free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 03/26/09 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | March 26, 2009 | Comments (29)

Sorry guys, I’m not gonna pretend I have it in me to make a bunch of cutesy little quips and jokes today. Here’s your links:

Lindsay Lohan’s new movie is going straight to DVD TV. (Webster’s)

This is why I love Portia De Rossi. (FourFour)

This is cute, Barack Obama’s teleprompter now has its own blog. Thanks, Kolby! (Barack’sTeleprompter)

Oh, Sean Penn. Please do not do the Three Stooges movie. (AgentBedhead)

Here are five actors who shamefully returned to film franchises. (Spout)

Anyone wonder what Sinead O’Connor’s been up to lately? (Celebitchy)

Here’s an interview with Rawston Marshall Thurber on the upcoming Magnum, P.I.. (ScreenJunkies)

A disturbingly attractive My Little Pony done as Slave Priness Leia. Thanks, Sarina! (Topless Robot)

Here’s a first look at Drew Barrymore as Edie Beale. (PopCandy)

With Easter upon us, here’s 100 ways to kill a peep. (100WaysToKillAPeep)

Does the world really need a Bret Michaels autobiography? (Jezebel)

Matt Groening, interviewed. I went to high school with his niece and apparently the guy is kind of a dick. (AV Club)

Does anyone remember that Bill O’Reilly wrote a novel in 1998? Yikes. Thanks, Jake! (VillageVoice)

Robert Pattinson smells. Tell me something I don’t know. (Yeeeah!)

The end of the world = $$$ (FilmSchoolRejects)

Philip finally watched Twilight. (TheGlowIsGone)

Dog armour? There are no words. Thanks, Lucas! (PitBullArmory)

Reader Rachel sent me this clip earlier this week, which is a cool reimagining of Little Red Riding Hood:


Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Damn, I didn't know you guys needed a link to Pitbull Armory.... I'da sent it along years ago. I needed some shit for my squirrels...

Posted by: Spike at March 26, 2009 1:07 PM

What Sinead has been doing lately? You mean apart from having had a sex change and becoming a mechanic?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 26, 2009 1:09 PM

Do not, I repeat DO NOT click the link in the Topless Robot post with the Leia pony. The one about Leia's maternal instinct. Is there anything stronger than bleach that I can flush my brain with?

Posted by: Dangle McGee at March 26, 2009 1:13 PM

I don't think I worded that post well...click the link for the pony, but not the link in the accompanying paragraph about maternal instinct. I think it broke brain I have that in head.

Posted by: Dangle McGee at March 26, 2009 1:14 PM

Dog armour?

Why on earth would you link to dog armour, and not the SQUIRREL ARMOUR?!

Wait: allow me to repeat it: Squirrel. Armour.

God, I needed that.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at March 26, 2009 1:15 PM

Well at least somebody's doing their part to correct the negative stereotype that Pit-Bull's have.

Squirrel Armour is protection from squirrels though, right? Those fuckers nibble toes.

Posted by: admin at March 26, 2009 1:18 PM

Boo. Hiss. that Teleprompter blog is Right Wing propaganda. Seriously. You read it, beyond the silliness, and it's all - "Obama will raise our taxes and bring in socialism"

Posted by: Withnail at March 26, 2009 1:21 PM

Dangle McGee,

As soon as you said "DO NOT click," I knew I was going to. I really hate that I am wired that way.

Posted by: Tammy at March 26, 2009 1:24 PM

While I applaud the dog armor, I'm afraid I could never use it. My dogs act like cigarettes are being put out on their kabooshes if anyone puts reindeer antlers on their heads at christmas. They'd probably die of aneurysms if put into suits of armor. I think it's part of the inherent coolness of dogs: they appreciate that there is nothing niftier than running around butt naked all the time.

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at March 26, 2009 1:33 PM

what was that, Little Red Riding Hood as told by Ikea? That was weird, funky, oddly intriguing.

Posted by: Duane at March 26, 2009 1:37 PM

The upcoming do-what-now?

Posted by: Jay at March 26, 2009 1:45 PM

I stand by my theory that Twilight is really meant to be seen as a comedy. You will never convince me that that shit wasn't meant to be anything but completely hilarious.

Posted by: figgy at March 26, 2009 1:45 PM

Good to know!
And thousands of sincere and serious tall people I met on
___T a l l m i n g l e . c o m___ are the most amazing people I ever met! they care nothing but real love and chemistry! that's what we are looking for in today's world! :-)

Posted by: Renazhang at March 26, 2009 1:45 PM

Hold on, hold on. Did anyone check out the squirrel armor on that PitBull Armory page?

Posted by: Jaci at March 26, 2009 1:51 PM

Renazhang, no one asked you.

Posted by: figgy at March 26, 2009 1:55 PM

The best part of the squirrel armor page? The part at the end where the page reads "Coming Soon: Gerbil Armor- Just Kidding!" Like if he made gerbil armor we'd think he was too weird.

Posted by: Kayanne at March 26, 2009 1:56 PM

"Does the world really need a Bret Michaels autobiography?"

Yes. Yes it does. Allow me...

"Hi! My name is Bret Michaels! I was in a rockin' band called Poison in the mid-to-late eighties. We looked like chicks, but everybody thought we were awesome. Anyhow, I have diabetes, I still play music... uh, I wear rock-style cowboy hats and bandanas all the time to cover the twisted weave-scars on my scalp... um... let's see... Oh! I was in a couple of movies! Yeah, I've got my own production company with Charlie Sheen, so there's that... I'm forty-six and wear eyeliner (and maybe a little lip gloss now and again)... And well, I guess that pretty much covers it.

Oh, yeah - and I'm on a show where I get to have sex with a boatload of fame-seeking gutter whores who look less like women than we did circa 1986. Due to which, my body is housing six individual strains of herpes doctors have never seen - brother, I don't care what they're called - all I know is every time I take a leak, it looks like someone puked up salsa and cottage cheese ...

I'm Bret Michaels, thanks for buying my rockin' bio!"

Posted by: Skitz at March 26, 2009 2:01 PM

You know how the janitor on Scrubs has hundreds of stuffed squirrels and he holds a parliament of them? Now I want him to form an army of squirrels with full armor. This could be a spin off. But it would need to be on HBO so that they don't have to edit around the enormous squirrel testicles.

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at March 26, 2009 2:02 PM

Little known fact: diabeetus kills herpes.

But ONLY diabeetus. Those of us with diabetes are screwed, still.

Posted by: lizzieborden at March 26, 2009 2:12 PM

MY EYES! MY BRAIN! DAMN, THAT STINGS!

McGee, you know the surest way to make anyone look is to say, "Don't look!" You bastard, you did that on purpose.

You know, I'm a gal in my thirties, and I've always loved medieval weaponry, which some people have found weird. But I never once considered making little suits of armor for taxidermied squirrels. I have been wasting my life.

Posted by: DeadBessie at March 26, 2009 2:12 PM

That Portia De Rossi bit is fucking awesome.

Posted by: Eep at March 26, 2009 2:18 PM

every time I take a leak, it looks like someone puked up salsa and cottage cheese ...

That would kinda look like the soup I was in the middle of eating. Thanks Skitz.

Posted by: admin at March 26, 2009 2:34 PM

Must douche brain now. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Why did I click on that link? Damn you, McGee.

--------------------------------------

I've seen the doggie and squirrel armour before, and like the others, I'm wondering why you didn't link directly to the squirrel armour.

Posted by: BWeaves at March 26, 2009 3:15 PM

Just checking back in....ah yes, my little 'no, don't look!' ploy worked perfectly. BWAHAHAHAHA!!
Just kidding, I really did want to spare others, but I forgot about the mass amount of masochists and pervs that hang around here. Though I think that link was probably a little nastier than any of us have ever been, save Pookie or B-Slim.

Posted by: Dangle McGee at March 26, 2009 5:07 PM

Wow, fully half a dozen remarks about Sean Connery's immense greed in one short paragraph. But Connery wasn't motivated by greed to make Never Say Never Again. He donated his profits -- or at least most of it -- to a retired Scottish actors fund. I'm not defending it as a film, mind you. Clearly, it sucked balls (the absence of the standard Bond film music was particularly jarring), just his motivations for making it.

Posted by: Sarah at March 26, 2009 6:00 PM

I though this might cheer people up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXIeHg6k24o

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at March 26, 2009 7:44 PM

Withnail - right-wing propaganda, really? Oops!

Posted by: Kolby at March 26, 2009 7:46 PM

So.... I have a Great Pyrenees (if you've never seen one, google that now) and I stumbled upon this dog armor some time ago. I have this twisted fantasy in which I purchase said armor for my dog, AND a bike with a sidecar, and ride around town with my armored dog by my side, shouting, "HERE'S your Yorick fucking Berneson, bitches!" Yea. That would be awesome.
More awesome? Get a squirrel, too, armored to ride the handlebars.
I'll stick with leather, myself, thanks.

Posted by: Tira at March 26, 2009 11:35 PM

Yeah, if you actually read the thing you'd be kinda horrified about it.

Posted by: Withnail at March 27, 2009 12:11 AM