Meet The Fat Drunk Robin Hood
Remember Ashton Kutcher's more retarded than anything twitter pissing contest from last week? Well if it stinks like douche and famewhore, Spencer Pratt wants a piece of that pie. (Webster's)
Dan's latest TV review is up, for Hallmark Hall of Fame's "The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler." (THR)
This is sad. Slumdog kid Rubina Ali's father has been arrested for trying to sell her for $200,000. Can't somebody just like, I don't know, rescue her? (Celebitchy)
For anyone in the L.A. area, there's a Lebowskifest coming up next month, which is obviously a celebration of the film The Big Lebowski. Mmm... White Russians... (mental floss)
Here's a list of a bunch of dogs and cats who are richer than you are. If you're already down in the dumps because you lost your job and can't afford to eat, you might want to skip this one. (Bankling)
The bad news is that there's not going to be a sequel to My Bloody Valentine even though -- without spoilering anything -- they totally could make one. The good news is that the DVD is going to feature a shit ton of deleted scenes and alternate endings. Woo! (BloodyDisgusting)
Boozehound sent me this website late last week for this chick who paints pictures, presumably of herself, having sex with dead presidents. And you thought you had sex issues. (JustineLai)
KFC's new Kentucky Grilled Chicken has been taste-tested, and judging by the pictures it looks way too delicious to be good for you. They must be injecting it with grease or something if they're not frying it. (ImpulsiveBuy)
Here's some of Hollywood's biggest butterfaces' heads Photoshopped onto scantily-clad ladies, and the result is decidedly creepy as fucking hell. (HolyTaco)
Hooray for timewasters! Here's a Mutant Enemy/Joss Whedon crossword puzzle. (PuzzleHub)
Surprisingly, Kimmy Gibbler actually seems to have offered more sage advice and life lessons than you could shake a geekburger at. (Jezebel)
Here's a review of a story story collection, Don't Cry: Stories by Mary Gaitskill. (TheSecondPass)
I happened upon this trailer for a film called One-Eyed Monster that's coming straight to DVD next week and that for some reason Dustin wasn't interested in writing about. Maybe because it's a horror movie featuring the disembodied penis of Ron Jeremy? Hand to God. Sounds awesome, right? Also, weep for Amber Benson:
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