free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 05/20/08 | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Are you there Godtopus? It’s me, H.P. Lovecraft. (Cracked)

Katie Holmes is getting the hell out of dodge Xenu. (WIMB)

Because why would Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel wanna be the only ones in Hollywood not getting knocked up and having a quickie shotgun marriage? (IDLYITW)

Now you can be a photog trying to capture naughty photos of underage Miley Cyrus! Via Evil Beet! (AddictingGames)

Who is dumber: the guy who offers up his social on the internet in an attempt to dare identity thieves to steal his identity? (QuizLaw) Or the guy who tried to return a used computer loaded with kiddie pron? (QuizLaw)

Kimberly Stewart scores herself some Jude Law! Upgrade! In related news, Jude Law just burned through the last of his human dignity. (Yeeeah!)

Speaking of burning through the last of your human dignity… I can’t even think of a link caption for this without feeling vicarious shame. (The Impulsive Buy)

McConaughey! McConaugwhat! McConaugwho? Take off your shirt! (Agent Bedhead)

If I ever wind up killing a man, I blame it on the time I was forced to sit through Patch Adams. In the movie theater. (mental floss)

It’s so watery… And yet, there’s a smack of wiener to it! (Serious Eats)

WHAT? If Uwe Boll expects us to believe one of his favorite movies is Citizen Kane, then he is a dirty, dirty liar on top of everything else. (YBNBY)

Is it wrong to think someone being burglarized and sexually assaulted is funny just because maybe they kind of karmically deserve it? (Jezebel)

Those creepy NBA playoff ads, as done by Hillary and Obama, after the jump.

Pajiba Love | May 20, 2008 | Comments (19)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Was that Picasso or Prince in that portrait?

The weiner soup made me vurp.

Posted by: wsapnin at May 20, 2008 3:40 PM

Okay, "recalibrating my robot ninja werewolves to attack wiggers with frosted hair" made me snort a little snubble. And I concur.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 20, 2008 3:57 PM

See, I was right about Katie Holmes and her drama. The sooner she can get away from that hump, the better off she will be. Do not think for one second that she really want to do Broadway, trust me, this is a cry for help. Any broad in her right mind would die to be with Cruise, but Katie knows how fucked up he is.

Posted by: Pookie at May 20, 2008 4:06 PM

So...the NKOTB song is quite catchy. Not that I listened to it or anything. You won't see me at one of the reunion tour concerts. No siree.

*walks away whistling Step by Step*

Posted by: tt_marie at May 20, 2008 4:33 PM

oh NKOTB....

I remember the swim team sleep overs where we would pop in the NKOTB VHS and dance along with the choreograpghy to all the music videos

we were high school seniors


and the year was 2001


oh yeah, thats right.....

and our 80's Spirit Days before a big meet were a force to be reckoned with

Posted by: Bethy at May 20, 2008 4:38 PM

My sister JUST emailed me an hour ago to see if I wanted to come with her to the NKOTB concert.

NO. No no no. No. Despite my love for Step by Step (WORD, tt_marie).

Step one! We can have lots of fun.
Step two! There's so much we can do!
Step three! It's just you and ME!
Step four! (cue Danny's stupid bass) I can give you more...
Step five! Don't you know that the time has arrived?!

HUH!!

Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 4:48 PM

Julie, I would be happy to accompany your sister to the KNOTB concert. A fun time will be had by all. I think we should come up with a safe word first.

Posted by: Pookie at May 20, 2008 5:15 PM

The Searchers? Apocalypse Now? A Clockwork Orange?!?!

... I just had a rage blackout.

Posted by: Lannie at May 20, 2008 5:17 PM

Seriously, what is the going bribery price for a Pajiba Love slot? I have been trying to figure out the magic formula (the one that doesn't involve ripping on celebrities) for months now. Although I may have answered my own question.

Wow, that list of Boll's favorite films were either conjured up to soften his bad public image (less than likely) or to somehow justify his 'genius' (more likely). All it really does is prove that just because you may like good movies, doesn't mean you know how to MAKE one.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 20, 2008 5:30 PM

"I call it hot ham water."

Posted by: serena at May 20, 2008 6:06 PM

with what? WHAT?
Man, are you leaving us hanging or are you being stupid. If it's the latter, when you're hijacking this site, please don't end your sentences in a preposition. It gives me the willies from.

Posted by: wsapnin at May 20, 2008 10:08 PM

Uh oh... Spambot has angered wsapnin... no good can come of this.

Posted by: TK at May 20, 2008 10:11 PM

"Is it wrong to think someone being burglarized and sexually assaulted is funny just because maybe they kind of karmically deserve it?"

No, no it's not, not when it's that guy, especially since he continued on his pervrose path without learning a damned thing about empathy or even plain ol' decency. In that case, the ironing is delicious.

Posted by: Geetch at May 21, 2008 1:52 AM

ironing? seriously? are you people fucking with me? am I on candid camera?

Posted by: wsapnin at May 21, 2008 7:49 AM

Ahem, Jules, I hate to nitpick, but, ah, it was, uhm, Joey who sang, "I can give you more" on Step by Step. Danny had the first line.

[dies of complete and utter shame]

Posted by: Kolby at May 21, 2008 10:02 AM

"The ironing is delicious"= Simpsons quote. There, there. But yesterday I did see someone call the Sistine Chapel the "16th Chapel". Father God Sonny Jesus!

Posted by: Lannie at May 21, 2008 10:04 AM

WTF?! My last comment didn't get posted. WAH!

As I was saying:

Julie - it was Joey-Joe who sang, "I can give you more!" on Step by Step. Danny had the first line of that part.

And then I crawled away to die a sad, shameful death by stab wounds inflicted by a giant NKOTB pin.

Posted by: Kolby at May 21, 2008 10:06 AM

Oh look, it did get posted. Are you trying to kill me today, Pajiba??!!

Posted by: Kolby at May 21, 2008 10:36 AM

Thanks for the 'splanation, Lannie. My head almost imploded.

Posted by: wsapnin at May 21, 2008 11:25 AM