A first official photo of the Joker has been released, and I think it’s even real. Also, kind of creepy. (Popoholic)
On a related note: Harvey Dent for District Attorney. (QuizLaw)
Ms. Salted suggests that Avril Lavigne might enjoy a frothy six pack of whoopass. (Yeeeah!)
Why is a Pamela Anderson flick even showing at Cannes? (IDLYITW)
“Smart Mouth” brand mouthwash actually has a deteriorating effect on one’s ability to deliver a snappy Yo Mama zinger. Bummer. (Impulsive Buy)
In loving tribute of True Romance’s Floyd: “Don’t condescend me, man. I’ll fuckin’ kill ya, man.” (Celebitchy)
Newsweek magazine reaches nadir of existence — this may be the most depressing thing you read all week. Not because of the article itself, but because of what it represents. (Newsweek)
Nope — changed my mind. This is the most depressing thing you’ll see all week. This is supposed to be funny? (College Humor)
Damn — I take it all back. This, folks, is absolutely the most depressing thing you will see this week. Put your head between your knees, take a deep breath, and check the video after the jump.
Regarding the Newsweek article about Perez Hilton...I couldn't get past the first line of the first paragraph, because my eyes immediately wandered over to his douchey photo. My god, the humanity. His. Feet. His FEET!! Does he rendevous as sasquatch when he's not posting on his anti-comedy of a gossip site? Ew. Eww!
Posted by: Julie at May 21, 2007 3:50 PM
Oooh...Sly Stallone gets to "romance" a girl half his age, shoot people with a bow and arrow (guns are so last season), *and* rip a guy's throat out with his bare hands?
Hoo, man! He just keeps going, doesn't he? No wonder he's on "performance enhancing" "vitamins".
I hope that this great new addition to the Rambo enterprise will open the door for another Predator installment. Who doesn't want to see Ahnold suit up and smother himself with mud again?
Posted by: zambonigirl at May 21, 2007 3:57 PM
Oh. My. God.
Hypergore.
The sheer level of blood in that trailer.
What must the film be like?
I don't think I'll be watching it.
Posted by: Caitlin at May 21, 2007 4:02 PM
Julie - I didn't even get as far as the feet saw the headline, the big, goofy head and blue hair and I just ran away
Posted by: Brian at May 21, 2007 4:12 PM
Good Lord.
Did he PUNCH that guy's head off? I think he chopped it with something, but it looked like he PUNCHED it off.
I wonder, though...Who drew first blood?!?
(um...sorry)
Posted by: Cody at May 21, 2007 4:18 PM
While watching that trailer, I
1. Never realized Rambo was so effing moody
2. Honestly thought he punched that soldier's head off until I came to my senses and decided he was holding a knife
3. Marveled at the two foot range on that artilery gun...amajigger. Whatever it was...
4. PUNCHED HIS HEAD OFF
Sly Stalone needs a hobby, like folk dancing perhaps. I would watch that if it was a reality show.
Posted by: BLA at May 21, 2007 4:19 PM
About the Rambo clip:
There is a time in life when everything becomes so idiotic, asinine, and just completely ridiculous that all I can do is laugh. And that is exactly what I did when I saw this trailer, especially when heads started to just come off. Oh, and I also like the inclusion of religion into this movie. I mean it wouldn't be a proper bloodfest without some nitwit referencing a prayer or some passage from the Bible.
About Newsweek:
I haven't bought this magazine for such a long time, and this article just reaffirms why I don't. And that person, his ilk, and everything that they represent just irk me ad nauseum.
Posted by: Gigi Worthington at May 21, 2007 4:20 PM
Oh yeah! The Joker...very cool. And creepy as hell. I'll reserve judgment for when I see the film, but for now...very cool.
Posted by: Cody at May 21, 2007 4:24 PM
New Wheels on the Block, the best boy band ever. Funny as hell, indeed. Somebody saying that it is depressing is however even funnier, since South Park made an episode about that (Timmy 2000):
I think you got it backwards. I would sit through Rambo five times straight before I willingly looked at Perez Hilton again. Ugh! I just threw-up a little.
Posted by: Morgan at May 21, 2007 4:27 PM
That college humor video...there are no words. It is disgusting that it's posted on a joke site. This is coming from someone who loves to watch Charm School for entertainment. That's just wrong.
As for Perez: he's so busy making personal appearances for nickels, he acts like Raul Esparaza, his "friend", just magically appeared on Broadway for the first time in Company and is a lock for the Tony Award win. You know, what people say every time he has a part on Broadway? That he'll win for sure? Perez also said the Drama Desk Awards are the Golden Globes of the Tony's Academy Awards, which couldn't be more wrong if he tried. And he called Lily Allen fat (in jest, allegedly) after she wrote a blog entry stating that she spent hours researching weight loss surgery because the American media constantly calls her fat. Way to be a good friend, Perez.
Which means, of course, that I will never even browse a Newsweek again at the doctor's office, let alone purchase one.
"South Park" does often use Timmy for humorous effect, but I wouldn't say it happens more often than anyone else is lampooned. Timmy is usually treated with a good amount of dignity, and is one of the smarter characters on the show, just hampered by his physical limitations. I found that CollegeHumor video appalling not because I'm particularly sensitive, but because it was straight-up disgusting. Granted, I don't speak Romanian or whatever that was, but the studio audience seemed to treat the group like a circus sideshow, and the fact that it was posted on a humor website was in bad taste. I'm giving that one a "Wag of My Finger".
Posted by: Geetch at May 21, 2007 4:47 PM
Seeing Julie Benz in that trailer was sadder than watching her stake herself in an alley.
Posted by: Shaggy at May 21, 2007 4:50 PM
In the Rambo clip...is that Darla from Buffy/Angel? I am on my way to IMDb to check that out...
Way to go, Julie Benz! Not the most thought-provoking movie, but not too shabby for the girl from George in the Jungle 2!
Posted by: Claire at May 21, 2007 4:55 PM
Geetch - It's either Norwegian or Swedish or Danish (they blur together in my Anglo head).
Funny enough I just saw "First Blood" last week (hadn't seen it since I was a kid). Laughed my ass off at the whippersnapper David Caruso!
Posted by: Ranylt at May 21, 2007 5:07 PM
Without god and sanctioned vengeance for the death of people he sort of met, Rambo couldn't justify punching people's heads off.
During Rocky Balboa I felt Stallone was old... and insane, but that it worked for his character. Here it just stands out more, and I was not expecting so much blood.
Posted by: Eric at May 21, 2007 5:08 PM
Thanks, Ranylt; I usually assume that crazy-sounding languages are Eastern European, ever since I heard "Dragostea Din Tei" and decided that nothing gets better than that.
After reading that Perez Hilton article, I was curious about the folk singer it mentioned, Jenny Owens Young, so I checked out her MySpace page. It has a pretty funny version of "Hot In Herre"...maybe not as good as Ben Folds' "Bitches Ain't Shit" but along the same lines as Alanis Morisette singing "My Humps". And I hate to admit Perez Hilton is right about anything, but she's not too bad.
Posted by: Geetch at May 21, 2007 5:15 PM
The worst part of the Perez Hilton article: "Next year, he'll program his own night at the massive South by Southwest music conference."
Posted by: audrey at May 21, 2007 5:22 PM
I don't care how articulate Sly Stallone is in interviews - I have to question his intelligence. I don't know what that trailer was. That's just.....wow.
First of all, he looks bad. Really bad. The kind of bad that makeup makes worse, not better. I realize that not everyone ages well, but something is really off on the face.
Why? Why, for the love of pete, was another sequel made? Is it money? Hasn't Sly made millions as it is? Does he no longer feel relevant and wants to get back in the game? I really hope Arnold has the good sense to remain retired from action movies. Do you hear me, Arnold? No come back!
Posted by: Daphne at May 21, 2007 5:40 PM
There is a distinct metallic "shing" sound when he whacks the guys head off which implies a blade of some kind. The "artillery piece" is a 50 caliber heavy machine gun and he simply was firing it at the front seat of the jeep, with fairly realistic results. The violence actually looked fairly realistic for this kind of movie.
I can understand being snarky, but at least pay attention to what you're mocking.
Posted by: canology at May 21, 2007 5:43 PM
WOW.
Rambo totally punched that guy's head off.
I'm sure he had a weapon of some sort but I'm going top pretend he didn't because it is just so much more awesome that way, like approaching Samuel L. Jackson and the shark awesome.
Oh and Perez Hilton is the one responsible for Mika? Figures. I seriously thought Mika was The Wiggles or some other preschool-targeted group when I first heard him. My stupid neighbor blasts the same 2 songs over and over again; it's driving me bananas.
Banana's enough to punch someone's head off.
Posted by: missmle at May 21, 2007 5:55 PM
For the love of...what the fu....God damn.....why didn't you preface that link by saying it mentioned that troglodyte Perez "I'll suck yo' dick for a banner" Hilton?! I mean, JUST when the chemical I slipped into his drink to enduce gigantism starts to work on his feet, they go and post an article. Now everyone is gonna mention to him how freakishly large his feet are and he'll get treatment before it spreads to his head and crushes his body under it's weight......MAN!
Oh well, I guess it's back to typing FUCK YOU PEREZ in all caps.
Ok, call me an asshole, call me a misanthrope....but that video of the guys in the wheelchairs had me laughing my ass off....."Ohhhhh oh, living in a wheelchair"......Priceless.
HOLY Jebus, that Rambo clip was just...I don't even have words for how much that freaked with my head. Stallone really needs to give it up. Badly.
As for Perez, the irony of that yeti-footed ogre posting about certain celebrities being 'losers' in too much. I hope one day soon Avril tracks him down and does something angsty to him.
Posted by: Josh at May 21, 2007 7:07 PM
I agree with Julie. When I saw that picture of Perez, I thought, "What the Fuck? Did someone go after that dude's feet with a hammer?" I'm really glad I was eating while reading the Love today, guys. Yuck.
Posted by: Nora Borealis at May 21, 2007 7:07 PM
I don't get why the New Wheels on the Block video is so offensive. I don't think the audience was laughing at them because they're handicapped, I think they're laughing because its fun to watch... I know a guy in a wheelchair who is a tripalegic and he himself makes jokes about his handicaps all the time, just for a laugh, just like this band is doing. Cut the PC bullshit already.
Posted by: Madams at May 21, 2007 7:38 PM
What ever happened to the good old days, when you snuck up behind someone and snapped their neck like a twig instead of ripping their throat out with your bare hands? I blame Hostel and Saw for upping the ante.
And second, in which scene does Stallone take off his shirt and scare the badguys to death with his sagging man-tits? I bet their heads would explode from the sight.
Posted by: Some Guy at May 21, 2007 7:49 PM
I can't wait to see Marion Cobra or Johnny F.I.S.T.
Posted by: ormond at May 21, 2007 7:59 PM
"Attacking Soon" - yeah, no kidding.
Everyone talking about the head coming off, but what about the guy blowing up after being shot with an arrow? I admit, I have never seen a "Rambo" movie all the way through, but wasn't that done already? Or is it the swamp that is explosive? I am confused.
But it is all moot, since seeing that Joker is actually looking scary as hell and my man-crush Aaron Eckhart looking good as Dent, nothing can bring me down. Not even Perez and his feet.
Posted by: Vermillion at May 21, 2007 8:22 PM
So many responses crowding my mind--must enumerate:
1. Geetch: there isn't anything better than DDT...and I don't care who hears me.
2. missmle: Mika is a real performer? Wow.
3. Vermillion: you are my new man-crush for admitting your Eckhart man-crush.
4. I am saddened that Mother Mother is associated in any way shape or form with His Vileness; I heard "Dirty Town" on CBC just a few days ago and it was interesting. Shame.
Posted by: Ranylt at May 21, 2007 8:51 PM
I really don't care how bloody it is... that trailer just looks flat-out bad.
And this is coming from someone who genuinely thinks that First Blood is a really good movie.
Manny - good to see your descent into madness is picking up speed.
Ranylt: Can I get on your man-crush list? I love Aaron Eckhart in an unnatural way not native to a devout heterosexual man. "Thank You for Smoking" was his acting masterpiece, out of a career of good performances, IMHO, if I may fall into internet shorthand. (Oh, damn, I just defeated the purpose of internet shorthand.)
Posted by: socalledonlypajibapajamas at May 21, 2007 9:43 PM
i really, really like the joker look. now what would be even better is if they go for an R rating....hey...a guy can dream, cant he?
Posted by: jordan at May 21, 2007 10:35 PM
lowkey, perez hilton's taste in pop ain't half bad.
Posted by: Brittany at May 22, 2007 12:02 AM
That's a seriously f**ked up trailer, with Ken Howard spouting spiritual platitudes about love and forgiveness -- immediately followed by Stallone punching a guy's head off, mowing down a few more with a machine gun, ripping a rapist's skin off, and using a big ass knife to gut someone else.
That's a Falwell level of cognitive dissonance right there.
Posted by: Louise at May 22, 2007 12:12 AM
Falwell's dead, bwa-hah-hah-hah!
"The sheer level of blood in that trailer."
What, the wheelchair shit? I had to turn it off when he started crooning about his "sexy, skinny, skinny legs".
Jesus Christ, bring back the mind-control suppositories, already.
Posted by: Vi at May 22, 2007 12:33 AM
i am so there. all you haters...get a life. this is the resurrection of the '80's action movie. fuck political correctness!!!
long live "commando"!!!!
Posted by: idiot dentist at May 22, 2007 12:49 AM
You know what? It's not depressing. It's going to be this year's Snakes on a Plane, and I'm going to see it and laugh my fucking ASS off in the theater. He totally DECAPITATED that dude with a KNIFE.
Posted by: The Boston Rag at May 22, 2007 12:49 AM
Holy crap, Stallone went and pulled a Patrick Swayze and ripped that dude's adam's apple right out his throat!
This looks like such an 80's movie. I realize, of course, that the original Rambo was from that era of filmmaking, but you would think the body count would be lower in a modern film. Even Schwarzenegger said that where you used to kill 12 guys in a scene, killing only six now gets the same point across. The Governator has a point, I think, because that many bodies just looks cheesy.
Oh, and the Perez Hilton article? Just makes me want to vomit. And point and laugh.
Posted by: A Marine's Wife at May 22, 2007 1:02 AM
wait.
paris hilton is different from perez hilton? i thought it was some new stupid name she gave herself.hmm shows how little i care.
Posted by: MAx at May 22, 2007 2:50 AM
A Marine's Wife:
You completely read my mind! My first thought while watching that trailer (well, after the initial "WHAT THE FUCK??") was that Rambo is now stealing his moves from Patrick freazing Swayze! The whole throat ripping thing? Classic Swayze!
Although, to be honest, Road House is way more of a guilty pleasure for me than First Blood
Posted by: kdm at May 22, 2007 2:58 AM
Aaaah I cannot state how very, very glad I am to not have a man in my life to drag me to the new Rambo movie. In fact the trailer was so horrifying (and as I usually seem to attract complete and utter Neanderthals) I am considering remaining single until it leaves the cinema entirely.
I could always just develop better taste in men I guess...
I was all psyched about the Joker but I just now realized that his face reminds me of a Carver victim from Nip/Tuck and that was a downer.
Posted by: The Stew at May 22, 2007 7:32 AM
How nice to hear the Prayer of St. Francis right before seeing an ageing Sly Stallone cut someone's head off and liquify another guy with a giant machine gun. Is this what passes for peacemaking in Tim LaHaye's America?
God help us!
Posted by: Armando at May 22, 2007 9:20 AM
I hope that this great new addition to the Rambo enterprise will open the door for another Predator installment. Who doesn't want to see Ahnold suit up and smother himself with mud again?>>>
Didn't he do that at his last State of the State address?
Posted by: Armando at May 22, 2007 9:22 AM
There is a distinct metallic "shing" sound when he whacks the guys head off which implies a blade of some kind. The "artillery piece" is a 50 caliber heavy machine gun and he simply was firing it at the front seat of the jeep, with fairly realistic results. The violence actually looked fairly realistic for this kind of movie.
I can understand being snarky, but at least pay attention to what you're mocking.
>>>
Canology, that you take some sort of pleasure in the "realism" of that clip is far more disturbing than that motherfracking, violent-ass trailer was.
God bless 'merica indeed!
Posted by: Armando at May 22, 2007 9:29 AM
I saw the wheeling new kids a couple of days ago, and the mere fact that they changed the words in those songs to fit their life situation is beyond cool. I applaud them, and I have to say that I laughed SO hard when I saw that video, and sent it to my closest friends. Don't judge me!
Posted by: nexus 6 at May 22, 2007 10:50 AM
Rambo's wasting his time. Those poor Burmese soldiers need to learn just how lousy a lay hippie girls are.
Posted by: Clay Sills at May 22, 2007 11:09 AM
I like hearing the Prayer of St. Francis followed up with throat-rippings and decapitations. They should do that in church more often.
The Joker image will haunt my dreams tonight. Reminds me way too much of John Wayne Gacy.
Posted by: em at May 22, 2007 11:25 AM
Isn't that kind of bloody for a trailer.
Three cheers though for Darla and the Coach from White Shadow
Posted by: Brian at May 22, 2007 12:25 PM
Jeez, that trailer looks like the one in BOOGIE NIGHTS when Dirk Diggler does his action series. And the lettering at the end looks straight out of an Andy Sedaris film.
That was so depressing to see that stupid bruin Perez Hilton getting more coverage. When will his reign of terror end?
What's offensive about the wheelchair group is the implication in their lyrics that being a vegetable is better than being gay. Fuck them. I hope their batteries die.
Posted by: Andrew at May 22, 2007 2:02 PM
Once again John Rambo will visit exotic locations, meet new people and kill them in most brutal ways.
I mean, i thought Rambo III was pretty much dumb. The way they painted the Afghanistan conflict in bright white and evil black (and downright twisted reality) disgusted me more than the violence.
And now they are again to represent that twisted world view. This time he will rescue and protect a christian missionary group. What?!
After i heard "Lord, let me be your instrument of peace" and then seeing Stallone murdering people i actually laughed out loud. Well, at least he's killing evil people. You know their evil, because they are screaming a lot. In strange languages. And even try to rape a woman. You know, i'm kind of surprised to see him making that movie as it kind of represents the primitive world view and overall strategy of the USA regarding worlds conflicts and hot spots. Sorry for politicizing what is, essential a dumb 80's action flick, but --really-- i wonder why it's not set in Iraq or Iran.
Posted by: Arthur Dent at May 22, 2007 3:30 PM
Video ads popping up after each page view? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
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Regarding the Newsweek article about Perez Hilton...I couldn't get past the first line of the first paragraph, because my eyes immediately wandered over to his douchey photo. My god, the humanity. His. Feet. His FEET!! Does he rendevous as sasquatch when he's not posting on his anti-comedy of a gossip site? Ew. Eww!