Pajiba

Hey, you leave poor Rick Moranis alone! The man retired from movies for the most part because his wife passed away and he wanted to take care of his family. (Though he did take the voiceover route, which makes me wonder why he's not in the forthcoming videogame.)

As much as I hated Honey We Shrunk Ourselves (also known as "Honey...we had kids named Nick and Amy?"), I would welcome Dr. Wayne Szalinski back gladly!

Fuck the haters, Zooey Deschanel is AWESOME. Although I did kinda sorta absolutely love the fuck out of Maggie Gyllenhaal in Stranger Than Fiction.

And on the subject of stupid Cutesy Bootsey pet names? No. You will call me Jeremy, and occasionally, "Master", but only under certain very specific circumstances. Most of them involve leather.

"No. You will call me Jeremy, and occasionally, "Master", but only under certain very specific circumstances. Most of them involve leather"

I heart you, Jeremy.

...despite the fact that her character was killed off during the series by getting mowed the hell down by a speeding vehicle.

Nonsense. My grandma used to bitch about how soaps did this all the time. And in 'Soapdish', Kevin Kline's character had been decapitated and they totally wrote him back in.

Call me cold and cynical, but you know the Farrah Fawcett news just isn't that sad in my opinion. She's had her life, and a pretty good one it was too. She also spent a lot of that time being high and drunk out of her mind so we know she doesn't value her liver that much (and yes, she had plenty of help to get sober). On top of that her "legacy" amounts to one God-awful hairstyle that is still sported by many women in Wisconsin.

In light of the fact that we just lost a friend who was taken way too soon, I'd prefer if the powers that be would concentrate on taking the Farrahs of this world and leave our young mothers alone.

i love giving people random nicknames. things like:

skillet face
sugar bean
old man butter nuts
baby poop
dummy (stolen from 30 rock)
huck-a-buck jones

these have all applied to my husband at some point, as well as co-workers, my mom, people on tv.... i'm romantic!

My coworkers and I can not stop laughing at the Peekaru. That is the creepiest thing I have ever seen. Soon Snuggies and Slankets and Peekarus will be taking over the world, swaddling us in their warm cocoons and killing us with lethargy.

Snuggiepants the Deathbringer: I don't think I've ever had a problem with kickers. Although I have heard tales of their fuckery, and they must be stopped. Preferably by forcibly removing their legs from the knees down.

And I heart you too, SOD. Now get back into the harness.

two things:

When I saw My Bloody Valentine 3d, I was in the last row of the front section of seating at my theater. A pack of girls came in after the movie started and, since it was opening weekend, couldn't find seats together. So, instead of pairing off and filing the seats they could find, they decided to stand RIGHT BEHIND ME and chat about how they couldn't find seats. They eventually noticed all the dirty looks and proceeded to reduce it to a loud whisper about the lack of seats. Then, a cell phone rang right behind my head. And one of those little brats answered her phone. I turned in my seat, looked her square in the eye over the top of my 3d specs, and said in a conversational tone, "You have GOT to be KIDDING me." That was the point at which an usher came over to tell them to sit down and shut up or leave (at which point, naturally, they complained about having paid for tickets; the usher told them they'd get their money back). I hate those stupid, whiny, annoying little brats more than the toddlers; the toddlers don't know any better.

Re: schmoopie, the pseudo-Mr. and I have ridiculous names for each other, that we use both publicly and privately. he calls me Marge and I call him Homer; I call him Mickey and he calls me Mallory. Sometimes, he calls me Squeebus (Magic card). I used to call him sugar booger, but he was pretty much having no part of that one. We don't, however, use the baby-talk voice. That's just gross.

rick moranis returning!!! that would be amazing his wife's death is the third most annoying death of the nineties.. first being john candy because he is sorely missed and second being Diana's death not cus she is missed but cus the reaction of everyone was pretty fucking hilarious even for a ten year old me. the whole diana nation crying debacle was to pardon the pun a car crash. by the by id be crying at the rooftops if zombie diana came back cus it would mean zombie candy!!!

anyway ive never really gone for the whole terms of endearment thing in the same way ive never really gone for the whole relationship or intimacy thing. id like to say this was by personal choice but its not im just bitter and twisted.
Its also down to my name Jim Smyth. With a name like jim, which is already a nickname, that is short in and of itself im never going to get a nickname from a loved one. And then my whole name is just boring enough that it sounds unbelievable anyway. Not quite John Smith but not far off.

Hmm Ive wrote quite a bit... Maybe I need an MPDG itd definitely help me put off my dissertation for longer anyway. mmm Zooey Deschanel dressed as Pocahontas.

Mrs. Bullet often calls me Lord Rod Swellingcock. In turn, I call her Lady Dancingquim.

SYDNEY'S BACK? Fuck yes.

Jay, I don't want to get over you.

AvB, you are adorable. Marge & Homie. Oh you two.

my balls are my benjamin buttons.

Hee! Optimus, sometimes I try to do the voice but it always makes me cough...

For the sake of your cutesy love names, I am prescribing three packs of cigarettes a day, AvB.

I'm surprised my daughter ever learned her own name with all of the nicknames I've given her. Punkin' Pie, Monkey McGee, Booga, Bug, Stinkbug, Stinkerbell, Poop Jones.
The husband and I go with babe or sweetheart; anything else seems forced and weird.
My cousin and I call each other Whore, Skank, Cock Vulture, and other lovely things. I loves her.

Cock Vulture

And with that, my keyboard is covered in tea.

Moranis has been doing voiceover work and recorded at least one album of sad-cowboy poetry/music. Dude just pretty much went to shit when his wife died, he didn't even come out of his hole for The McKenzie Brother's Two-Four Anniversary special.

And why didn't Fruity Oaty Bars from Serenity feature in that list of ads?? While many ads spark my rage, none of them have (so far) triggered a bar-wide asswhuppin.

I call all my boyfriends "fatty", even if they're not actually fat. I also use "My king."

This week?

I say "Boyfriends" 'cause mon savage is worth a dozen (gorgeous and well-endowed) guys.

I call all of my friends babe, doll, sweetie pie, or babycakes. It's mostly for my gays. Or to annoying them.

I called my ex "The Ficus". I told him it was because he was tall and built like a tree (he was kinda vain). In actuality, it was because he was boring and just stood there like a plant when people were around. Man, my friends and I had some good laughs over that nickname...

*too

I save my Craig the Critic-ings for after I leave the theater. I also stay until after the credits are complete and speak only in conspiratorial whispers until I am well beyond the boundaries of the movie theater.

My brother, unfortunately, is a cell phone bitch.

cell phone LIGHT is equally annoying.
you know how long the movie will last. if you're that goddamn important, leave an out-going message to folks that you will be unavailable until said-time.

i swear, i was UTTERLY involved in a film recently and this jackass 1 seat up and over from me checked his phone screen EVERY 3 minutes... and an hour into the film it FUCKING RANG.

also, nicole kidman is a cyborg, i hope farrah pulls through, and i would sop chris klein up with a biscuit.

We've all already had a hearty laugh over one of my childhood nicknames - do any of you jerks remember it?

We call the boy Bubba, Bubbapants, Bubba McStubba, Mister, and Stinkybutt.

But Elsie, if you don't carry your child on your person until they're old enough to ride a two-wheel bike, you risk alienating them and making them insecure for their whole lives. It's all part of the nurturing, loving process called attachment parenting. Or as I like to call it, Martyr Mothering. And I fricking hate those people.

I love how new babies look like old men. And cute nicknames for your children don't count. Those are inevitable.

I will never understand the level of cruelty that takes place in puppy mills. I can see how profit driven, greedy bastards have a desire to maximize their earning potential, but do they have to keep the dogs in such deplorable conditions? Does the cruelty really translate to that much more money? There were recently two cases in Oregon of large dog rescues. One was someone who had a few hundred acres of land and about 130 dogs. The dogs had free roam of the land and food was put out for them every day. Many of them had health problems, mostly minor, and some were malnourished, but they could all be rehabilitated. I didn't feel so bad for those dogs. The other one was a cocker spaniel mill with about 30 dogs kept in similar conditions as described the Newsweek article. That one made me feel so sad that I donated money on the spot to our local humane society who rescued them. It also made me want to see the owners die a slow death. There's a big difference between animal hoarding and pure cruelty.

Re: annoying Movie goers.
I agree with most of them except Mr Tall Guy. I'm 6'4. I can't do anything about that. I can only shrink so far down into my chair. I try to arrive early so I don't sit in front of anyone. But people do still come sit behind me and bitch.
So I'd put those people on my list.
The height does come in handy though when any of the other 8 on the list sit behind me. I just sit up real straight and tall in my chair and eclipse the shit out of the screen.

As for cute nicknames - my sister and her husband used to call each other "Butt Phlegm" and "Sperm burping gutter slut", respectively. It was so romantic.

And a p.s. about nicknames.
I am still fighting for the return of "Mac" and "Bub"
As in "Hey Mac! Get yer mitts offa my dame!".
Or, "Listen Bub, I don't like you, or your face, see?!"

Here's my feeling about Zooey Deschanel. Is she adorableand does she have a great sense of style? Yes. This does not change the fact that she is a mediocre actress. Does she have a beautiful voice? Absolutley. This does not make her a great song writer, not does it change the fact that much of the She & Him album was Boring with a capital B.

She should be a model who sings standards on the weekend in a tiny hip smoke filled barroom- and that is all.

I call my wife Mah Wahf. Everything else I won't share.

I had an annoying movie-goer experience that defies categorizing. I went to the first Lord of the Rings movie, which I had already seen but not fully enjoyed thanks to a bunch of Talkers nearby. The theater was once again packed this time, and an elderly lady sat down next to me. I was somewhat relieved because I doubted she would whip out a cell phone or throw popcorn or kick the seats.

This lady was really into the movie. I'm all for being enthusiastic, but damn. You know that scene where the hobbits are being chased by a Wraith and three of them have made it to the raft but Frodo is still hauling ass and yelling at them to go already? This lady ran in place along with Frodo. She had her hands doubled up into fists and was gasping for air and her little feet were pounding the sticky theater floor. It was at this point that I thought she might be more fun to watch than the movie.

Then we get to Boromir's death scene. Beautifully filmed, wonderfully acted, heartbreaking to watch. The theater was dead silent. As Boromir struggled to his feet and got another arrow in the chest, the lady next to me bellowed, "OH NO. OH GOSH DARNIT! ISN'T THAT TOO BAD? WHAT A SHAME!"

The entire theater turned as one to glare at her. When we left, I noticed that she joined up with several friends who, knowing her habits, apparently sat as far away from her as possible.