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Optimus Prime vs. The Haters

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (25)



transformers_0609.jpg

Michael Bay will crush the haters in the face with the bitchin’ badassery that will be Transformers 2. Did you hear me? CRUSH FACE. (Film School Rejects)

You know what job would really stink? Being Jared Padalecki’s personal “body oiler.” Sheesh. I’ll just stick with blogging, thanks. (Webster’s)

I saw Eugene Mirman perform in Philly a few weeks ago and he did a bit about giving a commencement speech to his former high school. Well, I thought it was a bit anyway, because here he is actually giving the speech. Love it. (ASWOBA)

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Here is a picture of Ryan Seacrest as a kid. Either that or a “fat, middle-aged lesbian.” You make the call. (DListed)

Ridley Scott’s Nottingham might end up being the Gigli of this decade (yeah, yeah, I know. Gigli is the Gigli of this decade, whatever) because apparently he and Russell Crowe can’t stop fighting like a couple of little girls. (Celebitchy)

Because sitting out in the middle of the creepy woods at night isn’t scary enough, here are the top ten horror movies to watch while camping. Or as I like to call it, “Instant Presto Heart Attack.” (Bloody Disgusting)

Since the Snuggie is a product which can be cross-marketed with literally anything, here are some possible tie-ins to this summer’s hot movies. (Screen Junkies)

You know what makes being the President’s kids so much better than being regular old normal kids? Visits to the set of the Harry Potter movies. That and having a Jonas brother as a personal butler, or so I hear. Thanks, Allison! (Leaky Cauldron)

Well it finally happened. One of our loyal followers finally got a Godtopus tattoo, and the results are surprisingly bitchin. No really, I think I might want one. (Notes on Bar Napkins)

Here’s a list of the most embarrassing red carpet photos ever, including that time spiders came running out of Paris Hilton’s vagina. (Holy Taco)

You know what makes Obama so great? He watched “Sesame Street” as a kid. The children’s television programming of champions. Here’s some lessons he may have gathered from those formative years. (Jezebel)

Nothing says “Welcome to a lifetime of unemployment and misery” to new grads like a shitty cake. Or a straight razor and bottle of Vicodin. (Cake Wrecks)

Think you can’t fit the top 100 movies lines into 200 seconds? Think again:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.









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Comments

Top movie lines, my ass. Where was "I aim to misbehave"?

Posted by: Jerce at June 9, 2009 1:14 PM

More robots. More robots than you can possibly imagine.

I want the review of this one to let me know how much of the movie I can ignore before the giant robot explosions start. I'm thinking the first 20 minutes or so will be completely irrelevent. And then a big 30 minute chunk in the middle. And then another 20 minutes.

Posted by: twig at June 9, 2009 1:14 PM

I'm going to hiijack this to say how awesome the new Terminator movie was. I saw at the cinema today and I though it was great. Can you explain to me exactly what it was you didn't like. I was expecting something terrible after the review here but there were explosions galore, the story made sense and it was nice fun.

Maybe I liked it because I'm not familiar with the other Terminator movies but this is the whole point of reboots I think. Introduycing a franchise to a whole new generation. Maybe sometimes you should get someone who doesn't know anything about a franchise when reviewing a reboot.

Posted by: barf at June 9, 2009 1:16 PM

As long as the movie centers around Megan Fox's hot little ass, I'm good. I can't tell most of the robots apart anyway, and I used to watch the cartoon.

Posted by: Kballs at June 9, 2009 1:24 PM

Maybe I liked it because I'm not familiar with the other Terminator movies

Yeah, that would be it. Because this new movie wasn't rebooting the franchise, it was attempting to reboot after the utter lameness of 3, which failed to remotely touch the brilliance of 2, which is one of the greatest sequels ever made.

Posted by: twig at June 9, 2009 1:30 PM

Did you watch that NBC special inside the White House? Brian Williams became my undisputed favorite TV journalist ever for two reasons:

1) When the president asked what he wanted for lunch, he got a burger. KETCHUP ONLY!!! WOOOT!!!

2) Anytime Bo was around, he focused more on playing with the dog than talking to the President and First Lady of the United States. I can relate, because Bo is so damned CUTE!

Posted by: ChristianH at June 9, 2009 1:32 PM

Think you can’t fit the top 100 movies lines into 100 seconds?

Nope they can't but they can do it in 200 seconds :)

Posted by: Alli at June 9, 2009 1:48 PM

200 seconds

Posted by: dg at June 9, 2009 1:48 PM

"Oh yeah? Well I've gone done and drew a doodle of a one-
eyed Octo-deity what got itself tattooed on a gay porn star."

That right there will be my conversational Atom Bomb for the remainder of 2009.

I owe you a soda, Jeremy...

Posted by: Skitz at June 9, 2009 1:49 PM

That video doesn't contain "Yippee Ki Yay motherfucker!" Criminal. I'm sure here are other great quotes left out. I still like videos like that.

Does anybody know what all the movies are? There were quite a few I did not recognise.

Posted by: barf at June 9, 2009 1:51 PM

Man...Ryan Seacrest is hung for a little dude!

Posted by: wsapnin at June 9, 2009 2:00 PM

ChristianH, if the White House show was what made you like Brian Williams, you must have missed his many appearances on The Daily Show. Go look 'em up on Hulu or Comedy Central or someplace. You'll laugh your buttons off.

I would have a cheeseburger with Brian Williams any day.

Posted by: Jerce at June 9, 2009 2:02 PM

i know all but 22 and 84

Posted by: dg at June 9, 2009 2:05 PM

Heehee...I can't wait til Joel McHale gets a hold of that photo. Oh, Ryan. Tiny, tiny Ryan. No wonder he's so angry inside. He can still feel the wedgies and smell the dirty toilet water his head was sunk into so many times in High School. I'm telling you guys, one day he'll go on a murderous rampage and it will be glorious. The halls of E! will be drowning in blood.

Posted by: figgy at June 9, 2009 2:07 PM

That horror-movie list is sadly missing "The Descent". Good Godtopus, just the thought of that movie terrifies me.

Posted by: figgy at June 9, 2009 2:08 PM


here are the top ten horror movies to watch while camping

Isn't that kind of sacrilegious to watch movies while camping?
Isn't the point of camping to get away from technology and escape from reality?
At least I turn my phone off and leave the world behind.
Oh, and I don't camp around other people, no "camp sites" for me, I go off the beaten path.

Did that make anyone else sad?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 9, 2009 3:25 PM

How come Jeremy had to take his clothes off before his blog got flagged for "potentially offensive content"? Filters can be so narrow minded.

Posted by: Kris at June 9, 2009 3:38 PM

So I have Sesame Street to blame for the socialization of the American auto industry? I think I missed that episode.

Posted by: TylerDFC at June 9, 2009 4:01 PM

Did that make anyone else sad?

I felt more confused than sad. Will anyone fess up to watching movies while camping? That is precious time that should be spent nursing your inner-pyro.

Posted by: branded at June 9, 2009 4:07 PM

Is it just me, or is the Canadian Brian Williams so much cooler than the American Brian Williams? Each time I see "Brian Williams" in a headline, my hopes get raised only to be cruelly dashed.

All of a sudden I'm craving some TSN coverage of the CFL and Olympic action.

Posted by: lordhelmet at June 9, 2009 5:06 PM

To me, camping means no electricity, except maybe a lamp or two. It's about getting back to nature.

There's no video on my screen, just a red play button that doesn't do anything. Does anyone have a link so I can see the video? Should I not use Firefox to view it?

Posted by: Melissa at June 9, 2009 5:28 PM

Um, I looked at the picture of Jared whatshisface being oiled up and failed to spot the suckitude.

Being Hulk Hogan's personal body oiler would suck.

Jared's, not so much.

Posted by: Slash at June 9, 2009 6:54 PM

Um, I looked at the picture of Jared whatshisface being oiled up and failed to spot the suckitude.

Stupid internet with it's sometimes untranslatable sarcasm!

Posted by: Stacey at June 9, 2009 7:22 PM

Poor Ryan. He's a douche, but seriously...
OTOH, he's so desperate for attention, he showed that photo on TV? Twat.

Worst camping movie? Dunno, but I once watched that 'Wendigo' Supernatural episode before a trip and, yikes!

As for the J-Pad oiling pic, I reiterate my 'guh' from Websters. He was not my favourite Winchester at all, I guess I had to meet him to appreciate him. There's something about a man that big....
Bunk. Now.

Posted by: Tarn at June 10, 2009 5:49 AM

So how many people involuntarily roared "GROOVY!" at number 27?

Posted by: James at June 10, 2009 6:28 AM


















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