free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 06/03/09 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

vegas-strip.jpg
What Happens In Vegas ... Blibbedy Blibbedy Blah

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | June 3, 2009 | Comments (39)

In correlation with The Hangover coming out later this week, here are six movies in which very bad things happen in Vegas. (PW)

Speaking of The Hangover, here is co-star Heather Graham who mercifully has few speaking parts and Heather Graham’s boobs at the premiere of it. (Yeeeah!)

And here is an interview with one of the actors of The Hangover almost as talented as Heather Graham’s boobs. (AV Club)

Apparently Pauly Shore’s entire career can be boiled down to three jokes. Which probably partly explain why, you know, he doesn’t have one anymore. (Screen Junkies)

Suri Cruise is still the title-holder for cutest celebrity spawn ever. (Webster’s)

Here are the 20 sexiest ugly people. Wait, isn’t that an oxymoron? I don’t think any of these people are sexy. Well, Mickey Rourke, obviously, but that was before he got himself all ugged up. (nerve)

Ha! Anyone remember “The Cowboys of Moo Mesa?” Here are a bunch of sad, pathetic Ninja Turtle rip-off cartoons. (atom)

The latest incarnation of FMyLife is kind of like Chicken Soup for the Soul compacted into bite-sized, short attention-span snippets. Thanks, Nadine! (Gives Me Hope)

I’ve got a review of the show going up later today, but if you haven’t been following, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag made their unceremonious exit from “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!” last night. (Agent Bedhead)

This is a great list of the most feminist television characters. Noticeably absent is Heidi Montag. I don’t know how they could have left that one out. (Jezebel)

Fox News is naturally washing their hands in any and all responsibility for the murder of Dr. George Tiller. Did you really expect otherwise? (Burning Violin)

If Jerry Seinfeld used a lot more of the “F” word, this is probably what it would sound like if he did a bit on umbrellas. (KSK)

No wonder Archie ended up proposing to Veronica. Turns out that Betty is a goddamn lunatic. (Mighty God King)

I’ve been doing my best to ignore both Octomom and Kate Gosselin, but now apparently Octomom is embroiled in some sort of a feud with Kate Gosselin. And that is actually kind of awesome. (Celebitchy)

Here’s a bunch of “Sesame Street” muppets saying filthy things. It’s probably one of the most juvenile things I’ve ever posted, but see if you don’t laugh:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


← The 10 Best Music Videos of the 80s | I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here! Review →



Comments

FMyLife is a classic. I remember seeing a link to it in Pajiba once and I spent ages reading it. Reading about other people's misery is strangely addictive (and entertaining). I don't even want to click because I know I won't stop reading. And I'll probably favourite the site this time round not to lose it.

Posted by: barf at June 3, 2009 1:15 PM

Why does octomom want to bash kate for the way she looks? We don't go doing this shit when someone has one kid or two so why all the attention just because she has eight or for all we care, sixteen. Giving birth affects different mums in different ways. There's nothing to bash. There's nothing interesting. This is not newsworthy. Octomom should shut the fuck up and the media should stop giving her attention.

"Douche, cock... fag" Ah. Poetry. Go muppets!

Posted by: barf at June 3, 2009 1:21 PM

Ok, I admit, I got a little choked up reading a few of those Gives Me Hope articles. Even if they are bogus. Damn my sensitivity.

Wow, I do remember Cowboys of Moo Mesa. I feel somewhat shamed.

Posted by: Brie at June 3, 2009 1:23 PM

That list of cartoons is totally missing Biker Mice From Mars.

And that list of sexy ugly people is totally missing Dustin. Ba-zoom!

Posted by: ChristianH at June 3, 2009 1:27 PM

JUST KITTENS, DUSTIN!

Posted by: ChristianH at June 3, 2009 1:27 PM

I didn't watch Cowboys of Moo Mesa, but I did watch Samurai Pizza Cats, The Mighty Ducks and Street Sharks. Actually, we even had the little toys too. There was one of that had a tongue that actually moved, and my mom brought into class one day to show it to my first grade teacher. So of course, she's making the shark-thing wiggle it's tongue, and first thing the teacher says in front of me?

"Are there battery-powered versions of those?"

And that's when I knew I was gay.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at June 3, 2009 1:29 PM

No Vegas Vacation? Mr. Papageorgio would not be pleased, nor would Mr. Wayne Newton. "Eddie, has anyone ever told you that you're bad luck? ...You know, those were my mother's dying words."

Posted by: slower lower at June 3, 2009 1:34 PM

Anyone who's seen Andy Daily on Vegas (Sorry, I couldn't find the video.) knows that slogans a god damn lie. You're still 10 grand in debt, contracted an entirely unknown strain of hepatitis, and married a 300 pound cocaine dealer in a fit of drug induced madness.

Posted by: George at June 3, 2009 1:40 PM

I recognized Cowboys of Moo Mesa and Street Sharks more because I remember the toys than because I ever watched the show. However, I DID watch Mighty Ducks because I loved those movies. I'm even subscribed to the youtube channel of the guy who played Gunnar Stahl in MD2.

However, my dad has regretted allowing me access to a television set as a child when, during the NHL playoffs, I would occasionally ask "Why don't they try the Flying V? It's UNBEATABLE!"

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at June 3, 2009 1:40 PM

I hear Heather Grahams cleavage is up for the role of Gracie Law in the BTiLC reboot/make/imagining.

It also cures blindness, erectile dysfunction and all known STD's.

Posted by: admin at June 3, 2009 1:46 PM

Also I object to the inclusion of Tilda Swinton on the "sexy/ugly" list only because she's the only actress that multiple people have told me I resemble. She is definitively sexy. That is all.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at June 3, 2009 1:47 PM

SWINTON is completely sexy and totally hot. She is SWINTON.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 3, 2009 1:59 PM

Street Sharks is great only because I still use the phrase "Jawsome!"

It's really not that funny, now that I think about it. Jawsome is now retired.

Posted by: Snath at June 3, 2009 2:15 PM

And that's when I knew I was gay.

That would do it.

Posted by: admin at June 3, 2009 1:46 PM

Her cleavage saved us from an alien invasion once. Remember when we almost started speaking Vlaxian? You don't? Exactly. CLEAVAGE.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 3, 2009 2:16 PM

Why all the Heather Graham hate in Pajibastan?

I don't get it.

Posted by: Big Daddy Bacchus at June 3, 2009 2:16 PM

Is Nerve kidding with that list?!

20. No.
19. No.
18. No.
17. Good GOD No.
16. No.
15. No.
15. No.
14. No.
13. No.
12. No.
11. *vomit* No.
10. No.
9. No.
8. No.
7. No.
6. No.
5. Hrmmm...Well...No.
4. No.
3. No.
2. No.
1. THIS WHOLE FUCKING THING HAS GOT TO BE A JOKE.

Posted by: Jerce at June 3, 2009 2:19 PM

After that display, I think Octomom should be the curse-bestowing character in Drag Me To Hell 2.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 3, 2009 2:19 PM

Sexiest ugly person?

Jeff Goldblum. I can't explain it. Dude shouldn't be at all attractive. But I still want to do to dirty, dirty things to him.

And come on all those people are just plain ugly. Except for Tilda--she is awesome and can look absolutely gorgeous. Did you see "BUrn After Reading"? She was HOT in that.

Samurai Pizza Cats was hilarious and weird. As are most Japanese things.

Posted by: figgy at June 3, 2009 2:35 PM

Why all the Heather Graham hate in Pajibastan?

I don't get it.
----------------------------------
Posted by: Big Daddy Bacchus at June 3, 2009 2:16 PM

Mine was praise. I could cuddle up twixt those lovely pillows and sleep like a baby for days. Also, I think she's a decent actress, but she hasn't really done much lately.

Posted by: admin at June 3, 2009 2:41 PM

Why all the Heather Graham hate in Pajibastan?

I have no idea, really. I stopped asking about such things so long ago.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 3, 2009 2:42 PM

Samurai Pizza Cats.....dude!! *Sniff* man, good days

Posted by: Nadine at June 3, 2009 2:43 PM

Posted by: admin at June 3, 2009 2:41 PM

What he said, actually. Gotta hit refresh more.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 3, 2009 2:43 PM

I agree with everyone who has said that the ugly sexy people are not sexy, with the exception of Rourke (mildly) and Swinton, who's just balls out awesome in every way, including but not limited to sex appeal. I do think a lot of those people are handsome/good looking/beautiful/interesting, but there's a difference between interesting and sexy.

Posted by: Marcela at June 3, 2009 2:50 PM

She is SWINTON.

That's a Fug Girls reference, right AvB? Because if so, I heart you so hard.

Posted by: lizzieborden at June 3, 2009 3:00 PM

It sure is, lizzieb!

It also happens to be true. She is majestic and fierce. Bold and unconcerned. And also flavorful. I aspire to be her, and to do her.

She is SWINTON.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 3, 2009 3:11 PM

Good luck with that, AvB, because this is what she currently does:

http://www.sandrokopp.com/17.html

Actually, that's disingenuous. She's shacked up with that guy AND the father of her children who's in his late 60's. They all live together up in a castle in Scotland or something totally crazy like that.

She's my hero.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at June 3, 2009 3:20 PM

That's ok, I'll do him too!

Although, truth be told, he's a bit old for me. Ah, well.

She is also my hero.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 3, 2009 3:23 PM

Hahaa, Lizzie and Anna, I was reading that list and in SWINTON's description I automatically read her name SWINTON every single time. She's not a sexy ugly person, she's a sexy sexy person and may in fact be Bowie's long lost twin robot from the Glam Future Planet of Fiercetron VII

Posted by: Nadine at June 3, 2009 4:28 PM

That Jezebel article is also missing feminist characters of color...

Posted by: vic at June 3, 2009 4:43 PM

That Vegas list is bullshit...3 words.

Very Bad Things

Posted by: PissBoy at June 3, 2009 4:58 PM

she's a sexy sexy person and may in fact be Bowie's long lost twin robot from the Glam Future Planet of Fiercetron VII

Ahahhahahaahahahahah! Awesome.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 3, 2009 5:21 PM

Yay, for the GFY love! SWINTON is my hero for many, many reasons. Her Fug Award was snatched away. She is so sexy and also an excellent actress.

Posted by: bonnie at June 3, 2009 6:31 PM

RE Why all the Heather Graham hate in Pajibastan?
I have no idea, really. I stopped asking about such things so long ago. Posted by: Vermillion at June 3, 2009 2:42 PM

My guess is, because she's a hot blonde with big boobies. I like Heather Graham. Not because of the boobies, mostly because of her appearances on "Scrubs," which were awesome.

And cutest celebrity spawn is not Suri Cruise. She's cute as can be, alright, but that Shiloh Pitt-Jolie kid is freakin' adorable, beautiful, etc. I mean, as long as we're ranking celebrity kids, that's my vote.

Posted by: Slash at June 3, 2009 7:32 PM

Slash, I'm on the Shiloh Pitt-Jolie train too. If I could somehow perform genetic manipulation so that all my babies would look like her, I would. But, hey, different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at June 3, 2009 8:13 PM

Violet Affleck gets my vote in the toddler wars. She's always so happy and normal-looking.

Posted by: figgy at June 3, 2009 9:51 PM

"Why all the Heather Graham hate in Pajibastan?"

I hesitate to speak for anyone in Pajibastan, but I wrote that piece for Yeeeah. If you read it, you'll find it devoid of hateration. Well, okay, I hated on her dress a little... but dude, seriously, IT DOES NOT FIT HER. Anyway, I don't hate Heather Graham at all; I just genuinely forgot she existed and I found it kinda funny that the photo agency posts for The Hangover premiere were so full of her boobs that there was no room left over for any of the actual, you know, stars of the movie.

Posted by: Sarina at June 3, 2009 10:01 PM

I probably shouldn't admit this, but my favorite sexy ugly guy is Billy Bob Thorton. I totally get why his weird ass gets hot chicks. I wouldn't do him, but I GET it.

Posted by: superEdna at June 3, 2009 10:15 PM

RE Heather Graham dress: yeah, it was too small, but as dresses not fitting go, still looked pretty damn good on her. And I'd love to look as good in red as she does.

I dig Swinton, too.

Posted by: Slash at June 4, 2009 1:15 AM

Figgy, you KNOW it babe - it's all about the automatic swivel in that man's hips...and we've discussed the nose. Oh Yes - it is Goldblum all the way to JoyTown. I'm not even brownosing here...HIGH FIVE!

Posted by: replica at June 4, 2009 5:17 AM