Pajiba Love 04/20/09

Meet The Fat Drunk Robin Hood

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (67)

Here’s a first look at Russel Crowe in the new Robin Hood movie. Eh. He’s no Kevin Costner, Cary Elwes or a cute, spunky animated fox. (FilmSchoolRejects)

Remember Ashton Kutcher’s more retarded than anything twitter pissing contest from last week? Well if it stinks like douche and famewhore, Spencer Pratt wants a piece of that pie. (Webster’s)

Dan’s latest TV review is up, for Hallmark Hall of Fame’s “The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler.” (THR)

This is sad. Slumdog kid Rubina Ali’s father has been arrested for trying to sell her for $200,000. Can’t somebody just like, I don’t know, rescue her? (Celebitchy)

For anyone in the L.A. area, there’s a Lebowskifest coming up next month, which is obviously a celebration of the film The Big Lebowski. Mmm… White Russians… (mental floss)

Here’s a list of a bunch of dogs and cats who are richer than you are. If you’re already down in the dumps because you lost your job and can’t afford to eat, you might want to skip this one. (Bankling)

The bad news is that there’s not going to be a sequel to My Bloody Valentine even though — without spoilering anything — they totally could make one. The good news is that the DVD is going to feature a shit ton of deleted scenes and alternate endings. Woo! (BloodyDisgusting)

Boozehound sent me this website late last week for this chick who paints pictures, presumably of herself, having sex with dead presidents. And you thought you had sex issues. (JustineLai)

KFC’s new Kentucky Grilled Chicken has been taste-tested, and judging by the pictures it looks way too delicious to be good for you. They must be injecting it with grease or something if they’re not frying it. (ImpulsiveBuy)

Here’s some of Hollywood’s biggest butterfaces’ heads Photoshopped onto scantily-clad ladies, and the result is decidedly creepy as fucking hell. (HolyTaco)

Hooray for timewasters! Here’s a Mutant Enemy/Joss Whedon crossword puzzle. (PuzzleHub)

Surprisingly, Kimmy Gibbler actually seems to have offered more sage advice and life lessons than you could shake a geekburger at. (Jezebel)

Here’s a review of a story story collection, Don’t Cry: Stories by Mary Gaitskill. (TheSecondPass)

I happened upon this trailer for a film called One-Eyed Monster that’s coming straight to DVD next week and that for some reason Dustin wasn’t interested in writing about. Maybe because it’s a horror movie featuring the disembodied penis of Ron Jeremy? Hand to God. Sounds awesome, right? Also, weep for Amber Benson:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

Follow @pajiba

← Music News 04/20/09 | Lost: Some Like It Hoth Recap →

Comments

Basically looks like Maximus put some more clothes on. Way to branch out, Scott and Crowe.

Posted by: Snath at April 20, 2009 1:02 PM

Wow. Robin Hood ate one too many stolen pies, I think.

And I thought he was playing the Sheriff? he would've been way better as the Sheriff. Though not as good as Alan Rickman, obviously.

Posted by: figgy at April 20, 2009 1:04 PM

Can’t somebody just like, I don’t know, rescue her?

Paging Angelina or Madonna to India, paging Angelina or Madonna to India. Please report to the foreign adoption tent. A duel will be held, to the winner goes the spoils. Er...the child.

Posted by: Cindy at April 20, 2009 1:04 PM

Doctor Bombay, Doctor Bombay, emergency, come right away..............

Posted by: slower lower at April 20, 2009 1:09 PM

Here’s some of Hollywood’s biggest butterfaces’ heads Photoshopped onto scantily-clad ladies

Wilford Brimley's body is banging! I bet his mustache would be all tickly.

Posted by: branded at April 20, 2009 1:16 PM

I love Bewitched - and Doctor Bombay.

Posted by: Cindy at April 20, 2009 1:17 PM

why did i look at the rich cat/dog list?
i feel like shooting myself in the head now.

somebody perk me up & say that dan will publish the 'lost' recap of last week's episode today...hope, hope.

Posted by: gem at April 20, 2009 1:17 PM

Justine Lai might be the weirdest person in the whole damned world. Also, Andrew Jackson(?) is into pegging. Who knew?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 20, 2009 1:17 PM

somebody perk me up & say that dan will publish the 'lost' recap of last week's episode today

Of course he will.

Posted by: Cindy at April 20, 2009 1:18 PM

He’s no Kevin Costner, Cary Elwes or a cute, spunky animated fox.

Crowe looks pretty damn good there, and the notion that he won't be 1000% better than Kevin Costner makes me giggle a bit. He can just use the accent from Master and Commander, and he'll automatically be better than Costner.

No one will ever best the fox, however.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 20, 2009 1:22 PM

So those paintings were...there. What is pegging? Why don't I know that?

/feels left out

Posted by: Julie at April 20, 2009 1:23 PM

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pegging

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 20, 2009 1:24 PM

Why should we listen to him?

Because unlike some otherRobin Hoods, he speaks with an English accent.

Posted by: figgy at April 20, 2009 1:24 PM

I don't know what it is either, Julie.

Class, who would like to share their knowledge of dirty sex acts with Lainey and Julie?

Posted by: Lainey at April 20, 2009 1:26 PM

I believe in this case pegging refers to the use of a strap-on dick.
But that Ron Jeremy this really can't compare to Zombie Strippers.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 20, 2009 1:27 PM

I know far better than to click on an Urban Dictionary link at work or school.

Posted by: Melody at April 20, 2009 1:28 PM

Thank you for running that pic. I loved the cartoon Robin Hood, along with most of the other Wonderful World of Disney movies from Sundays at 7. I think I still have a taped from TV copy of this somewhere

Posted by: Brian at April 20, 2009 1:32 PM

Pegging would consistent of a female utilizing a strap on dildo to penetrate a male in anal sex.

I'm just full of useful information.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at April 20, 2009 1:33 PM

Heh Melody, that's why I asked, I don't want to go to that link at work :p

Got it! Aaaaand I am disturbed. Not about pegging in general, if that's your thing then please get nice and buggered to your heart's content. I just don't want to picture Andrew Jackson in that scenario.

I had a crush on Robin Hood when I was a kid. The FOX version. I was an interesting child.

Posted by: Julie at April 20, 2009 1:34 PM

Thanks, everyone for that lovely visual.

Every time someone mentions Robin Hood, this always comes to mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lUjhEHlh7s

Posted by: Melody at April 20, 2009 1:39 PM

Robin Hood: Men in Tights is all I'll ever need.

Robin: Blinkin! What are you doing?

Blinkin: Guessing. I... guess no one's coming.

Posted by: jM at April 20, 2009 1:40 PM

Oh so we're ignoring the trailer of Ron Jeremy's Dick Goes Wild? Ok, fine, I can do that too. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go join a convent.

Posted by: Joker at April 20, 2009 1:45 PM

jM: hee! I love Blinkin.

"I CAN SEE!!"
:walks into tree:
"Nope. Maybe not."

Posted by: Julie at April 20, 2009 1:47 PM

Why is it that whenever I pop in for a casual posting it always turns 'round to bum sex? Can anyone explain? Seems to be a fixation. Especially with Julie and Lainey...

Posted by: Xtreme at April 20, 2009 1:49 PM

I looove that movie. As far as I'm concerned, there are no other Robin Hoods.

Posted by: figgy at April 20, 2009 1:49 PM

The Kentucky Grilled Chicken looks like it's been cooked in a panini grill. And you should assume that something weird has happened to it in the process. That's what fast food is all about.

I'm dying to see the dead president sex paintings, but it will have to wait until I'm at home tonight. That's good stuff!

Posted by: katy at April 20, 2009 1:51 PM

I always knew Little Ron had a mind of its own.

Posted by: admin at April 20, 2009 1:54 PM

1) Man, do I love Robin Hood when he's a fox. HOWEVER, my all-time favorite Disney forgotten-canon animal character is the girl squirrel from Sword and the Stone. I must have seen that at a weird age because I was in love with that squirrel. I was so pissed that Arthur didn't stay a squirrel and marry her. I am *amazed* that I did not grow up to be a furry.

And speaking of weird sex practices...

2)I hate that artist chick. The paintings suck. Her explanation for paintings suck. And if I want to get pegged (ladies, anyone willing?) it will not be by someone who looks as disinterested as her.

3)I wish I didn't bring up Kristen Bell and strapons last week because now I sense a theme in my comments.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at April 20, 2009 1:56 PM

Julie, Blinkin is just so silly, you can't help loving him.

Ahchoo: Hey, Blinkin!

Blinkin: Did you say "Abe Lincoln"?

Posted by: jM at April 20, 2009 1:59 PM

I didn't bring up pegging! I didn't even know what it was! I'm innocent! WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE BELIEVE ME??!!

Posted by: Julie at April 20, 2009 1:59 PM

Why are we weeping for Amber Benson? This movie looks great.

And Russell Crowe should never be Robin Hood. I like Robin Hood. Errol Flynn is Robin Hood, not Russell Crowe.

Posted by: Lucas at April 20, 2009 2:00 PM

Julie, it's not that we don't think you were innocent at some point, it's just that we don't really think you're innocent now. Fine, we'll believe that you've never been directly involved in any pegging. But you'll never convince us of your innocence...

Posted by: Xtreme at April 20, 2009 2:12 PM

I would have enjoyed that trailer more if it didn't show how half the cast was going to die. When I watch a movie about a disembodied killer wang, I want to be surprised, damn it.

Posted by: Geetch at April 20, 2009 2:13 PM

Julie, I am totally right there with you as far as crushing on the Fox version of Robin Hood. I used to take one of my mom's old negligées, wrap it around my head ala Maid Marion, and run around the neighborhood pretending to be wooed by a cartoon. I made Mother so proud.

Posted by: bibliophile at April 20, 2009 2:18 PM

Also, was Justine Lai spanked by Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions?

Posted by: Geetch at April 20, 2009 2:23 PM

Seriously, bibliophile, I know he's a cartoon fox, but he's just so handsome. Plus whoever does the voice is super charming.

The whole movie was so well cast, voice wise. I miss the days when you wouldn't spend half an animated movie trying to figure out who plays each character.

Posted by: Julie at April 20, 2009 2:29 PM

Oo da lolly, oo da lolly, golly what a day.

Posted by: slower lower at April 20, 2009 2:32 PM

What goes up...must come down...but not in Nottingham...

Posted by: Julie at April 20, 2009 2:33 PM

Julie, you are not alone. Fox Robin Hood was my first love. I had a towel with a hood when I was a toddler (no, I don't have any idea what the purpose of a towel with a hood is, but I had one). I used to put it on my head and pretend I was Fox Maid Marion. I made my little brother be Lady Cluck.

Posted by: s. pisaster at April 20, 2009 2:43 PM

Too late to be known as John the First, he's sure to be known as John the Worst...

A pox on the phony King of England!

Posted by: figgy at April 20, 2009 2:44 PM

I had a towel with a hood when I was a toddler (no, I don't have any idea what the purpose of a towel with a hood is, but I had one).

I had one of those! And its purpose was to make me awesome. I was the coolest naked superhero ever.

Posted by: jM at April 20, 2009 2:48 PM

What, no Bloody Valentine sequel? Those bastards!
No, wait, I didn't actually like it. Never mind....

Meh to the DVD, too. I can't get into the idea of a DVD I can only watch with special glasses on. I'm bound to lose them, and then where will I be?
(Unless the extras include naked 3D Jensen Ackles of course, then I'm so there).

Why is everybody talking about strap-on buttsex? Again?

Posted by: Tarn at April 20, 2009 2:50 PM

jM, you're the coolest naked superhero STILL.

Posted by: Julie at April 20, 2009 3:00 PM

My daughter and now my son both have a couple hood/towel combos. She has a lion, a bunny, and a bear, and he has a monster and a tiger. The monster one is so cute, it's blue with big teeth and a little spike on its head.

If anyone wants to see, here's my daughter in her bunny towel. It's a father's duty to share pictures of his kids, dammit.

Posted by: Snath at April 20, 2009 3:00 PM

Why is everybody talking about strap-on buttsex? Again?
Posted by: Tarn at April 20, 2009 2:50 PM

It's simple Tarn. We just can't help ourselves. It's a well documented fact that the majority of Pajibans are prone to over analyzing things, and we all know that you can't analize without anal, so it's just a natural progression of thought. Natural, that is, if you are slightly twisted mentally.

Posted by: Xtreme at April 20, 2009 3:03 PM

Re: Butterfaces...

The one with Shane McGowan looks strikingly similar to Amy Winehouse. You know, sans track marks, scabs, etc...

Posted by: Mattfactor at April 20, 2009 3:03 PM

RE: Butterfaces.

I just used the "yes to all" button. A couple were two-baggers though.

Posted by: admin at April 20, 2009 3:20 PM

Snath, that bunny towel picture could end wars and cure debilitating cynicism. SO. CUTE.

Posted by: Julie at April 20, 2009 3:21 PM

jM, you're the coolest naked superhero STILL.

YOU CAN SEE ME?! I thought it made me invisible, too.

Posted by: jM at April 20, 2009 3:25 PM

Snath, that picture of your daughter is adorable.

Posted by: rlr260 at April 20, 2009 3:42 PM

Oh my, your daughter is so cute.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at April 20, 2009 4:11 PM

I am so happy that everyone is admitting to their crush on the cartoon fox version of Robin Hood. I have been harboring that secret crush for many a decade now.

Possibly inappropriate cartoon crush solidarity!

Posted by: Miss_E at April 20, 2009 4:15 PM

snath, how much for the kid?

you're selling her, right? i just skimmed through.

Posted by: gp at April 20, 2009 4:19 PM

my all-time favorite Disney forgotten-canon animal character is the girl squirrel from Sword and the Stone

JakesAlterEgo, I am right there with you! I mean, yeah, maybe she did come on a little stong, but she knew what she wanted.

Posted by: Blonde Savant at April 20, 2009 4:36 PM

I had a mad crush on that fox too - but I have to confess that I loved (LOVED!) the voice of Little John, the awesome Phil Harris, who was also voiced Baloo the bear in The Jungle Book, and the sexiest cat ever animated, Abraham DeLacey Giusseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley Cat. Disney always found the best voices for their creations. Hard to beat Baloo for coolness.

Sigh. Now I gotta go dust off those DVDs and terrorize my children with the golden age of Disney. :)

Posted by: Chickaboom at April 20, 2009 4:38 PM

maybe she did come on a little stong, but she knew what she wanted.

Hey, some of us need that, and don't even consider it "strong", just clear.

Posted by: Jay at April 20, 2009 4:45 PM

I'm a guy, and not dustin, so I will not declare my homo-erotic love for a shirtless fox. But dear lord, I wanted to be that fox. He was and is the only cartoon character besides Speedy Gonzalez whose life I totally wanted to live.

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at April 20, 2009 5:01 PM

@Jay

Definitely! Some of us are just socially tone-deaf. If a girl ever wrapped me up in her big bushy tail and batted her eyes at me, THEN I would know what's up.

Until then, I am bumbling through interpersonal relationships.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at April 20, 2009 5:07 PM

Alas, Robin the fox was not my only animated crush. I leaned to the Don Bluth style even as a lil' bit, and swooned for Justin in the Secret of NIHM. What a hunk. And, of course, Wolverine long before he was in a feature film. My girlfriends would tease, "But he' s not even real, " and I would point to their posters of the New Kids on the Block plastered all over their rooms and say, "Well, what's the difference. At least I know something about their character!"

Posted by: bibliophile at April 20, 2009 5:26 PM

Wow.I also had a crush on Justin, as well. Maybe we should start some sort of support group/fan club?

Posted by: Miss_E at April 20, 2009 6:11 PM

Justin was indeed hot....for a cartoon rat. Those damn children's flicks, anthropomorphizing animals and shit. This is also why I spent a good chunk of my childhood games pretending to be a talking animal. All my guy friends thought I was really weird. They still make fun of me for it sometimes.

Posted by: s. pisaster at April 20, 2009 7:06 PM

The fox was awesome, but i still think Sher Khan from The Jungle Book had the coolest voice.

Damn. I miss the days when you weren't ashamed to say you loved a Disney cartoon. Robin Hood, 101 Dalmatians, Fantasia (yes I maintain Fantasia was lovely, absolutely lovely!).

Posted by: Four Eyes at April 20, 2009 7:11 PM

First, no "Frankenhood" and now no "One-Eyed Monster." That's pretentious douchery, Dustin.

Posted by: JapJay at April 20, 2009 8:13 PM

What a little sweetie you have Snath. Pajiba needs more baby pictures.

Posted by: Cindy at April 20, 2009 8:22 PM

They still make fun of me for it sometimes.

Well, s. pis, if you'd stop *doing* it...

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 20, 2009 8:43 PM

Someone already made that version of Robin Hood. It was the BBC, it's in its 3rd season (God only knows why) and it is sucktastic. The costumes even look the same. Except at least their Robin is not a slightly pudgy, slightly past it NEW ZEALANDER!!!!!! (Most Australians conveniently like to forget Russell was originally a sheep raper...although our collective forgetfulness is directly proportional to the number of recent Oscar nominations...so recently...yeah, he's from New Zealand)

Robin the fox was my first crush too. It is of huge relief to find I am not alone. Also, having visited Pajiba for about 2 years now...not surprising...

Posted by: rach at April 20, 2009 10:12 PM

As cute as she was in those pictures, she's even cuter in real life.

Posted by: Snath at April 21, 2009 10:35 AM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

Meet The Fat Drunk Robin Hood

Comments