Pajiba

Regarding the Newsweek article about Perez Hilton...I couldn't get past the first line of the first paragraph, because my eyes immediately wandered over to his douchey photo. My god, the humanity. His. Feet. His FEET!! Does he rendevous as sasquatch when he's not posting on his anti-comedy of a gossip site? Ew. Eww!

Oh. My. God.
Hypergore.

The sheer level of blood in that trailer.

What must the film be like?
I don't think I'll be watching it.

Good Lord.

Did he PUNCH that guy's head off? I think he chopped it with something, but it looked like he PUNCHED it off.

I wonder, though...Who drew first blood?!?

(um...sorry)

About the Rambo clip:

There is a time in life when everything becomes so idiotic, asinine, and just completely ridiculous that all I can do is laugh. And that is exactly what I did when I saw this trailer, especially when heads started to just come off. Oh, and I also like the inclusion of religion into this movie. I mean it wouldn't be a proper bloodfest without some nitwit referencing a prayer or some passage from the Bible.

About Newsweek:

I haven't bought this magazine for such a long time, and this article just reaffirms why I don't. And that person, his ilk, and everything that they represent just irk me ad nauseum.

New Wheels on the Block, the best boy band ever. Funny as hell, indeed. Somebody saying that it is depressing is however even funnier, since South Park made an episode about that (Timmy 2000):

Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld!

That college humor video...there are no words. It is disgusting that it's posted on a joke site. This is coming from someone who loves to watch Charm School for entertainment. That's just wrong.

As for Perez: he's so busy making personal appearances for nickels, he acts like Raul Esparaza, his "friend", just magically appeared on Broadway for the first time in Company and is a lock for the Tony Award win. You know, what people say every time he has a part on Broadway? That he'll win for sure? Perez also said the Drama Desk Awards are the Golden Globes of the Tony's Academy Awards, which couldn't be more wrong if he tried. And he called Lily Allen fat (in jest, allegedly) after she wrote a blog entry stating that she spent hours researching weight loss surgery because the American media constantly calls her fat. Way to be a good friend, Perez.

Which means, of course, that I will never even browse a Newsweek again at the doctor's office, let alone purchase one.

Seeing Julie Benz in that trailer was sadder than watching her stake herself in an alley.

Geetch - It's either Norwegian or Swedish or Danish (they blur together in my Anglo head).

Funny enough I just saw "First Blood" last week (hadn't seen it since I was a kid). Laughed my ass off at the whippersnapper David Caruso!

Thanks, Ranylt; I usually assume that crazy-sounding languages are Eastern European, ever since I heard "Dragostea Din Tei" and decided that nothing gets better than that.

After reading that Perez Hilton article, I was curious about the folk singer it mentioned, Jenny Owens Young, so I checked out her MySpace page. It has a pretty funny version of "Hot In Herre"...maybe not as good as Ben Folds' "Bitches Ain't Shit" but along the same lines as Alanis Morisette singing "My Humps". And I hate to admit Perez Hilton is right about anything, but she's not too bad.

I don't care how articulate Sly Stallone is in interviews - I have to question his intelligence. I don't know what that trailer was. That's just.....wow.

First of all, he looks bad. Really bad. The kind of bad that makeup makes worse, not better. I realize that not everyone ages well, but something is really off on the face.

Why? Why, for the love of pete, was another sequel made? Is it money? Hasn't Sly made millions as it is? Does he no longer feel relevant and wants to get back in the game? I really hope Arnold has the good sense to remain retired from action movies. Do you hear me, Arnold? No come back!

WOW.

Rambo totally punched that guy's head off.
I'm sure he had a weapon of some sort but I'm going top pretend he didn't because it is just so much more awesome that way, like approaching Samuel L. Jackson and the shark awesome.

Oh and Perez Hilton is the one responsible for Mika? Figures. I seriously thought Mika was The Wiggles or some other preschool-targeted group when I first heard him. My stupid neighbor blasts the same 2 songs over and over again; it's driving me bananas.

Banana's enough to punch someone's head off.

Ok, call me an asshole, call me a misanthrope....but that video of the guys in the wheelchairs had me laughing my ass off....."Ohhhhh oh, living in a wheelchair"......Priceless.

I agree with Julie. When I saw that picture of Perez, I thought, "What the Fuck? Did someone go after that dude's feet with a hammer?" I'm really glad I was eating while reading the Love today, guys. Yuck.

What ever happened to the good old days, when you snuck up behind someone and snapped their neck like a twig instead of ripping their throat out with your bare hands? I blame Hostel and Saw for upping the ante.

And second, in which scene does Stallone take off his shirt and scare the badguys to death with his sagging man-tits? I bet their heads would explode from the sight.

"Attacking Soon" - yeah, no kidding.

Everyone talking about the head coming off, but what about the guy blowing up after being shot with an arrow? I admit, I have never seen a "Rambo" movie all the way through, but wasn't that done already? Or is it the swamp that is explosive? I am confused.

But it is all moot, since seeing that Joker is actually looking scary as hell and my man-crush Aaron Eckhart looking good as Dent, nothing can bring me down. Not even Perez and his feet.

I really don't care how bloody it is... that trailer just looks flat-out bad.

And this is coming from someone who genuinely thinks that First Blood is a really good movie.

Manny - good to see your descent into madness is picking up speed.

i really, really like the joker look. now what would be even better is if they go for an R rating....hey...a guy can dream, cant he?

That's a seriously f**ked up trailer, with Ken Howard spouting spiritual platitudes about love and forgiveness -- immediately followed by Stallone punching a guy's head off, mowing down a few more with a machine gun, ripping a rapist's skin off, and using a big ass knife to gut someone else.

That's a Falwell level of cognitive dissonance right there.

i am so there. all you haters...get a life. this is the resurrection of the '80's action movie. fuck political correctness!!!

long live "commando"!!!!

Holy crap, Stallone went and pulled a Patrick Swayze and ripped that dude's adam's apple right out his throat!

This looks like such an 80's movie. I realize, of course, that the original Rambo was from that era of filmmaking, but you would think the body count would be lower in a modern film. Even Schwarzenegger said that where you used to kill 12 guys in a scene, killing only six now gets the same point across. The Governator has a point, I think, because that many bodies just looks cheesy.

Oh, and the Perez Hilton article? Just makes me want to vomit. And point and laugh.

A Marine's Wife:

You completely read my mind! My first thought while watching that trailer (well, after the initial "WHAT THE FUCK??") was that Rambo is now stealing his moves from Patrick freazing Swayze! The whole throat ripping thing? Classic Swayze!

Although, to be honest, Road House is way more of a guilty pleasure for me than First Blood

About Pamela Anderson in Cannes - many movies are screened there during the Festival, even if they don't have a slot in the official competition or collateral sections. They are part of the Marché du film, which is a previously huge / still pretty impressive now buying and selling place for theatrical and TV rights.

Makes sense they flew her there in order to attract more attention on the film (which is probably a tiny straight to video affair); Troma was notorious for its promotional Marché tactics, i.e. arranging a cheery monsters-and-starlets parade on the Promenade...

How nice to hear the Prayer of St. Francis right before seeing an ageing Sly Stallone cut someone's head off and liquify another guy with a giant machine gun. Is this what passes for peacemaking in Tim LaHaye's America?

God help us!

There is a distinct metallic "shing" sound when he whacks the guys head off which implies a blade of some kind. The "artillery piece" is a 50 caliber heavy machine gun and he simply was firing it at the front seat of the jeep, with fairly realistic results. The violence actually looked fairly realistic for this kind of movie.

I can understand being snarky, but at least pay attention to what you're mocking.
>>>

Canology, that you take some sort of pleasure in the "realism" of that clip is far more disturbing than that motherfracking, violent-ass trailer was.

God bless 'merica indeed!

Rambo's wasting his time. Those poor Burmese soldiers need to learn just how lousy a lay hippie girls are.

Isn't that kind of bloody for a trailer.

Three cheers though for Darla and the Coach from White Shadow

Once again John Rambo will visit exotic locations, meet new people and kill them in most brutal ways.
I mean, i thought Rambo III was pretty much dumb. The way they painted the Afghanistan conflict in bright white and evil black (and downright twisted reality) disgusted me more than the violence.
And now they are again to represent that twisted world view. This time he will rescue and protect a christian missionary group. What?!
After i heard "Lord, let me be your instrument of peace" and then seeing Stallone murdering people i actually laughed out loud. Well, at least he's killing evil people. You know their evil, because they are screaming a lot. In strange languages. And even try to rape a woman. You know, i'm kind of surprised to see him making that movie as it kind of represents the primitive world view and overall strategy of the USA regarding worlds conflicts and hot spots. Sorry for politicizing what is, essential a dumb 80's action flick, but --really-- i wonder why it's not set in Iraq or Iran.