Happy Easter, everybody! Or as I like to call it, God’s rip-off holiday — since you have to spend a day with your family but most people don’t even get a day off of work to make up for it. Thank goodness for Peeps, is all I can say. (Serious Eats)
Abbey Road as ripped off by: everyone and their brother. (Mental Floss)
“Chocolate Rain” swept the second annual YouTube Video Awards. In related news, YouTube apparently gives out awards now. (WIMB)
Napalm Vagina spreads her goodwill … or, something, to Africa. (Yeeeah!)
It’s a been big week for some of the Pajiba staff — this time, John Williams got to meet Carver, Marlo, and Omar from “The Wire!” (ASWOBA)
So … Anyone else catch the guy putting his junk in a moustrap on the internet? Cause that one got lost on me, too. (QuizLaw)
Buffy cast … reunited … Hyperventilating … Need … Inhaler … (WIMB)
Kellogg’s Special K Raspberry Bliss bars are barely raspberry, and definitely not bliss. (The Impulsive Buy)
Sci Fi’s “Scare Tactics” returns — sans Shannen Doherty, now with Tracy Morgan. I love this idea so much I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant. (Popoholic)
So that’s not true that if you’re allergic to peanuts, and you go down on someone who ate a lot of peanuts that day, you could die? I’ll be damned. (CollegeHumor)
Hey everyone, meet two of America’s future rapist-abductors! And is it wrong that I kinda laughed at the booger part at the end? (Jezebel)
Wait, so Scarlett Johansson’s big, anticipated album is going to be mostly Tom Waits covers? Oh, just shut up Scarlett Johansson. (Agent Bedhead)
I drink your bongwater! Thanks to Kate for today’s clip, after the jump.
Re: that Jezebel clip. Those are not children. Those are some sort of devil-monkey-spawn posing as children. Yikes.
It literally physically hurts me to think of Napalm Vagina sullying my beautiful homeland's native soil. I want to call up all my relatives and apologize or something.
I haaaaate Peeps. HATE. They are only good for one thing, and it's sure as hell not eating. They are good for being impaled with toothpicks, put in a microwave in pairs, and watched to see which one poufs up the biggest and eats the other one. This is best done after copious alcohol consuption, and with betting involved.
Bonus: Remember, if you toss some Jolt cola in there with them, the end result would approximate the filling inside sick-macking Cadbury Creme Eggs.
Ugh... I can't imagine why anyone likes Peeps. Scabrous abnormalities disguised as "candy"... {shudder}
Also, they are the Anti-Christ!
It's true.
A simple glance at the last two lines of Yeats' poem The Second Coming should be sufficient to prove it.
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
As I mentioned before, Peeps have a rather scabrous, rough texture, and are shaped (rather loosely) on a beast (a Thalidomide chicken in this case).
A peek at the container shows that they are made (or summoned?) by the Just Born company in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania!!!!
I think it is perfectly clear that we must consign all Peeps to the cleansing fire!
Burn them all before we all bear the mark of the Beast!!!!!!
Posted by: canology at March 21, 2008 3:58 PM
canology... that... that was brilliant. I'm in. I thought I hated peeps before, but now...
I shall banish them from my house, lest they corrupt Mrs. TK any further.
I suspect the devil children on Jezebel eat ONLY peeps. That would explain it.
Posted by: TK at March 21, 2008 4:02 PM
Peeps love can be killed by watching a single show on how they are made.
Sugar at high temps and food coloring? Ewww....
Posted by: Melody at March 21, 2008 4:03 PM
I do love the creme eggs. It took several years, as the image on TV of the yolk and white I knew not to be actual yolk and white was confusing and off-putting and I don't like eggs in any form except scrambled/omelette. Once I finally ate one I ended up stealing one the next year from Eckerd.
Yep, I liked it.
Easter often means deviled eggs in my family, and another "NO I don't wany any!!!! And I don't want any spinach dip or asparagus or sauerkraut or squash or green bean casserole!!!!!!" (rolled all the family gatherings together, but you get my point. No, I'm not actually that *outwardly* violent) And yes, Easter, like many holidays with big gatherings, means filling up a day I could go see a movie or just rest. But the schedules and in-law commitments and such don't mesh this week and I'm free! There was just a combination birthday dinner last night and I played with my baby cousin and drank merlot. We have gathered and eaten and I can still drink and watch movies with friends on Sunday. I got lucky.
Can Werewolf Bar Mitzvah somehow....SOMEHOW...get involved in that show? What a day of glory that would be.
Give me the Cadbury Creme Eggs (particularly the Caramel kind...delicious) and marshmallow chocolate eggs any day.
Posted by: Brie at March 21, 2008 4:11 PM
What? Is Good Friday not a stat holiday in the US or something? It is in the Great White North!
I'm still working, because I'm a slackass with a looming deadline, but at least I'm doing so from the comfort of home, with a drink in one hand and without having to pretend I'm not checking Pajiba every half hour....
Posted by: MO at March 21, 2008 4:11 PM
Chocolate Bunny, people.
Always the chocolate bunny. Eat him ears first.
Posted by: Melody at March 21, 2008 4:12 PM
DAMMIT Jay, I'll be singing that song all day now.
"werewolf bar mitzva, very spooky, boys becoming men, men becoming wolves!"
Posted by: Julie at March 21, 2008 4:12 PM
Peeps? All Easter candy is disgusting. Thank god I'm Jewish. The only revolting candy related item I have to deal with is chocolate covered matzah, which is an insult to chocolate, but at least it's real chocolate.
Posted by: BWeaves at March 21, 2008 4:15 PM
Melody, is the bunny hollow? If it's hollow, I will chompy that bunny ears first or ass backwards, I don't care which.
I suspect the devil children on Jezebel eat ONLY peeps. That would explain it.
Dude, nothing on this Earth eats Peeps. Even dogs won't touch 'em.
...God...You haven't been trying to eat the things...have you?
Posted by: Jerce at March 21, 2008 4:17 PM
Man, I'm having a hard time placing the two blonds in the Buffy photo who aren't SMG, Charisma Carpenter or Michelle Trachtenberg. Who are they? And I only recognized Spike by his cheekbones. Man he looks weird with his real dark curly hair. And would it have killed the two guys on the left to wear a SUIT. SUITS are sexy, men. They get you laid. Women love them. "Every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man."
Posted by: BWeaves at March 21, 2008 4:20 PM
Sarina, it is a matter of personal preference. I prefer the Dove Bunny because Dove chocolate rocks.
As long as it is not the giant ear bunny because that thing tastes like crap.
Posted by: Melody at March 21, 2008 4:26 PM
The Scarlett/Tom Waits thing has been known from the start...where have you been?
Posted by: joflow at March 21, 2008 4:31 PM
Canology: That sound you hear is the prestigious Yeats Summer School begging you to come over this year and lecture on a brilliant new angle on his work.
Cadbury's Creme Eggs RULE!
BWeaves: In fairness, you do have to endure two weeks of constipation every Passover after eating the matzo balls and then there are gefilte fish, so on balance, Peeps don't look so bad.
Posted by: PaddyDog at March 21, 2008 4:53 PM
Indeed, Creme Eggs are from the Gods.
Peeps are evil. They are made of ground up puppies, I've heard. And they're actually alive. They feed on... hope. And joy, and friendship. They devour those things and emit sin... and Republicans.
The gods of what? Pancreatic cancer and hyperglycemia? I still maintain that those bitches taste like sandy diabetes and possibly give you nerve damage.
I will concede that they're still not as gross as Peeps, though.
i found cadbury creme ornaments for christmas (the only difference was the wrapper). i was giddy when i found them, because i love anything cadbury--especially these eggs, but it took away from the novelty of cadbury creme egg season.
so far i have managed to avoid them because i need to lay off of the chocolate. recently i discovered a british shop near my house and i can't resist a mars bar. i just wish we had kinder eggs here.
Posted by: kelley at March 21, 2008 5:11 PM
i heard about scarlett johanssen covering tom waits and i seized up a little and then i decided i'd never heard it. i didn't just read it either. didn't.
Posted by: kb at March 21, 2008 5:17 PM
BWeaves: In fairness, you do have to endure two weeks of constipation every Passover after eating the matzo balls and then there are gefilte fish, so on balance, Peeps don't look so bad.
Posted by: PaddyDog at March 21, 2008 4:53 PM
HAHAHAH! True, but since there's nothing in the Bible that says I have to eat this crap, I don't anymore. In fact, my entire family has banned my mother from ever serving gefilte fish again. Mom still served it last year, but we all took our plates, uneaten, to the disposal and did a mass "grind / flush" and she got the hint.
I'd recommend that for Peeps, but I'm afraid they'd gum up the disposal.
Posted by: BWeaves at March 21, 2008 5:36 PM
Kelley, I just had a Kinder egg last night! Got a pirate snail with a trebuchet in it.
Hmm, I wonder what the Kinder toy designers are smoking...wow...now, if only they put some of THAT in the eggs....
Posted by: MO at March 21, 2008 5:39 PM
Supernanny video: There is a simple remedy for all that biting- kick the little bastard's teeth out. Just rare back and shove that size 10 hush puppy right into his dirty little mouth. He is 8 or so, they will grow back (mostly), and it will definitely stop the fucking biting.
You don't have to cauterize your wombs, ladies. Just remember that if your spawn acts that way, haul off and smack him one. Just one. If it is good enough, he will get the message. It would also help if you move to a red state, because (at least here in Georgia) the cops will actually hold them down for you to beat if it is deemed necessary. Less work for them in the long run.
Peeps are the Devil's work. They are made from the entrails of the damned. You may be chewing on Jerry Falwell's duodenum and not even know it.
I'm not sure what the hell has been happening to those kids but taking about f**king someone in the privates speaks of abuse.
I can tell you this much, if those little terrors were with me for one day all that shit would stop. I don't care what anyone believes in, but a good spanking and some in your face screaming will work every time.
Peeps are truly disgusting. I was given peeps in 4th grade and hide them opened underneath my bed for 3 years and they stayed exactly the same. No mold, no discoloration, nothing.
Posted by: virenda at March 21, 2008 7:06 PM
So I'm the only one who can take or leave Peeps besides Stacey?
BWeaves - The blonde between Charisma and Seth is Amber Benson, a.k.a. Tara; the one in the center is Emma Caulfield (Anya), although the only reason I know that is because when I looked up 'Buffy' on IMDb (couldn't quite remember Amber Benson's name), they had pictures from that event.
Posted by: Mimi at March 21, 2008 7:52 PM
Oh, and - I don't really consider it a true reunion without Anthony Stewart Head. WHERE IS GILES?!
Posted by: Mimi at March 21, 2008 7:53 PM
In my house the proper term for easter is International Zombie Day. 'Cuz, you know, that guy supposedly came back from the dead.
Never associate the Savior of Man with those walking insect incubators. If anything, he is a vampire, what with all the blood drinking and such.
'Benver Droncos'...Heh, funniest shit I've seen all day. Maybe it's because I'm a Broncos fan...
Also: knock off all that peeps bashing. They ain't that bad. Sure, I can only eat a couple at a time, but add to that the microwave fun and you have a great treat.
Posted by: the_Wakeful at March 21, 2008 8:57 PM
Jay! Awesome!
"A bell though, that's just stupid"
Posted by: Theresa at March 21, 2008 9:13 PM
Peeps are the candy corn of Easter.
Posted by: Ciji at March 21, 2008 9:38 PM
That Supernanny clip? If your kids act like that, you're doing something really really really wrong. I cannot stand permissive parents, I think they're worse than overly authoritarian parents (and both are extremes).
As a mother, I have to say, I'm damn glad the husband and I put in all the hard work of making sure she learned to act right when she was younger. It definitely makes things easier when they're older (she's a teenager, which comes with different issues, but at least the groundwork we laid is good).
My husband cannot even watch Supernanny, he gets too pissed off at the parents on the show and starts yelling at the TV. BUT I have to say, it's really interesting to watch it with my daughter--we talk about what the parents could do differently, why the kids are acting the way they are, etc. I think if my daughter has kids someday she's going to be a pretty good mom!
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at March 21, 2008 9:54 PM
Dude, nothing on this Earth eats Peeps. Even dogs won't touch 'em.
On the contrary, Jerce... A now-famous exchange in our household, which took place shortly after I became a part of it, went down like this:
Mr. Salty: (Irritatedly) Ivy doesn't eat Peeps.
Me: Sure she does! Watch her!
After that, I was forbidden from feeding the dogs "people food."
And what the hell do you bunch of elitists have against Peeps, anyway? It's just marshmallow covered in colored sugar, with some chocolately eyes. Penna pride, bitches!
I'm surprised. I've always liked Peeps. But the champion of all Easter candy is Cadbury Mini Eggs. I'm eating them riiiiight now.
Posted by: Lannie at March 21, 2008 10:32 PM
Count me in on the Peeps are vile, disgusting club. I am antihate. But there's something about Peeps that makes me feel angry and sorry about the state of the world. They're such a paradox. I'm attracted to and kind of repulsed by them when I see them. Are they innocent, and unassuming or just evil? They leave me with the same mixed bag of feelings that Disney does. As a child, I would try and crush them and fold them up, when any were in the house. The website just confirms that Peeps are not really meant for human consumption. As for the Cadbury eggs, I like them sort of. I used to like to slide them open and lick some of the center out. Then, I'd realize that it actually tasted pretty gross and I'd either throw the rest of it away or eat it, very very slowly, from the inside out. Unlike Peeps, I had to eat these first to be repulsed by them. With Cadbury eggs, part of the appeal is the texture of gooey stuff on the inside. Plus, they're novel cause they only come around easter time. Oh yeah, and there's something about the wrapping that's attractive too. At any rate, eating a Cadbury always makes me hate myself for doing so afterwards.
That Kellogg's raspberry bar is no less weird than lots of the pseudo "healthy" food at markets. I'm suddenly reminded by a movie called the Future of Food. Sure, it's a biased movie but it raises some interesting, relevant, factual points. I think I need to start my own restaurant/company and make/grow my own food. There will be no place for Peeps in my company. RIP Peeps.
Posted by: Mik at March 21, 2008 10:40 PM
MO, my friend brought me back some kinder eggs a few months ago. i got a weird fuzzy bunny and a purple racecar. not as cool as yours.
i don't like peeps, but i would miss them if they ever disappeared from the shelves. and i am a peep traditionalist--if i must get them, i want the yellow birds.
Posted by: kelley at March 21, 2008 11:43 PM
A bunny IN the egg...whoa, it's the anti-Cadbury...Kelley, dude, you've just blown my mind!
If you or any of my American brethren/sistren need a Kinder fix, I'm sure we can arrange some sort of cross-border Kindersmugglin'...the Underground Ovaroad....Mars bars too, I seem to recall someone lusting after them recently (was that in this thread?). Imagine the possibilities! What might we Canucks want in exchange...? Food for thought...
Okay, having re-read this silliness, I realize that I officially need to get some sleep!
Posted by: MO at March 22, 2008 12:21 AM
My mother knew for a long time that the best way to get me to act like those kids in that video was to put Peeps in my Easter basket but leave out the Cadbury eggs. I hate marshmallow but love frosting. The kinky connotations of licking and sucking out tons of white goo from those things didn't occur to me until I was in my early twenties. Oh, and by the way, my bunny's ears always mysteriously disappeared before I could get to them. I need therapy.
Posted by: Kris at March 22, 2008 2:34 AM
And what the hell do you bunch of elitists have against Peeps, anyway?
I thought everyone knew.
Litely, go to that peeps-deconstruction site and observe the photograph of what happened when they dissolved a Peep in acid. In acid.
Yes, the Peep itself melted into brightly-colored sludge--after a disturbingly long spell.
But...the eyes were unaffected.
By acid.
I won't have them in the house.
Posted by: Jerce at March 22, 2008 9:17 AM
MO, i would love to have a kinder egg hook-up!
Posted by: kelley at March 22, 2008 11:24 AM
Jerce: That's... disturbing. Now I know why I don't eat the things.
Posted by: Cuno at March 22, 2008 11:57 AM
Indeed, joflow. I'm strangely drawn to the idea. I think Scarlett gets a pass for this, I'm not entirely sure why... tiven that Tom Waits is a pretty sacred figure. But damnit, I'm intrigued!
Also, Emma Caulfield looks ridiculous.
Posted by: Jams at March 22, 2008 3:15 PM
Er... given. 'Given' is the word I was looking for.
Posted by: Jams at March 22, 2008 3:18 PM
Ugh, peeps. At a club sport initiation at school, they shut a bunch of us in a room with 3 or 4 boxes of peeps and 20 minutes. I had never eaten one in my life, and I had to eat 5 of them in one sitting. It was awful. In the end, we finished one box and threw the rest out the window one by one. Though now I'm doubting that they'll ever disintegrate...
The Tom Waits album is old news. I heard that David Bowie praised it though, which means there might be a chance that it's not terrible.
Posted by: Crinn at March 22, 2008 4:59 PM
I think everyone better start learning to get along and learn to live with each other or there will be no more world to live in. Make friends online and all around the world . Maybe you can try blackcentury dotcom which is a niche interracial dating service.
Posted by: ttjessie at March 23, 2008 10:38 PM
Mrs. TK has been acting weird lately. Like... some sort of sinister change is coming over her.
Last night, I was taking out the trash, and in the bag I discovered... two empty Peeps packages.
I'm so scared.
I'm calling an exorcist. Or at least the magic midget from Poltergeist.
Everybody, go out and stock up on Oreos®. Maybe then it will stop bothering us.
Posted by: Jerce at March 24, 2008 12:00 PM
I kind of like Peeps, as in, I can eat just one, just once a year.
Posted by: Kolby at March 24, 2008 12:32 PM
They're such a paradox. I'm attracted to and kind of repulsed by them when I see them. Are they innocent, and unassuming or just evil?
Posted by: Go Big Red at March 24, 2008 2:35 PM
The chocolate rabbit discussion reminded me of a cartoon I once saw. One bunny with his ass bitten off says to a bunny missing his ears "My ass hurts." His friend answers "What?" Stupid joke, but I laugh every time I see it. Yeah, sometimes I'm easily entertained.
Epic video.