free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 03/17/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Spitzer’s Whore may have earned over 200 grand in music downloads, (HuffPo) but she’s still not the most undeservingly wealthy prostitute today! (WIMB)

Oh, look! Here’s a St. Patty’s Day themed passive aggressive note. (PassiveAggressiveNotes)

Check out episode two of Titlepage, featuring first time authors Sloane Crosley, Keith Gessen, Julie Klam, Ceridwen Dovey. (TitlepageTV)

Breaking News!!! Mentally unstable person does something perverted! (QuizLaw)

I guess I’ll consider this a resounding endorsement for “5 Hour Energy.” (Hispanic! At The Disco)

Michael Bay has a BayBlog! Which includes a recollection of the time he (allegedly) had sex with Katie Holmes! Can’t… Contain… Self…! (Galley Slaves)

And speaking of the Scientolotards, second-rate Jesus celebrated a birthday. (IDLYITW)

Which of these facts is less surprising: that McConaughey’s preggers girlfriend shares his penchant for a lack of personal hygiene or that McConaughey’s favorite drink is a margarita? (Celebitchy)

Jennifer Aniston’s dental floss bikini is marginally NSFW. (Popoholic)

After the jump, Jonah Hill is dating Andy Samber’s dad. (H/T, Dan!)

Pajiba Love | March 17, 2008 | Comments (31)


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Comments

Austin, TX - Last year, when gossip blogger Perez Hilton came to South by Southwest, he was just a spectator.

This year, he arrived as one of the music industry's key playmakers - and his newfound power was on full display as he played host to one of the festival's more coveted parties. (AP Wire)

Further proof that god hates me.

Posted by: twig at March 17, 2008 3:47 PM

I would just like to thank Agent Bedhead for the new picture on her banner.

I will take my McConaug-Hey any way as long as I do not have to smell him.

Shirtless McConaughey....

Posted by: Melody at March 17, 2008 3:50 PM

Please don't hurt me when I say this: I kind of like Michael Bay's new commercial where he keeps blowing things up around his house.

"Hi, I'm Michael Bay, and I command that things be AWESOME!" BOOM!

Posted by: Kolby at March 17, 2008 3:58 PM

Kolby...me too.

:dies inside:

Posted by: Julie at March 17, 2008 3:58 PM

Further proof that god hates me.

Don't you worry, honey. This time next year that porcine homonculus will be so over. Even the jokes about his being a has-been will have died away.

He'll be even more of a nobody than Tara Reid. So cheer up!

Posted by: Jerce at March 17, 2008 4:02 PM

Jerce, I just watched that Michael Bay commercial Kolby mentioned, so I'm doing... awesome.

AWESOME BBQ! AWESOME POOL!

Posted by: twig at March 17, 2008 4:04 PM

Bay go kaboom!!

Nice commercial.

Posted by: Melody at March 17, 2008 4:24 PM

Not to sound like an idiot, but is that actually Bay's blog? I mean, there's no chance it is someone else writing as him? Because I had just found a small soft spot in my heart for the guy (yes, yes, that damn commercial!), but now I feel I may hate him all over again. Oh well, in some ways it feels sort of right to dislike Michael Bay, like a return to the kinder, gentler days of my youth when I felt there was hope for humanity and I knew Bay was a tool.

Posted by: docsmartypants at March 17, 2008 4:41 PM

The question of whether Matthew McConaughey, his pregnant girlfriend or their gestating spawn ever bathe at all does not concern me nearly so much as WHY THE HOLY HELL ARE HIS ARMS SO EFFING TINY???

See, that right there is reason #67 why I love Reign of Fire so much. Those wee little Tyrannosaur arms just ain't natural and he should therefore be eaten by a dragon every goddamn day of his life, just like Prometheus and his liver and the eagle, only a lot less mythic. His ripe stench will just make him easier pickings.

Posted by: Sarina at March 17, 2008 5:04 PM

Heather Mills: meh. Paul McCartney was a dumbass to marry her, and he's reaping his dumbass reward. WTF did he think was going to happen? "Oh, Paul, you're just the greatest, even though you're Methusalah and I'm a one-legged Jezebel, I'm sure we were meant to be together. You know what makes my stump feel better, Paulie? Lying on a bed of thousand-dollar bills. You do have sacks and sacks of thousand-dollar bills, don't you?"

I have not the slightest.little.bit.of.sympathy for him. He's paying $49M in smart money as a result of his naive belief that an attractive younger woman would leap (ok, awkwardly hop) at the chance to marry a 65-year-old, pucker-faced anachronism who looks like he was just pulled out of the dryer for something other than his ridiculous amount of fame and money. She's a self-aggrandizing, gold-digging attention whore, to be sure, but maybe she figures the world owes her one for the leg. Crazy, mean bitch? Yes. Craziest, meanest bitch to undeservedly get millions and millions of dollars? Not by a long shot. She's just getting more press coverage.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at March 17, 2008 5:04 PM

Sarina, are you trying to fire up the anti- Reign of Fire squad?


SoCalled, word.

Posted by: Melody at March 17, 2008 5:15 PM

socalled, I do love your rants. They ring with truthiness.

I know not of this Michael Bay commercial. I must investigate. Youtube!

Posted by: Daphne at March 17, 2008 5:15 PM

that an attractive younger woman would leap (ok, awkwardly hop)

Holy balls, that made me laugh. And I have a good friend who is missing a leg, so my seat in hell will be made of lava, barbed wire, and Michael Bay movies.

Posted by: Julie at March 17, 2008 5:18 PM

Thousand-pound notes, dammit, thousand-pound notes.

More ranting as events justify, which means almost certainly.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at March 17, 2008 5:19 PM

"Sarina, are you trying to fire up the anti- Reign of Fire squad?"

That was not my intention, I swear! I realise no one will believe that...but I can't seriously get on anyone's case for hating on a craptacular movie when I hate all kinds of decent movies for no logical reason whatsoever. I fully get why some people hate that movie, I just don't happen to be one of them.

Posted by: Sarina at March 17, 2008 5:32 PM

Dammit, socalled. Stop trying to rationalize my Heather Mills hate. It makes life easier if I can imagine her as an evil witch who preyed upon an innocent and beloved pop culture icon.

Thusly, I will be putting my fingers in my ears and singing: "LA LA LA LA LA!"

Posted by: Stacey at March 17, 2008 5:55 PM

Heather... Paul...

Meh.

Nothing can intrude on or spoil

ST Paddy's day.

Happy day all.

Posted by: general rhubarb at March 17, 2008 6:26 PM

Reign of Fire should be a movie I don't like, but what's to dislike? Dragons? Early shirtless scene with Christian Bale? Bale using his native accent (is it still an accent if it's native)? Gerard Butler? Batshit crazy McConaughey, who happens to be shirtless while flying through the air with an ax and getting smacked on? These are all positives, as far as I know.

Posted by: Daphne at March 17, 2008 6:38 PM

stace--
check your email for me, o lovely mistress of the mildly insane!

-buns

Posted by: bionic bunny at March 18, 2008 2:53 AM

Yeah, I have very little hate for Heather Mills and tend to agree with socalled, I tend to view relationships like this as a kind of business transaction. Yes, she married him for his money but he married her because she was a hot blonde who is a good deal younger than him. You get what you pay for, and you pay for what you get.

I still don't get the McConaughey love - he is the antitheseis of my ideal man. Eeeeurgh. Plus he looks like he'd be kinda oily if you touched him, you know? And like he smells of baby oil, stale beer and weed.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at March 18, 2008 7:55 AM

AtO

That's what the garden hose is for. Scrub down your McConaughey before he gets in the house. Like one of those big dogs that likes to roll in fish.

Posted by: twig at March 18, 2008 8:58 AM

I also think Paul got what he deserved, but that doesn't stop me HATING Heather Mills. She is the worst of attention whores because let's face it even Paris Hilton is happy just to be an attention whore while Mills tries to convince every one that she really hates the spotlight but HAS to do it to make sure everyone is aware of these really important causes that we're all too stupid to embrace unless enlightened Heather brings them to our attention. Let me be quite clear here: ANY person who wants me to stop eating cheese has my undying hate FOREVER!

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 18, 2008 9:38 AM

"Let me be quite clear here: ANY person who wants me to stop eating cheese has my undying hate FOREVER!"

I feel we have finally reached the root of the problem here...

Posted by: Alex the Odd at March 18, 2008 10:05 AM

Plus he looks like he'd be kinda oily if you touched him, you know? And like he smells of baby oil, stale beer and weed.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at March 18, 2008 7:55 AM

Well, even if he didn't believe bathing would give him a disease or wash away his soul or whatever, he can't clean himself fully because his creepy teeny tiny arms just don't have the reach for him to be able to wash properly. Just look at them! They're so short! Maybe he's bionic because he was in a tragic accident with a thresher, and they're like, replacement arms, and some robodoctor measured wrong. Or maybe they're regular biological-style replacement arms from a super secret stable of spare parts for actors, and these arms happened to be extras in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

Anyway, the point is that he would only be able to wash everywhere if he were to use a cloth on a stick or something, and some lower primates haven't yet mastered the art of tools.

Posted by: Sarina at March 18, 2008 10:10 AM

That's what the garden hose is for. Scrub down your McConaughey before he gets in the house. Like one of those big dogs that likes to roll in fish.

It is so true. I recognize all of the similarities now. Thanks twig for clearing that up.

Posted by: Melody at March 18, 2008 10:11 AM

But it's got pus in it!!!

Posted by: Adere at March 18, 2008 10:14 AM

Alex The Wonderfully Odd:

I love how you just get me.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 18, 2008 10:17 AM

Reign of Fire should be a movie I don't like, but what's to dislike? Dragons? Early shirtless scene with Christian Bale? Bale using his native accent (is it still an accent if it's native)? Gerard Butler? Batshit crazy McConaughey...

You left out a few things, like for instance the Star Wars reenactment and the TOTALLY UNEXPECTED ALICE KRIGE!!

Posted by: Jerce at March 18, 2008 11:43 AM

I would have to add, for a movie that could not have had much of a budget, some very good looking and moving dragons.

Dear Peter Jackson, please make the Teremaire movie not suck. It would be so, so, so easy for it to be awesome.

Posted by: twig at March 18, 2008 12:07 PM

Okay okay okay. Alex and socalled: did you hear about the water thing? Come on! We've hated on the Vagina of Napalm for less.

Posted by: Stacey at March 18, 2008 12:24 PM

Typo alert- it's Andy SamberG, not Samber. He and Bill Hader are pulling Saturday Night Live out of mediocrity. Love them.

Posted by: Sheri at March 18, 2008 1:43 PM