free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 05/18/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Billy Zane rocks the Cannes film fest with an extremely warmly welcomed film (*ahem*). (IDLYITW)

There’s another new Transformers trailer out. You know — do your thing. (Popoholic)

The NRA gets them while they’re young. (QuizLaw)

JMW — you’re hurting my brain, man. (A Special Way of Being Afraid)

And you thought the Shrek Happy Meals were bad. (CityRag)

If you don’t know who the greatest black man alive is, well, maybe you should look in a closet. (Agent Bedhead)

Hmmm. (BWE)

I’d never given Ann Coulter full credit for how absolutely awful a person she is. I mean — Damn. (Wonkette)

After the jump, Ed Helms Zombie-American tries his hand at dating. And if a “Daily Show” alum doesn’t do it for you, current correspondent Samantha Bee offers up one of the show’s best segments, “News I’d Like to Fuck.”.

Pajiba Love | May 18, 2007 | Comments (17)


American Zombie:

Zombie American - Chapter 2

Samantha Bee


Shrek the Third | Pajiba Love 05/21/07



Comments

Now we know where the Coulter ads came from. And DAMN VH1, straight plagiarism.

Posted by: redbeaniegirl at May 18, 2007 4:59 PM

You know, it's shit like this that makes me assume that Ann Coulter is just one big joke on conservatives. Give up Colbert, and you too Al Franken, because there is absolutely NO way in hell that this woman could possibly be for real.

Posted by: Mr. Awesome at May 18, 2007 5:13 PM

Where's R Kelly's Oscar(c) nomination? I saw Trapped in the Closet and it was pants down the best opera I've ever seen. His range (emotional and vocal) is unmatched by anyone--alive or dead.

Posted by: anikitty at May 18, 2007 5:46 PM

I used to want to punch Ann Coulter in the face. Multiple times. I'm in a zen-like place about her now, perhaps because it's clear that either she's batshit or a fantastic actress.

I'd like to think of myself as a "thinking" girl. But you know what - most of those on the so-called thinking woman's sexist boy/man list do nothing for me. Look, as I stated before, there are men who I'd love to hang out with and perhaps make out with. Doesn't make them sexy. Example: I like Jon Stewart, he makes me laugh, he's obviously intelligent, and even attractive - but sexy, he's not. Of course, I know that I'm squarely in the minority on that. I don't know why those types of lists bother me so much - perhaps because I don't see many "thinking" man's lists with a bunch of perceived dorky women who aren't also visually pleasing. Maybe I'm not a true "thinking" woman after all because, dammit - I prefer man candy, and Masi Oka, Will Arnett, or John Krasinski aren't anywhere near the list. This is no slight to those men who aren't conventionally handsome, but it's not about
who to marry - it's all about the fuckability, baby.

Also, to be fair - I didn't agree with many of the hottest hunks list, either. Since when did Orlando Bloom and Josh Hartnett become hunks? Don't you have to be actively working, at least, to be in the running?

Posted by: Daphne at May 18, 2007 7:32 PM

I think its hilarious that there is an ad for Couler's written columns under the comments. Oh google ads, you mess with my mind.

Posted by: the_Wakeful at May 18, 2007 8:13 PM

Daphne, as someone who's freebie five list mostly consisted of man-meat with whom I would enjoy a night of debauchery in a hotel, but not a conversation over coffee, I feel you. The nerd-girl list looks more like boyfriend material, the kinda guys that start to look better once you know them, not sexy, mouth watering on first sight material.

Of course, I could just be a horribly shallow person. But seriously? Isn't that the point of a "hottest" list? And Orlando Bloom will never be hot to me, the only thing I thought of him during PotC:2 was that if you turned him and Keira Knightly around, you couldn't tell them apart. Way too delicate.

Posted by: Genny at May 18, 2007 8:14 PM

Well, apparently the Vomitous Face of Ann Coulter has been banished by posting the word "fuckability."

'Cause it's an Indian Matrimonal service ad now.

Hee!

Posted by: Jerce at May 18, 2007 8:16 PM

Wow. Between the R. Kelly and Anne Coulter links, I have never been so damn angry as a black person in all my life. Kelly, has lost whatever was left of his mind, and Coulter.... oh, man, I can't even get into it. Argh.

Zombie-American.....feeling a bit better....

Samantha Bee talking about "informing" the sh!t out of herself to hot reporters.....feeling a lot better.....

Reading that Daphne likes "man candy"......back angry again....

Realizing that Fred Phelps probably thinks Coulter is going to hell for looking too much like a man.....feeling better again....

Posted by: Vermillion at May 18, 2007 8:35 PM

Of course, I could just be a horribly shallow person. But seriously? Isn't that the point of a "hottest" list?

Exactly, Genny. Thanks for validating my shallowness. Let us revel in the vaingloriousness of man meat together!

Vermillion - if you can enjoy Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, I can have my man candy. Besides, if Pajiba ever has an Afternoon Comment Diversion of Top 5 Pajibans, you're totally #1.

Posted by: Daphne at May 18, 2007 9:56 PM

Remember--the Wonkette article is a parodic substitution of "black" for whom she really says those things about in her column -- gay people. Reading the source article is also worth it for her monomaniacal Tinky Winky coverage.

Hate her shitty, virulent polemics for the right reason, is all I'm sayin'. Wonkette was just pointing out how she would never get away with saying the shit she does about gay people if she said it about blacks. Doesn't the same shit dressed in pink deserve the same outrage?

Posted by: be right back at May 18, 2007 11:57 PM

There. Now I have calmed down some. It is fine, Daphne. They are just cheap, tawdry, meaningless, wild animal sex to you. Everyone should have that.

It like they say: Male geeks are built for function over form. I may not have rock-hard abs, but my credit is good and I can hold a decent conversation. Female geeks, on the other hand, are built for worship by anyone with real taste. I honestly cannot think of a geeky woman who wasn't also sexy as hell.

I forgot to mention in my previous comment about Billy Zane's film. They laughed in the little girl's face? How bad was this movie that they had to do that? I mean crap on Billy all you want. He is a big boy, he can take it. But the little girl was just doing what she was supposed to do. Damn.

And WTF was with giving that baby a gun permit? And a freakin' shotgun?

Posted by: Vermillion at May 18, 2007 11:59 PM

Hee, "revel in the vaingloriousness of man meat together". I mean, I DID have plans this weekend, but I can move some things around ; )

And your point about how "thinking men" are allowed to scam on hot chicks without feeling guilty is what gets me. Smart guys are never accused of being overly shallow when they date dim girls who are really hot. "Oh, well men are more visually stimulated, whereas women are more intellectual with their attraction", bullshit. I only have a year left in college, I aspire to date dim, hot guys in that time. If I get my study abroad, I will date dim, hot guys with accents. Societal expectations be damned.

Posted by: Genny at May 19, 2007 12:05 AM

regarding the list at BWE:
masi oka at #3? i'd like to hug him, yes, but would i sleep with him? why not? i'm sure we could watch a movie before, have some ice cream. but no sex, no no. he's like a puppy, you wouldn't have sex with a puppy, right?
those lists make the thinking women look like frigids that only because they are smart, they can't have good taste in men, and that pisses those smart women off.
of course the concept of "good taste" is quite personal: i think orlando bloom and john krasinski are very attractive, but that's just me... maybe i'm not THAT thinking, and just a standard-sans-action woman.

(cooome ooon, best week ever, masi oka? really?)

Posted by: sol at May 19, 2007 12:09 AM

WHOOOOO!

Any ridiculously obsessed fans of Transformers (like me) who haven't yet, watch that trailer and wait for Optimus Prime to transform. Listen carefully.

Suddenly I have decided: only if every site I go to for review pans it will I skip it opening day.

Posted by: Shadowen at May 19, 2007 2:06 AM

I think the point of a "Sexiest Nerds" list is to showcase the people who are so stocked up on the intellectual abilities and passion nerds usually display that they end up having enourmous sex appeal, even if look-wise they might not be what you call "hunks". There's a lot of cute nerds out there, but they wouldn't end up ranking higher than Brad Pitt on any kind of "Sexiest" list if you didn't consider the "mental stimulation" part of their sexiness when you had to judge it.

That's why that list fails: there's a lot of people on it that are not nerds. They're kind of unusual, soft-spoken, or have indie-cred, but they are not nerds, or even geeky. Many of them might turn me on, but they don't stimulate the part of my mind that links "can list Aragorn's whole lineage" with "sex, now".

And most of them are not hunks either, so it's all very "meh".

Posted by: MJ at May 19, 2007 7:20 AM

Hey, this isn't really related to anything that's posted, but have you guys seen this yet? It's kind of awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FExqG6LdWHU

Posted by: Cheryl at May 19, 2007 10:50 AM

Sigh. Billy Zane used to actually be sexy. What a waste.

Posted by: agent bedhead at May 19, 2007 2:15 PM