Pajiba

Ha! Sarina's first review, and it raised so much ire...and from the author no less. Too funny, my pie-hating friend.

Wow. Prioleau Alexander is kind of an immature, churlish prick. I find it interesting that he's completely incapable of accepting that people might dislike his writing or his ideas. Get over yourself, jackass.

Good for you, Sarina. I thought your review was excellent.

I didn't write the comment on that site, but I find it hilarious that:

a) someone plagiarised my annoyed review of this lackluster book to make an anonymous comment on a librarian site

b) it seems to have intensely pissed of Mr. Alexander, who appears to be even more of an egotistical idiot than I had previously guessed

Awesome!

Goddammit. I write all these nasty things in MY reviews trying to lure Adam Sandler into a barbedwire cagematch, and nothing. But Sarina fires off ONE book review and "Googlemyself McNobody-really-names-their-kid-Prioleau" goes apeshit.

But according to the website, it's just because you're a fat crybaby librarian, Sarah.

I'm so proud of you. I'd give you a celebratory anuspunch or a big cake, but we know how you feel about pastry.

Damn...what a douche. Someone needs to go punch Mr. Alexander in the taint.

Ginormous indeed. Print and save...I know one thing she's good at.

I used to love Nikki. Poor girl...giving in to the demands of a competitive mouth-massaging services...

Okay, NOW y'all can feel free to be proud of me, as I posted a comment of my own in that little discussion.

Yes, that was a kick-ass response, Sarina! Even better than a punch in the taint, if you ask me.

Holy fuzzy baby bunnies, but that guy comes off like a major ass. I mean, who the hell DOES that, anyway? Does he think he's changing people's opinions of him like that? "Googlemyself McNobody-really-names-their-kid-Prioleau" indeed, ICNH

"Socalled only cousins stomped his foot....."
Well, at least he didn't offer to give you a blumpie!!!

"In this marvelous book, Prioleau Alexander takes you inside worlds you never imagined and would never want to go to, and does it with wit, style, and compassion."
-Pat Conroy

There but for the grace of God go I to Papa John's? The guy didn't write "The Jungle", but is Pat Conroy that horrified by minimum wage work? Not to pile on, but, yeah, they both kinda sound like schmucks.

So, I have a top lip that occasionally disappears in photos, meaning I have to be really careful about angles. Every so often, I think to myself "maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I just got some small, tasteful injections to round things out a bit."

Then I see thing like the ones currently occupying Nikki Cox's face, and I just am more careful about how I face the camera, and buy plumping lip gloss. Good God, what plastic surgeon would EVER want his name to be associated with that?

Well, that is just great.

My day already sucked, and then I see Nikki Cox.

Dammit all to hell. Still, the rest of her look good, and it is better than nothing.

And congrats for the extra-Pajiban website nod, Serena! Even if it is by a douchebag. Then again, I never did get anybody pissed off at my reviews. Great, now I am angry again...

Is it just me or did James Raymond imply that Ms. Larson took offense at fat girl jokes because she is fat? Maybe I am dense though. Personally, I take offense at any joke that belittles any individual or group (for color, ethnicity, size, sexual orientation, etc.). What does that say about MY frame of mind? Oh, that I am a fat white chick with a crappy sense of humor.

hee, you get some secret surprises when obsessively hitting refresh over here.
Fluffy kittens indeed.

Yeah. So I just decided NOT to read Alexender's book. Thanks Sarina.

The book seemed so off the radar to me after the review-- a har-har look at minimum wage jobs that isn't new/insightful/entertaining to people who have already worked such jobs out of necessity.

That little internet exchange has given me a new hobby-- making sure nobody I know buys the book, or anything else that may serve to put money in that guy's whiney little fists.

Ugh.

Oh, no you fucking di'int even trash Sarina, you fucking tool! Below, the full text of my comment on the blog where Prioleau (seriously? Prioleau?) attacked our Sarina. Am I feeling self-righteous? Why, yes I am. Hey, Prioleau, since I know you're cruising the web looking for any mention of you and your tiny penis, FUCK YOU!

*****

Wow, Prioleau, thanks for proving you're a tool

Full disclosure: I write regularly for Pajiba, without receiving any compensation, and I stay anonymous to protect my real job.

So, I hope you've come out of hiding from those scary threats to your face and your taint by people who wouldn't know you from Adam and couldn't give a used kleenex about your whereabouts or goings-on. Are you okay? You didn't wet yourself, did you?

You have seen, or at least heard about, these interweb thingies? Apparently so, you're here on a comment thread talking shit about the reviewer of your book. At any rate, you put your work out there, apparently for a profit, definitely for public consumption. She read it and didn't like it. She reviewed it on the internet, where the fur often flies and the coarse language rules. And your comeback is that Pat Conroy -- who isn't exactly Kurt Vonnegut, by the way -- liked your book?

I have to say, your response here is completely consistent with the image of you conjured by Sarah's review of your work: an overprivileged, arrogant, self-indulgent ... um, yeah, "asshat" was spot-on, actually. Congratulations on winning everyone over.

As for your claim that she trashed you "personally," what are the essential elements of your book? They appear to be your personal choices in certain activities you undertook and your personal reactions to and opinions about the results of those choices. In sum, you chose to put your personal nature out there in public view, then cried like a little bitch when someone commented negatively on what you offered up. What was she supposed to talk about in her review, when your whole premise comes from your shallow, nitwit opinions about people who actually have to do physical labor to subsist?

You probably should go back to your private executive washroom where you can hide from scrutiny. If you plan on writing any more books -- or venturing out on to the scary internet -- you should definitely develop a thicker skin and some smidge of a hint of a guess of your overall importance in the world. Jackass.

*****

And Paddy, I totally saw that. You're not going to be happy till you convince the world I'm into poo-eating. Damn, woman, it was just that one time, and I only did it because you begged. I should have known better.

And to think I've been trying to bait Whit Stillman into a public pissing match for months. I guess it just proves the old adage, if you want to do some internet mud wrestling, go after the untalented shitbag hack with a thin skin whose public outbursts only prove all the negative comments about him. I think Ben Franklin said that. To wit:

Ted Boynton is a dedicated sot who would leave his barstool only to stalk Uwe Boll, if anyone wanted to find Uwe Boll. Ted also manages to hold down a job and a wife, three hours each per day, whether they need it or not. Readers may scold, hector, admonish or taunt Ted by e-mailing him at thecarygrantrules@hotmail.com.

The ball's in your court, Uwe. Which is almost as much of an ur-tard name as Prioleau.

Socalled: now you're sharing our "dirty" little secret with thw webosphere? Hey I'm trying to maintain a "matriarch of Pajiba" thing here. I may have to turn my affections to Ted Boynton if this keeps up.
Question; what does one drink to get the bad taste of Prioleau's ego out of my mouth?

It's not popular, but I do get effing sick of the personal attacks on celebrities/writers/those in the entertainment industry. The frightening levels of Hiegl hate turned me off (and said as much, making myself mighty unpopular) as do the offhand comments about physical harm. Let's save the hate for people who deserve it.
That said, his response was all kinds of ridiculous. People are bound to dislike your work. If you can't handle it, I'd suggest returning to the blue-collar life.

Socalled,

We're watching Coneheads whilst drinking absinthe? Your auto-correct has AWESOME suggestions. That combination is sure to inspire mind-altering visions. And probably incontinence.

It's on then, you boozy sumbatch! I'm havin' the add-on fitted for a midget... er, a little person tux at the local Prom Shop. I believe I've mentioned it before, but in case I haven't, he gets a little touchy-feely after a drink or two. I'd intervene, but here's the thing - we've got an agreement: I don't stop him from what he's doing on a date, and in turn, he pretends to be an osteoporosis hump when I'm on mine... Longstanding agreement, I'm afraid...

P.S. Absinthe makes Minimus prone to... well, it's not really ejacula... Listen - JUST make sure he gets a lot of water, m'kay? Tanks main....

Jay! Try not to look so cheerful, man. You need to know, and I'm not even kidding, that your photo is now my desktop/screensaver. Replacing ye olde Pajiba banner, natch. Pre-Iron Man.

It has a distinct Elvis Costello feel.

Declaiming Pat Conroy a tool simply because he favorably blurbed some book seems a tad group-think-ish, you know?

Stop being fair-minded and even-keeled! Pat Conroy wrote Prince of Tides and [/gulp] Beach Music. Make him stop, and then we'll stop. That's only fair. The Great Santini was long ago and far away. Since then it's been Barbara Streisand and minty tea.

And I say that as someone who likes minty tea.

socalled-
We all enjoy minty tea. I just finished some Plantation Mint myself (which makes me feel vaguely dirty, but i'll not bring my white guilt into this).

I wasn't aware of the Barbara Streisand element. I redact my previous comment.

Well I've nothing against Pat Conroy, but the blurb Alexander put on his site read as either overdramatic or really sheltered.

Ted, glad to be of service. My friend Susie next to me (hence the filename) was having a much better time, but she was better adjusted and not thinking "is she really going out with him?". Ah to be young and mopey and also displeased that you're the only person who doesn't want Indian food far from home.

I guess Sarina has to eventually sing "God: Part III" (Part II already residing on "Rattle and Hum").

Conroy did also write "My Losing Season" just a few years ago (post-Prince of Tides) and it is a really good book. I've never read or watched POT because I avoid anything Streisand is remotely connected with so I can't say if "My Losing" Season canceled out POT, but it was a damn fine memoir.

He is a cuttie, he is my favorite. I love him. Is he single now? I saw him on "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m " last week. Just curious.

Wha-? Be right back.

Socalled gets threatened by a marine?

First off: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It would never have occurred to me to go back to Library Blogs, but thank you, lil. I'm sure every ex-Marine is thanking Raymond or James (is he named after the Buccaneers' stadium or vice versa?) right now for setting in concrete the unfortunate (and usually incorrect, but not in this case) stereotype of the stupidly aggressive jarhead Marine obsessed with physical discipline, a code word for gay-bashing, self-hating homosexual antics if ever there was one.

All the things I loved about that post:

1) Private Jagoff James appears to be "gus" from the book review thread, as they both have a tenuous grasp of syntax and grammar and both resort to non sequitur fat jokes every time they disagree with someone.

2) Private Jagoff James, who plainly is not a regular on Library Blogs, mysteriously shows up promptly after my post to defend his comrade from internet criticism. It's pretty clear that Prioleau and Raymond were doing more in the latrine than just examining each other for dingleberries.

3) The time-honored tactic of using physical aggression and threats of brutality in an argument about an intellectual issue.

4) The pathetic obsession with hazing rituals and the self-assurance that all the sadistic ass-kicking he supposedly took in the military is meaningful in a discussion of his lover's book.

5) The pathetic web troll tactic of trying to insulate himself from a response -- since Library Blogs is my website of choice -- by assuring any readers that "Ted-let" will respond to his empty vitriol, thus putting me to the choice of proving him right or letting him have the last word. (Ted-let? WTF? Seriously, that's the type of nicknaming convention learned in the stockade shower.)

6) The manly-man thunder of "grow a pair" in response to an explanation of anonymity. I know this ur-tard just discovered the internet, but isn't everyone familiar with what happens to people like Chez, the KSK guy, etc.?

Since I know you're reading, Raymond, or James, or gus, or whatever they call you down at the Man-Hole, take this to the bank: I'm not afraid of you, tough guy. Seriously, what are you going to do, fly here and beat me up for calling your special friend a bitch? I am afraid of my employer, however, and have learned from the way others were treated.

Now I KNOW I am too involved in the Pajiba comments. I totally want our "Teddy" to kick "James Raymond" in the ass--not only for attacking Mr. Socalled but also for insulting the lovely and talented Ms. Larson. If someone can suggest a venue for this ass-kicking, I'll bring homemade chocolate chip cookies and Maker's Mark.

Geez, good to see that our tax dollars and military technology are being put to good use by Gomer and his buddies.

Brigette, I'll be the first to admit that it will continue to be virtual venue. I'm over the hill, half-schnockered most of the time, and don't need a physical confrontation with some lunatic one step removed from a guest shot as an extra in 28 Days Later.

I love, love, love that Prioleau Alexander included the Pajiba "punch in the taint" comment to illustrate how depraved we are. I would NEVER link myself to that comment!

As to Pat Conroy, I must admit to liking some of his books, even though they are ridiculously overwrought at times. That said, I think he romanticizes the working poor big time in his books, so I'm not surprised he'd find this kind of thing colorful.

Sarina, it appears you are now marked as a threat to Homeland Security.

Watch your back, girl. And report that shit to your cell phone company. They are getting serious flack right now for illegal tapping via the Patriot Act.

Thas some bull right thar! More reason for me to remain anon. Kinda.

Thanks, Pajiba, for littering my previously pristine LISNews with your bitchriol. You got your snark in my dry-as-dirt Book Hustler News. I bet the other 'brarians were knocked out of their sensible shoes! :)

It's a requirement. They even have loaners by the door in case you forget to take off your fetish heels.

Jay wears sensible shoes? I am SO disappointed.

Well, I'm generally in steel toed 10 hole Dr. Martens (which are made for the job, really), with white All-Stars now and then, but I do have plenty of old man sweaters. Plus my explanation of the many benefits, tools and problems to avoid in membership can be drier than a very dry thing.

But it's for your own good! I'm looking out for you, so don't say I didn't tell you (also for your own good, don't leave your card or ID in your car. Wouldn't you be upset if someone just told me they were you and I said "oh, okay!"?) ! I do always use "Anansi Boys" in my "how to search the catalog and place holds" section of the story, but no one ever appreciates it.

Yes, I am a hardnosed bastard on identity. The Cardigan Menace, some call me.