free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 05/23/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Here you have it: the Obama presidency will be sunshine, roses and unicorns. The picture totally said so. (QuizLaw)

Oprah is giving up meat for 21 days. And since we all know that’s not a euphemism for Steadman, clearly Oprah is on another diet. (Yeeeah!)

Madonna has finally decided to move on down to Miami into a condo with her three best girlfriends. (WIMB)

Possibly the best sketch comedy show we never got to see featured the talents of Joel Hodgson, David Cross, Paul Feig, Doug Benson and Judd Apatow. And yet, “Mind of Mencia?” Really?? (CC Insider)

Michelle Williams looked stunningly gorgeous at Cannes. (Celebitchy)

I have way too much pride to live in the same county which is home to the fantabulous Shappell Twins. This piece features Dori a.k.a. Reba a.ka. George’s rare and awesome music video. (Via Rich at FourFour.) (OneDayAtATime)

And on that note, Emily Gould’s piece in the NYT is getting mixed reviews. (ASWOBA) and (Galley Slaves) Narcissism aside — yeah, it really must have sucked to have been a famous blogger. Tell it to someone who isn’t trying to juggle a day job, too. (New York Times)

If you haven’t caught Indy Fatigue yet — please allow me to direct you to the following trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Swing. (Black20)

And if you’re not fatigued yet, I have it on good authority that the limited edition Indiana Jones Snickers Bar is the tits. (Serious Eats)

Oh crap. People are finally starting to figure out the “secret tricks” of graphic designers. When a script font will no longer convince someone of quality, I don’t know what to do. (The Impulsive Buy)

I don’t even have the necessary anatomical parts to fully appreciate this, but I still clenched my vagina when I read it. (QuizLaw)

After the jump, IT humor, compliments of PaddyDog. Enjoy your holiday, everyone!

Pajiba Love | May 23, 2008 | Comments (56)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

IT humor, compliments of PaddyDog

Okay, PaddyDorkmeyer, that was amusing, but seriously? Dutch IT humor? Where will it end?

On a more pertinent question, if socalledonlycousins comments into the whistling wind of a barren wasteland of pre-Memorial Day Pajiba Love, does it make a sound?

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 23, 2008 3:55 PM

Oh, one more thing:

I love you, Cecil!

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 23, 2008 3:56 PM

That IT joke: it really does feel like that sometimes.

I love you, Cecil!

...?

Posted by: Vermillion at May 23, 2008 3:59 PM

Michelle Williams played Cecil in The Baxter. So adorable.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 23, 2008 4:06 PM

Em, Socalled, I'm pretty sure it's Danish. And yeah, who is Cecil and what do I NOW have to do to win back your affections? Coz you know I wasn't feeling too good after blumpie-fest.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 23, 2008 4:09 PM

QuizLaw, I am outraged at your reprehensible portrayal of Barack in that subliminally tinged picture with it's messianic undertones. Until that picture is removed I shall be forced to boycott pajiba and all of it's subsidiaries. If that means my contract with pajiba will be voided, then so be it.

Posted by: Pookie at May 23, 2008 4:16 PM

Damn, I guess I'll have to give back my Olympic medal for deciphering Northern European languages I don't speak a word of.

blumpie-fest

That's just an evil lie. You know we totally used seran wrap, and it wasn't a "fest," it was just that one time.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 23, 2008 4:18 PM

...it was just that one time.

I have the sneaking suspicion you have that as a macro, socalled.

Posted by: Sarina at May 23, 2008 4:26 PM

I'll give you fatigue, Mr. D. Me and my New Style Ukrainian girlfriend in a jumpsuit!

Dutch IT humor? Made us all laugh in a Georgia public library a year or so ago. Trust me, it's painfully universal. Painfully.

Regarding people like Emily Gould and Jacob Stein and their distress and their posing for photo shoots: that warrants another big Buddy Cole "Oh Jeeezus".

Posted by: Jay at May 23, 2008 4:29 PM

It's on autofill, along with "but I thought she wanted to be objectified."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 23, 2008 4:30 PM

Sarina:
I'm with you. If we could ever get Mrs. Socalled on here, my first question would be "how often does he say 'it was just that one time?'"

Pookie:
Ever hear of the pookie who cried wolf? I'm just not sure we can take your threats of abandonment seriously anymore. Perhaps when McCain is elected President and he names you Secretary of State, you'll find yourself too busy for these histrionics.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 23, 2008 4:33 PM

Because no one is paying attention, I'd like to poke my head in and say: I thought Emily Gould's piece was refreshingly transparent. At least she didn't try to hide her narcissism behind snark and sarcasm. It was solipsistic as hell, but at least it didn't pretend not to be.

Posted by: Dustin at May 23, 2008 4:57 PM

Our entire hospital is changing computer systems this week. We all went to classes to prepare for the change, and the first thing the instructors showed us was that clip. Yeah, it's funny, but the conversion to a whole new system is not. I think the new system is going to be a huge improvement over our old one, but godtopus the learning curve is steep and painful. The past week has made me nostalgic for pens, paper and carbon paper.

Posted by: rlr260 at May 23, 2008 5:20 PM

No, that was definitely Dutch! But the subtitles were in some Scandinavian language. And English. It kind of reminded me of watching Babette's Feast for that reason.

Posted by: Becca at May 23, 2008 5:38 PM

It's on autofill, along with "but I thought she wanted to be objectified."

You forgot "I have an alibi."

Because no one is paying attention, I'd like to poke my head in and say: I thought Emily Gould's piece was refreshingly transparent.

That is nice. Anyone got any spare caring or concern for this piece? I seem to be out.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 23, 2008 6:09 PM

No, that was definitely Dutch!

Ha! Vindicated! For once.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 23, 2008 6:17 PM

Pooks--get over yourself. Nobody gives a shit. If you don't want to read, then don't read and definitely don't post. psh. I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee. And then I throw dog poop on your shoe.

I think Barack Obama eats butterflies and poops rainbows! (but methinks it's just a white horse in the background as I see no discernible horn.)

Posted by: wsapnin at May 23, 2008 6:30 PM

Here's how far I am out of the working world. When I read IT humor, I was at first waiting for a scary clown to come lurking around the corner.

Posted by: wsapnin at May 23, 2008 6:36 PM

The horn is there. Look closer. Oh, yes. There is a horn.

Posted by: phquaryn at May 23, 2008 9:49 PM

Just seeing Joel Hodgson's name makes me happy...

Posted by: mfg at May 23, 2008 10:07 PM

Well, I did look again and I still see no horn, but whatever.

However, I did notice that he looks like he's rising out of the Illinois River with the McCluggage Bridge and Peoria, IL skyline behind him. If that's the case, that would be one dirty, stinky pony. errm..sorry, unicorn.

Posted by: wsapnin at May 23, 2008 10:53 PM

I don't know Dustin. The first thing that struck me about Emily Gould's article was how she talks about 'back in 2004 when she was 24', like she's now sooooooo mature at the ripe old age of 26. There's a huge red flag. Then I scrolled to the bottom and saw that the article is 10 pages. Whatever. The only things worth 10 pages in the NYT are an in depth analysis of the lead up to the Iraqi war, or what led up to us being such a fat nation (and the like, hopefully you get my point). I found her to be self-centered, narcissistic, and the epitome of what I can't stand about the blogging world and how I think it's ruining the current generation. Basically, she is a huge culprit of generation douchebag if I ever saw one. Transparency is one thing, but that requires having some self-reflective qualities that she obviously lacks. If she writes a similar piece in ten years, I might be interested.

Is it ok yet to talk about the generation douchebag discussion? I know a lot of people were miffed about that.

Happy long weekend to all of you fellow Pajibites who are also doing nothing special for the holiday.

Posted by: katy at May 24, 2008 12:23 AM

Hey, Paddy! Nicole! My Whovees! You know about this? I sure didn't!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/s4/news/latest/080520_news_01

Posted by: Jay at May 24, 2008 12:30 AM

"No, that was definitely Dutch!"

No it was not dutch, it is Swedish with subtitle in Norwigen or Danish.

Posted by: 13thDuke at May 24, 2008 9:16 AM

It's a classic NORWEGIAN skit! Not Dutch or Danish! The subtitle is in Swedish!

Posted by: N. Wood at May 24, 2008 9:17 AM

Yes and the other subtitle was english, Babbete's feast is actualy a Danish movie

Posted by: 13thDuke at May 24, 2008 9:19 AM

Sorry my bad its Norwgian, N. wood I bow my head in shame for not hearing my scandinavian cousins correctly.

Posted by: 13thDuke at May 24, 2008 9:21 AM

Sorry, just watched the whole thing, the subtitle is in Danish. Just saw the beginning with the "hej" (Swedish). But they are very well-known Norwegian comedians, the skit is actually many years old.

Posted by: N. Wood at May 24, 2008 9:23 AM

Good lord people, how many times must it take to get it right? The skit is Norwegian, the subtitles are Danish (and yes, English).

No Swedish in sight - except for me, I guess.

Posted by: Soda at May 24, 2008 9:33 AM

Oh, I would never expect anyone outside of Scandinavia to recognize, much less differentiate these languages! We're so insignificant I'm amazed you even try!

Posted by: N. Wood at May 24, 2008 9:37 AM

What Katy said. Anyone who reads and supports Emily Gould's solipsistic drivel in that NYT article should look up the clip on Youtube where Jimmy Kimmel repeatedly skewers Gawker.com and Gould's overall juvenile attitude. Any me-journalist who consistently places gossip and snarkiness above facts and respect for your fellow man/woman needs a good talking-to, and maybe denial of internet privileges until they evolve a little.

Posted by: DGM at May 24, 2008 11:01 AM

How come MLW never gets any love from you anymore?

Have I sunk so low as to warrant not even a MENTION in 2008 yet from my Pajiba?

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at May 25, 2008 2:50 PM

***Full disclosure: I'm drunk and sick of my family drama.

Jay, WOO!!!! I love the Whoniverse. And all things Who.

Pookie, didn't you peace out a week or so ago? Go away. You annoy the everliving fuck out of me.

Posted by: Nicole at May 25, 2008 5:20 PM

Nicole, I am not surprised by your unfortunate outburst. I do not think I am the first man you have run out of your life.

Posted by: Pookie at May 25, 2008 7:18 PM

The Gould piece was truly nauseating. I find it disturbing that she got the cover and ten pages and the poor bastard who has catastrophic brain injuries from a roadside bomb in Iraq got six pages. You write for an online gossip magazine. Get the hell over yourself.

Posted by: samantha t at May 25, 2008 8:07 PM

That Emily Whiny piece is just further proof that the DoucheBag generation has absolutely JACK. SQUAT. to contribute to the betterment of humanity.


Worthless, the lot of them, kill them all and let's *try* to fix the ones coming up behind... (not very likely).

Posted by: Old Iguana at May 25, 2008 8:58 PM

Iguanaperson - I would disagree. There's plenty of us quietly eschewing blogging about all our insignificant ups and downs or becoming MySpace whores or generally bulking up our vapidity. It's just the loudest idiots that are heard.

Dustin - I think the transparency in that article is largely an outgrowth of her narcissism. The minutae included in that story are of a solely personal nature and don't really advance anything, except perhaps hammering the point home that the author is hopelessly in love with herself. My pity is in alarmingly short supply for that woman.

She's a sad hallmark of the times.

Posted by: Just Joe at May 25, 2008 9:29 PM

"Iguanaperson..."

aaaand you lost me, the defensive and disrespectful start tells me you've got nothing of value to add.

Posted by: Old Iguana at May 25, 2008 10:32 PM

'Disrespectful' says the person who has already given up on my generation. I hope you'll pardon me if I proceed to laugh.

Posted by: Just Joe at May 26, 2008 1:02 AM

No worries, Just Joe, I'm sure Old Iguana won't be able to hear you laugh without his hearing aid in....

Posted by: MO at May 26, 2008 7:08 AM

Whatever one may think of Ms. Gould, I think we could all appreciate that her television appearances (on Larry King and Red Eye) were a perfect example of the 'two-face' phenomenon explored in Seinfeld's 'The Strike' episode.

Posted by: ali at May 26, 2008 12:45 PM

Nicole, I am not surprised by your unfortunate outburst. I do not think I am the first man you have run out of your life.

I'm nearly curious as to why you are unsurprised, but the fact that you're an internet troll supercedes that. I don't really care what you think. And for the record, Pookster, I only run the stupid, pathetic, narcissistic men out of my life (should the sneaky bastards slip by me and get in). You, sir, are all of the above. You only come here to stir up shit and create drama. I'm not rising to your bait, or sinking to your level; I'm merely telling you that your pointless vapidity is not appreciated, and that I hope that you meet with some unfortunate phalanges-related accident that will leave you unable to type for some time, if only to spare us all from the boredom and pontification.

Posted by: Nicole at May 26, 2008 2:05 PM

Ouch...that time of the month eh?


Guys know what I'm talkin' about, right?

*high five*

Posted by: Old Iguana at May 26, 2008 2:39 PM

Guys know what I'm talkin' about, right?

Because we menstruate? Only mentally.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 26, 2008 3:06 PM

Nicole, the only unfortunate phalanges-related accident that causes me great concern is not losing the ability to type, but rather losing the ability to jerk off that concerns me.

Posted by: Pookie at May 26, 2008 3:29 PM

the only unfortunate phalanges-related accident that causes me great concern is not losing the ability to type, but rather losing the ability to jerk off that concerns me.

Not seeing the difference -- both activities result in splattered, useless goo on a blank surface so that you can feel better about yourself while others are creeped out and uncomfortable.

Posted by: exoskeleton at May 26, 2008 4:39 PM

Oh I see, some guy shagged you then he went straight to sleep without cuddling and talking with you, thereby robbing you of the opportunity of boring him to tears. Because if you're a man and you said that "goo" was useless, I'd say you are creepy.

Posted by: Pookie at May 26, 2008 4:59 PM

Seriously, with the period jokes? I didn't realize this was 7th grade. *sigh*

Because I'm drinking, I'm going to play Alex's game - Pookie, you're a fucking misogynist.

Posted by: Nicole at May 26, 2008 6:24 PM

Misogynist

mi-sog-y-nist

noun

hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women.

Pookie can't be no misogynist, besides, he loves all the ladies, and all the ladie love him.

Posted by: Pookie at May 26, 2008 6:45 PM

Because if you're a man and you said that "goo" was useless, I'd say you are creepy.

Just yours. Mine cures cancer.

Posted by: exoskeleton at May 26, 2008 8:50 PM

Ooof, and obviously, you suffer from a very, heavy flow.

Posted by: Old Iguana at May 26, 2008 9:23 PM

Oh, Jesus Christ on stilts! Shut the fuck up, Pookie (what the fuck kind of name is that anyway? Are you the Chris Rock crackhead from New Jack City??) and you too, Iguana. You two are a disgrace. "A very, heavy flow?" You cocksucker. Ha ha ha, menstruation is so funny! Oooh, tampons and pads! Losers.

Pookie, the only "ladies" that love you are Rosie Palm and her four sisters. Hence your devastation at the thought of losing the ability to jerk off. I'm surprised that your constant online porn subscriptions haven't crashed your PC (though I wish to GOD they would).

In short, you're a motherfucking scumbag and every time I come here to the 'jiba, which is MY HAPPY PLACE, the sight of your name attached to a comment makes me stabby and ill. No, not because I'm a woman. Not because I'm "sexually frustrated" or a lesbian or on the rag or a third wave feminist. It's because you are a festering, pus-filled boil on the taint of humanity and frankly, I CAN'T FUCKING STAND YOU. You're an internet loser, and you bring absolutely nothing to the table here on a witty, scathing, crazy-loving site. With every post you bring the thread's collective IQ level down at least 72 points. I wish to Godtopus that Dustin et al would just banish your sickening presence.

Posted by: Nicole at May 27, 2008 1:05 AM

Reading a piece written by Emily Gould in the New York Times is like a dear friend slapping you across the face with his flat hand.

Sure the "gray lady" isn't infallible or anything, but damn. I'm kinda worried that they would include something by Gould when their ethics code reads "We treat news sources fairly and professionally. We do not inquire pointlessly into someone's personal life." or "As journalists we treat our readers, viewers, listeners and online users as fairly and openly as possible. Whatever the medium, we tell our audiences the complete, unvarnished truth as best we can learn it. We correct our errors explicitly as soon as we become aware of them."
I hope there will be no further contributions from her. That would be a serious step down in terms of both quality and ethics.

Posted by: mrfinch at May 27, 2008 7:31 AM

"Reading a piece written by Emily Gould in the New York Times is like a dear friend slapping you across the face with his flat hand."

Brilliant. The Times does get on my nerves, though, especially the tedious real estate section (which, of course, I read religiously).

Posted by: samantha t at May 27, 2008 11:24 AM

I was bristling with indignation at the suggestion that that skit was Dutch, but then N.Wood corrected you. Dutch indeed. First of all, Dutch sounds like a truck is trying to be forced down your throat. Second, Norwegian is such a famous and widely spoken language that I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that you can't recognise it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to my dinner of lutefisk and boiled potatoes chased down with some akevitt.

Posted by: Joker at May 27, 2008 2:20 PM

heh heh heh heh Beavis...you said "Douchebag"

...oh wait THAT was a Generation X thing...like punk rock, microbrew beer, and the internets.

C'mon you flip-flop wearing fuckheads PLEASE PRODUCE ANYTHING!!! We have passed the torch long ago and the only thing I see is you using it illuminating the stage for American Idol contestants.

Posted by: Tim at August 29, 2008 12:24 AM