!
Posted by: Mistress Violet at June 25, 2008 1:01 PM
"Who told this twat she can sing?!"
Me. What can I say? I find happiness in the suffering of others.
Personally, I get a nice laugh out of Loving the Lucy's, but Pillowfighting with the Bishop is amazingly awesome.
Posted by: JTate at June 25, 2008 1:08 PM
TK - Had to go and build that cred back up, huh?
Just watched the Matt video, and it does make you a little squishy. I didn't think it would... but it kinda did. Although, being the bitter person that I am right now, it also kinda pissed me off because this jackass gets to travel all around the world dancing around and I've never been anywhere cause I'm too damn poor! Hmph!
Posted by: Mistress Violet at June 25, 2008 1:13 PM
The discovery here that I am not the only one who gets choked up by dancing Mat and Discovery Channel commercials, makes me have hope for the world. Add in just about anything scored with 'It's a Wonderful World' and we're in business. My shriveled up heart grew three sizes today.
If you are trying to scare the natives with that demon in the photo, it is working.
Oh wait. Courtney Love? Really? Time has not been your friend, has it?
Does anyone think that she knows that Elizabethian face paint went out of fashion in the 1700's?