web counter
 

Is Andy Kaufman On Twitter? (Spoiler Alert: No)

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (36)

andykaufman.jpg

Someone on Twitter is claiming to be Andy Kaufman and claims to be making his first public appearance in the 25 years since his death on May 16th. How awesome would it be if like, just this once, it turned out to be real? I know, it won’t. (Cinematical)

Ha ha! China is getting their very own incarnations of those horrible High School Musical movies. Sucks for you, China! (Agent Bedhead)

Poor Tom Cruise. Apparently even his fellow Scientologists think that he’s a big giant laughingstock. (Yeeeah!)

Kendra Wilkinson, America’s double-digit breasted and single-digit brain-celled sweetheart reportedly has not only one, but several sex tapes which feature “multiple partners.” Oh, Kendra! /laugh track (Litelysalted)

UGH. Someone thought it would be a good idea to make “Pauly D” from “Jersey Shore” a spokesperson for Baskin Robbins. What, are they test marketing a new lasagna and roofie flavor? (Celebslam)

Here are five movie settings which automatically make a movie cool. Well, “cool” perhaps, but not necessarily “good.” (Unreality)

You’ll never guess what that pudgy little turd from “Two and a Half Men” makes per episode. It’ll make you want to go find a fat kid and punch him in the face. (Warming Glow)

OK, we all know Betty White did a totally fucking awesome job hosting “Saturday Night Live” this weekend, but COME ON. The Oscars? Give the poor woman a rest. (DListed)

Here are nine real-life deaths which shook nerddom. (Topless Robot)

Wisteria Lane’s resident Michael Jackson impersonator is launching her own lifestyle website called “Get Hatched.” Um. *crickets chirp* (Celebitchy)

Story time! When I was in my late teens, my cousin told me about how her three-year-old son had diarrhea, so he pulled down his pants and went directly on their white carpeting. Then he got a paper cup from the bathroom, scooped it up and deposited an amount of feces in every room of their house, which was likewise carpeted in white. The point of my story is, this is when I decided that I did not ever want to have children, and also to introduce the Tumblr Page of the Day. Seriously though, who carpets their entire house in white with young kids, anyway? (Shit My Kids Ruined)

See? Every time you assily correct a columnist or fellow commenter’s grammar on Pajiba, the Nazis have won:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Five Neverhaves Who Could Follow in Betty White's Wake as Host of "SNL" | A Generic Spielbergian Crowd Pleaser? | Super 8 Teaser Trailer →









Comments

May 16th is my birthday. I now know what I want for my birthday. (I wish the Twitter rumor about Andy Kaufman is true. *blows out candles*)

Posted by: Nimue at May 11, 2010 1:08 PM

I think we can rename today's Pajiba Love "One Kid, One Cup".

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at May 11, 2010 1:15 PM

Playing Devil's Advocate for a moment, yes, that kid makes a cool $20,000/episode (counting taxes) but we don't know where his money is actually going. Hopefully it's being invested for his best interest. How many pathetic stories have we heard about child celebrity parents blowing all their kid's money away?

Betty White doesn't need to host the Oscars. That's a big fucking job, there are pros who don't want that gig. I don't see her being any better or worse than the past few hosts, so I would say nay.

Thanks for the shit story, Nosek. Here's one: a college chum of mine told me she use to eat her own shit as a baby, all the time. She was pretty nonchalant about it. I have never heard of that occurrence, and I don't care how harmless it is, it never happened in my family.

So, yeah. Kids are gross.

Posted by: Brie at May 11, 2010 1:15 PM

"A dangling participle!"
Pow!

Hahahahaha!
I love it.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 11, 2010 1:20 PM

As much hatred as 2.5 men gets around here, the idea that Charlie Sheen's character's entire subplot revolved around him hiring a hooker was funny in conception-not so much in execution.

Posted by: mrcreosote at May 11, 2010 1:21 PM

Brie,

What kind of attention whore casually admits to eating shit as a kid?! If they were my roommate, I'd do things like yell, "Dinner's served!" after every shit and leave a spoon, bib and salt shaker next to the toilet. Why? Because fuck them for sharing some retarded fucking story about eating shit. Are you really proud of that? Prove it.

Posted by: Kballs at May 11, 2010 1:28 PM

I am never having kids. Never.

NEVER.

Posted by: Trouble at May 11, 2010 1:29 PM

I am never having white carpet. NEVER.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 11, 2010 1:31 PM

Brie, doll, that's $250,000 an episode. Orders of magnitude. So, 22ish episodes per season, that's about 5.5 mil per season. It's been on for 7 seasons (and counting). That's close to $40 million. Even taking out 20% for agents and handlers, and 30% for taxes, he's still probably got $20 million dollars. {Look, everybody, I can do math! (With a calculator.)}

Every time you assily correct a columnist or fellow commenter’s grammar on Pajiba, the Nazi’s have won:

REALLY? REALLY? Are you trying to give us an aneurysm?

Posted by: MM at May 11, 2010 1:34 PM

Poor Tom Cruise. Apparently even his fellow Scientologists think that he’s a big giant laughingstock.
He's neither "big" nor a "giant"......

Posted by: Odnon at May 11, 2010 1:36 PM

As for the One Woman Human Centipede eating her own feces.....

No. Just . No.

Posted by: Odnon at May 11, 2010 1:37 PM

i don't NEED to know how much he makes. i'll just punch children out of sheer ignorance.

Posted by: gp at May 11, 2010 1:38 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA - "We play cock!" That poor woman.

Man, I remember when Phil Hartman died. I was so crushed. Dude was frickin hilarious. But now I have a new motivation to go crazy on YouTube reliving his best moments. /productivity

Posted by: Patty O'Green at May 11, 2010 1:58 PM

I'd like to think that Tom Cruise's audit videos are a lot like Chunk's confession scene in The Goonies.

"In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog..."

Posted by: Melodie at May 11, 2010 2:00 PM

Kballs, I think we were watching some nature program and they mentioned that animals eat their own poop, and I remarked about how nasty that was. That was when she told me about her own...well, you know.

Although, is there really any proper way to segue that into the conversation? Some secrets are best left untold.

I know he's making a lot of money, MM. Hell, $100 an ep would make me happy, poor as I am. I just mean that we don't know where the money is going. Wasn't Macauley Culking pulling in that kind of cheese before his father wasted it all?

Posted by: Brie at May 11, 2010 2:06 PM

That list of deaths made me so sad. I'm far too young to have truly appreciated many of them in their prime (I was only 14 when Phil Hartman was shot) but Heaths death rocked my world a bit.

And I've always thought that there was a twinge of melancholy in Kermit's "somewhere over the rainbow" and I do get a touch teary eyed when I hear it.

/sniffle

Posted by: Lennon at May 11, 2010 2:11 PM

Cue Betty White overload as every asshole in Hollywood tries to cash in on our love for her. Good fucking lord IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE? Why must everything that becomes popular be pushed to death by these bastards?

That poor (still annoying) kid in 2 1/2 Men is going to have a terrible time as an adult. I mean, come on. Kid was hired because he was chubby and adorable, now he's all grown up and just fat with a constant frown on his face and he can't act worth a damn. Dude has no future and unless he finds something better to do with his life he'll never get an acting job as a grownup. It's sad, but we all know it's gonna happen. He should save all his money while he still can.

Posted by: figgy at May 11, 2010 2:11 PM

Here are nine real-life deaths which shook nerddom

Is #10 Frank Frazetta? (great documentary on his life, btw )

Posted by: mswas at May 11, 2010 2:12 PM

Why did the grammar Nazi suddenly develop a Jersey accent?

Posted by: Sparkletits at May 11, 2010 2:18 PM

I hope Betty White is making a fucking MINT from all of this attention. And, I hope she leaves it all to her 25 year old lover when she passes one day. She should have her own male version of Anna Nicole Smith.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 11, 2010 2:36 PM

I ate shit once when I was a baby. My mother caught me tossing wee turds in like malted milk balls.

*slinks away*

Posted by: superasente at May 11, 2010 2:47 PM

Excuse me, LindsEy, but I'm 32.

Posted by: admin at May 11, 2010 2:51 PM

if being a grammar nazi is wrong, i don't want to be right.

Posted by: stopthemadness at May 11, 2010 2:52 PM

My friend's baby was cavorting blissfully around buck nekkid last summer, as in, diaperless (eek!), and then he was put in his high chair, and given something to eat. Well, he peed all over his high chair, dropped some of his food on the seat (in the pee), picked it up, ate it...

My *other* friend who was also there (not the mother) was aghast [I love that word]. She just could not have been more grossed out. I was kinda like, "eh." Won't kill him, right?

Posted by: MM at May 11, 2010 2:55 PM

Wow, there should have been some sort of warning that the list of deaths included Phil Hartman. Now I'm going to be sad again all day.

Posted by: Lois at May 11, 2010 2:59 PM

I think we're burying the lead here. I sense a disturbance in the Force. I envision a Tom Cruise awakening that will turn him into a more devastating creature than ever before. I think we might just being seeing the beginning of the end of Scientology with this story. If you don't think Cruise could take this org down by himself, I think you're fooling yourself.

He's a monster ya'll. Even if he is closeted.

Posted by: gunnertec at May 11, 2010 3:10 PM

Grammatik macht frei.

Posted by: Royalewithcheese at May 11, 2010 3:16 PM

What, are they test marketing a new lasagna and roofie flavor

This makes me giggle and want to horf at the same time. You just KNOW some guido-stereotype is actually going to try to put roofies in his guidette-stereotype girlfriend's lasagna.

Posted by: stardust at May 11, 2010 3:24 PM

admin
You are clearly already too old for Betty. By the time she shakes off this earthly coil, you will be old hat. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 11, 2010 3:26 PM

Based solely on my Pajiba experience, I can safely conclude that the Grammar Nazis are, indeed, far more of a pain in the ass than the bad spellers.

I mean, really, I cringe at bad spelling and grammar as much as the next person. But I don't continually bitch, which is what makes the Grammar Nazis so completely insufferable. Just keep it to yourself, or keep a little journal with all the mistakes you make and write an angry blog about it and no one will care. Just...stop correcting people. You will always look like an asshole.

(/rant)

Posted by: figgy at May 11, 2010 3:49 PM

My golden retriever eats her own shit like her ass is her own personal candy factory. Like OMG I have to poop! *poops* OMG DELICIOUS TREAT.

What I'm saying is--if my child ate poop I would feed it to my golden retriever.

Posted by: Lindsay at May 11, 2010 3:50 PM

*bitch about it, I mean.

And yes I realize I'm bitching about the bitching. But you would too if you had to read through full threads of people correcting a spelling mistake.

Posted by: figgy at May 11, 2010 3:52 PM

You need to stop posting lists from "Unreality." Seriously, every list I've read, scanned through, or pooped on has not been worth any of the time it takes to perform the above actions.

Stop it.

Posted by: Thurgod at May 11, 2010 6:30 PM

What I'm saying is--if my child ate poop I would feed it to my golden retriever.

Wait -- feed the poop, or feed the child?

Posted by: Gabs at May 11, 2010 6:35 PM

Um, the kid from 2.5 Men isn't fat anymore...

Posted by: tinmo at May 11, 2010 11:50 PM

That deaths list made me cry.
Particularly for Douglas Adams. I was like, 9 when he died, and it made me cry even then. He was, is, and always will be my number 1 hero.

I want to go watch the truly awful/amazing Hitchhikers Guide tv show now...

Posted by: ruby at May 13, 2010 1:21 AM