Pajiba Love 04/07/09

You Guys Aren't Going to Like This Nearly As Much As The RDJ Post From Last Week

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (37)

Ick, ick, ick! A full-frontal screen shot of Robert Pattinson from his upcoming Little Ashes has found its way online. Don’t look if you appreciate the male form. (Yeeeah!)

Hey everybody! Dan is now doing reviews for The Hollywood Reporter, so come over and show our guy some support! Here’s one for “Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire,” (THR) and one for “Rescue Me.” (THR)

Here’s an interview with Anna Faris on Observe and Report. Do you care? Maybe not, but here you go anyway. (AV Club)

Dustin mentioned Gary Coleman and Jason Mewes’ Midgets vs. Mascots in yesterday’s trade news, and it turns out Gary is none too thrilled about the project either. And he’s feeling “punchy” about it. (Webster’s)

Michael Bay hates women … Transformers. Well, we all knew he was just another misogynistic bastard. (ScreenJunkies)

Here’s a list of all the worst kinds of roommates. I’m not even going to get into my recent roommate woes, because you know what? I’m totally above it. (HolyTaco)

It looks like we’ve actually got Gwyneth Paltrow to blame for Scarlett Johansson’s “starvation boobs.” (AgentBedhead)

I’ve got all the marshmallow Peep news you could ever want, just in time for Easter! Here’s site with everything you could possibly need to know about the squishy little suckers on the internet, (UnlikelyWords) as well as more Peep dioramas, (mental floss) and a recipe for nummy Peep S’mores. (SeriousEats)

You want photos from The Land That Time Forgot remake? You got ‘em. (BloodyDisgusting)

Good old fashioned human ingenuity with never stop coming up with ways to be totally whorey. (YBNBY)

Originally there was supposed to be an 11th commandment, which read: “Thou shall not bogarteth thy neighbor’s Klondike Bar.” (PassiveAggressiveNotes)

Please, please do not give that insane Octomom her own reality show. (Celebitchy)

Here’s a cool animation sent to me by Tamatha. She thought you guys would like it, and so do I. Enjoy!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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← 2009 Anticipated Releases, Part 3 | The Most Unintentionally Homoerotic Films →

Comments

I pretty much blame Cunty Paltrow for everything from the St. Valentine's day massacre to any instability in the stock market.

I hate the bitch, THAT MUCH.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 7, 2009 1:04 PM

Millions of teenage girls are going to print out that picture of Robert Pattinson and just... go to town. All night long. That kind of business.

And BarbadoSlim, I also believe that Paltrow is the reason puppies die, so don't forget to hate her for that, too.

Posted by: Marcela at April 7, 2009 1:06 PM

There's no way I'm accepting Robert Pattinson as Dali. I saw the trailer, and it was only some children playing dress-up.

Posted by: Cindy at April 7, 2009 1:18 PM

"Downright revolting"? Whadda they want? Then they go and call Helena Christensen "sexy". I'll give Larson the benefit of the doubt that she didn't write that rubbish.

And Miss Sixty makes silly enough looking jeans as it is. This bijini thing....why not just go the whole hog and Bedazzle the triangle? Make it a more exciting ugly.

Posted by: Jay at April 7, 2009 1:21 PM

Those are the stupidest pants I have ever seen.

And I grew up in the 80s.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 7, 2009 1:37 PM

Marcela: Ewwwww, gross dude. What the fuck is wrong with tweener girls?

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at April 7, 2009 1:38 PM

Millions of teenage girls are going to print out that picture of Robert Pattinson and just... go to town. All night long. That kind of business.

Actually Marcela, I think they'd print it and as soon as they saw it didn't sparkle, they'd move on to the next shiny object.

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at April 7, 2009 1:41 PM

This bijini thing....why not just go the whole hog and Bedazzle the triangle?

I thought that whole hog would be getting a Brazilian Bedazzling?

Posted by: branded at April 7, 2009 1:50 PM

Michael Bay is a turd. I would do Arcee right in the manifold. Hard.

I am going to order a pair of bijinis right now. Only by showing people how atrocious they actually look will we be able to curb the rampant idiocy.

They shall behold the Magnificent Moose Knuckle and they shall be saved.

Posted by: admin at April 7, 2009 1:54 PM

I don't appreciate the male form, but I'm not going to look anyway.

Posted by: Kolby at April 7, 2009 2:02 PM

Millions of teenage girls are going to print out that picture of Robert Pattinson and just... go to town. All night long. That kind of business.

Ugh, I'm with Jeremy on this.

Maybe if he were the last guy on earth, and both my arms were broken, and he got a bath and a haircut and kept his clothes on and had a paper bag over his head...

I'd let him suck my nutsack.

Posted by: Drake at April 7, 2009 2:02 PM

Bijini? What. The. Fuck.

Posted by: Snath at April 7, 2009 2:03 PM

Another reason to hate Gwyneth Palthrow: as if we needed one more of those way, way too skinny actresses, yes Kiera, I'm talking to you too!

Scarlett, you pick up that fork, now! You eat 'till your mushmouth is back to form now, y'hear? Goddamn Palthrow: now I see why Chris Martin always wants to punch people in the face! I'd be irate too if I had to live with her...

Posted by: jpguy13 at April 7, 2009 2:06 PM

I think they'd print it and as soon as they saw it didn't sparkle, they'd move on to the next shiny object.

Doctor Controversy, you'd be surprised at the ingenuity of teenaged girls. They will buy a can of glitter, pop the mothafucka open with their teeth, and spray that picture with all the shiny-shiny they could ever need. Holy balls, it will be a sight.

Posted by: Marcela at April 7, 2009 2:08 PM

And, totally off topic, but if it weren't for all the goddamn ignorant bigots in this great state of Californication, we'd have gay marriage in 10% of the US right now.

Posted by: Drake at April 7, 2009 2:10 PM

Ummm, I hate to say it, but that Edward Cullen pic looks a lot like this English dude I used to date. Not much to look at but he really made up for it. Appearances can be deceiving.

Posted by: rayliota at April 7, 2009 2:39 PM

For that very reason I used to call my teenaged daughter The Seagull.

Posted by: slower lower at April 7, 2009 2:50 PM

Oh dear Godtopus, the bijini is just so wrong on so many, many levels. I think it shorted out my brain and therefore I cannot form the words to properly describe their wrongness.

Posted by: tamatha at April 7, 2009 2:54 PM

When is someone going to put Paltrow and her crazy ass trainer out of business? What the hell would it take!?! Do I need to locate an obeah man or witch doctor?

Dance around a Gucci bag stark naked 7 times by the light of the full moon? What dammit!?!

Posted by: Four Eyes at April 7, 2009 3:01 PM

When looking at that pic of Robert Pattison, did anyone else's mind flash to Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs? Now I'm all kinds of creeped out.

Posted by: tamatha at April 7, 2009 3:05 PM

I've had roommates 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 all in one delightfully sexually harassing package. Also he was my boss.

Posted by: Netraphim at April 7, 2009 3:20 PM

I am the anal retentive roommate. That list is a joke. When you deal with assholes who can't bother to, I don't know, not throw rotting food into the sink when the garbage can is right there, or, say, not dump malt liquor on your clothes after breaking off your lock because they were too drunk to remember which bedroom was theirs, I think they lose the right to feel offended when confronted about taking a shit in the sink because someone was in the shower. Call me old-fashioned like that.

Posted by: Robert at April 7, 2009 4:20 PM

Robert, I don't think being pissed about someone taking a shit in the sink is equivalent to being anal-retentive. I just lived with a passive-aggressive anal-retentive girl for two years, and for the first year she built up a giant inner anger that we had no idea about, just because we left dishes in the sink longer than she would've liked. We never left out food or did anything gross or disrespectful, yet she finally emailed us with the heading "Hey bitches." Meanwhile, she left out giant pots with food left in them, or stuck oven pans in the sink essentially until someone else cleaned them. And then when she said she didn't want to resign the lease because we were so messy, she cited as evidence that HER BEDROOM WAS MESSY and she couldn't live like that. Her own. Freaking. Bedroom.

Posted by: SaBrina at April 7, 2009 4:37 PM

And eeeew, do people really shit in sinks? That is fucking disgusting.

Posted by: SaBrina at April 7, 2009 4:38 PM

I don't understand why Robert Pattinson is considered hot by anyone. Fine, I'll cope. But somebody has to explain the hair to me. It is just so god damn illogical that it makes me want to take a pair of rusty clippers to it then sand down his scalp with an orbital sander to be sure I got it all.

Posted by: admin at April 7, 2009 4:42 PM

I was thinking of a blowtorch myself, admin.

Posted by: lordhelmet at April 7, 2009 5:13 PM

I can't wait to get home and actually see all these links (I'm convinced someone in tech loves Pajiba, as it's one of the very few sites of this nature not blocked).

I hope the psycho roommate is on the list, at the #1 spot. I had one. You haven't lived, and all that....

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at April 7, 2009 5:16 PM

Mr. Carlson -- congrats to you. nice reviews.

Posted by: riles at April 7, 2009 5:43 PM

When looking at that pic of Robert Pattison, did anyone else's mind flash to Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs? Now I'm all kinds of creeped out.

Posted by: tamatha at April 7, 2009 3:05 PM

Yes, dammit yes!

And Stacey you are dead wrong for telling us not to click on that because you KNOW we are going to click. I used to appreciate the male form but now I just don't know what it is anymore.

I blame you Stacey. The lambs won't stop screaming.

Posted by: greer at April 7, 2009 6:08 PM

admin - His hair reminds me of a muppet's. Especially, in the header pic, where he looks like Beaker. Makes me wonder if he has a big poster of the muppets on his bathroom wall as inspiration. 'Right! Today, I will style my hair like the random monster with the chicken!'

I just realised I know way too much about the Muppets. But I think I'd see the next Twilight movie if all his lines were 'Meep meep meep'.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at April 7, 2009 6:56 PM

I faithfully read your links every week, Stacey, but the links to Holy Taco have just GOT to stop. As evidence, the first paragraph of the posting you linked to "The 9 Worst Roommates You Will Ever Have," begins with the sentence:

A bad roommate, on the other hand, is like a case of AIDS. He or she can take away your freedom, independence and ultimately, your will to live, until you are a shell of the person you once were.

What? I mean that is just blatantly gross, sloppy, and juvenile writing. A case of AIDS? O-FFENSIVE. And I'm not usually one to get up on a soapbox, so you know that shit's gotta be bad for me to say something. Just ick.

I'm gonna go wash off my browser now. It feels dirty.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at April 7, 2009 7:03 PM

The Pink Hulk

Seconded. I feel the same way about the site Drunken Stepfather. (shudder)

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at April 7, 2009 8:24 PM

And eeeew, do people really shit in sinks? That is fucking disgusting.

As bad as that is, they should be thankful they didn't get upper decked.

Posted by: branded at April 7, 2009 8:42 PM

Aw, y'all are just jealous YOU didn't think of the bijini and call it the Pajini.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 7, 2009 9:43 PM

What you must understand is that after I blew up about the shit in the sink, I made sure they knew what was or was not appropriate in our shared living space. Making a pot full of mac and cheese and not washing it when finished? Not without being reprimanded. Leaving soaking wet towels all over the bathroom? Not without a lecture on the merits of not being a dick. Dead bolting me out of the apartment because you wanted to have a destructive party and stop me from complaining? Not without a visit by security and forced reimbursement for the cost of instrument repairs.

Until the incident, I was very kind and patient. I lost it a bit when they left rotten food in the sink over the holidays and I returned to find the apartment swarming with flies. I let so much slide until the incident. Then, barely a day went by where I could stop myself from finding something to complain about.

Like I said, shit in the sink, lose your right to experience the civilized Robert who let you get away with really unacceptable behavior. I wound up moving out a month later. I'd rather have the exorbitant monthly bus fare than deal with that nonsense.

Posted by: Robert at April 7, 2009 10:47 PM

Ok I waited until I got home to see a blurry picture of a guy's pubes?

Sheesh.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at April 7, 2009 11:07 PM

I'm 22, a sexy single girl with nice shape. I have a hot

profile on ~~~~~~~~~~~~~T a l l

M e e t .
C o m~~~~~~~~. And I'd like to find my true

gentleman. Chat with me there. I'm always online.

Posted by: yx at April 8, 2009 10:53 PM

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You Guys Aren't Going to Like This Nearly As Much As The RDJ Post From Last Week

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