Sorry guys, I'm gonna apologize right now for the weak links today. There's only so much I can do with a slow news day, so I have no other choice than to mention that Oprah is getting a nighttime talk show. (Evil Beet)
How does that old saying go? Ah, yes: Every time Nicolas Cage loses one of his mansions, an angel gets its wings. (Screen Junkies)
Ventriloquist dummies are second only to clowns in things that are supposed to bring joy and laughter but are actually fucking terrifying. So here are the creepiest ventriloquist tales of all time (even though for some reason they left that episode of "Buffy" off the list). (Topless Robot)
HA! Some Midwestern dude on "Family Feud" basically said that Ellen DeGeneres -- who, even if you are not a fan, you have to admit seems like one of the nicest people ever -- hates America. (Warming Glow)
Oh, this sucks. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor's much-anticipated I Love You, Phillip Morris has been delayed indefinitely. Probably because it hates America, too. (The Playlist)
Here's a guide to "what your favorite television show says about you," which I'm sure at least a few of you are going to take serious umbrage with. (Holy Taco)
Here's a Cinematical Seven of couples "thrust into action." (Cinematical)
If, like me, you were completely outraged that Season Two of "Jersey Shore" was taking place in Miami, then rest assured because it will most certainly be finishing up back in the armpit of civilization. (IBBB)
Here are ten '80s movies which would have made great NES games. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that there were any '80s movies that weren't made into NES games. They even did a Bill & Ted game. (Which I own, bitches.) (Unreality)
Chillwave, the music genre which apparently started as a joke, is actually gaining momentum. (Audiosuede)
Pop Tarts have a new "Wild Grape" flavor that allegedly contains "real fruit." So that's what gives them that nuclear purple-colored hue. (Impulsive Buy)
Hey everybody, Megan Fox did something cool! This Funny or Die clip brings attention to the massive education budget cuts going on out in California right now. Although I live on the other coast, I've got a librarian friend dealing with this over there and it is some scary shit.
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