free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 06/04/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

transformers.jpg

Pajiba Love

Check out this totally bitchin’ Optimus Prime v. Bonecrusher fight scene from the new Transformers movie. Yeah!! Bonecrusher go smash! (Popoholic)

Not that I give two shits about the “artistic integrity” of some crappy estrogen-fueled miniseries dreck starring (gah!) Debra Messing — But even so, this is pretty fucking crass. (Slate)

Well, we certainly can’t have someone with “fat ankles” in the Oval Office. Grief. (Feministing)

The perfect gift for Dads and Grads. (QuizLaw)

What the fuck?! No, I’m sorry — But what the fuck?! (Agent Bedhead)

Yet, somehow that appalling imagery seems fit to follow with these horrifying photos of Britney Spears on the beach. Note — It helps if you don’t look directly at the butt. (IDLYITW)

I didn’t watch it, because I had much more pressing things to do last night like catching a few minutes of “America’s Funniest Home Videos” before turning on a “Larry Sanders” DVD, but for any interested parties — A rundown of the MTV Movie Awards. (Celebitchy)

Yikes — I’m not even going to touch this one. Should a notoriously Christian online dating service be required to provide equal services for the gay community? (QuizLaw)

After the jump, a video I scrounged up that a co-worker sent me years ago. Some of you may have also seen it at some point, but it’s still freaking funny.

Pajiba Love | June 4, 2007 | Comments (32)


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Comments

In exchange for financing, Pond's was allowed to put its marketing agents in the room with The Starter Wife's writers during the scripting process.

Double Gah! Shudder.

But more importantly, Salty One: is it so wrong that I, a mid-30s professional woman who never played with Transformers, loathes Michael Bay with the heat of a thousand diaper rashes and who actively avoids the Spiderman and Pirates franchises actually kind of wants to see the Transformers movie? I can smell the popcorn so bad...

Posted by: Ranylt at June 4, 2007 3:45 PM

Also couldn't be bothered to give a fuck about MTV Music Awards or anything else they do -- except Human Giant! -- BUT I have to disagree with Celebitchy about the quality of Sarah's diss on noted Empty Hole Paris Hilton.

The video of that vacant, evil dipshit being in the audience while getting just PUNISHED by Sarah was a thing of beauty. (Q: Why would you go to the awards when you know Sarah Silverman is going to publicly disembowel you?)

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 4, 2007 3:49 PM

Right there with ya, Ran -- Except I'm a few months shy of 30 and I did play with the toys. I might sneak in with a trench coat and sunglasses.

Oh, Blaster... whatever did become of you?

Posted by: litelysalted at June 4, 2007 3:52 PM

Litely is lucky--Transformers came out when I was already a teenager, and by then of course way too cool for school to be playing with Hasbro-lings (if not D&D).

My loss.

Posted by: Ranylt at June 4, 2007 4:03 PM

I don't know, if I were a gay/lesbian/transgendered person, I would NOT want some creepy old dude deciding whom I should date anyway. Hell, I'm straight and I don't want him near my dating life. That guy gives me the willies.

Also, not a Sarah Silverman fan at all, and I didn't think the joke was that funny, but...the expression on Paris' face is hilarious. See, Paris, that's why it's not cool to violate your probation and throw the N-word around. It all comes back to bite you in the ass. Eventually. (Of course, I say this now, but y'all know that when she gets out of the clink, she's going to publish some crap like "Confessions of an Inmate: How I survived for 23 days without my Juicy Couture sweats". Or something like that.)

Posted by: em at June 4, 2007 4:37 PM

The perfect gift for Dads and Grads
Thanks for the suggestion but I think I'll stick with my usual gift of a bottle of bourbon. Maybe next year

Posted by: Brian at June 4, 2007 4:39 PM

The perfect gift for Dads and Grads.

My dad is a grad this year. Would this still be appropriate?

Posted by: audrey at June 4, 2007 4:43 PM

Ranylt, of COURSE it's ok to want to see it. Hell, I'm dying to see it. I'll most likely regret it, and probably see it alone because there's no way in HELL Mrs. TK is seeing it with me and none of my friends will admit to wanting to, but I have two words for you:

GIANT ROBOTS!!!

It's making me 10 years old again. I simply can't help myself.

Oh, and that ad on Bedhead is nothing short of horrific.

Posted by: TK at June 4, 2007 4:50 PM

Re the ad -- a little help? I have no idea WTF that's supposed to be selling, though I get the obvious visual gag.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 4, 2007 4:54 PM

I can't get the agentbedhead picture to blow up so I can see what they're advertising. Like, I think I get the point, but without knowing the product in the corner, I can't help feel Im missing part of the joke. So are others judging by the comments.

Sorry about that guys -- When I first linked it this morning you could click to enlarge the entire ad. I'm not sure what happened. - LS

Posted by: Kat at June 4, 2007 4:55 PM

Hey LS, great Love today. I have to throw the Quizlaw article in the "Frivolous Lawsuit" category. I'm of course in full favor of genuine discrimation being legally opposed, but the strip joint analogy describes this perfectly:

If a gay guy/girl walked into a "traditional" strip club, he/she couldn't then sue the owner for not having strippers catering to his/her preference. They would be knowingly walking into an environment not structured to meet their specific needs. If they were not allowed to participate in the interraction based SOLELY on their preferences, that would be a different story altogether.

I wouldn't walk into a Ford dealership and sue them because the didn't carry a part for my Mitsubishi.

Posted by: Manny at June 4, 2007 4:58 PM

I never thought I would say this, but I don't think "The Starter Wife" is that bad. And this is coming from someone who HATED Debra Messing on Will & Grace (Grace was an annoying, self-absorbed harpy) so I was surprised that the movie was actually interesting.

For one thing, there are no real "Grace" moments in it, (Thank God) and the characters, while some are pretty obvious (token gay interior designer friend, boozing 40 something friend, etc), at least they are given some depth, and it's not being rushed through like so many mini-series are. It puts me in the mind of an older, slightly smarter Desperate Housewives.

Plus, Miranda Otto is in it, and unfortunately, I still have a soft spot for her due to Lord of the Rings.

And that commercial is hilarious. Frankly, my parents would've taken off the belt or just smacked me right in the store, but that's just my family.

Posted by: Brie at June 4, 2007 5:22 PM

Kat, I found the ad elsewhere -- it's for hymen-tightening gel. I tried to post the link so you can see the ad better, but they intercepted me because I had a URL in the message.

Just Google "Salem" and -- gack -- "hymen tightening."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 4, 2007 5:29 PM

Hymen tightening gel!? WTF?

I've had friends who've lived in Islamic countries who describe the experience of purdah as actually freeing in some sense because they don't have to worry about how their hair looks, or whether their butts will be needlessly photographed and nationally mocked while simply swimming at the beach. But apparently women in Dubai get to feel self-conscience about the quality of their hymens. That's a whole level of worry I'm so pleased to live without.

Posted by: Jen at June 4, 2007 6:43 PM

The image is still clickable . . . I'm guessing that some folks have their popup blockers on?

Posted by: agent bedhead at June 4, 2007 7:11 PM

Meh - lay off Britney. I respect a girl who lets her imperfect ass hang out. Seriously.

Posted by: Samantha T at June 4, 2007 7:15 PM

AB: The image loads into the browser, but the product is down in the corner and off the screen; can't scroll to it, for whatever reason.

Sorry, like they always say, much ado about hymen tightener ....

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 4, 2007 7:44 PM

I KNEW that geek apathy was bullshite. LS, do not fight it. It only hurts more if you fight. Welcome it. Let it wash over you. It doesn't want to hurt you. It wants to LOVE you.

Let the geek in, LS. Let the geek IN.

On the other topics:

Dammit, AB, what the fuck?!!!!! Seriously! What the FUCK.

I didn't know eHarmony was Christian-based. I just thought it was using feel-good language to get people to buy into it. Still, I agree with the guy on QuizLaw. COnsidering there are companies that are more than willing to steal customers away from them, and considering eHarmony doesn't feel they are suited for homosexual couplings, why bother with a lawsuit. Simply take your business elsewhere; if they don't want your money, and someone else does, screw them. Forcing them to do something that they are ill-equipped to do will not make their service better. Another good point raised: if she wins, wouldn't that pretty much make her the only lesbian there, at least for a while? Unless the people on that site were in denial, I don't see how she would get any satisfaction from this.

And that video was WRONG. Not AB-hymen-ad bad, but wrong. All the folks who were complaining about the message about condoms and unplanned pregnancy in Knocked Up: Is this better or worse? And since I laughed at it, am I pure evil?

Posted by: Vermillion at June 4, 2007 9:58 PM

I thought the condom video was funny. Who wants a bad kid? And an unplanned one at that.

Posted by: Bianca Reagan at June 4, 2007 11:26 PM

The husband and I laughed our asses off at Sarah Silverman. Seriously, how is it that no one but Sarah remembers that Paris's career-making moment was when her boyfriend released the video of her having sex with him? It absolutely freaks me out that people are naming their babies after her (including a couple from my own church! Paris Lachey ____!) I say rock on, Sarah Silverman! There is no better smackdown than the public smiting of idiot celebrities who don't DO anything except behave like morons.

Posted by: A Marine's Wife at June 5, 2007 12:31 AM

brie said-
" ...coming from someone who HATED Debra Messing on Will & Grace (Grace was an annoying, self-absorbed harpy)..."

yes, but so was jack..........
lol!

my son at about age four LOVED the transformers, and also another in that same sort of thing "mask" (the cartoon, not cher or jim carrey). and sing the theme song while he played:
"TRANSFORMERS- robots in the sky!
TRANSFORMERS-NO ONE EATS THEIR EYES!..."
probably funnier in person, but he was sooo serious and deep in playland. i still have bits of the figures mashed into the dirt out back. one of the HE-MAN characters he had was SPIKOR an odd looking purple and red (as i remember) bad guy with SPIKES all over his body. my kid got the part about how his name (spikor) described the character's appearence (covered in spikes).
(drum roll, please, here comes the punch line) for some weird reason, he couldn't remember his name. so he dubbed him "PORCUPINE MAN" and the "sharp fings" on his body were....
PORKS.
think about. true story!

i get the hint. no more blogging after 10 pm pacific. but you guys started it!

Posted by: bionic bunny at June 5, 2007 4:05 AM

Ahaaaaaa! Mask! Matt Trakker versus Miles Mayhem, those were some crafty toys! I've still got a whole stash of them up the attic somewhere. I hope they're so not gonna make that into a movie, for it will suck beyond belief.

The Transformers movie will of course be the high point of the summer. Next to that open-air concert of The National.

Posted by: Jeff K at June 5, 2007 7:27 AM

I feel terribly sad that people are saying how awful and horrific Britney looks when I would kill to look like that in a bikini.

Some love for the normal-looking girls, please. We just aren't air-brushed in real life.

Posted by: elsworthy at June 5, 2007 8:32 AM

TRANSFORMERS-NO ONE EATS THEIR EYES!...probably funnier in person"

Yes, probably, but nevertheless, I already know that line is going to be running through my head all damn day, and I'll be snickering to myself, giving my co-workers one more piece of evidence that I am mentally unstable. If I'm lucky I'll be able to prevent myself from humming it under my breath.

I'm not sure whether to curse you or thank you. It was my first laugh of the day.

Posted by: Jerce at June 5, 2007 9:27 AM

I hear you, elsworthy. I personally would have eschewed the thong, but really. She doesn't look that bad for a normal person. And she's had two babies! Good grief.

Posted by: Bianca Reagan at June 5, 2007 9:31 AM

Oh dear lord, I LOVED MASK!! - "Mobile Armored Strike Kommand," I believe it was, and I so wanted to be Gloria and race cars. I still have a MASK coloring book.

And I can't wait for Transformers.

Posted by: pinkcheese at June 5, 2007 12:38 PM

Thank you, elsworthy and Bianca. The woman has had 2 kids for Christ's sake. Thongs are not my personal swimwear choice, but she's rocking that one.

Posted by: firebird81 at June 5, 2007 12:50 PM

I'm breaking my own self-created ban on mentioning Britney for this: She may be a fucking train wreck of a human being and a disaster as a mother, but I can't really criticize her looks. She's less hot than she once was, but if she was walking down the street (and didn't need a wig), 95% of guys would still ogle her.

OK, ban is now officially reinstated.

Posted by: TK at June 5, 2007 1:37 PM

Well, as to not come off like a total schmuck, I posted this more out of the horror of the choice of swimwear itself and not the physical condition of the butt underneath.

However, Pajibians have spoken and I declare a Spears moratorium on the Love. Although, between the one in jail and the one in rehab, this does make it difficult posting gossip links most days. ;)

Posted by: litelysalted at June 5, 2007 1:53 PM

hey, if it's difficult posting gossip links, then for dog's sake please don't do it! I was naively hoping that the addition of the two smart females on here would maybe, just maybe, put a stop to the linking of the stupid "oh my god becky, look at her butt!" type posts, but I'm now so sad.
I don't get it. You see the wrongness in hymen tightening gel (I feel dirty even typing that!)but you're fine with slut-shaming Paris (OK, I feel pretty dirty typing her name and therefore adding to the bizarre obsession, too) and you see the wrongness in dissing Hillary Clinton's fat ankles, but Britney's fat ass is fair game.
Am I the only one who sees the disconnect here?

Posted by: isabelle at June 5, 2007 2:40 PM

Litely, if it'll get us away from debating they-who-shall-remain-nameless, then fuck it, I'll start running around with no underwear, crack up my car, pick up a coke habit, sleep with a few skeeze-bags, check into rehab, throw temper tantrums, and write sub-literate apologies.

Seriously, I love you guys that much. Plus, it might be fun. And it'll shake the hell out of my quiet little suburban life.

I draw the line at wearing a thong, though. We've got to have some law.

Posted by: TK at June 5, 2007 2:44 PM

"...running around with no underwear, crack up my car, pick up a coke habit, sleep with a few skeeze-bags, check into rehab, throw temper tantrums, and write sub-literate apologies."

-Sounds like my high school years - Hay-o!

Butt seriously (see what I did there?), she who shall not be named can't walk around with 4 pounds of cottage cheese in a 2 pound bag knowing she's followed everywhere she goes and not expect that someone will get a picture of her that's not exactly flattering.

ANd TK, if you're one of the 95% that would ogle her, you're dead to me.

Posted by: Manny at June 5, 2007 3:17 PM