Paula Abdul once again blows her lines on “American Idol.” Or was that, Paula Abdul once again does lines of blow before “American Idol?” I guess it’s a little of column A and a little of column B. (The Blemish)
That is, that I brought it to her attention, I didn't actually make it...I'm sad to say.
But hell, I was called an Eloquent!
Besides, I already said I follow Cute Overload and Disapproving Rabbits. If you read Unshelved you'll know we sometimes need all the cute'n'funny we can get (I suppose it would just read as a bad job story rather than insider humor, which is too bad).
I cannot put a dollar value on the amount I would spend to watch Boll and Bay beat the crap out of each other.
It would be the world's greatest slap fight.
Oh my GOD Twig...that would be. And I bet they both cry like little babies while doing so.
Posted by: Julie at April 30, 2008 4:27 PM
too bad conan already discussed the donaldson/diamond connection last night on his show.
Posted by: Leah at April 30, 2008 4:29 PM
I thought to myself, "No, even Uwe Boll cannot make Michael Bay look good by comparison." Then I read Bay's barely coherent reply/rant and saw that I was right.
Posted by: Todd at April 30, 2008 4:38 PM
And I bet they both cry like little babies while doing so.
Eating brocolli gives me the weirdest hallucinogenic dreams ever. Even my husband noticed the connection. We call them "brocolli dreams" now. Oh, and some of those pictures on Cracked are really disturbing.
Posted by: BWeaves at April 30, 2008 5:25 PM
Phew! For a horrible second I thought that was a link to me eating a sack of White Castles.
In an unrealted comment, I could look at that squirrel picture all day.
Posted by: PaddyDog at April 30, 2008 5:41 PM
The pictures on Cracked are fucking creepy.
I am not ashamed to also love Cute Overload, Jay. It gets me through the hard times ;)
Posted by: tt_marie at April 30, 2008 5:54 PM
The Aussies are freaked by chair sniffing? They are the guys who invited Puppetry of Penis! Dudes who played with their cobs so much in public they took the show on the road. Almost every Aussie I've met has been dirty, crude and a complete perv. I call bullshit on this story.
Posted by: grinder at April 30, 2008 5:56 PM
Why is it that when I saw that squirrel pic, I immediately pondered what depraved yet hilarious sex talk it would inspire in Julie and Skitt?
I am sorry, but if I have to pick, I am going with Michael Bay. Unless I missed something, he isn't the one saying his movies are works of genius. In fact, he was willing to poke fun at himself in that phone commercial! It seems like Bay has a firm grasp on reality and his place in moviedom. So what if he makes big, dumb, explosion-filled movies? At least he realizes that they are big and dumb, and doesn't try to convince anyone otherwise.
I cannot put a dollar value on the amount I would spend to watch Boll and Bay beat the crap out of each other.
It would be the world's greatest slap fight.
I'm expecting Bay to say "AWESOME" after each slap and I will except nothing less.
Posted by: jM at April 30, 2008 6:04 PM
That squirrel picture is mesmerizing... I... Wait, what was I posting for?
Oh yeah, Grinder, we Aussies are not all crude and perverted! How dare you!
/continues staring at squirrel balls
Posted by: Whiny Dancer at April 30, 2008 6:13 PM
Hee. Vermillion my darling, I'm sorry I didn't live up to your expectations today, but I'm way too sick for squirrel balls. :p
Posted by: Julie at April 30, 2008 6:15 PM
Is that squirrel picture real? IS IT?! I'd like, no... I need to have somebody make me a hood ornament outta that. NOW!
I'd gargle both B&B for someone to cast me a silver squirrel with diamon... NO! With laser eyes that shoot friggin' laser beams at anyone who scoffs at my choice in hood decor... Seriously... Can anyone make this happen? I want a goddamed silver (like the heavy, skull crushin' kind) sculpture of that well-hung rodent that shoots laser beams outta it's eyes, dispenses warm peanut butter from its rear end and, AND that has a removable tail with a friggin' sweet-ass sawtooth demon blade tucked inside! OMYGODINEEDTHISDONE!
I need to be alone for a little bit, please
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at April 30, 2008 6:17 PM
I am SO going to have a couple of all-beef chili cheesedogs for dinner tonight. I will relish every bite and think of Madonna the whole time.
Posted by: june at April 30, 2008 6:18 PM
That's the Fark.com squirrel.... I'm surprised there aren't any Farkers here.
Posted by: nancy at April 30, 2008 6:19 PM
Madonna's trainer reveals the starvation diet that's been keeping Madonna at her veiny and wiry best.
Oh...Vermillion...are you implying Julie and Skittimus have something going on the side? Cuz...you may be my lord and prophet and direct connection to the Holy Godtopus...but I'll cut a bitch, Skitt...don't think I won't.
Haha...awesome, Jay...looking good, man.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 1, 2008 12:06 AM
But I do have to admit that I'd also like a hood ornament of that squirrel...grumble, grumble...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 1, 2008 12:08 AM
Oh hell. I used to do 2 hours of gym time and a full time job on 500 cals a day. Madonna is a pussy.
Posted by: Kris at May 1, 2008 1:27 AM
Bay vs. Boll. Whoever loses, we win.
Posted by: Master Mahan at May 1, 2008 4:11 AM
I actually have to work today so I can't read through the links. Boo hiss.
I will say however that the squirrel picture used with today's PL was my ex's facebook photo for about 6 months. You guys just scared the crap out of me.
Seriously, my nightmare is people on my facebook clicking on the Pajiba group, visiting this site and then realising that I'm even more of an unholy freak than they thought I was. Or, in the case of the ex Mr TheOdd reading what I've said about them not that I've said anything bad about anyone. Hi guys, if you're reading - I love you all.
Hey, I'm a pretty big jerk, but I'm not that big of a jerk.
I have all the grace and charm of a CHUD so I don't really have any ground to stand on, either.
Posted by: twig at May 1, 2008 8:53 AM
If I never read the words "Honey Bunches of Oats" again I will die a happy woman.
Posted by: Nicole at May 1, 2008 9:04 AM
Honey Bunches of Oats? What's wrong wit Honey Bunches of Oats? Don't you like Honey Bunches of Oats, Nicole? Why don't you like Honey Bunches of Oats?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 1, 2008 9:32 AM
It is spelt Hilary Duff not Hillary Duff.
She is incredibly hot, and the best thing is, I met this year and she is just as beautiful in person.
Posted by: Returnofthesmith at May 1, 2008 10:20 AM
I am throwing all of my bad moviemaker support to Michael Bay, the man who brought us cinematic greatness like The Rock, Bad Boys, and well, lets see...Not Armageddon, umm what else...Not Pearl Harbor. Maybe Bay Boys II? Wait, he is already making the sequel to Transformers? What? I don't understand. He is remaking The Birds? Hitchcock? What?!?!?!?! And Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street?
I am so confused. My brain is waving the white flag. I have no words.
Posted by: Melody at May 1, 2008 10:54 AM
SoD, I will come down there and cut you. Don't think just because I'm cute I can't throw down; just let me take my earrings off first. This has not been a good week for Pajiba Nicole.
*I have a spare set of keys for the MT
Posted by: Nicole at May 1, 2008 10:57 AM
I would also like to take an opportunity to express my deep hatred for a man named Neil Diamond. I hate Mr. Diamond. He makes my ears bleed. I develop a very strange twitch to the opening notes of "Kentucky Woman". I see red and step outside of my consciousness. He is the voice of Satan himself. His music is directly linked to bouts of insanity.
In short, I hate Neil Diamond.
Posted by: Melody at May 1, 2008 10:58 AM
My childhood best friend's mother has a velvet painting of Neil Diamond, which she still has hanging in their guest room. It's creepy as hell trying to sleep in that room with a bedazzled velveteen Neil Diamond leering at you.
You know, with my frequent karaoke...ing lately my wishlist has been dwindling and I've been wondering what to sing next (and the Pulp songs are suspiciously non-functioning there). I haven't done "Brother Love" in years, but I've never done "Holly Holy". Nothing seems to impress these kids anyway ("This Is Hardcore" sure didn't. Killed in the Northwest though), but the guys running it seem to like my tastes.
That is to say: Neil is my mensch. You bet I saw him live. Still have the coffee cup but OH! My shirt! A bunch of shirts that didn't fit on a shelf or in a drawer were in a bag when I came home from college. Sort of the excess bullpen. One day that bag went missing. The most likely explanation is that my mom thought it was stuff to donate, as it certainly looked like it, though had I not hidden it well enough? So there was a random assortment of t-shirts over the past 8 years or so, and the one with Neil on the back with a guitar astride a giant Harley with big saddlebags all set to travel with "ON THE ROAD" on top and "DIAMOND" on the bottom in chrome letters......WAS GONE. There was a little HD-like logo of his name on the left breast too.
Plus I lost all those 91 Morrissey shirts that were undershirt quality (some people don't realize that U2 bringing in Beefy-T's on ZOO TV set off a revolution in quality) that a friend was going to buy. He likes those thin destructible shirts. "Yeah, I got a bunch of 'em in a bag!" That's how I discovered the tragedy. It was a bit like Ralphie after the Bumpass hound invasion as I took inventory and found what was missing. "GONE! ALL GONE!" The survivors? And I do miss my "Rid Of Me" shirts and the Man Or Astro-Man? Intergalactic Bowling League.
I cannot put a dollar value on the amount I would spend to watch Boll and Bay beat the crap out of each other.
It would be the world's greatest slap fight.