free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 04/29/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Litely Salted’s Pajiba Love

The arrival of the comedy messiah is now imminent. (Comedy Central Insider)

Guess which celebrity father-daughter combo (whose name doesn’t end in “impson”) is even creepier than Miley and Billy Ray? (WIMB)

Tom Cruise lures Oprah up to the top of a mountain; plots to push her off the cliff. (Agent Bedhead)

Subway’s new commercials insult Godzilla’s manhood. They should have just used Mothra, who from what I hear, is not surprisingly hung like a moth and probably would have been flattered by the attention. (QuizLaw)

This normally mild-mannered Minneapolis weatherman must have gotten cut off before he started announcing that he needed T.P. for his bunghole. (KSK)

So why didn’t Richard Quest get fired again? (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Jimi Hendrix’s legacy is about to take a whole new direction, thanks to a four decade old sex tape. Nice. (IDLYITW)

This review of R.E.M.’s new album “Accelerate” makes me want to check out an R.E.M. album for the the first time in at least a decade. (ASWOBA)

If Jesus were around today, I can tell you that he would have fucking hated cellphones. (PA Notes)

Remember Scarlett Johansson’s awesome singing in Lost in Translation? Well, now imagine a whole album of that! She might damn near outsell K Fed. (Yeeeah!)

If you’ve ever lived with a 20-something man, the idea of a babysitter actually doesn’t sound half bad, come to think about it. (atom films)

“Gilligan’s Planet” and other Sci-Fi TV show concepts which were robbed from us too early. (mental floss)

What’s even scarier than doing drugs or eating fast food for 30 days straight? The terrifying answer, after the jump.

Pajiba Love | April 29, 2008 | Comments (36)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Jimi Hendrix's legacy is about to take a whole new direction, thanks to a four decade old sex tape. Nice.

Damn; I read that as Jim Henson first. Now I can't get the images of man on muppet sex out of my mind!

Posted by: cockroach at April 29, 2008 3:36 PM

"Now I can't get the images of man on muppet sex out of my mind!"

Welcome to every day of my life.

Posted by: TK at April 29, 2008 3:46 PM

I have heard that Janice and Dr. Teeth found some interesting uses for Animal's chains...

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 3:48 PM

I have heard that Janice and Dr. Teeth found some interesting uses for Animal's chains...

Hey...how'd you find my secret stash?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 29, 2008 4:14 PM

I once worked with a guy whose girlfriend had a Gonzo fetish. Like, for real. She was also reallllllllllly dumb, and never mastered the art of calling his direct line, but would still start right in with the pervy Muppet crap in the unsuspecting ear of whichever poor unfortunate soul happened to answer the phone. And that was only about #74 on the list of Shit Seriously Wrong With Her.

Posted by: Sarina at April 29, 2008 4:18 PM

Hey Cockroach. Great way to sneak the word "first" into your post.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 29, 2008 4:24 PM

You need a better hiding place than hanging on the wall next to your bed, Shadows. :)

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 4:28 PM

BWeaves: Hey Cockroach. Great way to sneak the word "first" into your post.

I assure you, there was no sneaking; it was completely unintentional. I am not the kind of person that types out FIRST!* in caps and bold.


*For demonstration purposes only

Posted by: cockroach at April 29, 2008 4:30 PM

So, Scarlett just needs to sell 3 albums to outsell K.Fed right?

Posted by: Melody at April 29, 2008 4:33 PM

So, Scarlett just needs to sell 3 albums to outsell K.Fed right?

Is that including the 3 he bought himself?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 29, 2008 4:40 PM

Ha!

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 4:44 PM

Is that including the 3 he bought himself?

Of course. Did you hear anything from his album? My morning radio show used it as part of their segment "Audio from Hell".

It was apt to say the least.

Posted by: Melody at April 29, 2008 4:47 PM

Somedays I get really sad that I'm not like other girls, and have a hard time getting along with female friends. Then I catch a commercial for the Hills, and am enormously glad that I share a personality with my father, Alan Greenspan, and Napoleon. (True)

Oh, Scarlett, let me love you. I have a completely unfounded fondness for you and your husky voice and you just keep making me look like a fool. I still won't buy your album, I'm just going to go watch Ghost World again. I always liked Rebecca better than Enid.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at April 29, 2008 5:01 PM

Genny (also Rusty)--

You share one personality between the four of you? Good thing there appears to be enough to go around :)

Posted by: frumpiefox at April 29, 2008 5:13 PM

The Hills clip made me think of last week when I tried watching Gossip Girl. I decided that I shouldn't hate a show without watching it first. I got about 2 minutes in when I started twitching. After about 5 minutes, I was sobbing for humanity. After 7 minutes, I was reaching for a spoon so I could gouge out my eyes. Luckily, I found the remote first.

Posted by: brenia at April 29, 2008 5:29 PM

r.e.m. is one of the bands whose CD i will buy "blind" the day it's released. i just love them.

Posted by: kelley at April 29, 2008 5:57 PM

frumpiefox, I just tried to figure out a better way to phrase that and can't, so I'm gonna leave it be. And let me tell you, it's a lot easier to share with one of us dead ; )

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at April 29, 2008 6:10 PM

As I said Friday night, that was a wonderful episode of The Soup.

I'm almost tempted to read the Hills girls' new Rolling Stone cover story.

Almost.


"Shit seriously wrong with her" sounds like a very good description. And you're saying that's a ranking of 74? There's 73 wronger things?

Posted by: Jay at April 29, 2008 6:13 PM

I love The Hills.

I don't care. I watch what I want.

And I DVR every new episode. So SOMETIMES I watch episodes I've already watched.

IN FACT, SCREW ALL OF YOU. I'm going home to watch it now because I missed last night's! SUCK IT, FOOLS.

Posted by: David at April 29, 2008 6:39 PM

Genny (aka Rusty):

Despite the fact that we love our commas in Ireland, had you left out the last one, it might not look quite so much as if Alan Greenspan is actually your father. I'm assuming you wouldn't be complaining about student loans if that were actually the case.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 29, 2008 7:07 PM

Damnit, I am totally off my game tonight. Thank you, Paddy, I never remember whether or not to put a comma before the final "and". You are right, it would be clearer had I not put in that comma. You are also correct in assuming that my father is not Alan Greenspan.

I'm just gonna revoke my keyboard rights for the rest of the evening before I embarrass myself again.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at April 29, 2008 7:16 PM

Dammit twice Genny (also Rusty):

I was hoping you were a little Greenspanlette and the rest of us could mooch off of you for the rest of our lives.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 29, 2008 7:35 PM

It's completely acceptable to put a comma after the "and". It's called an Oxford (or serial) comma, and it's just as correct as leaving out the last comma. It's just a style preference. Rock the Oxford comma if that's how you roll.
P.S. David, I also watch The Hills. And Gossip Girl. And Supernatural. I refuse to feel bad about any of it! Enjoy last night's episode; you'll totally be wondering what drugs Audrina is on, because she's being so weird.

Posted by: Lannie at April 29, 2008 8:57 PM

I meant before the "and". You know what I mean.

Posted by: Lannie at April 29, 2008 8:59 PM

Oh is that what an Oxford comma is.

Stacey, man, they put "Supernatural" with those other shows. You okay with that?

In addition to "Accelerate" (still don't get the "I'm Gonna DJ" non-love going around), "Momofuku" gave me a very similar feeling, and "Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!", while it doesn't go off like a bomb like "Abattoir Blues" has some really good sleepers. The middle aged are fuckin shit up this year!

Plus I just read that Nick Cave and Warren Ellis are scoring again for "The Road" starring Viggo Mortensen. I assume there was news of that movie here that I missed, but that sounds like an awfully good team with John Hillcoat directing too. You folks saw "The Proposition", yes? The John Hurt Yosemite Sam/Jigglebilly alone...

Posted by: Jay at April 29, 2008 9:26 PM

What? No mention of "The Bionic Stooges"???

Posted by: Case at April 29, 2008 9:30 PM

That guy in the Babysitter film was pure evil. A little genius mixed in maybe, but still pure evil.

Posted by: Vermillion at April 29, 2008 10:16 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZO88GLdJfs

As Michael Ironside as Jester said: Jesus Christ!

And the first entry is why I'll never fully embrace Will Arnett. I mean, he's a jerk on the show I don't watch, he's a jerk on the show I dowatch, BUT most importantly he's that jerk Amy Poehler's married to (See also: "Dougie"). And he was also married to Penelope Ann Miller. Hell, why not go bag Michelle Meyrink while you're at it, you too-tall motherfucker!

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he's a nice guy and blah blah blah.

Posted by: Jay at April 29, 2008 10:18 PM

What is it about Pajiba and grammar discussions? I heard Lynne Truss is going to write a book about it. It will be called "Eats, Runs Over With The Murder Tank, And Leaves."

Posted by: Kris at April 29, 2008 11:06 PM

No, I'm totally not cool with Superntual being lumped in with "Gossip Girls" and "the Hills." I'm not saying you shouldn't watch those last two; but you should feel slight shame for it. And that's OK. "Supernatural" however, is 100% unabashed quality programming.

Posted by: Stacey at April 30, 2008 8:59 AM

Lannie:

You are of course correct. I wasn't suggesting use of the second comma was wrong, but that use of the second comma could give rise to a misunderstanding as to meaning due to the fact that it is not frequently used.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 30, 2008 10:34 AM

I saw them on "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m",too.Maybe they want make more new friends.You can contact them on that site.

Posted by: Kate at April 30, 2008 10:35 AM

Pleeeease don't go out and get R.E.M.'s new album. Just listen to the stuff you already own, because the new album sounds exactly the same. Hello, R.E.M.? Have you ever heard of progression! Uch!

Posted by: Lindzee at April 30, 2008 11:31 AM

I think Mothra is female. She gives birth to twin larvae "Mothra vs. Godzilla." I don't know why I feel the need to correct anyone on this matter.

Posted by: kaob at April 30, 2008 2:26 PM

Also my mothra plushy has no male genitalia.

Posted by: kaob at April 30, 2008 2:29 PM

One thing's for absolute certain about the Arnett/Poehler baby:

It will be creepy-looking.

Posted by: Case at April 30, 2008 3:05 PM