I declare today National Mike Myers Sucks Day! First up, I’d boycott The Love Guru solely on the premise that it undoubtedly buh-lows, but the Hindus have their own reasons. (BBC News)
And if that ain’t enough to do it for you, perhaps news that Mike Myers is actually a huge honkin’ dickhead will. (WIMB)
Stop right there, or I’ll sic my, uh, slow-moving, domesticated reptile on you. (QuizLaw)
At first I thought a fighting game pitting the two Coreys against each other sounded retarded. But after kicking Feldman’s sorry ass, I felt strangely satisfied. (AETV)
In sadder news, the lovely and talented Cyd Charisse has passed away. (TVInTheWoods)
I know a guy, who for the purposes of anonymity we’ll call “Justin Moles,” who likes Rachel Bilson so much that I heard he actually cried one time when TiVO failed to record “The O.C.” True story. Maybe. (Popoholic)
New Strawberry Chex gives you the sensations of drinking pink milk without the requisite shame that goes with purchasing pink milk. (TIB)
Paramount tries to let old Tom Cruise down easy, with the old, “Well, we’ll still let you direct..” line for MI4. Ha ha, bitch! (Celebitchy)
For those of you who enjoyed our summer doc guide, here’s Werner Herzog talking about his new film, Encounters at the End of the World. (Gothamist)
Some of you like this website, and some of you don’t like this website. But one thing I know for certain that we can all agree about, is hating Tila Tequila. (IDLYITW)
Pufftard says to make sure your balls are pleasant smelling and free of any pubic hair. What? We were just asking for party tips! (The Blemish)
Lastly, our dear friend Alabama Pink is back in the hospital, and could use some well wishes if you have some to send her way. (Whoa, Camel!)
After the jump: OK, either this clip is fucking hysterical or I’m drunk at work again.
ok, I know that baby is laughing...but it does not look happy...
our thought and prayers are with you Bama!
Get well soon!
Posted by: Bethy at June 18, 2008 3:38 PM
Ok, I'm boycotting The Love Guru because watching it would be like raping my sense of humor. But boycotting it because it misrepresents Hinduism? Listen, Hindu Censor Society or whoever-the-fuck, if someone is really--really--going to make a judgement on a major world religion because of a shitty Mike Myers noncomedy (nomedy?) then I don't think that is the type of person whose opinion often gets considered anyway.
Posted by: lindzee at June 18, 2008 3:46 PM
Yea, Bama, we'll save you space for the scrabble orgies ;) Take care.
Ok, Stacey, not only are you drunk on the job, but you're also baked out of your mind. That shit's scary. I'm scared! Am I the only one?!
Posted by: Joker at June 18, 2008 3:49 PM
Please feel better soon, Ms. Pink. Wishing you the best.
On a lighter note, I'm actually a little scared by the slo-mo laughing baby.
Posted by: ShinyKate at June 18, 2008 3:50 PM
Ok, more than a little scared. Closer to freaked-out-of-my-fucking-mind.
Thank you, Joker for showing me I'm not alone.
Posted by: ShinyKate at June 18, 2008 3:53 PM
Bama, you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you feel better soon.
I just wanna kick Mike Myers in the junk. Really, really hard. With a steel-toed boot.
What's the drink of choice today, Stacey? Cuz I'm bored, too.
Posted by: Brie at June 18, 2008 3:55 PM
Brie I read that as steel toad.
That baby reminds me of the Stay Puft marshmallow man, although not as fiery.
Posted by: mswas at June 18, 2008 4:02 PM
I feel torn between my hate of All things Tila Tequila and my love and adoration for Pink. So let's do this according to importance.
Alabamapink, We'll all be waiting right here when you get out of the cage with body shots, scrabble and hot tubs. We love you and we adore you, and we're all rooting for you.
Tila? Just a fair warning here, but I WILL DESTROY WITH A FLAMING CHAINSAW OF FABULOUSNESS! DO YOU HEAR ME, BITCH?
Posted by: Jeremy at June 18, 2008 4:03 PM
Avoid the pink milk and go straight for Strawberry Yo-J. It looks like drinking a tall glass of Pepto Bismol but tastes deceivingly fantastic.
Posted by: branded at June 18, 2008 4:11 PM
Mswas, I don't know if such a thing exists, but if it did, wouldn't that be an awesome weapon? Chucking a steel toad at someone's head?
It also sounds like the name of a STP cover band.
Posted by: Brie at June 18, 2008 4:22 PM
That baby is high as shit.
Posted by: jM at June 18, 2008 4:24 PM
Ah, I fucking LOVE Werner. His attitude is so matter of fact and unassuming, and the fact that he is so involved in the filmmaking process--and with a bare minimum crew--not only makes him a complete badass, it makes all those other filmmakers out there look like godtopussies.
Fucking freaky baby! But fucking funny!
fuckity fuckity foo.
Great. Now every time I close my eyes, I see that goddamed freaky baby...
On the plus side, the Flesh Cheetos are gone...
Yay, me.
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at June 18, 2008 4:41 PM
Well, after that baby, I won't be getting sleep for a week.
While I do join in on the hatred of Tila Tequila (while hiding my shame-filled erection) I do object to the characterization of black King magazine readers from Atlanta as wannabe thugs. I assure you, people, those magazines on my shelf (and in those boxes) are for archival purposes only. I mean, if I get a craving for 30-inch platinum rims at three in the morning, how will I know what fake teeth and chains go with them.
Posted by: Vermillion at June 18, 2008 4:41 PM
Also: get well soon, Pink. I am so rooting for you.
And as soon as Skitt can finish the the Innerspace shrinking pod (aka MiniMurderTank), we are gonna go in there and kick some stubborn cancer ass!!!
I think the baby is totally creepy. That deep slow laugh coming out of a baby is just not right.
Posted by: Erin at June 18, 2008 4:57 PM
I figure if I can get the molecular whatchamafrick to redistribute the atoms and whatnot to their original helix pattern prior to reduction, I can't see why we wouldn't have a MimiMurderTank... Due to oxygen restrictions, we can have a crew of no more than eight, including supplies. I'd go, but Minimus technically counts as half a person...
It would truly be the shit to lasso and rehelixmafrig a few cancer cells and enlarge them along with the tank. We could put 'em in shackles and everyone who has either been through or lost somebody could line up to pop a cap in it's stupid, stubborn ass...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at June 18, 2008 5:02 PM
While I find virtually everything Mike Meyers did after the first Austin Powers movie crap (and I defend my affinity for that one due to adolescent hormones when I saw it), I'm with you, lindzee.
I'm of sick of groups (religious or otherwise) throwing hissy fits only when their own group is the one being made fun of, and I don't think any Hindus were too upset about Moral Orel (which also sucks, but I'll defend it's right to exist in this country to the death). Besides, to me this seems like a pretty tame movie, character name innuemdos aside.
The only "character" Meyers should look at making a movie of is the crazy-ass dad from "So I Married An Axe Murderer". Period.
I'd watch a whole goddamed epic feature with that guy running around all crazy and hahaha... just being cra-HA HA HAAAAA - I'm laughing just thinking about the shenanigans that guy could get into... HAA HA HAHAHAHAH Hoo... HAAAAAAAAAA!!
[...struggles to breathe and passes out, cracking head on edge of t.v. tray, dark spot spreads on jeans as bladder empties (cue Benetar's Only the Lonely and fade to black)...]
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at June 18, 2008 5:51 PM
Ah, I fucking LOVE Werner.
It must have been a long day because when I first read that I saw, "I fucking LOVE Wiener." Wow...
Posted by: brenia at June 18, 2008 6:16 PM
"The only "character" Meyers should look at making a movie of is the crazy-ass dad from "So I Married An Axe Murderer"."
William! Move your head! Look at the size of that boys head. I'm tellin' you it's like an orange on a toothpick.
...that's a huge noggin. Hauling that gargantuan cranium about!
My favorite scene in the whole damn movie. I stop what ever I'm doing when it's on. I give Myers a pass on a lot of things because if this.
Posted by: greer at June 18, 2008 7:12 PM
Well, I'm a white guy, but I won't see The Love Guru because I think it seems kind of racist.
Some may say I have no sense of humor, but Mike Meyers hasn't been funny in a long, long time. It's like a paradox creating a black hole that sucks all laughter and joy into it.
Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at June 18, 2008 8:26 PM
Well damn, I'm kind of sad to learn that Mike Myers isn't the good ol' Leafs-loving affable hoser I always thought he was. Dude must have good PR people.
Based on the previews, I don't quite see how The Love Guru looks particularly offensive to Hindus (if anything, French Canadians appear to fare worse). But man, does it look annoying. Ugh...Justin Timberlake? Really?
Posted by: MO at June 18, 2008 8:52 PM
I'm boycotting the Love Guru because it looks stupid and unfunny.
RIP Cyd Charisse. I loved you in the Band Wagon, especially during the Dancing in the Dark number with Fred Astaire.
The only time I have ever seen Tila Tequila is when Joel spoofs her on The Soup, and god, even that is too much.
OK Puffwhatever, that's officially too much information.
Pink/Manda, please get better soon.
Posted by: rlr260 at June 18, 2008 9:27 PM
Damn, Alabama Pink is back in the hospital and Cyd Charisse died? Not a good day.
So, speaking of Werner Herzog, as soon as I read that name, I thought "God, I am so angry at him!" But I couldn't remember why. I read over everything I can find on him, and I can't find a single thing he's ever done to piss me off. What the hell? Damn it, Werner, stop making me think I'm angry at you for no reason!
Posted by: Lammergeier13 at June 18, 2008 10:03 PM
Pull through, Pink.
Posted by: bucdaddy at June 18, 2008 10:09 PM
No no no, "Only The Lonely" was The Motels.
I hate that song.
Mr. MacKenzie did indeed buy Mike a lot of mileage with me. I also have family members that will forward emails forwarded to them (sometimes with all the previous forward gibberish attached..."natch", as they say) with the latest racist conspiracy theory urban legend and I sigh and think "The Weekly World News is not 'The Paper'. 'The Paper' has facts". No name? No date? It must be true, and now I'm gonna rail about it for a while and extemporize on how this is just what I'm always talkin about! Look people, my journalism degree got me nowhere, but find a second independent source fer chrissakes!!
Wait Jay, exactly how useless are Journalism degrees? I haven't declared a major yet but it has been catching my eye. Pass on your future-wisdom as you have so many times before.
Posted by: Rex at June 19, 2008 12:22 AM
Oh mothers, tell your children not to do what I have done.
You're better trained for having a journalism degree, but it doesn't get you a job, aside from a job any other liberal arts degree would. To actually work in newswriting and such you'd best to do it before graduating. Work on the student paper or magazine that you don't respect or write some reviews or something for the free weekly, get some kind of internship before your senior year, have proof that someone has already let you do this somewhere, and maybe even paid you. It's not unique in that only-experience-gets-experience trap, but it's definitely one of those gigs. Oh and last time I did it web writing didn't pay, but there's lot of opportunities to do it. Spin used to have some original news content on their site and I did a few little things there until they closed it out.
What wasn't around then was people selling ad space on blogs where they write what they want to write about. Some of it's just fun and some of it's serious current events. Obviously there's consternation from "the establishment" and such say it's not real reporting, but I think it's pretty cool that people are basically inventing their own magazines that can be read anywhere, and making some money with it. That still amazes me. "Holy shit, this is your JOB". But that's not everyone, no one works for Pajiba after all.
So rules, paradigms, whatever have been changing around, but the important thing is don't consider that diploma to be a passport to any money. Pad up that resume early if you want to get on someone's staff (and as I also always tell library science students, get any job inside a proper library that you can before finishing grad school, you'll get work a lot faster after).
My journalism degree has been 110% useless, personally. Like Jay said, prior writing/internship experience is a must.
Also, nobody pays. And they're shedding journalists from every paper everywhere.
If you're a halfway decent writer already, there's not much J-school can teach you that you can't learn on your own, from a book.
It's not a degree worth $35,000+, that I can tell you for certain.
Posted by: twig at June 19, 2008 7:21 AM
Wow, all the Mike Myers hate. I guess everybody else laughs except a select few. He must be too mainstream or his appeal to the masses makes him a target of scorn and derision. I forget how if somebody becomes popular this site will cut them down
Posted by: Jaghut at June 19, 2008 8:13 AM
Wow, all the Mike Myers hate. I guess it's because no one really laughs anymore except for a select few. He must not be considered funny by all people, which is weird since I thought that "hive mind" thing was going so well. I forgot how people on this site think for themselves and all.
Pink: Feel better, chica! Also, speaking from experience -- stolen wheelchairs can make a hospital stay infinitely more entertaining. Get at least two wheelchairs and start making up elaborate and overly complicated rules for brand new wheelchair sports (my personal favorites were always Wheelchair Battle Hockey and Australian Indoor Rules Wheelchair Quiddich). You might not feel up to playing whatever the wheelchair game du jour is -- but the real fun often lies in forcing friends and family to play for your amusement, anyway.
Posted by: PaleoLithchick at June 19, 2008 9:07 AM
No, Jaught... this site will "cut down" the actor whose last live-action movie was The Cat in The Hat, whose current movie looks like, at worst ill-conceived attempt at possibly racist humor, or, at best, a remake of a The Guru (which is probably why I thought Heather Graham and Mike Meyers were together again. Same crappy principle, different movies I have no intention of ever seeing. So... with the exception of my appreciation of Shrek, I'm not certain Meyers is "mainstream" anymore.
On Journalism degrees: They are well... why the fuck would you want to be a "trained journalist" nowadays anyway? I graduated with a Journalism degree in 2000 and thought "fuck no" after one internship. The news is owned by corporations who have stock in a certain brand of "news". You don't find stories, you recycle them. There is nothing Murrow-esque about journalism anymore. It's almost as if the term needs to be stripped and re-established before it can do any good to anyone (like reclaiming "feminist" we need to reclaim "journalist"). If anything, school yourself in the area of journalism that interests you- get a major in politics and take a shitload of writing courses, or if it's social sciences, or business, actually learn about something you'd want to write about in the future. Then you'll have a fall back when it's all said and done.
Jay, I agree you need to get EXPERIENCE if you still feel like you want to put up with the bullshit. I'd even go so far as to say get a job at a paper every summer. I had a slightly different experience with the job search, though it's been over 8 years- I was EoC of my college paper 2 years running, had an internship and actually got cold-calls from local papers asking me to come interview. That was tough- knowing I did not want to sit at some city counsel meeting getting paid $26K a year to hate myself yet not be able to find anything in the art field like I wanted to- I was saved 3 days before my second interview at a local paper by an offer as a graphic designer or else who knows how embroiled I'd be in the shit now.
Ugh. Who even wants to be a journalist? Be a poor blogger instead of a poor shill for "da man". FWIW I work in a teeny office with 7 employees and 2 of us are journalism majors doing nothing journalistic in the least.
Posted by: lilianna28 at June 19, 2008 9:08 AM
twig: $35K!?!?! Are you 75 years old? :) MY Horribly Useless Journalism Degree™ cost nothing less than $140K!
Posted by: lilianna28 at June 19, 2008 9:10 AM
Journalism is more useless than Psych?
Wow. I thought that the psych majors had the useless market.
Posted by: Melody at June 19, 2008 9:28 AM
psych is useless? I thought everyone was batshit crazy and needed some validation research style. Huh.
Posted by: lilianna28 at June 19, 2008 9:39 AM
Oh it warms the cockles of my little charcoal heart nugget to see so many Useless Journalism Degrees gathered together at once.
lilianna28, I was in J-school near the beginning of the 2000's, in-state tuition, 35K might be lowballing it a little but it was really nowhere near to 140K (thank god).
Now the useless Grad degree is going to cost me a lot more... *sigh*
Posted by: twig at June 19, 2008 9:45 AM
yeah, state tuition. I guess if you're gonna go Journalist, state tuition is the way to go. When I graduated in 00 my Very Repressed Lutheran College™ was up to 41K a year. At least I was a smarty pants and had scholarships.
BTW, yes, I am in love with ™ and have decided to trademark everything I say™.
Posted by: lilianna28 at June 19, 2008 9:51 AM
MY Horribly Useless Journalism Degree™ cost nothing less than $140K!
Holy shit.
Yep, I'm sure glad now I graduated from a state school in 97 when UGA was considered "13th grade" for the Atlanta suburbs. Now people hope to get in. I also read that low interest federal student loans have become harder to get and some people are paying credit card level interest on private loans. Yeah, I sure made the wrong choices (unlike sister and cousin nurse and teacher) but it could be worse these days. Professional degrees, kids. Journalism is by no means a professional degree, that's the risk.
Grad school was borrowing even more money to get a job to help pay for what I already borrowed for the BA. It's slowly working. Slowly. But yeah, the places to write have changed a lot so it's probably better to have an informed passion you can blog about rather than hope to not get laid off by Cox. Good luck, and if it's not right I hope you stumble into what you're actually supposed to be doing, as I did (on a long, slow, sloppy, expensive route I hope you avoid).
National Mike Myers Sucks whom Day?
The world needs to know.
It irritates me when religious types get up in arms against some movie or tv show which 'offends' them. Since when does having a faith entitle one to never be offended? (Well, ok, it often seems to - but that's how screwed up the world is today...) Feh. I'm with Bill Hicks on this one. 'Oh, you didn't like what I said about Christians? Well - forgive me!!'
Alabama, stay strong.
Posted by: Tarn at June 19, 2008 11:10 AM
Journalism degrees aren't all useless. I have one and I work in the field and I make ok pay. (I did get a few internships and I worked for my college paper before I graduated, tho.) I mean, I'm never going to own a yacht, but I don't like the sea much anyway. Beautiful, beautiful sea... *cries*
Posted by: Lindzee at June 19, 2008 11:38 AM
An undergraduate degree is as useless as you make it. I remember people in my (admittedly provincial) hometown thinking that an English or History degree was "useless", but I knew plenty of people who took that degree and went to law school, business school, etc. It teaches you how to think, it's not necessarily dictating your career. I'm very pro liberal arts in that respect. I see far more danger in narrowing yourself too much in undergrad than using a broad-based degree wisely. I don't advocate tilting at windmills or anything, but you're not doomed if you choose to get a solid, classical degree.
Posted by: samantha t at June 19, 2008 12:41 PM
which kinda proves the point samantha t. No undergraduate liberal arts degree is really indicative of a solid career path, ergo, you needn't really restrict your degree to something as narrow and (as of late) ill-defined as journalism. Real journalism is almost organic as it requires an inquisitive nature, well developed problem-solving methods, the ability to communicate and to decipher information communicated back to you, attention to detail and the ability to remain objective in your research.
I lack the latter, and most newspapers do too. At least I figured out early on that I couldn't stomach writing positively about something I didn't agree with, like the city counsel voting down a Planned Parenthood in the neighborhood.
Blah Blah Journalismcakes, I think what I'm saying is getting a well-rounded, 'classical' degree like English or History (or Politics, or Business) is BETTER than a narrower "journalism" degree. Seriously, I recycled the articles I was writing for my jobs for class and walked away with A+s. What was the point of all that nonsense? Unless you're at a major school with amazing contacts for future jobs, the journalism degree seems pretty well pointless.
Posted by: lilianna28 at June 19, 2008 12:58 PM
Eek! Again Pajiba steers me away from a potentially soul-crushing situation. (Like when I thought Zohan might be a delightful romp)
The amount of Journalism backlash has suddenly got me reconsidering. It's only my 2nd year so I'm not locked into anything yet. However now that you say Library Science I'm almost intrigued. This may have set into motion events that will end with me becoming Jay.
Posted by: Rex at June 19, 2008 3:24 PM
"This may have set into motion events that will end with me becoming Jay."
I see nothing wrong with this Rex, because Jay is at least 16 kinds of awesome.
ok, I know that baby is laughing...but it does not look happy...
our thought and prayers are with you Bama!
Get well soon!