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Pajiba Love 03/11/09 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Andy Dick On A Show Without The Word "Rehab" In The Title

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | March 11, 2009 | Comments (43)

Uhhh, but it does have the word “house arrest” in the title. It’s an online talk show called “House Arrest with Andy Dick,” aptly called so due to his, uh, “legal situation.” Anyway, his first guest is Joey Greco and I kinda think I love it. (atom)

Our own John Williams has been slaving away of late, developing a brand new site devoted to books. And now it’s finally here, so go take a look. I swear, I totally didn’t mean to rhyme that. Anyway, it’s pretty fantastic, check it out. (SecondPass)

Hayden Panetterhoweveryouspellit and Milo Ventimawhatshisface are having a War of the Roses, of sorts, on the set of “Heroes.” Fun! (Webster’s)

My boyfriend could probably sympathize with this guy. He literally salvaged the glass tray from his broken microwave because he thought it might come in handy someday. And then to defy me he ate a sandwich off it one time. (QuizLaw)

Ahhh, the art of cinematic vomit. Many people tend to overlook it as an art form, and when it comes down to it that’s really what it is. Art. (ScreenJunkies)

God, Billy Corgan is a dickhead. (AgentBedhead)

Hmm… It looks like Bristol Palin’s marriage plans have been put on hold, to the tune of indefinitely. (Evil Beet)

It’s incredible animal feats of amazingness day! Here’s Humpy, the shoe-raping turtle… (KSK) And Mosha, a 3-year-old elephant with a prosthetic leg. (BBC News) Thanks to JakesAlterEgo and Sharon!

Oh, snap. PETA is not going to like this. (Jezebel)

Wow, I’m actually surprised it’s only 260 calories for a serving of Jimmy Dean’s blueberry pancake-wrapped sauasages and not “however many calories will instantly stop your heart.” (TIB)

This site usually tends to be kind of clueless… But this entry on Hannah Montana? Spot on! (Naive’s Guide)

Hey, if you’re as busy as James Franco, it’s OK to fall asleep during class. It’s not like the guy was doing bong hits and keg stands all night. (DListed)

Oh man… Iron Chef Cat Cora and her partner are both pregnant. Can you imagine a household with two pregnant women? I can’t even. (Celebitchy)

Katy Perry is still annoying trying to look sultry in a lingerie photoshoot. I think it’s got to be a pheromone in her or something. (Popoholic)

Here’s a list of 10 of the saddest songs that will break your heart. Sia! “Breathe me!” Ack! (RantsFromThePants)

The war between Jon Stewart and CNBC rages on:


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Comments

I just don't understand high fashion.

Posted by: Elsie at March 11, 2009 1:11 PM

The Jon Stewart/CNBC thing is kinda funny, but part of me is like "ok, I get that you're sort of mocking yourself, but at this point wouldn't it be best to just kind of leave it because you had the better argument to begin with?" I mean, that first show made me wonder if Jim Cramer was in Bear Stern's pocket, now I just think everyone involved is too enamored of their own influence.

Oh, James Franco, why are you sleeping in class when my bed is so available? Is it because no one molests you while you sleep in class? Well, I guess I can't argue with that.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at March 11, 2009 1:15 PM

omigodineedaKermit-the-frogvest. Seriously. I am all over that shit.

A friend of mine sent me a pic once of a dress made of sock monkeys. It was fantastic.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at March 11, 2009 1:20 PM

The weird thing? The moment you posted the link to TIB's bit on Jimmy Dean's Pancake-Sausage-Oh-Sweet-Jesus-My-Aorta-Just-Burst-Somebody-Call-An-Ambulance, the first thing that popped into my head was Jon Stewart dipping one of these fuckers in Baconnaise and then coming within a hair of projectile vomiting. And then the video for today? Jon Stewart. I may or may not have just hugged my computer.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 11, 2009 1:22 PM

dress made of sock monkeys

For some reason that made me think of spank socks, which visualized stitched into a dress is so many levels of disturbing. It looked like something Paris Hilton would wear.

Posted by: stipe42 at March 11, 2009 1:28 PM

Cat Cora and her partner look like sisters. CREEPY.

Posted by: Caroline at March 11, 2009 1:31 PM

Genny:

I love that Stewart is still on this. Those CNBC hacks and Cramer in particular have hypnotized so many people into believing they know anything about the market and they're just schills (sp?) for the criminal CEOs who got us into this mess. Everytime Cramer tries to protest his treatment on The Daily Show, Stewart just intensifies the display of how much of an idiot Cramer really is.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 11, 2009 1:40 PM

Take a look! It's in a book! Reading Rainbow! READING RAAAAAAAAINBOOOOOOW!

Posted by: Lucie at March 11, 2009 1:41 PM

Man, God bless Jon Stewart! Somehow he manages to come across as the bigger man, even while he's mocking himself. And as a Dora the Explorer survivor (I've got kids) AND a native Spanish speaker let me just say that "Hey kids, can you say 'pendejo?'" is about the funniest frakking thing ever.

Posted by: Armando at March 11, 2009 1:56 PM

Seriously, you can't beat Stewart in one of these battles. He will win every time because he runs a fake news show and doesn't hide that fact. The moment starting at @5:14 in the video is one of the funniest things I've seen in such a long time.

You want to know what makes me happy in the pants? Every episode of TDS.

Posted by: branded at March 11, 2009 1:56 PM

Can you imagine a household with two pregnant women

No, no, no, no, no. That would be so very bad. Someone has to remain able to bend down and pick things up toward the end.

Posted by: katy at March 11, 2009 1:59 PM

And yet for some reason, for the past however-many years it's been on, I am always watching something else at 10 o'clock. I don't understand myself, sometimes.

Posted by: Snath at March 11, 2009 2:00 PM

And supposedly Jim Cramer is going to be on TDS on Thursday night. Man I cannot wait for that. I might have to actually stay up to see it at 11, rather than catch it online the next day.

Posted by: mswas at March 11, 2009 2:05 PM

On the plus side, that turtle was hilarious. I really was waiting for the big finish to see the O face. On the minus side, after laughing at that clueless turtle, I clicked the link underneath the video to see what RapeLay was. It's a Japanese video game that lets you play rape. Disturbing.

Posted by: Sharopa at March 11, 2009 2:09 PM

Goddammit, Snellville ("Where Everybody's Somebody"), you're better than this!

This isn't backwoods Georgia, just another of Atlanta's suburbs, and the northern kind where more of the money lives too. There is just no need for lawn detritus, and wouldn't his subdivision's association been all up in his shit long before? They don't even stand for your lawn not being pretty enough, let alone shit on your lawn.

Sigh sigh sigh.

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2009 2:24 PM

I haven't seen the video (can't watch it at work), so I don't know how graphic it is, but Sharopa, I have seen a turtle O face.

Did you know that a turtle's junk is inflatable? And bigger than its head?!! I haven't been able to look my little guy Toonie in the eye since I caught him in the act with his (much bigger and different-species) tank-mate Yurtle.

Posted by: meaux at March 11, 2009 2:32 PM

Somebody get that poor turtle a mini fleshlight or something. That little guy has clearly got needs that aren't really being met by available sneakers.

Posted by: tamatha at March 11, 2009 2:35 PM

STE-WART! STE-WART! STE-WART!

Seriously, the man is like my hero. Especially since Cramer is one of the more hilariously stupid TV personalities out there. Seriously - he's slightly">http://www.erictyson.com/articles/20080922>slightly less accurate than a coin toss.

Posted by: Joe the Plumber at March 11, 2009 2:38 PM

Hmm... apparently my HTML-fu is no good.

http://www.erictyson.com/articles/20080922

Posted by: Joe the Plumber at March 11, 2009 2:40 PM

Meaux, I had no idea. Inflatable like a balloon?! Some animals just seem more sexual than others. A dog will dry hump a leg/chair/anything available, but I just never really imagined turtles having sexy times before. And now with your additional information I'm not sure I can unimagine it.

Posted by: Sharopa at March 11, 2009 3:03 PM

Yeah, um, sorry 'bout that, Sharopa. Believe me, it was a shock to my system as well.

Yep, pretty much looked to be inflated like a balloon...or like a mushroom sprouting from...down there.... *shuddering at recollection*

Thankfully, it's only happened once (that I'm aware of).

Posted by: meaux at March 11, 2009 3:10 PM

Thanks for the link Joe the Plumber. I'll try keeping an eye on that Eric Tyson fellow in addition to Stewart. Stewart and Colbert are the only people in the TV news business who I don't want to stab to death with a hat pin. God bless them.

Posted by: George at March 11, 2009 3:13 PM

Posted by: Caroline at March 11, 2009 1:31 PM

To you: creepy
To others (read: pervs): hot, with a dash of kink.
To the Japanese: too old, and not enough tentacles.

Posted by: Mike R. at March 11, 2009 3:15 PM

In other Pajiba (UN)Love:

MANDY MOORE AND RYAN ADAMS ARE NOW MARRIED.

You can send your condolences to TK at

mandymoorespussytasteslikeunicorns@magic.com

Posted by: boo at March 11, 2009 3:21 PM

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

I love you Boo.

Posted by: Julie at March 11, 2009 3:26 PM

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2009 2:24 PM

Word. That just about broke my mind.

MANDY MOORE AND RYAN ADAMS ARE NOW MARRIED.

That finished the job.

Posted by: Vermillion at March 11, 2009 3:29 PM

Stacey, I'm a fan of your work, but are you contractually obligated to mention your boyfriend in every post? I mean, we get it, you're TAKEN. No need to rub our noses in it.

Posted by: jimbob at March 11, 2009 3:30 PM

Hey Julie - You don't have any idea where our long lost friend, Shadows has disappeared to do you? I was thinking the other day how much I missed his hilarious contributions, and the on-going flirtation you two had.

Plus, you know, we all three love the Mayor.

Damn, I miss that guy.

Posted by: tamatha at March 11, 2009 3:31 PM

Oh my god, KERMIT!!! Noooooooo!!!!

Bristol Palin and whatshisface aren't getting married? Despite being forced into engagement by essentially the entire Republican party? No way! I'm shocked, SHOCKED!

Posted by: Melissa at March 11, 2009 3:34 PM

I've had pet turtles and the aquatic ones have, well, let's just say it's kinda gross down there.

I'll just use these adjectives: Black, shiny and pointy.

Posted by: Becky Tri-Tip Goddess at March 11, 2009 3:47 PM

Wanna join a hot and heated forum that discusses the truth about these big stars?
____T a l l m in g l e . C om____ has lots of sports fans there! besides, it's hot models, milfs, sexy chick s and handsome young men and chicks mingle club!!LOL checka!! :-)

Posted by: obama at March 11, 2009 3:54 PM

It's an honor to be spammed by you, Mr. President.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at March 11, 2009 3:58 PM

Well Dustin, he is tall, and I do believe he likes sports, so, you know, I can see how he'd be a fan of a web site where tall, sports fans can mingle with hot models, milfs, sexy chicks and handsome young men and chicks...

Posted by: tamatha at March 11, 2009 4:21 PM

I blame Georgia and Alabama for infecting Florida. They need to take their damned toilet-in-the-yard sensibilities and leave us Floridians to our beaches and swamps.

In other words, they need to get off my lawn.

Posted by: stardust savant at March 11, 2009 5:18 PM

So I start talking about moist turtle cocks and the next message is from spambot Obama about a dating website?

Hell of a search engine there...

Posted by: Becky Tri-Tip Goddess at March 11, 2009 5:24 PM

Tamatha: he can't access Pajiba from work, so I have been without my internet paramour for some time. I do see him on facebook though-he is happy and got engaged on Valentines Day, for which he is forgiven :p

Posted by: Julie at March 11, 2009 5:30 PM

Left off sad music list- Bonnie Raitt "I Can't Make You Love Me." That song stopped me cold everytime it came on, even back when I was instructed not to like country music.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at March 11, 2009 6:33 PM

Hell, I escaped from Florida to Georgia! You can keep it, and it's goddamn hot east coast beaches and Cub Scouts "camping" in the goddamn hot soggy Everglades.

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2009 6:42 PM

I enjoy JS's continued taunting of CNBC, because few people deserve it more than those clueless asswipes. I think when you're a business channel and you fail to see (as anyone with eyeballs and a functioning brain could have seen) the coming housing apocalypse, somebody should call you on it. And Cramer... I hate people who scream everything. That shit gives me a headache. I guess people think if you say something loud enough, that makes it not bullshit.


Posted by: Slash at March 11, 2009 7:33 PM

I'm not to proud of saying that I've seen Andy Dick on that Rehab show but ok ok I did and interestingly, He is Not Gay. Is this common knowledge? Just flamboyant and wacky.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 11, 2009 9:51 PM

Regarding two preggos, one roof: It's hard to tell for sure, but it looks like they staggered it well. The article made it clear that Jennifer is due sooner. If CC is just announcing now, she's probably in the second trimester; that means she'll still be pretty comfortable during the birth and baby boot camp. (The first and third trimesters are usually the hardest in terms of feeling like shit and wanting to randomly smack people.) Smart ladies.

Posted by: Erin MJ at March 11, 2009 10:34 PM

i love jon stewart.
and i love how quickly he is able to get an entire trinity of networks on the offense.

Posted by: courtney 1 at March 12, 2009 12:03 AM

I love Jon Stewart, but some of his segments spotlighting how utterly clueless, close-minded, negative and humorless some conservatives can be make me sad and angry rather than laugh. Cramer and the rest of the bunch would look far less stupid if they just laughed the whole thing off.

And Joe, sweetie, the reason the audience laughs after Jon makes a joke? IT'S BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING HILARIOUS. I'd explain the concept of humor to you but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't get it.

Posted by: DeadBessie at March 12, 2009 10:08 AM





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