Pajiba

I don't know, Pedigree's "Select Cuts"

Is Mrs TK pregnant? I'm not sure how I greet this news. The child will surely be raised by zombie nannies.

"This is the grossest thing I’ve seen in ever: A canned whole chicken.
It looks like a stillborn animal of some sort. Blergh."

Wow. Thanks Stacey. Thanks a goddam bunch.

On second glance, you throw an eyeball and a tuft of hair on that thing - you're looking at Wendel...

Yay! Mutants have taken over Pajiba Love today!

A Boom Boom X-Men movie? Really? I mean, Psylocke I'd like to see, and even Prof. X, but Boomer? Seriously?

Who do I have to sell my soul to in order to bring the "Age of Apocalypse" storyline to the big screen?? It's my favorite storyline, besides the "Dark Phoenix" saga (sadly, we know how that turned out in X3 - fuck you, Brett Ratner!). It is rather ambitious, but I'd love to see it happen!

I can't wait to see Wolverine today!

And that video is awesome. I can't tell you how many of my pregnant friends I've secretly wanted to slap.

Here's the thing about pregnant women just saying, "....just as long as it's healthy...": we mean it. Anyone who has never been pregnant/had a child has no idea that you spend a good chunk of the 9+ months scared shitless that something could go wrong. So, putting on a brave face and purposely being vague should not be mistaken for smugness. Sometimes it's no one else's business what the fuck is going on in your uterus.

And if I didn't have a child, I'd still find those skinny, shrill wenches annoying as hell.

I tend to agree with Kolby here on the scared shitless bit (although I am as my neighbours describe me "childless"), but what I really don't get is why people feel they can speak to pregnant women differently. I've seen complete strangers walk up to a pregnant woman and put their hands on her stomach. I've heard some of the most invasive questions asked of pregnant women (did you go off the pill? did it take you long to get pregnant? did you have miscarriages before "it took"? (including asking a non-pregnant overweight woman when is she due). Yes, there are the smug breeders who encourage that and tend to act as they are the first woman ever to bear a child, but I feel that people treat women with ripe bellies as if they are public property.

On the other hand, I have to say that pregnancy is not an illness and I resent the parking spots set aside for pregnant women.

Kolby has a point, however, that video was fucking awesome. Mostly because my neice-in-law did all of those things. "We have two names picked out but were not telling, we don't want anyone to steal them". Yeah, because you're so fucking original.

Smug bitch.

Oh, and now I want soem Wendel....I mean chicken.

"... I resent the parking spots set aside for pregnant women..."

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 1, 2009 2:03 PM

So. do. I. if you're healthy enough to breed, you're healthy enough to walk the extra 100 feet to Home Depot.

Kolby:

Of course in your case, we had officially mass-adopted him and named him the Kolbaby months in advance.

Damn, how about some love for me? I went to see Neil too (click on my name, you'll see)!

I love you lizzie...but not only for your adventures. :::wink:::

Forgive me if this is a stupid question,
but isn't the brunette in that video Ted's girlfriend from Scrubs?

I hear what you're saying Kolby, we haven't decided what to name the babymin yet, but that doesn't stop people from asking.

Actually I was going to see if Dustin would do a name the baby contest for me as my wife and I are totally stumped. Winner gets a T-shirt. It's got some paint on it, as well as pit and liquor stains, but I'm sure somebody would love it. It's pure Saskatchewana.

As for "New Mommy" parking spots: I don't really care for them either (not that it'll stop me from taking advantage) but I'll take issue with them as soon as they stop handing out handicapped permits to everyone with a headache. (No offence to those of you currently experiencing headaches)

Ooh, it should be a mini-diversion. It could help stop the spread of increasingly moronic names.

Not telling names because you fear theft is ridiculous. But there are other reasons; with my first child we told both sets of parents the name in advance. The responses were disheartening, to say the least. Dad: "With all the beautiful names out there, why would you pick ___ ?" In Laws: Er, oh. And looks on their faces akin to the face one makes when encountering a bad smell.

With our next two children, they were given pre-birth names of Peanut Butter and Taco Bell.

I thought Kolby had a sense of humor! Turns out that tard-babies are where she draws the line. Sort of validates the song's point, hm?

Perl, you are correct. That is indeed The Gooch, a.k.a., Kate Micucci, from Scrubs. I wish they had made her a recurring character. She's cute in a bizarre, hipster-ish kind of way.

Shouldn't everybody draw the line at "tard babies"?

Twisted G:

Despite my not wanting to start anything on a Friday afternoon, may I ask what the fuck you are trying to say? A mother's wish to have a healthy baby somehow translates to having no sense of humour? Attacking Kolby on that point is so out of line. Not clever, not funny, not even Pookie-level awkward, just plain out of line.

Did I just get ma'am-d? Someone hold me back.

Maybe she'll be a priest instead. Same difference I suppose.

Good luck with that from the site that has spawned:

Everyone knows it, nobody says it.

Got two kids of my own. Hated pregnancy. Hated the birth experience. Hated the whole thing. Love my kids now that they're OUT of me, but ha.ted. the whole experience from start to finish. It's not an overwhelming joy to be pregnant; it's uncomfortable and painful and messy and did I mention uncomfortable and painful?

Laughed myself into a coughing fit watching this video.

Pregnancy is not a miracle, so fuck off.

Kolby:

I tried posting a comment in your defense and the site blocked it for some reason (can we not use profanities anymore or something?). Twisted G's comment is way out of line. I'll be right behind you taking a swing.

I'm just staying the hell away from this one.

I do most sincerely apologize for offending for you madams, who I have nothing but respect for. My remark about special needs infants was terribly and intentionally uncouth. I was hoping to make the point that responding to a song about smugness by getting offended seems to underscore the very point of the song. I believe that we should all laugh at ourselves and others, even if the particular jokes hit close to home or are mean-spirited. Reacting with anger and self-entitlement only makes others want to walk down the street, banging on pots and pans and singing "Pregnant women are smug!"

Twisted G:

Even as a sworn non-breeder, I can see that there is nothing funny about going through a nine-month bonding process with all the hopes and dreams that go with it and then having to face the altered reality of delivering a special needs child regardless of what part of the spectrum the diability falls on. I've seen it happen to friends and it's not that the babies were less loved, it's that it hurts so much to see this vulnerable little person starting out in an even more vulnerable position and there's nothing you can do. There is nothing unreasonable about a mother saying she just hopes the baby is healthy. There's nothing smug about saying you don't care about the gender (it's actually rooted in our historical backgrounds as people of superstition: in my country, we never buy a thing for the baby until its born so as not to tempt fate). It was a funny video but the comments became way too personal in terms of attacking a new mother's sense of humor. That's where I draw the line.

It's not the crazy names that bother me as much as the ones that are just regular names and get moronically misspelled.

Kourtnie. Seendie. Karoline. Ashleigh.

It's not cute. It's not original. It makes you look like a moron who can't spell.

While on the subject of Cannonball Run, I wonder who the hell owns the right to it, I haven't seen it in years.

And I would join in the stabbing of anyone involved in the remaking/raping of it.

Yes!
hate smug anythings
hate jacked up and misspelled names
am pissed i never noticed those pregnant parking spaces til after i had my kids
who i love very much but HATED being pregnant
so shut up, you mother-smuggers!

Awww. Too bad he couldn't be the lifesaver.

Oh, wow, ahhaha, poor kid. I've heard of a worse name than Shithead, the kid was called Stupid Arse Urban Legend McGee.

Maybe I'm just horrible, but Kirstie Alley reminds me of the Ursula from the Little Mermaid.

kate the great, I have no problem with Peregrin (you could just name him Falcon), but, how do you get Pippin as a shortened version?

Replica, mad love to you doll, but I'm coming to steal your comics.

That "Shithead" story is an urban legend. Best/worst REAL name:

Shere-Khan Smoot

For fans of this sort of thing:

http://www.nameoftheyear.com/

I recently met a woman who thought her given name was Wanda until the day she picked up her birth certificate for a marriage license and discovered she was actually Yondie.

kate the great, I have no problem with Peregrin (you could just name him Falcon), but, how do you get Pippin as a shortened version?
Posted by: admin

DUDE! It's from Lord of the Rings!
Oh my god, we can't be friends. I can't breathe. This is just...oh. Terrible. Ehhg...
*runs off sobbing*

I've never met a human being who actively roots for someone to have an unhealthy or disabled child.

Maybe in some far-flung region there is an individual muttering to himself, 'If this kid doesn't have Tay-Sachs, I'm going to put down a tantrum that will be indescribable', but I surely don't know who that person is. So, the issue of healthiness seems like a moot point: everyone wants healthy kids, yours or not.

Inappropriate touching is a huge drag, and pregnant women get a disproportionate amount, I'm sure it's icky and awkward and all the rest, and I don't envy that. But the rest of us aren't immune. Hell, some dude followed me around Yorkdale and grabbed my left boob yesterday.

I did not enjoy this.

The off-putting thing for people who haven't had kids is that people who have had them, often read a lot into it, and the script isn't too flattering. Generalization, obviously. But who hasn't run into the chick who spontaneously, and as if by osmosis, absorbed all of the wisdom of the universe?

Why haven't you, when are you going to grow up? Perhaps, you're not fully actualized, because you haven't experience the full range of the human experience. You're not going to get actualized until you get with it. You're excluded from the breath of the divine that is parenthood, unable to fathom the scope and depth of LIFE. This could mean that this person leads a selfish, unloved life of blinkered solipsism or cloistered insignificance. There's no contribution to posterity, no gentle thaw of the frosty countenance that is ever in concert with the presumption of 'not getting it'. Not having anyone depend on you, or love you with the unadorned purity that can only be provided by a child means that you are not truly matured. For some, there's the sense that there is a natural order about things, and a set of stages through which one must pass. Now we see that's a pretty sad pathology at work: to stubbornly keep yourself mired in a state of arrested development. It's like being a preserved moose, minus the noble bearing. If you aren't needed, if something native to your aspect hasn't commanded this kind of affection, you're expendable. You're devoid of purpose. You haven't passed through that door, the most important one, and it's probably because you're not special enough to get someone to care enough about you to make a family. 'You're old and you're ugly, nobody likes you!' And that's the very same aspect that self-perpetuates itself into perennial loveless bitterness.

If you think that pregnant woman are smug, it could likely be because you've had the kind of experience as follows: These single people shouldn't try to drag the rest into Hell with their irreverent attitudes towards mothers-to-be, but they must be endured with gentle good humour, because they're sad. They lash out because they're insecure, and they're bitter because the signs of pregnancy are proof-positive to all within its vicinity that this woman wins at life. So the rest must be left to furrow their brows and ponder agonizingly over their Lean Cuisines as to how these others have managed to pull off the universal dream, seemingly ex nihilo? what can the childless person do to achieve the same? How many Saturday nights will be lost to fevered sessions of watching 'The Baby Birth' on TLC? It doesn't matter if it's into a Cosmopolitan, all tears taste the same. And your 300-count Egyptian pillowcases get just as wet as the ones belonging to those couples in conjugal laundry bliss.

A whole uninvited psychological rundown from someone not qualified to make based on a bunch on asinine and unproven assumptions. Thanks.

If you don't want to talk about the uterus, it is BEYOND fine by me. A major event, or something that's taking up that lion's share of your energies will inevitable be your primary talking point. I can't even count the number of glazed eyeballs I've induced with all the intricacies of my research. What's that about mucous plugs, you say? Here's the thing. Listening to any topic at length--about something that doesn't relate to you, or stimulate you in any way-- does get tedious. It just does. How long can anyone be expected to hold out when conversation always ends up focusing on the Superbowl? Why can't you just give up and say, 'Who's Football?'

That pregnancy video was the best thing that's happened to me all week. You rule.

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