Patrick Dempsey, who for me played his most memorable role as the pizza boy male prostitute in Loverboy, has become the male version of Sarah Jessica Parker. (Deus Ex Malcontent)
Sometimes, you don’t need a reason to post weird Bruce Campbell pictures, you just do it because he’s the King, motherfuckers. (WIMB)
Check out the new May theme and some recent entries at Blog Me A Tale! (BlogMeATale)
What the fuck is it about middle-aged women and Clay Aiken? He’s GAY, already! GAAAY! I will say to some degree of shame that my own mother is one of these freaks. She’s seen him in concert like, three times. Hand to God. (Celebslam)
But here is a woman even more terrifying than dear old ma when she hears Clay Aiken is coming to town. (QuizLaw)
Madonna swigs champagne straight from the bottle and molests Justin Timberlake to show everybody how so not 50 years old she is. (Yeeeah!)
That uppity Katie Holmes who thought she could work outside the home and escape the evil clutches of her cult leader husband got a one-way ticket to Scientology bootcamp. (IDLYITW)
ty Katie Holmes who thought she could work outside the home and escape the evil clutches of her cult leader husband got a one-way ticket to Scientology bootcamp.
You're kidding me? All joking aside...isn't what he's doing ever so slightly illegal? This is getting ridiculous.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 1, 2008 4:13 PM
Apropos of nothing listed above, but has anyone had a chance to play GTA4? Is it like heroin? Better? Listen, howsabout you let me borrow your PS3 as well as the game for the next six months? In return... uh, how about some pictures of my sister? Hahahahaa...
...ahem...
Seriously though, I will provide you with nude pictures of my 25 year-old sister. There's a fancy one where the light's all soft and she's sprawled out on a bearski...DON'T ASK ME WHERE I GOT THEM! I DID NOTHING WRONG THIS TIME GODDAMIT! NOTHING!
Do you want them or not? She's quite the looker...
Sidenote: I don't have any particular love for Katie Holmes, but maybe we should take up a side-mission and bust her ass outta that thar compound. I just got my ninja suit suit back from the cleaners....
Posted by: Skitimus Maximus at May 1, 2008 4:14 PM
Once again, I must point out that Chick-Fil-A, while possibly ran by God-crazed racists and lunatics, have managed to fuse heroin into fried chicken breasts. McDonald's is a pale imitation.
Those pics of The King make me really miss his Old Spice commercials. I especially hated when they started editing them. NEVER EDIT THE CHIN.
Chick-fil-A is the KING of the chicken sandwich. McNotRealFood only wishes that it could be half the awesome that is Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A is a national treasure and a thing of infinite beauty. There are many imitators of the almighty Chick-fil-A, but none will ever come close to the unmitigated awesome that is the Chick-fil-A. They are even capable of making grilled, un-marinated chicken taste superb. McWhatever makes "sandwiches" that are better classified as high school cafeteria mystery meat.
To summarize: Chick-fil-A = The only and best chicken sandwich.
Other places: Shoddy imitations of the almighty Chick-fil-A.
Posted by: Melody at May 1, 2008 4:22 PM
Chez can diss Can't Buy Me Love if he wants to, but I still love that movie.
Posted by: Todd at May 1, 2008 4:24 PM
I don't get why people feel so effing sorry for Katie Holmes. To the best of my knowledge she's not actually retarded, blind, or deaf, so it's not like she could possibly have been ignorant of Tom Cruise's exponentially escalating level of crazy. She chose to not only get involved with but to marry that tool shed. If it turns out she's been drugged either without her knowledge or against her will for the past few years, I might be able to muster up some pity. Otherwise, boo hoo.
"Chick-Fil-A, while possibly ran by God-crazed racists and lunatics..."
Okay, I can forgive them for being God-crazed lunatics, especially because they have a reputation of being good to their employees (regardless of their faith--- *cue sarcastic gasp*)...but racist??? Say it ain't so, Vermillion! Not my beloved Chick-Fil-A.
Did something happen that I didn't hear about? Discrimination, embarrassing public statements, etc? I must know, as Chick-Fil-A holds a large, warm, squishy place in this Southern girl's heart. Please fill me in.
...please?
Posted by: ShinyKate at May 1, 2008 4:35 PM
Skitt...you worry me sometimes.
Buuuut....you say she's a looker? Let me see what I can work up...
I have to vehemently agree...Chick-fil-A = awesomeness given food form, with a sprinkling of kick-ass on top, just to stick it to those other chicken sandwiches.
Sarina...I don't think anybody could've predicted that level of crazy. This is the equivalent of not feeling sorry for the battered housewife, just because she didn't know he would turn into a wife-beater when he got some alky-hall and a pot-belly and three screaming kids...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 1, 2008 4:38 PM
I am wearing a scarf right now, in fact. I love them and own more than probably any normal person should. But then, I am incredibly pale.
Of course, the north easy is going through quite the cold snap--record lows people. In my defense, however, they do not appear around my neck once it gets warm. I have no tolerance for people who are inappropriately dressed for the weather, and a scarf when it's in the mid-70s or higher is just ridiculous.
I also have no patience for fools wearing flip flops when it is cold. (I see far too much of that around campus.) And I have a hard time figuring out why, if it is cold enough that you need to be wearing jeans, how can it also be hot enough to wear a tank top?
I'm with the poster on SWPL: no sweatshirts with shorts, no performance vests (it's my arms that get cold first). Or any other mismatched combinations that defy temperature logic.
Posted by: tamatha at May 1, 2008 4:39 PM
I don't think anybody could've predicted that level of crazy. This is the equivalent of not feeling sorry for the battered housewife, just because she didn't know he would turn into a wife-beater when he got some alky-hall and a pot-belly and three screaming kids...
Shadows, you know I love you, but you've got to be kidding. First of all, if it ever came out that she or her daughter were being genuinely abused, I assure you I would feel sorry for her. However, what I was referring to is the fact that people always feel soooooo sorry for poor Katie Holmes because she's got this crazypants husband. Well, maybe it makes me even more of a heinous bitch than I already thought I was, but I just don't feel a lot of pity for her because he was crazy before she even got involved with him. He's been a Scientologist and a known control freak for ages, and the couch jumping and the totally deranged public insanity set in well before she married him. Seriously, unless she's actually mentally delayed, she can't be too shocked that he's all Weirdy McGee, Lord of the Idiots.
Sarina - If I ever have the opportunity to steal another chimpanzee, I'm so going to give it that name...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 1, 2008 4:56 PM
Madonna has officially turned into that crazy aunt (everyone has one) who still thinks she's in her 20s and the lipstick bleeds up into her skin above her lip and the too-short skirt rides up revealing more thigh than anyone over 25 should be showing and everyone just gets embarrassed when she's in the room.
Posted by: PaddyDog at May 1, 2008 4:58 PM
Major props for the Loverboy love. How can you not love Kate Jackson? Carrie Fisher, hot Kirstie McAllie, and Barbara Carrera giving hot, steamy, mature-woman love to scrawny Patrick Dempsey? The inimitable Elizabeth Daily? Vic Fucking Tayback! What's not to love? I could watch that movie right now, dammit.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 1, 2008 5:00 PM
Hah...put in my place. That is true, Sarina...and I'm normally a firm proponent in the "you dug your own hole" policy of treating people. But after some of the things I heard and read about these Scientology camps (like people being locked in meat lockers for days at a time for minor infractions)...my mind instantly switched sides to worry about her health and the health of little Hubbard Jr.
Maybe I should just let things work out...but not everyone is as capable as us at seeing the obvious that's in front of our faces, and sometimes I worry about the state of humankind if this is any indication of how things can progress. Yes, his insanities and control habits were on display, but what woman doesn't think that they'll change their man for the better once they're married?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 1, 2008 5:05 PM
Sarina- The problem is that by the time of the couch jumping it was too late. In fact, by the time her "new best friend" (I can't remember her name) who just happened to be a Scientologist and went everywhere Katie went, appeared on the scene it was too late.
I also think that it is understandable that when someone as big as a star as Tom Cruise showed interest in her, especially since she admitted to having a crush on him when she was younger, she was probably so flattered, that she was blinded to the crazyness--especially if it was introduced slowly. There's a reason he picked someone so much younger than himself. And she may not have heard the rumours of his control-freaky-ness.
And honey, if you think he was going to let her get away from him once she was preggers with his child (which was before they got hitched), you are, well, just wrong. He had a plan, he put it into effect, and she was a goner from the word go. That is what this Scientology crap is all about.
So, that is why I feel sorry for her. She is trapped, probably thoroughly brainwashed, and ain't never getting free. She probably has Stockholm Syndrome.
Posted by: tamatha at May 1, 2008 5:08 PM
what woman doesn't think that they'll change their man for the better once they're married?
If I were to ever convey that mentality, I'd want my friends to kick me in the crotch.
As for Katie Holmes...I just couldn't care less. There's no way she was completely in the dark about his mania when she married him, and whatever she may see in his behavior now is up to her to decide if it's grounds for separation. Not my marriage, so I don't care.
They made a very pretty baby though.
Posted by: Julie at May 1, 2008 5:12 PM
I'm kinda with Chez on this one, I can't stand the men in romantic comedies. This is why I like action movies, I'd rather have slightly emotionally retarded men who have to be reminded to take me out to dinner but are confident and all than some dip that writes original poetry and can't be bothered to ask me out till he thinks he's "lost" me. Just a pet peeve.
My mom frequently complains about living in a youth obsessed culture and how, as a woman of 47 who is attractive for her age, she has become damn near invisible as she has gotten older. Still, she doesn't tart herself up and molest my or my brother's college aged friends to deal with it. Madonna could learn from that.
Skittimus I have spent a good six hours (hey, I have to work!) playing GTA4, and I have to tell you...it's glorious. I've run over so many people, I lost count. Seriously, it's fucking awesome. However, the XBox is not mine, so I'm trying to work my way around the controls.
No, I don't want any pics of your sister...what else you got?
Sarina,I agree. I have no idea why people are saying this Free Katie crap. She's 30 years old; she's not some kid that Tom pedophiled off the street. She hooked one of the most desirable (well, formerly) men in the world. Hell, with that kind of money and power Tom has, I wouldn't want to be free, either!
Posted by: Brie at May 1, 2008 5:16 PM
I especially enjoyed the part in the trailer when "douchebag" flashed after Dick Cheney's quote...and then "Dick" flashed when the dude was being, uh, pruned.
Posted by: Geetch at May 1, 2008 5:16 PM
what woman doesn't think that they'll change their man for the better once they're married?
Sarcasm not properly conveyed on the interwebs...I also believe that women who think this way need to be kicked in the crotch...repeatedly. Maybe a punch in the left boob for good measure.
She hooked one of the most desirable (well, formerly) men in the world. Hell, with that kind of money and power Tom has, I wouldn't want to be free, either!
It's the fringe benefits that'll be the death of her.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 1, 2008 5:23 PM
Shit Genny (also Rusty):
Your mother is just five years older than I am. Now I feel like the old crone pot calling the Madonna kettle black. Perhaps I'll just vacate the Pajiba sandbox for a while.
**Positions walking frame on floor and shuffles away looking for a bingo game**
Posted by: PaddyDog at May 1, 2008 5:26 PM
Hee Shadows, boob punching is mandatory for those women.
Posted by: Julie at May 1, 2008 5:31 PM
Personally, I don't think Patrick Dempsey was as fug as the article read. Sure, he was an awkward teenager, but he grew up to look fairly handsome. He looked pretty cute in With Honors. Maybe it was the smoking that made him sexy.
Posted by: Brie at May 1, 2008 5:38 PM
Now Paddy, do you act like that aunt? No, I didn't think so. You call that kettle, it needs a little class.
As for cronehood, you and Rusty's mom and everybody:
What did Jon Spencer say about this?
Look at me! WHAT DID JON SPENCER SAY?
That's right.
Am I gonna have to put the Tilly link in again? Seen Sean Young lately? Older than both of you.
Thanks for the sentiment, but the way to talk a woman off a ledge is not to tell her to compare herself to Sean Young. She may look hot, but she makes Skittimus and PissBoy look perfectly sane with her very own level of crazy
Posted by: PaddyDog at May 1, 2008 5:49 PM
Paddy, I'd swipe in Michelle Pfieffer for Sean Young.
Posted by: Julie at May 1, 2008 5:53 PM
Socalled, I could go for a pizza right now. Extra anchovies, if you know what I mean.
When I think of Patrick Dempsey, I think of Can't Buy Me Love, which is yet another 1980s cinematic tribute to the catalog of "Prostitution! Yay!" masterpieces (a genre for which Mr. Dempsey had a particular fondness). Bonus: Seth Green is tiny, hilarious, and unfathomably young in that movie.
Also, if we're going to hold a contest for hottest piece of ass over age 50, I respectfully submit Helen Mirren. I might be willing to sacrifice my cat to underworld overlords in order to look like her when I'm 62.
Brie - no sweat, I'll just hang onto my photos. I DID NOTHING WRONG! What else have I got here? Take your pick:
McDonalds Bucks from '87 (still good?). Um... looks like a book on pickling - there's some chicken blood on it - I think it's chicken blood - but you can still make out most of the pages... Oh! Here's a Crown Royal bag with at least two dozen wisdom teeth in it - that's got an interesting story behing it... Uh... here's Minimus' glass-eye from when he got that terrible infection and I hadda do some makeshift surgery (grapefruit spoons are AWESOME!). It's been used less than two weeks - every time I sneezed, the friggin' thing'd shoot out and... OMIGOD! Here's something you might enjoy - a pair of Bea Arthur's pantyhose worn in the third season of "Golden Girls" - authentic too! I had her sign 'em (restraining order be damned)! They smell like... I dunno, like Avon stuff I guess... That and Bea Arthur sweat...
Interested?
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 1, 2008 6:05 PM
Helen Mirren is ungodly hot. I would also be willing to sacrifice Sarina's cat to look like that at 62.
Posted by: Julie at May 1, 2008 6:05 PM
Is it just me, or does the Hillary/Obama combo look like Tim Meadows?
Posted by: Alderene at May 1, 2008 6:09 PM
Hey! Julie, what did Simon ever do to you? Get your own unsuspecting sacrificial offering!
Heeee. And sigh. FINE. I'll sacrifice my dog Rizzo, but I won't be happy about it.
Posted by: Julie at May 1, 2008 6:16 PM
Oh I ain't talkin crazy or not (and the girl's just misunderstood, I tell ya), I'm just sayin looking at her in Entertainment Weekly a few months ago SHAAAAAMES these youngins.
Courtney Love takes all comes in the crazy game anyway. And utterly balanced and sane gets rather dull.
For further examples, the cover of "More" magazine more often delivers a monthly "Go-LLY". Sigourney Weaver looked unreal last year.
Paddy, I have to agree with Jay. You're allowed to call Madonna out for trying to act like a trashy 20 year old and only succeeding in acting like a creepy 50 year old as long as you don't do the same. I am CONSTANTLY lecturing my mother on how she is not overweight, yes she should buy and wear the cute clothing and she IS still allowed to go out and have fun. I mean, I don't want Dina Lohan for a mom, but life doesn't end after 35.
At least it better not, otherwise I've got a lot of shit to get done in the next 14 years.
Did something happen that I didn't hear about? Discrimination, embarrassing public statements, etc? I must know, as Chick-Fil-A holds a large, warm, squishy place in this Southern girl's heart. Please fill me in.
It is only so much innuendo, like the rumor that the circled K on Skippy's Peanut Butter meant they supported the Ku Klux Klan (I really did hear this).
It could be because, as an African American, it doesn't look good for me to laud the glories of fried chicken in any form. Even one as delicious as theirs. Seriously, that whole "closed on Sunday" deal is working, because those sandwiches are kissed by the Virgin Mary herself.
Also, if we're going to hold a contest for hottest piece of ass over age 50, I respectfully submit Helen Mirren. I might be willing to sacrifice my cat to underworld overlords in order to look like her when I'm 62.
How hot is she? I had filthy thoughts about Queen Elizabeth because of her. It wasn't right, not at all.
Does anyone else have problems linking from Pajiba to Deus Ex Malcontent? My browser freezes every single time and I have to a control-alt-delete. I never have problems with the other links.
Posted by: PaddyDog at May 1, 2008 6:43 PM
Mmmmm....Helen Mirren...
Although, if we're just submitting older women...I humbly submit Cate Blanchett. Yeah, she's only 39 (or 40, dunno)...but she's older than me...and I would worship at her feet everyday.
a pair of Bea Arthur's pantyhose worn in the third season of "Golden Girls" - authentic too! I had her sign 'em (restraining order be damned)! They smell like... I dunno, like Avon stuff I guess... That and Bea Arthur sweat...
Skittimus Maximus...I threw up a little in my mouth...just wanted you to know.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 1, 2008 6:53 PM
"It could be because, as an African American, it doesn't look good for me to laud the glories of fried chicken in any form."
Pshaw, Vermillion! I understand where you're coming from, but I'm the whitest white girl who ever blinded someone with the glare off her stomach, and I would marry a fried chicken if I could be trusted to not make myself a widow. Fried chicken is just good food, and dare I say it, transcends considerations of racial stereotypes, Chic-Fil-A especially. (There's actually one in the food court at my school and let me just say, I don't drink beer, so I'm pretty sure I know where my freshman five came from.)
Posted by: Geetch at May 1, 2008 7:05 PM
Vermillion, I grew up in a heavily black area as a kid (there were years in elementary school when I was the only white girl in my class, and DAMN was I white) and when I moved to an area at the opposite end of the spectrum it took me a whole year before I got that fried chicken and watermelon jokes were supposed to be racist. I concur with Geetch, good food is just good food. And I fucking love fried chicken and watermelon. There will be a Chik-Fil-A nuggets platter at my wedding.
You know one of the secrets of the Chik-Fil-A sandwich? They butter the bun before they put the chicken on. God, I love the south, I cannot wait to get home and have another one of those sandwiches.
I've never eaten at Chik-Fil-A. We don't have them. I love good fried chicken, but there are no decent fried chicken places up here. You have to make it yourself for it to be any good, and that's like work. I don't believe in work.
Yeah, I agree that the sandwiches are worth it, just mentioning the crazy rumors that get floated around.
You know one of the secrets of the Chik-Fil-A sandwich? They butter the bun before they put the chicken on.
Oh God, don't remind me. I am trying to cut down on fried foods. Although, if I only eat them and no other fried foods, then it would still count as "cutting down," right?
All of you confused by our rambling: get below the Mason-Dixon line and go to a REAL Chick-fil-A, none of that northern mall crap. Buy the sandwich. Taste fried gold. Then come back and thank us.
Skitt, I'm afraid to ask how you own Bea Arthur's pantyhose...I just know I don't want 'em.
I will take that Crown Royal bag.
Keep the teeth, though.
Posted by: Brie at May 1, 2008 10:15 PM
*sniff*
i hear rumors of chick-fil-a out our way, but no where close to me.
i swear, when i travel south, that's the first thing i hit. holy shit, i miss those!!
and folks, i'll be 49 come october, and i call myself bionic because of the number of parts i've had to have fixed or replaced. still, i spike and color my hair, have a collection of rather naughty tee shirts and VS, and as soon as i recover from this knee and lose the weight, i'm takin' up the motorcycle.
and yeah, i've already been dubbed the crazy one at physical therapy.
Posted by: bionic bunny at May 1, 2008 10:21 PM
Huh. I've never had the intense Chick love. I go to Zaxby's. Guess I'm alone in that. I suppose we're all under the umbrella of bird love. Outside of restaurants, Publix has the best grocery store fried chicken. But it's not just "good grocery store chicken", it's simply good. Double battered. Leaves Kroger standin' with the egg moustache.
First- Katie Holmes. At first, I thought she deserved it. I got the whole 'it's TOM CRUISE fan-girl/guy squeal'. I mean, you can't buy that kind of career boost. I figure, she was thinking, we'll go out for a while, I'll get noticed and get out. Whatev, a girls gotta eat and I could overlook the shortness and messiah complex for a while myself.
Then he gets all Jumpy McCouch Man and drags her ass out on Oprah. That's when I thought, 'girl got herself in some trouble. Eh, still time to get out.' Then she fell pregnant. And then she got fucked.
Now, she's not goin' nowhere. And from what I've read, the scrientologist can be scary.
And now that I look back on it, I thought about this way too goddamn much. I have too much free time and way too many thoughts. I need to get an addiction or something to occupy my time.
Second- Patrick Dempsey will never be hotter than he was in Can't Buy Me Love. Yum!
Posted by: TWoP Fan at May 1, 2008 11:34 PM
fuck all this chicken and dempsey talk. let's steer the ship back to where it should be:
bruce fucking campbell.
"my name is bruce" opens sometime somewhere. check youtube for the trailer. it will rock your world.
Posted by: idiot dentist at May 1, 2008 11:47 PM
"Weirdy McGee, Lord of the Idiots"
I hope you're not implying we're of any relation. Lord help me, I will learn to ride a unicycle and go zombie on your ass.
Posted by: SpazzyMcGee at May 1, 2008 11:49 PM
Idiot dentist...WORD. Bruce Campbell is the MAN.
Though now I am drunk and I want fried chicken. Damn it.
Posted by: Julie at May 2, 2008 12:39 AM
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"Hail to the King, baby"
ty Katie Holmes who thought she could work outside the home and escape the evil clutches of her cult leader husband got a one-way ticket to Scientology bootcamp.
You're kidding me? All joking aside...isn't what he's doing ever so slightly illegal? This is getting ridiculous.