Those of you who use Twitter have probably noticed in the past day the site has been taken over with the trending topic #nicerfilmtitles. Don’t Kill Bill; Faster, Pussycat! Hug! Hug! and etc. They are pretty much infinitely funny and yes, I want to hear yours. In the meantime, here’s a list Spout compiled. (Spout)
Gwyneth Paltrow is so horrible and evil, she single-handedly destroyed Billy Joel’s marriage. True story. (Webster’s)
Sean Penn is dropping out of his next two movies (including The Three Stooges — sad!!) to spend time with his family. I mean, nearest rehab facility. (Agent Bedhead)
Anyone live in or near Philly and want to be in a Neil Patrick Harris movie? The only drawback is that you have to be naked in it. I … respectfully decline. (Philly.com)
Nobody wants to watch Chastity turn into Chaz Bono on TV. Wait, really? I think I might like to watch that, actually. And when I say “might” I mean “would definitely.” (Zelda Lily)
Technology totally is ruining movies. I myself have said this before. And I don’t mean that in an old-personey, gosh-danged newfangled kind of way, either. (Rope of Silicon)
In other news, Paris Hilton is still alarmingly stupid as well as anyone actively seeking out her friendship. (FourFour)
If you didn’t already have a million reasons to love Patricia Clarkson, here she is speaking out for gay marriage. Love! (Film Experience)
With Judd Apatow and Harold Ramis joining forces in the upcoming Year One, of which quality looks questionable, here is the six degrees of Ramis & Apatow Chart. If it doesn’t make your head hurt you’re not doing it right. (Screen Junkies)
What’s a surefire way to get the Religious Right to get down with cloning? Make it have something to do with 9/11. And, oh yeah, puppies! (Celebitchy)
I’ve seen the air guitar movie about international air guitar championships. OK, that makes sense. Kinda. Air sexing? Not as much. (Rusty’s Ventures)
Apparently hipsters want to bring back the fannypack. Set your phasers to “KILL IN THE FACE.” (Hipster Runoff)
And speaking of hipsters, Dov Charney of American Apparel wants to bring the sexy to Middle America. Is it sad that I have the knee socks in this clip? (Yes.)
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
Fuck then dude, dont make it a hundred episodes, make as many as it takes to see something inrcedible take place in a way that can be shown to the world to see how its not some horrific alien thing but in fact an amazing process!!!
Dov Charney called my friend when she used to work at American Apparel. She had been sexually harassed by her manager, who was also stealing clothes to give to his fifteen year old girlfriend.
Apparently everyone had known he harassed employees, but the final straw was someone actually complaining about it. So anyway, long story short, Don Charney called her, apologized on the manager's behalf, and said he hoped to see her at some point in his life, since he had seen her picture and thought she was hot.
Although I loathe Twitter, I love a good title diversion. So:
Bring Me the Bread of Alfredo Garcia!
I Kneel on your Grave. To Pray!
Attack of the Clowns.
Happier Madison.
Ooo this is fun!
Posted by: Odnon at June 18, 2009 1:26 PM
Stacey, light of my life, fire of my loins, both the links on the Pajiba Love item referring to my blog lead back to the review of the air guitar movie. I remain flattered regardless, but felt I should point it out to others before they became confused.
Picnic on Elm Street
Sunday The 8th
The Last Tummy Rub of Christ
Unzipper of the Flies (It's nice and it's porn. Win win.)
Posted by: branded at June 18, 2009 1:36 PM
Zach and Miri Bake a Poundcake
You Got Served Cookies!
Posted by: Melissa at June 18, 2009 1:36 PM
How to Gently Let Down a Guy in 10 Days
Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 18, 2009 1:39 PM
The Request for Pelham 1 2 3
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers...with Candy Corn!
Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 18, 2009 1:42 PM
Without looking at the list:
I Sneeze on your Grave and Someone Says "God Bless You!"
The Fallen Angel's Advocate
Mild Indiscretion City
John of Patmos' Really Really Bad Dream Now!
Shawn of the Transitioning
Urbancanine Millionaire
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 1:43 PM
Natural Born Kittens
Henry: Portrait of a Cereal Eater
The Good, the Good, and the Good
Posted by: Melissa at June 18, 2009 1:47 PM
When this post showed up in my Reader, I glanced at the title and read it as: "Nicer Film Titties." Got excited for a pinch, there, and then was quickly disappointed.
Dr. Not So Bad Once You Get to Know Him's Sing-along Blog
The Good, The Not So Good and the Aesthetically Challenged
Shark Meets Octopus, Both With a Pituitary Disorder
Al Pacino in Miss Jones
Mild Heartburn on the Orient Express
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 1:51 PM
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Delights
OR
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Donuts
Dial M for Monkeys
Harry Potter and the Penguins of Antarctica
Posted by: Melissa at June 18, 2009 2:06 PM
Tickle Bill.
Reversible.
Straw Puppies.
Ascent.
The Wizard of Awwwwwws.
Posted by: Odnon at June 18, 2009 2:07 PM
Ecstatic Cow
Posted by: Cindy at June 18, 2009 2:08 PM
Sorry Genny!
Usually I close a window after I paste a link, and when I previewed PL before publishing I noticed the review wasn't linked and thought, "Huh, wonder what happened to that window." That explains it!
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Success
The X-Files: Hug the Future
Stanley Kubrick's Full Cotton Jacket
Friend at the Gates
Third Party Arbitration Club
Vanilla Sky with Sprinkles
The Pleasant Dream Before Christmas
Posted by: alphawhiskey at June 18, 2009 2:12 PM
Billion dollar baby
High noon tea
Prettier woman
The Perfectly Normal Case of Benjamin Button
The example I saw was a Catholic priest removing the usage of the word 'hell' from the film 'Miracle' because, you know, that film is so morally depraved.
Posted by: J Stride at June 18, 2009 2:16 PM
Boy in the bright yellow pajamas
The Godfather will help at the baptism
King Kong's Day out
Posted by: badalamenti at June 18, 2009 2:17 PM
The Really Magnificent Ambersons.
Psycho-delic!
Birth of a Non Racist Nation.
Citizen Abel.
C.H.U.D: Carefree, Happy, Urban Dwellers.
Posted by: Odnon at June 18, 2009 2:19 PM
Easy as pie Stacey.
Citizen Douchebag
Apocalypse in Buttfuck Vietnam, A Place You Will Never See
The Island of Dr. Marlon Brandos Paychecks
The Curious Case of Plot Absence
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of Hayden Christensen's Shitty Acting
The Sunday Brunch of Algiers
Three Birthdays of Melquiades Estrada
Republic of the Sun
Order Theory
Staying Up
Live Hard
An Abundance of the Mohicans
The Abundant Samurai
The Sailors of the Caribbean
Give the Money and Walk Away
Victor and Victoria
Glen and Glenda
Posted by: alphawhiskey at June 18, 2009 2:27 PM
James Bond edition:
'Dr. Yes'
'Live and Leave Alone'
'Licence to Maim'
'The World is Most Certainly Enough'
'Octovagina'
Posted by: J Stride at June 18, 2009 2:28 PM
I think I'd rather see some of these suggestions rather than the actual movies. Who doesn't want to see "Rocky Super Happy Funtime Picture Show" (sounds like a Japanese game show) or "Psycho-delic!"?
A Calypso Now!
Schindlers's Kissed.
A Really Great Country for Old Men.
The Last House on the Left... Has Candy!
Gorillas in the Mitts.
kille me! kill me now! *eye splat*
Posted by: Odnon at June 18, 2009 2:42 PM
Madly in Love Men
The Last Unicorn Finds Love
Cool Intentions
Forest Gumption
10 Things I Wish You Would Change
Gladiator Sandals
Posted by: Rollerson at June 18, 2009 2:42 PM
Outbreakdance
Harold and Kumar Go To In 'N Out
Bank Account Full of Dollars
Little Shop of Indifference
Posted by: Kballs at June 18, 2009 2:43 PM
Some Like It Hot with Gravy
Ten Things I Find Utterly Charming About You
Posted by: Cindy at June 18, 2009 2:43 PM
Glad He Ate Her......?
Posted by: Odnon at June 18, 2009 2:43 PM
Jason Takes Manhattan for Ice Cream
View to a Hug
The Birds is Singing and the Sun is Shining
The Hangover Really Wasn't Bad, All Things Considered
Eyes Wide Open with Love
The Last Constitutional Monarchy of Scotland
Ocean's 11 Swell Guys Take a Nice Walk
Ghostcuddlers
Angels and Angels
Angels in the Outfield and the Infield and the Stands
We're No Angels. Oh, Wait. Yes We Are.
The Big Restful Sleep.
The Maltese Lovebird
Public Buddies
The Really, Really Great Santini
Heckraiser
Apocalypto Magnifico
Pineapple Slow Down and Enjoy Life
To Sir With Even More Love
Blackboard Jungle Gym
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 18, 2009 2:44 PM
Jo Jo Dancer, Ed McMahon is Calling
Posted by: Kballs at June 18, 2009 2:45 PM
You guys are killing me.
The Man Who Bought Liberty Valance a Puppy
Posted by: Melissa at June 18, 2009 2:47 PM
Sleepless in Miami
(Pop culture has taught me that Seattle is a rainy city filled with despair and Sandra Bullock. At least in Miami you'd have pleasant warmth to help you through your insomnia...)
Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at June 18, 2009 3:05 PM
Thank you, ma'am. We aims to please.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 18, 2009 3:07 PM
The Bonfire of the Logs
The Last Boy Scout at Camp
Ernest Goes to Church
Live Men Wear Plaid
Confessions of a Harmless Mind
Man on Fire-colored Shoes
A Clockwork Clock
The Little Nap
Anatomy of a Mouse
The Visible Ray
Abbot and Costello Meet the Mummy and He's Actually Quite Pleasant
Water Gunfight at the O.K. Corral
Tombstone Pizza
Posted by: alphawhiskey at June 18, 2009 3:11 PM
The House Right Over There
The Accused (But Not of Rape)
Loudness of the Lambs
Attack of the Drunk Broccoli
Posted by: Kballs at June 18, 2009 3:20 PM
The Fish That Ate Cleveland Was Really Just A Nice Fellow With a Terrible Eating Disorder
House of Sand and Sunshine
The Village is a Lovely Place With Good Schools and a First-Rate Parks System
Swellfellas
Me, Myself and Irene are Darn Glad Ta' Meetcha
Ol' Yeller Goes to the Park
Hotel Rwanda Is A Five-Star Place
Saturday Night Slightly Elevated Temperature
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 18, 2009 3:21 PM
The Nuns of Navarone.
UPPER.
The Cabinet of Dr Calimari.
HELP! - No, wait. I'm ok.
An Easy Night's Morning.
The Road Worrier.
Posted by: Odnon at June 18, 2009 3:28 PM
Y Tu Mama Tambien, Motherfucker!
Posted by: Kballs at June 18, 2009 3:35 PM
The Ask Politely and gently remove someone else's possession (snatch)
Conan the Cosmopolitan
Ahahahaha I can totally see Conan drinking cosmos and wearing Manolo Blaniks.
To break with that for a second: Not only do I find it hard to believe that anyone would want to be Paris Hilton's "friend", I find it baffling that anyone would want to come NEAR her.
Also, is this you giving socalled his daily Paris shot?
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 4:38 PM
Unitarianzilla, and its sequels:
Unitarianzilla Plays in the Meadow With Butterflyra
Unitarianzilla Invites Mechaunitarianzilla to Lunch at One of the Finer Sushi Bars in Tokyo
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 4:45 PM
3:10 to Disneyland
Donnie Brighto
Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 18, 2009 4:59 PM
Edward Fluffyhands
The Deer Befriender
Land of the Directionally Challenged
The 40-Year Old Waiting for Love
Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 18, 2009 5:04 PM
Of course, Harold Raimis was IN Knocked Up, so that's another one-degree-of-seperation thing. Just sayin'.
Nicer movie titles:
-The Hills Have Ice Cream
-Not-so-glorious Bass Fishermen
-The Dim Knight
-Catch Me If You Want To Hang Out
-There Will Be Buns
-Thank You For Smiling
-Super-rad
-Confessions of a Splendiferous Mind
-No Country For Old Men To Be Sad
-Full Mauve Jacket
-V for Vacation
-The Departed...Flight to the Bahamas!
OK. Time away from the computer did me no good whatsoever.
So here's the last of it. Then I am going to go get a lobotomy and cut off my fingers.
From Here To Maternity.
Boyz in the Hoodeez.
The Year of Living Pleasantly.
They Shoe Horses, Don't They?
Pup Fiction.
Social Clubs of New York.
The Munificent Seven.
The Seven Samovars.
Finding Nemo Safe and Sound.
Cat Balloon.
Reservoir Puppies.
The Short Easter Sunday.
Heck Kittens of the Navy.
Battle of the Bugle
Tidy Harry.
To Live and Diet in LA.
JFKFC
Mmmmmmmm (Sssssssss)
WOOD-E
Nice Station Zebra.
Star Trek Sex: The Undicovered Cun... no wait, that's porn....
Posted by: Odnon at June 18, 2009 5:11 PM
My Left Foot and My Right Foot
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dreams
Drag Me To Helsinki
Heavenraiser
Night of the Living
The (good) Omen
Posted by: logar at June 18, 2009 5:17 PM
As for the bad:
James and the Giant Asshole
Terms of Enragement
The Wrong Stuff
Father of the Bridezilla
The World According to Crap
Another good:
Hedwig and the Satisfactory Inch
Posted by: logar at June 18, 2009 5:21 PM
Oh, and Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Having a Tough Day
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 5:29 PM
White Men CAN Jump, Black Men Just Jump a Little Better
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 5:42 PM
Ferris Bueller Stays in School
Posted by: logar at June 18, 2009 5:44 PM
Getting Amy
Army of Awesomeness
Posted by: logar at June 18, 2009 5:48 PM
Baconator, Some Fries and a Frosty: The Next-To-Last Temptation of Christ
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 5:57 PM
There Will Be Mud... Sorry!
Posted by: logar at June 18, 2009 7:01 PM
Bwahahahhaha!!!!!
These are all wicked funny, My favorites are:
The Unzipper of Flies
Natural Born Kittens
James and the Giant Asshole
annd....
Real Story, my favorite bar in college had a photo of Henry Rollins sitting at said bar eating a bowl of Cheerios. Photo was framed with caption...Henry: Portrait of a Cereal Eater.
Figgy, give some candy! Get on your hotpants, un-tarp the parade float and give these people some CANDY!
Posted by: Stacy D at June 18, 2009 7:07 PM
Slap on the Wrist at Nuremberg
Gingersnaps and Old Lace
Citizen Abel
Children of the Unicorn
Smartbo the Elephant
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 7:43 PM
You people are the shit. This is redorkulous.
Fudge Club
Memento Of That Trip to Fiji With My Wife, Who's Still Alive
Beer and Clothing in Las Vegas
Kiss Kiss Hug Hug
Plenty of Terrain for Older Gentlemen
Nice Sailors of The Caribbean
There Will Be Lots of Gold for Everyone
Posted by: Lauren at June 18, 2009 7:57 PM
I gotta say, I am with Sean at June 18, 2009 1:48 PM.
I keep seeing the title for this thread as "nice firm titties".
Dyslexia can be fun!
Posted by: Odnon at June 18, 2009 7:57 PM
Lots of OIL for everyone!! Where the fuck did gold come from? Frick.
Posted by: Lauren at June 18, 2009 7:58 PM
Y'all are funny.
A Respectable Proposal
No Country for Douchewads
Assurance and Love in Las Vegas
Little Shop of Delights
Posted by: villain's minion at June 18, 2009 8:13 PM
As for the bad:
James and the Giant Asshole
Terms of Enragement
The Wrong Stuff
Father of the Bridezilla
The World According to Crap
Posted by: logar at June 18, 2009 5:21 PM
---
We can do reverse ones too?
Royally Pissed Madison
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 8:18 PM
Unitarianzilla Invites Mechaunitarianzilla to Lunch at One of the Finer Sushi Bars in Tokyo
Love in the Time of Proper Sanitation
Things Our Insurance Paid For After the Fire
Dram of Solace
Not a Bad Little Proposal, at All.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang but Not Like With a Gun, the Other Kind of Bang
10 Items, but I’ll Let You Through This Time Because You Look Like You’re In a Hurry
American Very Normal Man With Only the Usual Slight Neuroses
Bourne Diplomatic Offer But Really We’re Open to Negotiation
Bourne Believer in Equality Because if I Excel at One Thing, Like Kicking Tushy, You are Probably Much Better than Me at Something Like Making Potatoes Au Gratin
Pretty Sort of Palish Pink Knight
Midmorning of the Still Got a Good Few Years Left
Reasonable Confidence
Moderately Paced and Easy Going
The, Oh, Well, Let Bygones be Bygones
Lemony Snickerdoodle’s Series of Weirdly Serendipitous Events
Perfectly Reasonable Country for Men Who Are Kind of Getting On in Years
Pan’s Maze that is Enough of a Challenge but Not So Hard You Just Give Up, Because What is the Point of That Anyway?
Humility and Tolerance
Jog Fit Boy Jog
Running with Sisters Or In Any Case Something Blunt
Team Canada: World Polite
Peaceable Resolutions, Inc.
Posted by: Codger at June 18, 2009 8:49 PM
I heart you too, AvB.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 9:34 PM
-The Germinator (a robot from the future plants and waters seeds--not of destruction, but of daisies and stuff)
-The Gods Must Be Crazy About Me
-It Happened Five Times in One Night
-Filibusters
-The Post-Graduate
-The First Samurai
-Successful Audition
-On The Waterfront, My Yacht is Anchored
-Singin' and Dancin' Naked in the Rain
-Sunrise Boulevard
-Two Flew Over the Peacock's Nest (In A Private Jet)
-Grapes of Forgiveness
-Bonnie and Clydesdale
-To Hatch a Mockingbird
-Snow White and the Seven Little People
-All are Partying on the Western Front
-MASHed Potato
-Rebel With A Justifiable Cause
-The Democratically Elected Manchurian Candidate
-The French Connection UK Sale
-Forrest Hump
-Vegetable Soup
-Mutton on the Bounty
-My Fairest Lady
-The Penthouse Apartment
-Arachnophilia
-The Wicker Basket-Weaving Man
-The Lost Boys are Found
-Prettier in Pink
-Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner at Tiffany's
-The Way We Still Are
-Barefoot and Pregnant in the Park
-Romancing the Stoner
-Four Weddings and a Baby Shower
-The English Patient Recovers
-My Best Friend's Gay Wedding
-What Women Want Women Get
-Miami Spice
-No Longer Under Siege
-Forgiven
-301
-Hello, Mr. Chips
-The Nine Commandments
Posted by: :) at June 18, 2009 10:54 PM
Sorry to interrupt the name game, but I just wanted to say that Hipster Runoff fannypack site made me all stabby. Unless by some chance it is actually a parody, in which case it is a worked of unbridled genius.
"Yall… I’m just looking for a better way to live–and I think the best way to improve your life is to bring as many ‘kick ass products’ as possible into your life. I don’t really understand why ‘we were put on this Earth’, but I do know that u can do whatever is in ur power to make urself look kewl/have a ‘functional wardrobe.’"
Godtopus wept.
Posted by: RandyPanTheGoatboy at June 18, 2009 11:34 PM
I heart you too, AvB.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 9:34 PM
Everytime I see that acronym I read "Alien Vs Beaver".
Posted by: RandyPanTheGoatboy at June 18, 2009 11:39 PM
This is totally out of control!
Favourite so far:
Tickle Bill
Brilliant.
Posted by: Kelly Booth at June 19, 2009 12:23 AM
The Accused (But Not of Rape) - Kballs
THAT IS FANTASTIC.
I spit out my diet dr. pepper!
Posted by: popejenn at June 19, 2009 12:57 AM
12 Argyle-Wearing Men
Titanic in New York
Psycho for Love
Sabrinas (Because it's always nicer to have more of us)
Victor's Victrola
Immortal Marley and Me
Cracked But Not Yet Shattered Glass
The Make-Up
Igby Floats
Rosemary's Baby Carrots
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at June 20, 2009 4:45 AM
The Kidney Donor Josey Wales
The Ask Questions First, Shoot Laterist
Puppy Day Afternoon
Star Trek II: The Bubble Bath of Khan
Star Trek VI: The Country We've Been To Before and Had a Great Time, the Food Was Fabulous
Pull a Punch Drunk Love
Help Momma Down From the Train
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 20, 2009 9:06 AM
Gentlemanly Disagreement Club
Posted by: bucdaughter at June 20, 2009 7:12 PM
Leslie Nielsen in Rightfully Exonerated
Living to a Ripe Old Age in Venice
Civilized Residence
There Will Be Ketchup
Spork in the Water
And one my Dad will appreciate -- drumroll please:
Gums (Jaws)
Posted by: bucdaughter at June 20, 2009 8:43 PM
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahahahhahahahaha
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 21, 2009 2:40 AM
Fun With Penis and Jane
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 21, 2009 2:42 AM
A+ Movie
The Showered and Shaved Dozen
Se7en-Up
The Germinator
Germinator II: Judgement Day at the Flower Show
Germinator III: Rise of the Marigolds
Germinator Vacation
---
One meaner movie:
WALL-FU
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 22, 2009 8:44 AM
O Brother, There You Are!