Pajiba

I also hate Jerry Seinfeld but don't mind the (still hugely overrated) show.

Luckily for that filthy hooker, her blood flow was stopped by the most absorbent, product on the market. ShamWOW! after every KaPOW!

I'm so printing that Seinfeld poster.

The new hornrim style glasses fit pretty well over one's own glasses, unlike those yellow headband jobbies.

Sadly, no one seemed to get my Seinfeld reference over on the Emma Stone page. My day is totally ruined now!

Katherine Heigl is like that friend every woman has at one point of her life who is ridiculously self-absorbed and blissfully unaware of it. All of her stories begin with "I looked great" or "they all had crushes on me" or "I was killing it." Chances are you'll put up with her for years before you realize you have every right to tell her to shut up and later replace her with another friend who's as openly insecure and self-deprecating as you are.

*sigh* I wish I'd gone to a co-ed high school...

*sigh* I wish I'd gone to a co-ed high school...

But then you wouldn't have been deprived of manly men and, therefore, would not have developed an unhealthy obsession with Pajihunks.

Everything happens for a reason.

*sigh* I wish I'd gone to a co-ed high school...

I feel your pain, honey. *terrorist fist bump*

I wonder if Heigl wasn’t so hot would she get all this hate? Face it people, if Heigl was average you would all you women hate her? I say no, hot women are always attacked, and I’m not surprised that some of the women of pajiba hate her.

Also, on reflection, I think that Heigl is actually Charlie from High Fidelity. I do not mean that as some sort of insult on the novel/film of same name, but her ability to be self-absorbed without realizing it is astounding.

"Kids are too...what's the word...time-consuming."

Also, I like to think of John Cusack leaning out of a window and calling her a fucking bitch. But that's just because I'm a misogynist.

I wonder if Heigl wasn’t so hot would she get all this hate? Face it people, if Heigl was average you would all you women hate her? I say no, hot women are always attacked, and I’m not surprised that some of the women of pajiba hate her.

I'm not surprised Pookie knows FUCK ALL about women.

That has got to be the most surreal, hilarious thing I've ever read. I love it. LOVE IT. Did they use their wares for the rumble? Who did she go with? did she need cleaning or chopping? TELL ME MORE!

turns out the lead is mis-leading. Shammy and Slappy are one-in-the same dude.

Slampy hires hooker.

Slapmy kisses hooker.

hooker bites Slapmpmy.

Slampmpy beats up hooker.

Gotta say it's one HELL of a story.

It's one of those moments in a foreigner's life where you just stop and go "What the FUCK, Americans?"

I feel that way whenever I read the phrase "they've found a way to deep fry ____________ "

Sofía, I have that same reaction to the deep-frying, and I live here.

SaBrina, I think looks become an issue between friends when one of the parties makes a big deal about them. My best friend knows she's beautiful but she knows her looks don't impress me at all, and I shrug off whatever compliments she might send my way. In the end, looks are our last possible topic of conversation and we've never really competed for a man's attention because we're into different types of guys.

So far 3-D is always an option, you can see everything in 2-D and keep your guts intact.

I love it myself, though.

CATFIGHT!

after I saw My Bloody Valentine I pretty much decided that I only wanted to watch movies in 3-D from now on.

No wonder I *heart* Stacey. I had the same reaction! 3D FOREVAH!!

Also, I wear glasses (nearsighted). They fit fine over my regular glasses, are a fun Blues Brothers RayBan style, and I haven't had any issues with scratched lenses. I also suffer from motion sickness. None of these things tainted my enjoyment of either Valentine or Coraline.

I am feeling so belligerent today. Lack of sleep does that to me. I really want to smack someone.

"And Peeps...you know, I had no idea Peeps existed until I went to college in the US and when I found out...well let's just say it's one of those moments in a foreigner's life where you just stop and go 'What the FUCK, Americans?'"

figgy, I was spawned here, and I don't get it either. If I wanted a bitter, crusty, tasteless waste of calories, I'd gnaw on The Heigel.

(Discloseure: I actually have a lot more love for Heigel than I do for Peeps.)

Nice try Jakes. I was hoping for blood (or at least sexy hair pulling)too but sometimes these Pajibettes just insist on being way to nice to each other.

It's eroding my faith in bitchiness.

I got a pot belly, but the only thing that keeps the ladies coming back is my long cock. Am I mad because I'm average looking? No. I've accepted my lot in life and I'm happy.

No no no Sofia, I didn't say the women of Pajiba are average looking. besides smart women turn me on, I like the take charge attitude they have. Take charge as in when they call me and tell me to get dressed because they want me to come and put my hammer down. they want me to come and stand up in that pussy.

I was pointing out what admin said about Pajibettes being nice to each other, and according to your theories it's because we're average-looking.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm very interested in what BarbadoSlim has to say about all this. Also, his take on Pookie's long penis.

Will you please excuse me, Jay? I'm trying to make a comeback here.

Now, um, carry on with the slapfight....

Yes Sofia, my dick is long. My dick is so long, pulling out of Iraq will take a shorter time than me pulling out of a piece of pussy.

I don't usually jump into the fracas but I feel that I need to clarify: I don't think Katherine Heigl is exceptionally attractive. I don't think she's ugly -- I do think she's about average looking. Also, she looks really, really old for her age. She's the same age as me yet probably looks ten years older. See kids? That's what smoking does to you. Stay away from cigarettes. "The more you know."

Yeah Stacey, sure, you look better than Heigl and Sofia wants to use a strap-on on figgy.

Katherine Heigl should be admired not derided. What is shameful is that supposedly people of intelligence would read something like the website that was linked and actually make anything of it and turn it into some Heigl hate campaign. She could save 10000 people from starvation but someone would still take a pot shot at her. It is vindictive stuff and typical of the medial who build people up then try and shoot them down. Heigl has done zero wrong and doesn't deserve to have everything she says turned against her or quoted out of context.

I can't stop watching that 'dog milking a goat' video. Hahahahaha!

OK, Maj, I think you're taking this way too seriously. All we know about Heigl so far is that she's an actress and that nothing she's said in the last three years makes her seem like a humble, compassionate, and kind person who has a sense of humor about herself. There is no need for us to start a hate campaign against her. She's doing that all by herself. I'm not saying she's a bad person, I just think she's the Beyoncé of TV actresses. She takes herelf way too seriously and it doesn't always make her look good. I'm sure she does a lot of charity work, that's she's been through a lot to be where she is right now and that she really loves her people, blah, blah, blah, but she needs to hire someone to speak for her. Now.

One of my best mates has copped a king hit of shit lately. In addition to an inoperable brain tumour she's had for years, she now has some sort of brain atropy. And her dog got sick and the meds are only going to help him for a little while. And all the shit she went through getting diagnosed for the tumour means the tests for the brain atropy are just that much more traumatic.
I got the bright idea to send her something via email every day to give her a laugh. I promised to do this before realising I don't HAVE anything funny to send, because I'm stupid like that.
Because of Pajibalove, I haven't had to resort to those stupid fucking chain emails about kittens and rainbows. Instead, she gets stories on the worst sex-toys ever and dog armour, and it seems to be helping. (Apparently, the dog-armour guy was pretty hot. Mind you, she thinks Edward Cullen is the epitome of manhood, so I'm ignoring that one. Friendship only goes so far, even when brain-rot is involved).
So thank-you Stacy. I owe you much.

Okay, go back to your scheduled hating on Heigel/Heilg/whateverthefuckitis.

Uh yeah...what worthwhile service to humanity has Heigle done, exactly? I must have missed it. And if she expresses an opinion, well, so may we.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I'm making the effort to type this out, but I find this one quote mostly inoffensive. The other ones? Very offensive. She is not blessed with an internal monologue is my guess.

Geroge, that may be the best punch-in-the-face list ever.