Pajiba Love 05/28/09

"Dexter" Casting News That Won't Make You Wanna Murder Someone In The Face

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (72)

After the Jimmy Smits and His Gross, Creepy Little Mustache Debacle of last season, I am pleased to announced that Dexter’s nemesis for next season will be none other than John Lithgow. I want to do a fucking cartwheel, right now. (Screen Junkies)

Britney Spears is mostly better now … Oh, except when she has her period and forgets to wear underpants and tries on couture for photo shoots. Yes, really. (Webster’s)

To celebrate Empire magazine’s 20th birthday, here is an awesome painting with 50 clues to the titles of 50 films of the past 20 years in it, if you’ve got an hour or three to kill. (Empire Online)

Oh, why look, if it isn’t the pot calling the kettle “fake” and “lame.” Paris Hilton has some words for “The Hills.” (Celebitchy)

Oh my God oh my God oh my God! Cameron Frye’s house, a.k.a. the coolest house ever, from Ferris Bueller is for sale for a mere $2.3 mil. And here are some other awesome movie homes to salivate over. (Spout)

If you want to see what all the fuss is about, here is Robert Pattinson (or “R-Pattz,” as the kids are calling him) without a shirt on. Nope. Still don’t get it. (Agent Bedhead)

I’m sure many of you remember when I posted “The Ballad of Pissboy and Marie” a few months ago, the story of finding love then losing love then doing everything in your power to get it back. Well finally we have Marie’s side of the story. And FYI, I’ve since met both of them and they’re lovely people. Here’s to working things out. (Chronicles of a Whorish Mouth)

Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend is the dumbest person on the planet Earth, now with video evidence. I know, I know. First Britney, then Paris, now Miley. Trust me though, it’s totally worth it. (Yeeeah!)

Here are the seven deadly sins, as portrayed by your favorite film and television characters. Sinalicious! (Film School Rejects)

Did you know Dante was originally supposed to die in Clerks? Here are a bunch of movies which were originally supposed to have far more depressing endings. (mental floss)

Nothing provokes pure, unadulterated rage quite like those goddamned little smiley cartoon men in IKEA assembly instructions. (Holy Taco)

OK, so remember the Three Wolf Moon T-shirt from amazon I linked recently? Well it’s inspired its own parody video with a song from Pocahontas. Holy crap is this funny. Thanks to admin for pointing it out!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

Follow @pajiba

← Columbine by Dave Cullen | Movies That Wouldn't Work on Broadway →

Comments

Dexter’s nemesis for next season will be none other than John Lithgow.

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Posted by: Jerce at May 28, 2009 1:03 PM

I seriously just yelled "JOHN LITHGOW!!!!!" at my monitor right now.

I had my reservations about the next season after this past one, but not anyMOREOHMYGODJOHNLITHGOWAHHHH!!!!!

Posted by: vic at May 28, 2009 1:06 PM

As someone currently experiencing the miracle of bleeding for several days and not dying, I'm inclined to give Britney a pass. Shit sneaks up on you. Also, wouldn't thinking people have noticed after dress #1 that something was up and gotten her some Tampax instead of being catty fucktarts just waiting to blab to the tabloids?

Yes, I do lose my sense of humor along with my uterine lining. Thanks for asking.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 28, 2009 1:22 PM

Genny, I'm with you on this one. You'd think SOMEONE in that room would have had or found a tampon. Regardless of the amount of crazy Britney's been packing, she at least deserves a LITTLE humane treatment.

Posted by: Bonnie at May 28, 2009 1:28 PM

I thought the day couldn't get any better than that Lithgow news.

Then I watched the Lithgow "Pep" video on that link.

So much better.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 1:30 PM

You mark the calendar every month, and Aunt Rosie still shows up on the wrong day. Give Britney a free pass on this one. It's happened to the best of us.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 28, 2009 1:34 PM

I have 46 on that painting. 39 I got on my own and my fiance and I got the other 7. I gave up last night after looking at the last 4 for like an hour and not getting it. PLEASE HELP. I give up!

The ones I don't have:

1) the lady grinding books
2) the three girls and the guy on the ground
3) the guy walking on a tightrope (NO IT'S NOT MAN ON WIRE WTF)
4) the three Cs on the wall

Posted by: figgy at May 28, 2009 1:51 PM

Figgy:

I got 43 before I sought help via the interwebs.

1) It's a pulp grinder.
2) They're all the same...people who are exactly the same are called? And they're attacking that guy.
3)It's not a tightrope. It's a line.
4) Think roman numerals.

Posted by: Marra at May 28, 2009 1:57 PM

Fuck. OK my friend finally figured out the girls attacking the guys.

FUCK YOU, PAINTING.

Posted by: figgy at May 28, 2009 1:59 PM

Damn. I feel defeated.

Thanks, Marra! It was seriously driving me insane. THANK YOU.

Posted by: figgy at May 28, 2009 2:01 PM

Also, that looked like a rope to me. Fuck you painting.

Posted by: figgy at May 28, 2009 2:02 PM

What that video, Genny (also Rusty). It'll restore your sense of humor AND your uterine lining.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at May 28, 2009 2:12 PM

Your right, Tracer, it totally did. It also screwed up the phone call my brother was on since he heard it on my computer and started laughing.

Side note: Anyone else anticipating a post on "Stuff White People Like" featuring Wolf tee shirts, worn in both ironic and non-ironic fashion?

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 28, 2009 2:33 PM

Am I to believe Enter The Dragon is under 20 years old?

yes apparently: http://www.imdb.com/find?s=all&q=enter+the+dragon&x=0&y=0

Posted by: Adere at May 28, 2009 3:25 PM

crap I meant : http://www.imdb.com/find?s=all&q=enter+the+dragon&x=0&y=0

Posted by: Adere at May 28, 2009 3:25 PM

*sigh*

I'm sleepy.

Posted by: Adere at May 28, 2009 3:26 PM

I have only SEVEN LEFT on the painting puzzle.
1. The two guys carrying the coffin with the...what fucking flag is that?
2. The men with the stroller and one of them's holding a little boy's hand (is that one clue or two or WTF? Oh, looks like it's three clues).
3. The mathy-looking stuff on the side of the water tank.
4. Two musical instruments. What are those, lutes?
5. The "20 yrs" made of ice.

Someone help me before I KILL MYSELF. Aaaargh.

Posted by: Jerce at May 28, 2009 3:29 PM

Jerce

3. 3.14 has a name. That's the answer

5. It's an age. Made of ice.

I don't know the other three either.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 28, 2009 3:34 PM

Oh, yeah, and the fucking windmill on the hill. I want to kill the people who thought this thing up.

Posted by: Jerce at May 28, 2009 3:34 PM

Jerce,

1. It's the English Flag, and it's not a coffin, it's a stretcher, which makes whoever they're carrying a....

2. The group of normal-sized kids is one clue, and they belong to the two men. So they're the men's children, or, rephrased.....

The group of smaller children is another clue. They're smaller, or littler, than normal sized children, which makes them.....

3. That's the mathematical value of Pi.

4. No, they're lyres. Or Liars.

5. 20 years is an age. Made of ice.

I got 37 before getting stuck. Thank God for the internet or I'd never get any sleep tonight. (It's just gone midnight here.)

Posted by: la reigna at May 28, 2009 3:39 PM

Oh, and the windmill is red. Or Rouge, if you will.

Posted by: la reigna at May 28, 2009 3:40 PM

Thank you, Genny, but I got the 3.14; it's the charty-looking thing below the 3.14 that has me stumped. And thank you for 5 also; now I feel like an idiot.

Posted by: Jerce at May 28, 2009 3:41 PM

Thanks, la reigna. Maybe now I won't have to go on a killing spree! But I think that windmill clue is a mean trick.

Posted by: Jerce at May 28, 2009 3:45 PM

Jerce, I just got that one. It's a mathematical system called a matrix.

(I would've tried to dress that one up a bit, but there's really no way around it.)

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 28, 2009 3:48 PM

Thank you, Genny, but I got the 3.14; it's the charty-looking thing below the 3.14 that has me stumped.

It is a mathematical construct that is also the name for a movie recently reviewed here. One with lots of leather and bullets being dodged...

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 3:50 PM

Aww, you beat me to it.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 3:51 PM

GAH. How did I miss the one with my favorite movie??

This painting is KILLING ME.

Posted by: Julie at May 28, 2009 3:53 PM

That three wolf moon shirt had the funniest comments in history. I couldn't stop reading them!

Posted by: ChristianH at May 28, 2009 4:01 PM

Oh shit. the part with the guy on the red line is for two different movies.

By the way, 36/50 with no help. Boo. YAH.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 4:02 PM

Make that 41/50. Getting stuck on that book and grinder thing

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 4:08 PM

Jerce, do you recognize the kind of chart it is specifically? Maybe if it were written in bright green on a black background it would look more familiar?

Posted by: That Girl at May 28, 2009 4:12 PM

Damn, you people comment fast! I'll just curl up over in the corner now.

I also can't find the Three Wolf shirt funny, because I dated guys in high school who wore them unironically. It's embarrassing.

Posted by: That Girl at May 28, 2009 4:14 PM

Thanks to everyone who helped; really, I mean it. I was getting a headache...I'll never understand why it was so fucking important to get all 50 movies.

That Girl, you should go to the original "Three Wolf Shirt" offering on Amazon.com and read the Customer Reviews. Try not to die of the funny. After that, search Amazon for "ladybugs" (live ones).

Posted by: Jerce at May 28, 2009 4:27 PM

Only missing one now - the flower in the beak of the black bird? Help...?

Posted by: n. wood at May 28, 2009 4:27 PM

eek!
& here i was all depressed that LOST is over and i had totally forgotten about dexter! this lithgow news is the highlight of an previously crappy day!

Posted by: gem at May 28, 2009 4:29 PM

The black bird is The Crow. The flower on the other hand, I can't get. And still stuck on that lady grinding the books up.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 4:30 PM

n. wood...what type of flower is it?

Posted by: MN_Jen at May 28, 2009 4:32 PM

Just when I finish that last comment, I got the book and grinder one:

It isn't grinding the books. It is PULPING them.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 4:33 PM

48 down.

I can only find one more clue - The Queen's Tombstone?

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 28, 2009 4:53 PM

OK - It looks like that may be two clues?

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 28, 2009 4:56 PM

Brave Sir Robin,

It's not necessarily a queen, and that's the scottish flag at the bottom.

And for me, there was a clue between the bolt and the feet that I had trouble finding - the patch of shamrocks. Did you get that one?

Posted by: Marra at May 28, 2009 5:00 PM

Switch the Royal Gender, and pay attention to the flag by the headstone.

Posted by: That Girl at May 28, 2009 5:01 PM

OK -

And no, I didn't get the Shamrocks - Thanks!

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 28, 2009 5:01 PM

OK - The Tombstone clue sucked worse than the three girls "Attacking clue.

But done!

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 28, 2009 5:07 PM

Think of another word for shamrock.

I just finished! But I needed clues from a friend (who cheated!) for about 10 of them.

Posted by: MN_Jen at May 28, 2009 5:11 PM

Okay, I'm missing Frankenstein and Cerberus, and the line of cars at the back. I'm guessing they're really easy and I've just got a mental block...

Posted by: That Girl at May 28, 2009 5:16 PM

That Girl,

Yeah, the cars are all sitting in....

And Frankenstein and Cerberus are types of ___, and they're working for a company. An incorporated company.

Lord, I suck at being cryptic.

Posted by: Marra at May 28, 2009 5:18 PM

I'm not getting the guy standing on the ladder by the star. Because I'm dumb, or something.

Also, I'm missing like, two answers with the subway train and the guy standing on the line.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 28, 2009 5:27 PM

Still blank on the cars one.

Genny (also Rusty), what is being painted on the train? Also, is the guy just standing on the line, or is he doing something else?

Posted by: That Girl at May 28, 2009 5:29 PM

Giving good clues without giving away the answer is HARD.

The Crow is holding another clue, which is a flower; and the TYPE of flower is the title you need.

Cerberus and Frankenstein's Creature are two types of...and they work for a company which is..., according to the van.

The line of cars are stuck in a bunch of cars, and what do we call a bunch of cars, especially when they're stuck?

The shamrocks have another common name, as in "I found a four-leaf mumnuhuh" and they are in a field.

The gravestone has a Scottish flag on it, and "HRH" can stand for "HIS Royal Highness" as easily as for "Her." (P.S. This clue sucks.)

The lady is using the machine to destroy the books in a certain manner, and books can be either fact or mumnuhuh. (This clue also sucks real bad.)

Posted by: Jerce at May 28, 2009 5:30 PM

Hey, there we go!

Am I allowed to be smug that I didn't look up any of the answers, I just begged for hints?

Posted by: That Girl at May 28, 2009 5:32 PM

I'm not getting the guy standing on the ladder by the star. Because I'm dumb, or something.

The ladder guy has a feather DUSTER in his hand, using it on the STAR.

Also, I'm missing like, two answers with the subway train and the guy standing on the line.

The train has a lot of dots, or SPOTS, on it. And the MAN on the line is walking on a WIRE, which turns into a THIN LINE on the groud.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 5:33 PM

and the TYPE of flower is the title you need.

Still have no idea. None of my answers are working.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 5:35 PM

Vermillion, check out Judi Dench's filmography on imdb. Or Kate Winslet's.

Posted by: MN_Jen at May 28, 2009 5:39 PM

Thanks, MN_Jen. That did it, and I am done! Woohoo!

FUCK THAT PAINTING!

Posted by: Vermillion at May 28, 2009 5:47 PM

I was on the same level as the great Vermillion! Yay!! All done, thanks to MN_Jen!

Ahhhh - that was satisfying! Disturbingly so!

Posted by: n. wood at May 28, 2009 6:13 PM

God, it's PAINFUL how hard that flower is for me!!!

Posted by: ChristianH at May 28, 2009 6:46 PM

John Lithgow? Fantastic!

Posted by: Master Mahan at May 28, 2009 6:52 PM

50 out of 50!!!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!!

Posted by: ChristianH at May 28, 2009 6:55 PM

Well, I'm tackling the painting now, and that stupid man with the sharks, the giant screw, and that Greek soldier are driving me crazy!

Some of these are quite obscure, and really unfair, like the Eagle with the "I" in its mouth and the man cleaning the star. Luckily I remembered the former off-hand without actually having seen it, but I had to come here to finally figure out the latter.

Posted by: vic at May 28, 2009 6:55 PM

Never mind, got the screw one. Forgot that was only a certain kind of screw.

Posted by: vic at May 28, 2009 7:00 PM

John Lithgow?

I hope Dexter somehow gets trasnferred to a mountain town.

Is Janine Turner returning to FNL? Lets get her cast too. Man, she still gots it.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at May 28, 2009 7:30 PM

Okay, look I'm so tired/drunk/impatient I don't know and have to find out: is that PEP video from Lithgow's previous oeuvre, or is it from Dexter? Because as much as I love broccoli, the idea of Dex's next rival singing and dancing about veggies on TV makes me happy in a way i can't really explain........

Posted by: jkate at May 28, 2009 10:35 PM

I thought I couldn't figure out the Pirate clue. It turns out I just didn't know how to spell Caribbean. One r, two bs, and not the other way around!

Posted by: Simon A at May 29, 2009 9:52 AM

The painting says I have 47, but I've still got four blanks: two with the biplane and banner, and two with the fathers/children. What's wrong with my math?
(And how's about a couple of clues??)

Posted by: CatBallou at May 29, 2009 6:38 PM

The bi-plane and banner are one clue, CatBallou. Look closely at the plane and think literally.

And can anyone still help me out with the damn man with sharks and the Greek soldier. I know this MUST be obvious, but I can't figure it out and I refuse to cheat by looking up film names from the last 20 years. SO I'm cheating by asking you for clues.

Posted by: vic at May 29, 2009 8:04 PM

Cat The men with the children: there are three small children. That makes them what kind of children? (Kate!)
And the other children obviously belong to the men..

vic the Greek soldier is not Greek. He's Roman and he's not a soldier. More an entertainer...
And the man is doing what with the sharks...

I got stuck at 45:
+ The two dad's flags..my two dads? Dads army?? I don't get it.
+ still not getting the triplets attacking the man.
+ the screw? A name for a special kind of screw?
+ The two signs on the right. One is some sort of height indicator and the other...?

Posted by: AlwaysConfused at May 29, 2009 9:03 PM

Always Confused

The flags are the property of the dads, or fathers.
That one is nasty, but they're not triplets, they're exact copies of each other.
It's a kind of screw you use with a Nut. It's also the last name of an Olympic gold medalist from 2008.
5,280 feet is a mile, and the sign has a color to it. The other sign indicates that it is a nation that does not welcome elderly males.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 29, 2009 9:18 PM

AlwaysConfused: Ha! Thanks very much. Though that man still looks more Greek than Roman. I also don't think I've ever heard the name of the man with sharks film before. Shows how much I know.

Posted by: vic at May 30, 2009 3:17 PM

Hey thanks for the clues guys! Just one left. The stupid girls... Maybe someone can just spell it out for me? Clearly I'm too stupid to figure this out on my own.
vic I know! I just guessed the shark film. Never heard of it...

Posted by: AlwaysConfused at May 30, 2009 4:41 PM

AlwaysConfused: Ah, good, glad I wasn't alone there. Seemed like I was the only one having trouble with it...

As for your current predicament: Those three girls aren't just related, they're exact genetic duplicates of each other. And that poor boy on the ground! What are they *COUGH*StarWarsEpisode2*COUGH* doing to him?!

Lamest clue ever. Seriously. I only figured it out by coming here.

Posted by: vic at May 30, 2009 11:05 PM

Aaaargh! Stupid painting! Stupid clue!
Thanks vic. Now I can enjoy the holidays...

Posted by: AlwaysConfused at May 31, 2009 6:43 AM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

"Dexter" Casting News That Won't Make You Wanna Murder Someone In The Face

Comments