free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 05/30/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

See? I told you somebody out there still likes Star Wars. (Popoholic)

Check out a slick new track from The New Pornographers’ upcoming album, “Challengers.” (Myspace)

Those of us who are inherently pessimistic aren’t just bitchy — we’re well prepared. Suck on that, optimists! (Slate)

You don’t need the “soul of a disillusioned middle-aged man” to enjoy The Moviegoer, but it probably doesn’t hurt, either. (A Special Way of Being Afraid)

The Joker in IMAX will probably make you pee your pants in giddy terror. (USA Today)

A new Japanese horror flick about evil hair extensions made from supernaturally growing hair. It kind of sounds like The Peanut Butter Solution. Bonus points to the first person who gets that reference. (Agent Bedhead)

It’s pretty bad when a child molester gets a life sentence, and the victims’ mother gets the angry, vitriolic lecture from the judge. (QuizLaw)

Because it wouldn’t be a full day without a good Britney Spears vomit story. (IDLYITW)

After the jump, a clip that is slightly less embarrassing, yet significantly more entertaining, than the short films I used to make in a (traditional) animation course in college.

Pajiba Love | May 30, 2007 | Comments (35)


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Comments

The Peanut Butter Solution? Was that the Encyclopedia Brown story whose solution hinged on how to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Posted by: Salieri2 at May 30, 2007 3:53 PM

the peanut butter solution! i never really found out what it was that scared him in the old house. i was too afraid to take my hands off my eyes. that was one of the most bizarre movies i've ever seen. those paintbrushes must have been great though.

Posted by: Lisa at May 30, 2007 3:57 PM

Pessimists Unite!

Posted by: Manny at May 30, 2007 4:00 PM

Every time I try to convince people that I'm not making up the existence of The Peanut Butter Solution, they laugh at me. Thank god I'm not the only one who has ever seen it.

Posted by: Caroline at May 30, 2007 4:29 PM

Two very unpopular statements:

1. I don't think the judge was that off with the mother.

2. I think a life sentence for molestation is too harsh. This dude is as reprehensible as they come, but I still think life imprisonment is too much.

Pajibites, I welcome your vitriolic, undoubtedly intelligent responses.

Posted by: Samantha T at May 30, 2007 4:31 PM

I think the acronym WTF may have been specifically designed for The Peanut Butter Solution.

Posted by: wrion at May 30, 2007 4:35 PM

I actually OWN the Peanut Butter Solution. :-X

Posted by: Van at May 30, 2007 4:35 PM

Oh, man, I love the New Pornographers...awesome.

Posted by: SirLee at May 30, 2007 4:36 PM

Samantha T.

You're a big doo-doo head.

Posted by: Manny at May 30, 2007 4:36 PM

Every time I try to convince people that I'm not making up the existence of The Peanut Butter Solution, they laugh at me. Thank god I'm not the only one who has ever seen it.

Me too!

Posted by: Cassie at May 30, 2007 4:37 PM

The Peanut Butter Solution was such a strange movie.. I only can remember bits and pieces. Paint brushes.. growing hair (head and pubic)... weird. haha

Posted by: TraderZed at May 30, 2007 4:45 PM

Huh. That made me want to look for my copy of "The Moveigoer". Love that book.

Ahhh, so victim-blaming is pretty far-reaching, eh? Let's come up with a slogan. "Victim Blaming: Not just for the raped!" Pathetic.

Posted by: em at May 30, 2007 4:59 PM

If not for the Internet, I would still think that "The Peanut Butter Solution" was just part of my drug-adled subconscious.

Posted by: Matt at May 30, 2007 5:03 PM

So I had to look up The Peanut Butter Solution and this wikipedia quote is one of the most awesome 1 line movie synopsis I have ever read:

"If you look up this movie on amazon.com or imdb.com and read the reviews, you'll notice that numerous people saw this movie when they were a kid and thought it was a nightmare, then later found out it was a real movie."

Posted by: missmle at May 30, 2007 5:19 PM

missmle-- That is a fantastic review.

And Lisa, it was either an old lady or the ghost of an old lady. I did have the chance to view it somewhat recently, however I believe I was fairly intoxicated by that point in the movie.

One thing you guys are all missing though, is that Celine Dion did the soundtrack! Celine fucking Dion! I am almost positive she is responsible for the movie not being released on DVD yet. That bitch.

Posted by: litelysalted at May 30, 2007 5:45 PM

Aw, man...it's not on DVD? I'm really intrigued by the title. Peanutbutter.yummm.

Posted by: pinkcheese at May 30, 2007 5:58 PM

All I remember about The Peanut Butter Solution is when the side-kick's downtown hair starts to grow out the bottoms of his pants. It was a very vivid introduction to that little sex ed. tid bit, for a 6 year old.

Posted by: majandra at May 30, 2007 5:58 PM

Re the well-prepared pessimist: That's why my basement is well-stocked for the goddamn apocalypse. Katrina + "The Road" + idiotic U.S. gov't + CA fault lines + general distrust of human nature = 90 days' supplies & water and two shotguns for Christmas. I'd hoard more if I had room.

Prob'ly not what you had in mind, litely?

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 30, 2007 6:54 PM

Ah, The Peanut Butter Solution........I so remember that movie! Craziness.

Posted by: Ariel at May 30, 2007 7:27 PM

OH MAN.
I was wondering when The New Pornographers were going to put out a new CD...SCORE!

ALSO: I agree with the above poster. When I heard that the sentence was life imprisonment for molestation I was like WHAT! Its despicable, certainly, but...What!

Posted by: Leanne at May 30, 2007 8:30 PM

To Samantha T and Leanne:
A life sentence is entirely justifiable. Consider how long the children will have to deal with this.

Posted by: Samuel Erikson at May 30, 2007 10:44 PM

I have been trying to prove for weeks that The Peanut Butter Solution existed. They thought I was crazy too. I rented that movie 4 times in one month when I was 6. Thank God someone else remembers it!!!

Posted by: Jenilane at May 30, 2007 11:46 PM

Samantha I wholeheartedly agree with your first statement. What sort of mother lets a man who sexually assaults her babysit her children? And this wasn't even a case of, "Oh it's an emergency. Let's just go through my address book and see whoever takes it." But no. She has to get her drink on. And the bitch is thanking Jesus. They should be sharing a cell.

Posted by: Travis at May 31, 2007 12:05 AM

I agree w/ S Erickson. The judge was right on both counts. A life sentence is completely justifiable.

Posted by: demondoll at May 31, 2007 12:10 AM

Samantha T, I must respectfully disagree with your second statement. I personally feel that anyone who did half the stuff they said happened doesn't deserve a second chance, not to mention the high chance of recidivism. And that mother needed to be in prison right along with him, if not on death row. She let not one, but TWO men into her house and molest her children. One could feel some pity for her the first time around and say she didn't know any better. But then she allowed it to happen AGAIN.

She obviously was not present enough to keep an eye on her children, otherwise she would have seen the warning signs. No, she got off light with that verbal thrashing she got, and maybe if more judges did that, more people like her would stop acting like spoiled teenagers and act like actual parents.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 31, 2007 12:53 AM

Oh my gosh, The Peanut Butter Solution. I can sense something rumbling up from my subconscious...

I love that Wikipedia review. That just about sums it up for me.

Posted by: Ali at May 31, 2007 12:53 AM

Oh my gosh, The Peanut Butter Solution. I can sense something rumbling up from my subconscious...

I love that Wikipedia review. That just about sums it up for me.

Posted by: Ali at May 31, 2007 12:54 AM

I hope I'm not the only person to appreciate the surrealness of a comments thread that is alternately formed of discussion of child molestation and The Peanut Butter Solution.

I must say I completely agree with Vermillion as far as the quizlaw article goes. People should be forced to take some kind of test before being allowed to procreate I swear.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at May 31, 2007 4:27 AM

The judge was right--the woman knew what kind of sick pig he was, but left her children with him so she could go out drinking? Please. I don't care if she is messed up from his abuse or not, that's still no excuse for essentially serving up her children to a perv to be molested. Yes, the molestation was entirely his fault, but she has a responsibilty to her kids, and didn't live up to it, until she finally took the pig to court. At least she did that, so I will give her that, but she deserved everything the judge said to her.

As for his life sentence, my reaction to hearing that was "Good! At least somewhere they don't give joke sentences to these animals." Everyone knows these barely human pustules do not get cured of their perversion in prison, and they just come out and do it again. How many times when you hear about yet another innocent victim of one of these pigs is he a "convicted sex offender?" More often than not. They should be removed from society permanently, and since I don't believe in the death penalty, I'll happily pay my taxes to keep them in prison for the rest of their useless lives.

Posted by: jerkygirl at May 31, 2007 8:34 AM

The judge was right--the woman knew what kind of sick pig he was, but left her children with him so she could go out drinking? Please. I don't care if she is messed up from his abuse or not, that's still no excuse for essentially serving up her children to a perv to be molested. Yes, the molestation was entirely his fault, but she has a responsibility to her kids, and didn't live up to it, until she finally took the pig to court. At least she did that, so I will give her that, but she deserved everything the judge said to her.

As for his life sentence, my reaction to hearing that was "Good! At least somewhere they don't give joke sentences to these animals." Everyone knows these barely human pustules do not get cured of their perversion in prison, and they just come out and do it again. How many times when you hear about yet another innocent victim of one of these pigs is he a "convicted sex offender?" More often than not. They should be removed from society permanently, and since I don't believe in the death penalty, I'll happily pay my taxes to keep them in prison for the rest of their useless lives.

Posted by: jerkygirl at May 31, 2007 8:34 AM

Dear God, The Peanut Butter Solution.
We watched it in third grade on a day that we had a substitute.
It scared the shit out of me. I forgot that movie existed.

Posted by: Courtie at May 31, 2007 8:56 AM

I bought the Peanut Butter Solution on VHS for my fiance for Christmas two years ago...sixty bucks! But it's still just as terrifying as when I was six years old...awesome.

PS--I also thought it was possibly a nightmare from my childhood until I Googled it. Just like Child of Glass--scariest Disney movie since Watcher in the Woods.

Posted by: cgg at May 31, 2007 11:51 AM

Dear sweet Jesus, thank you for the Peanut Butter Solution reference...every single time I have told someone about that movie they've never heard of it and (naturally) think I've lost my damn mind. Any glimmer of proof that I didn't come up with it in a booze-and-drug-fueled nightmare is more reassuring than you could ever guess.

Posted by: Josie at May 31, 2007 1:46 PM

The judge was right--the woman knew what kind of sick pig he was, but left her children with him so she could go out drinking? Please. I don't care if she is messed up from his abuse or not, that's still no excuse for essentially serving up her children to a perv to be molested. Yes, the molestation was entirely his fault, but she has a responsibility to her kids, and didn't live up to it, until she finally took the pig to court. At least she did that, so I will give her that, but she deserved everything the judge said to her.

As for his life sentence, my reaction to hearing that was "Good! At least somewhere they don't give joke sentences to these animals." Everyone knows these barely human pustules do not get cured of their perversion in prison, and they just come out and do it again. How many times when you hear about yet another innocent victim of one of these pigs is he a "convicted sex offender?" More often than not. They should be removed from society permanently, and since I don't believe in the death penalty, I'll happily pay my taxes to keep them in prison for the rest of their useless lives.

Posted by: jerkygirl at May 31, 2007 2:07 PM

Oops, sorry about the triple post. My comment wasn't showing up at first so I thought something went wrong and reposted. :(

Posted by: jerkygirl at May 31, 2007 2:09 PM