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Pajiba Love

A belated happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies out in Pajiba-land! And because it’s so cute I can’t even stand it, here are some stories of canine-interspecies adoptions. (mental floss)

This is possibly prematurely ejaculating round-up material, but since it also falls squarely in the gossip realm — which happens to be my territory — guess who won’t be appearing on film screens any time soon? (WIMB)

Our own Brian Prisco got to go to the Kids in the Hall show this weekend with backstage hookups to have drinks and shoot the shit with all the kids and OH MY GOD how much do I fucking hate him right now? (GospelAccordingToPrisco)

Additionally, Pajiba colleague Nathaniel scored an interview with Famke Janssen. Check it! (Film Experience)

Who’s your dream running-mate for Obama? Take the vote! (QuizLaw)

Check out the latest episode of Titlepage, featuring Simon Winchester, Aleksandar Hemon, Rabih Alameddine, and Nam Le. (Titlepage)

Madonna continues embarrassing herself by trying to be cutting edge, now with more F-word! (Yeeeah!)

“Weeds” is getting a complete overhaul, for better or for worse. I kind of wish they would have just ended after S3. What do you guys think? (NY Post)

You know what the problem with regular, everyday soda is that there’s not enough of a risk of diabetic shock involved. (The Impulsive Buy)

Brad Pitt has a tattoo of the New Orleans levee system on his back. Seriously. I don’t think there’s any possible way for me to roll my eyes any more right now. (Celebitchy)

Serious problem workarounds for potential superhero movies. (MightyGodKing)

How awesome is this: Muppets vs. their celebrity counterparts. My only qualm is that everybody knows that Janice is New York’s Muppet-twin. (cityrag)

This is dedicated to anyone who has ever corrected my grammar. Suck it! (SWPL)

Babwa Walters has a sex tape? See it with your own eyes, after the jump.

Pajiba Love | May 12, 2008 | Comments (35)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Brad Pitt is NOT Tyler Durden.

But on the plus side, he would be a great addition to hotchickswithdouchebags.com!!!

Posted by: boo at May 12, 2008 3:55 PM

noooooooooooo. Weeds, come ON! Conrad and Heylia gone? No more Suburb Mom as a drug dealer? WTF? What's the point then? I don't want to see her GROW damn it (unless it's pot, then yeah, grow away!) I don't want to see her CHANGE all that much. I want to see wacky suburb shit and pretend like my kids' friends' mom's are crazy ass drug dealers and shit. Gah.

Posted by: lilianna28 at May 12, 2008 3:58 PM

Why take away Conrad and Heylia? They rocked!! Yeah, this season is just gonna suck and they should have let it go. Oh well, another show I loved gone downhill.
If Brad Pitt has a tattoo of the NOLA streets or levee system . . . well, okay then. I have a Katrina tattoo, I won't judge too harshly. If Brad Pitt wants to have a vague tattoo that could be construed as streets or levees or just his own mood barometer, well, whatever.

Posted by: Sharon at May 12, 2008 4:04 PM

My mom corrects the grammar of people on television. Usually reporters. The satisfaction at being right overrules the knowledge that they can't hear her.
Love you, momma!

Posted by: Lauren at May 12, 2008 4:08 PM

So wait a second, people are wearing necklaces with their name in cursive again? When did self-proclaimed fashion icons like the Lohan start wearing these again? Is it an attempt at retro-90's irony, because I'm pretty sure her irony-detector was gouged out by an errant wang a couple years ago. On second thought, the girls in my high school that wore them (in the actual 90's) were slutty, vaguely white trash, self-absorbed bitches, so I guess it's fitting she's trying to bring it back.

Posted by: MC Peepants at May 12, 2008 4:16 PM

Wow, Adrien Brody & Gonzo really do look alike. But Gonzo is cooler.

I can't imagine Babwa having sex with anyone. Not that I really want to try.

Posted by: Brie at May 12, 2008 4:21 PM

The unmitigated gall of Brad Pitt, to do something he cares about and then not talk about it, so we have to study random paparazzi pictures to feel superior.

One eyeroll, right back atcha.

Posted by: twig at May 12, 2008 4:26 PM

Ugh. I just made the serious mistake of reading the comments on that SWPL thread. It was not pretty. I suddenly feel it very necessary to tell you all that I love you and your collective rejection of idiocy.

In other news: MC Peepants, I had that goddamn song in my head all weekend, and today I can't stop muttering "612 Wharf Avenue" and it's a very good thing I don't know where you live because I'd kill you in your sleep. Or molest you. It's kind of a toss-up.

Posted by: Sarina at May 12, 2008 4:32 PM

Yeah, I'm kinda with twig, he's not running around all "MAI TATWO! LEMME SHOW YOU IT!", it looks like his shirt was blown up from the helicopter's blowback and some lucky paparazzi just happened to get the shot. It's not even him stating that's what the tattoo is, it's speculation on a website.

Those animal fostering stories are adorable and make me feel fuzzy inside. Awwww.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 12, 2008 4:41 PM

So you survived the weekend, Rusty? Your host seemed a bit bruised.

Posted by: Jay at May 12, 2008 4:50 PM

Twig, I agree wholeheartedly, he's not advertising it and it's not a butterfly tramp stamp, so why chastise the guy...also, wild speculation by an online celeb gossip magazine does not a tattoo of New Orleans make.

Sarina, I too made the mistake of reading the comments at SWPL, and, if said commenters are white, they may have to take down that post entirely since our collective love of grammar is disproved immediately and repetitively below.

Posted by: MC Peepants at May 12, 2008 5:03 PM

All I have to say about the Brad Pitt pic is:
Is it possible he has a belly? That does not look like the svelte, nicely-ab-ed Pitt of yore. I've heard that men lose muscle tone when their testosterone is removed, but sure Angelina cannot be that much of an emasculator? She strikes me as the type who would dump a man in ten seconds if he wasn't all man.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 12, 2008 5:08 PM

Paddy - Sympathy bloat.

Posted by: Kolby at May 12, 2008 5:12 PM

Oh *sigh*, while I don't really care about them, sometimes I feel a little sorry for celebrities. They just can't win. If they do something good, they're doing it for the attention, if they don't, they're selfish bastards. On the other hand, they can drown their misunderstood tears in a pool of money, so...there.

I love Famke Janssen and I'm glad she spoke out about the Dark Phoenix fuckeupery. Every time I think about it, I feel an uncontrollable rage rising. What's the schedule for The Pajiba Murder Tank tour again? I feel the need to kill.

Posted by: Joker at May 12, 2008 5:27 PM

I went to the Kids in the Hall show last night, but my story wasn't nearly as exciting as Brian's. We did have good seats and were able to see everything though. I loved the 'I danced like this in nth grade...' sketch. Good stuff. I may not have gone backstage, but it was a nice way to spend mother's day.

And speaking of hotchickswithdouchebags, the Mr. and I saw a guy at dinner last night who was wearing a head visor that came attached with douchebag hair sticking out of the top (streaked blond and sticking straight up about two inches). I couldn't tell if he was being funny or pathetic, but it did inspire our Halloween costumes for this year. We are totally going to be hotchickwithdouchebag! I can't wait.

Posted by: katy at May 12, 2008 5:33 PM

Oh, thank God, Stacey! I know so few people who watch "I Love New York" and NOT ONE of them has ever gotten my Janice comparison. My heart is very full right now. And not of bile or nacho cheese like usual.

Posted by: Geetch at May 12, 2008 6:15 PM

I completely agree with the idea that Weeds should have ended at Season 3. I mean, the season finale would have functioned pretty well as a series ending. To have the show without Romany Malco makes me consider not watching the show (until I remember that Andy Botwin will still be around). It all just sounds rather lame, and I love Weeds, so I say that with a heavy heart.
Of course, I think most shows should finish after just a few seasons. The only show I can think of that has benefitted from a long run is South Park.

Posted by: Lannie at May 12, 2008 6:37 PM

I will spend the remainder of the week hating on Prisco.

That is all.

Posted by: greer at May 12, 2008 6:51 PM

Jay, sadly the only way I wouldn't have made it out of this past weekend alive was if I drove a (literal) screwdriver into my own forehead to seek relief from the migraine I had that lasted 2 and a half days. I did get to meet Alex who was lovely and charming and extremely gracious at putting up with me while I was very VERY far from my best self.

I've only seen Weeds on second hand DVDs in sporadic and non-linear fashion but I can't imagine the show without Conrad and Heylia. They help balance it out when Nancy gets a bit too much of a swagger about herself.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 12, 2008 6:51 PM

I hate to break this to MC Peepants and anyone born after 1985, but your-name-in-cursive gold necklaces have been around since at least the late 1970s. The all-diamond-chip versions emerged in the 1980s, I believe. Maybe there are some fellow over-35s who can back me up on that.

Posted by: Lilly at May 12, 2008 7:03 PM

Lilly:
If my memories back that far are still accurate, the cursive necklace name thing used to be a sort of cheesy offering at street fairs and music festivals in the 1980s. It is the evil twin of the woven thread bracelet we all thought we had to have. I think today's version is that strip of leather with some shells on it that every 17 year old boy in my neighbourhood insists of wearing to be "rebellious"....not that I spend my days ogling the 17-year olds or anything.
*makes awkward coughing noise and shuffles away knowing she will never dig self out of that one once Socalled gets hold of it*

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 12, 2008 7:11 PM

Kolby:

Aha! I keep forgetting that you are now in the knowing-about-sympathy-bloat demographic. That may be it indeed. There's something rather touching about that explanation.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 12, 2008 7:15 PM

A Barbara Walters Sex tape? I can just imagine the dirty talk:

Babs: "You dirty flirter! Swerve your squirter with fervor!"

Helpless, Confused Man: "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

Babs: "You curly haired dirty pervert,sever my skirt and shirt and glur mer der fer sher Toothbrush der ber mur flur, nur?"

Helpless, Confused Man: "...What?"

Babs: "Glur."

Posted by: Jeremy at May 12, 2008 8:07 PM

I was born in the (very) late 70's myself (as my impending 30th birthday keeps reminding me) and I do vaguely remember the cursive necklaces gaining prominence in the 80's, but I'm positive Lohan does not, hence my reference for her going after 90's retro rather than 70's/80's.

Also, my "fondest" specific memory of them is of a gold "Dawn" hanging around the neck of the early-developing white trash girl at the 8th grade class pool party, I'm assuming to draw attention away from her equally early developing untrimmed neon bikini line, and that was in 1993-ish, so the 90's seemed accurate.

To be fair though, I think they have remained a best seller on the Wildwood boardwalk since their inception.

Posted by: MC Peepants at May 12, 2008 10:39 PM

I once had a roommate who called those necklaces whore name tags. She said only sluts wear them, so that l'homme du jour knows what name to call out. I don't know that I quite agree with that, but I do think they're silly and pretty tacky.

I don't believe in gold jewellery anyway, because I think it makes me look like I have jaundice.

Posted by: Sarina at May 12, 2008 11:07 PM

This is apropos of jack shit, but I'm hoping a reviewer is skimming this thread and sees this: WHO. IS. REVIEWING. FRONTIER(S).? Seriously... You've presented your loyal subjects with over a month of Achilles (sp?) cuttin', ugly-as-shit banner ads and it's either time to buck up and give us the most scathingest review ever, or shut this bitch down... "Frontier(s)" looks like either A: a fucking kick-ass horror film, or B: the goddamed leper messiah of torture-porn. Somebody has to review it. Has to. I'll donate a kidney. Plus my sister's pretty easy as far as I hear... I'll set you up... I WANT A GODDAM REVIEW!! Puh-leeaase?

Who's steppin' up?

Boynton - I gots a sweet-ass homemade pineapple tequilla sittin' in my fridge... real vanilla bean, pineapple chunks, brown sugar, killer hangover... Interested?

TK - MurderTank artwork (ready-to print). Could be yours... either that, or I knit you a fuckin' sweater. Do I know how to knit? Sweet christ, no. Will I learn? You gots it baybee...

Daniel - I'll never make another retarded post on your "Lost" recaps. EVER. Seriously. If I do, you choose your top ten "Lost" fans, come to my joint, and deliver a beat-down of epic proportions...

Dustin - A hummer. Whenever. Wherever. You name the time & place, I'm there. I'm not promising quality, but think of it more as... uh... Dude, it's a free hummer. Don't jinx it, brother...

Prisco - um... How about... guh. OH! I've got a shitload of old porn in my carhole. Classic shit, m'man. '93 - '99. It's yours. Other than that, I can give you mi madre's number. I'm not sure if she's willing, but she is available... You could be my new stepdad!!

Ranylt - your review will only count if I don't have to use a thesaurus to make it all the way through. Other than that, I'll do whatever you want. Except watersports (i.e. dirty watersports). That just ain't my thing. Married? No sweat - ask him what he likes - as long as it doesn't leave any permanent scarring on my face or neck, I'm good to go...

Fuck, I'll even throw in Minimu... No. Scratch that. JUST GIVE US A GODDAMED REVIEW!!

How about I set you up on a blind date with Ben... huh? That'll be fun, right?

Posted by: Skittimus Desperatus at May 13, 2008 12:27 AM

Awww! Personalised bribes Skitt? That really shows you care. I'm impressed. I was going to offer to pimp myself out in return for a review as the adverts have been capturing my attention also but I think you've got all the bases covered there.

My post-weekend bruising was all my own work Jay, and believe me "bruising" is a very apt phrase. Ouch. And also: yum. I'll take the hangover though, as socalled knows: hangovers are merely the Godtopus' punishment for being too awesome.

Aaaah, I love summer. And walking home at 2am through parks with cute boys. *Sigh*

Aaaand I'm back.

Genny, you were on fine form - the majority of people can't deal with me and my extreme levels of chattering even when they don't have a skull splitting headache so you really are winning here.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at May 13, 2008 4:48 AM

Anyone born after 1975 with a grandmother had those necklaces. Except me. My name was too weird back then.

Now let's all take BP's dick out of our collective mouths and get back to scathing and bitchy.

Posted by: boo at May 13, 2008 9:53 AM

Jeremy, that was hilarious. Don't think we didn't notice.

Skitt, I'm sure that they won't leave you hangin'. At first I was wondering, what is this Frontiers movie of which he speaks? Skitt clearly pays more attention to the ads than I do. And then I hit refresh and realized you were discussing the movie that goes along with those pix I find so disturbing...

Posted by: tamatha at May 13, 2008 11:09 AM

Jeremy that was so friggin' funny I peed a little bit. Actually a lot.

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 13, 2008 11:54 AM

Okay. Re: Gold cursive-name necklaces.

They are from the 70s. I am old, and this is something I know, and now you know, too.

The 70s. Just like every other hideously tacky fashion atrocity that occurred after WWII.

Coming next: Add-A-Beads. Look for them on Lohan's clavicle by summer's end!

That is all.

Posted by: Jerce at May 13, 2008 12:09 PM

WHO. IS. REVIEWING. FRONTIER(S).? Seriously... You've presented your loyal subjects with over a month of Achilles (sp?) cuttin', ugly-as-shit banner ads and it's either time to buck up and give us the most scathingest review ever, or shut this bitch down...

Attention Skitt: Hit Refresh.

Posted by: Jerce at May 13, 2008 12:18 PM

Funny that Phillip is the only one who wasn't promised something vaguely (or entirely) inappropriate in exchange for reviewing that movie.

Posted by: Lannie at May 13, 2008 1:01 PM

Jerce, you HAD to mention Add-A-Beads.
Horrible-school-memory anger rising, rising...subsiding, rising again, subsiding, okay gone.
The rich girls had the 1-inch colorful cloisene beads, regular gals had small 12k gold. Remember that you could add a charm holder as well. Damn things.

Posted by: happycat at May 13, 2008 2:35 PM

I was okay with not knowing a damn thing about Brad's lame tattoo, but then I had to go and read the link. My eyes rolled under the desk here.

Beware the guy who is too much into his girlfriend. He will completely assimilate her lifestyle, as Brad is copying Angela's ooh-i'm-a-rebel tats. Stuff written in Sanskrit? Come the hell on, man.

Posted by: happycat at May 13, 2008 2:42 PM





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