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Pajiba Love 03/19/09 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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The Stuck-Up Bitch Edition

Pajiba Love / Dustin Rowles

Pajiba Love | March 19, 2009 | Comments (21)

Stacey is … let’s just say unavailable the rest of the week. I apologize that my links don’t line up well with hers.

While I’m here, I’m going to plug a friend’s site: She does celebrity junkets. In her blog, she reveals the scurrilous off-the-record details about celebrities. Biggest asshole? Christian Bale. Runner-up? Sandra Bullock. Stuck-up bitch? Scarlett Johansson. (StarF**ker)

The working title for Jason Segal and Nick Stoller’s Muppet Movie: The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time. I’m glad they’ve tempered expectations. (Screen Junkies)

You ever go on one of those whale watches and only to discover there is a mass murderer on board? Sucks to be you. Here’s a trailer for a movie about the experience. (FilmDrunk)

Here’s some Kevin Costner/Tommy Lee Jones casting news I couldn’t be bothered to write about myself. (FirstShowing)

The new Crank 2 movie poster debuted on Twitter. In related news, I deleted my Twitter account. But, you can still follow the site on the Pajiba Twitter. (Slashfilm)

Have you folks been following John’s new book review site? Well, you should, you illiterate motherfuckers. (The Second Pass)

It’s official: Linda Hamilton will do voiceover work for Terminator Salvation. (IWatchStuff)

Indie flick fans: Hulu is streaming a few of last year’s SXSW’s films. (Anne Thompson)

Tom Cruise is kicking around an idea to do Mission Impossible IV. Oh, bother. (CHUD)

Because if you have to see The Haunting in Connecticut, at least do so for free. (Bloody Disgusting)

Finally, on the topic of Jon Stewart, Pythons are making their way across the country, and they can’t be stopped. “Thanks, Florida, for starting almost every shitty thing in the world ever.” (H/T branded)

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Florida Pythons on the Loose
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesImportant Things w/ Demetri MartinPolitical Humor

Pajiba Love is usually brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Oh Dustin, I watched that last night and new immediately you'd be all up on Fl about that.
Yay! Uh I mean...oh no snaaakes. It's snaaakes!

Posted by: JenVegas at March 19, 2009 1:05 PM

I have a blog, if I ever write anything good, I'll get back to you.

Posted by: George at March 19, 2009 1:07 PM

Dude I want a python! I don't think they'll make their way to Minnesota, unfortunately.

I used to have an albino corn snake who was the best pet I've ever owned. I love snakes and reptiles, I really do.

Posted by: Snath at March 19, 2009 1:17 PM

In related news, I deleted my Twitter account.

Sigh...It was fun while it lasted. Although the fact that Scarjo is a super stuck up bitch doesn't surprise me in the least.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 19, 2009 1:17 PM

Just don't let the media hype around snakes draw any of our focus away from America's greatest reigning threat: bears.

Posted by: branded at March 19, 2009 1:17 PM

"Stacey is … let’s just say unavailable the rest of the week."

Oh heavens... She's in jail? The slammer? The joint? The pen? The brig? The Graybar Hotel? The big house? I done tolded her nobody didn't need to have that many chickens in the trunk, but d'ya think she listened to me? Heck no she dint... Them poor chickens...

Posted by: Skitz at March 19, 2009 1:19 PM

I think the Colbert Report needs more bears.

Posted by: Snath at March 19, 2009 1:20 PM

America's greatest reigning threat: bears.

I read that the bears can smell the menstruation.

America's greatest threat has to be cougars branded. Especially in this economy.

Posted by: admin at March 19, 2009 1:26 PM

I think the words in Connecticut added to any given movie title reduces my interest in seeing it by at least 80 percent.

The exception, of course, would be Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3: In Connecticut, which I would want to see out of sheer contrariness.

Posted by: Wednesday at March 19, 2009 1:26 PM

Wednesday:

Haven't you ever seen Christmas in Connecticut? Beautiful film.

Dustin:

I'm just curious, how does your friend keep her job if she keeps dishing the dirt on the celebs? If I did that about my clients (and oh how I would love to sometimes), I would be blackballed in my industry really quickly.

The blog is written anonymously. -- DR

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 19, 2009 1:38 PM

That Muppet movie has huge potential. It could be hilarious, actually, if it's done right. It sounds like a Christopher Guest kinda setup, everyone reuniting after a big, terrible, life-changing event, remembering the good times they had and trying to be civil to each other even though they ended badly (because 20 years later there's no reason to be overtly hostile even though you've not quite forgiven and forgotten because people are petty... awkwaaaard.). Could be hysterical. I hope it is, because Jason Segel has yet to disappoint me.

Posted by: Jessica at March 19, 2009 1:49 PM

Don't know about "The Haunting in Connecticut" but "The Connecticutville Horror" is the bursar's office at U of H.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 19, 2009 1:54 PM

So, did anyone else think that the tag line for Crank 2 was a bit of a nod to Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

Well, she turned me into a newt!

A newt?

...I got better.

Posted by: tamatha at March 19, 2009 2:29 PM

America's greatest threat has to be cougars branded. Especially in this economy.

Tell me about it, Admin! I had one approach me on the street one day and she asked me for directions to the nearest Wal Mart. You could sense the desperation in her mascara smeared eyes, her tattered copy of the last Wall Street Journal to report a stock climb, and one breast limping while the other was just staring at me as if to say "This is what the greed of man has left us...sagging tits."

I just had to take a picture with my phone, it was too horrific that nobody would believe me.

Posted by: Mike R. at March 19, 2009 3:29 PM

So, did anyone else think that the tag line for Crank 2 was a bit of a nod to Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

I thought about that when I saw the trailer.

And then I thought "that movie looks awful".

Posted by: Jay at March 19, 2009 3:35 PM

And then I thought, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a sucker for Statham.

Literally, Mr. Statham. Call me.

Posted by: Snath at March 19, 2009 3:54 PM

It's all fun and games until someone's pet/small child gets eaten by a python!

Reason 674 for me not to visit Florida.

Posted by: io at March 19, 2009 4:14 PM

I think the biggest asshole should be "Christian Bale" not "Christian Slater" as it reads in the second paragraph up top. Unless I missed her post about Slater.

Posted by: TylerDFC at March 19, 2009 4:20 PM

Why did it have to be snakes...

Posted by: DaveKan at March 19, 2009 7:19 PM

I saw Scarlett at a bar once. I couldn't tell if she was stuck up, but she was hotter in person than I ever could have imagined. I was too scared to talk to her.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 20, 2009 1:01 AM

but will these snakes make it to the planes???

Posted by: Fuel at March 20, 2009 9:30 AM





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